Blasted Bill's Rule for being a Con DJ
Cut cause it's a long post...
Is it egotistical of me to only read other ppl's LJ posts just to see how many times i was mentioned and to see what kind of impact i had on the con? Yes, but I'm ok with that.
So i'm not going to do a full recap of confusion, but i will say it was one of the best cons in along time and i don't even know why, it just was. I was always busy, but only stressed during dinner and open cola set up. i will blame father bob for suggesting the shuttle, which turned out to be a disaster. The Saturday night DJ might be a good dj where ever he normally DJ's at, but he was not good at a con. In other words....
"worst DJ ever"
Before i made it down to the dance, tons of ppl were telling me how he was bad. I told them all i'd see for my self. And i did, and they were right. He played all techno. Which i like, but he played crappy techno. A hard feat indeed. You need a variety at a con dance. He would not take requests and suggested that ppl pay him $500 to play there requests. I didn't actually make a request, this information came to me from the group of jail bait girls that are always at the dance and always have tons of great requests. He didn't have the time warp and brick's hard drive filled with music had to be gotten just to get in the one request he would play. both which had a packed dance floor, but dude didn't get the hint and went back to playing crappy techno.
So while i was hanging out waiting for time warp, i heard lots of ppl tell me they should get DJ Brick, or tommy toony, or that guy they had last year to DJ instead. I was partially ego stroked and somewhat insulted because I was the DJ last year. at least they remembered that i was good. So i was inspired to finally write down all my con dj rules that night as i kept spouting them as the DJ broke rules. The rules will follow at the end of this post.
So Sunday i went to the bitch sessions. i did have several positive comments to make. i loved the hot dogs and increase in real food this year. still not nearly as good as we use to be able to get in the smoking consuite, but better the the last few years in main consuite. I pretty much knew the dance was going to be talked about and i knew that the whole concom would know what i would complain about, so i sat quietly and let some one else make the point. If i was going to make the point, i was going to just raise my hand and when called and say "do i REALLY have to tell you my complaint"? but no, i didn't have to, because they already knew and tried to keep the bash the dance talk to a minimum. i only said a very few things in that conversation and only in response to information directly about me and dj brick.
Now at this point i must mention that confusion did actually ask me to be a dj one of the nights again. because djing a dance is so very time consuming and labor intensive(set up at take down ads many hours, not to mention lugging everything from the house). at this point, i'm really burnt out of running things at cons. i really want to just go to cons and not have to worry about being at a certain place at a certain time, cept dinner and the hot tub.
some one at the bitch session made the suggestion to have a meet and greet with the dj before hand. I think this is a horrible idea, because the dj should already be fannish and not need to be trained in fandom before djing. This got me to thinking(a dangerous thing indeed)instead of training dj's in fandom, train fen to be dj's!
So as most of you know, i'm VERY passionate about the dances at con. it's so easy to get it right, it's lots of work, but it's easy. my frustration at trying to get cons to understand this lead me to buy thousands of dollars of eq and start djing the dances my self using the rules i devolped in my head (that i have listed below) as a guide line. I have proven that i was right at many cons many many times. i know that i am right about cons and the rules listed below. I have used them and been invited to several cons to be the dj and been invited back many years in a row. If you follow the rules below, you will succeed. I have proven it. the rules below though are aimed directly at sci fi cons. you might have difference of opinion steeming from weddings, clubs, or other such dances, but those are completely different environments. cons are extremely unique and these rules are targeted at that niche.
So if i want con dances to be good, but i am unwilling to put in the time to dj my self, and the issue is lack of good dj's who are from fandom, what can be done?
the fannish dj academy!
I have already talked to both penguicon and confusion, and i will, for at least the next few cons, endeavor to train new dj's to dj at cons. Variety is a good thing and i think we need train a variety of ppl who are capable to dj at cons. i'm willing to bring my eq. we just need ppl trained to set it up and use it. That part is easy! weather they have experience or not, i can work with them to get them ready to be a dj at cons! what would be awesome is if we could do a workshop on Friday then let them be the dj on Friday. but this would require some one(aka me) to watch over them and defeats my propose of being able to walk around the halls and go to parties at night. but i will work on it.
any ways, here's my rules....
DJ Blasted Bill's Rules for being a successful general Sci-Fi Convention DJ
#1. The lights in the ball room MUST be ON enough for people at the door to look in and see who’s dancing.
To often I see DJ’s turn the lights totally off and only have a few colored lights on the dance floor. Cons are not a club. People can go else where and eventually will. A good Sci-Fi con has LOTS of competition for attention on Saturday night. To keep people AT the dance, you need create an environment people will want to hang out in. You want them to sit in the back and talk while they rest or wait for a better song. If they can’t see any one, they’ll just leave the room, and then their attention will be drawn away by other people and events. If they make a point to come back later and poke their head in and they can’t see if any of their friends or people they want to dance with are on the dance floor or hanging out in the room, and it’s not a song they want to dance too, they will leave.
#2 The music MUST be loud enough to hear outside of the ballroom, but LOW enough that people in the back of the room can talk with out screaming.
This goes hand in hand with rule 1, creating a comfortable environment to hang out. You need the music to go out into the hall so that those hanging outside and walking by can be drawn back into the room when you drop a phat track that they have to dance too. But if the music is so loud that you can’t talk to any one, you’ll leave as soon as you’re tried or there’s not a song you want to dance too.
#3. Treat EVERY one with RESPECT! You are there to make THEM happy, not to make your self happy.
It is unbelievable to me how many DJ’s I have seen at cons that are just RUDE to people trying to make requests or making suggests to improve the environment. I know from being on the front lines how hard it is to deal with every one coming at your when you are trying to get music on and find music and run the lights and all, but you are either getting paid to be there, or volunteered to be there, and the reason for your being there is to entertain every one. For the hours you are in charge, their enjoyment is in YOUR hands. If you can’t be polite and treat every one with respect, don’t bother being a DJ, cause your just going to create a hostile and unpleasant environment. Also, don’t bother being a DJ if you aren’t a people person. If you don’t like to, or have a hard time, dealing with people, then for bob’s sake, don’t be a DJ.
#4 Do NOT play only music that you like or want.
Again, you are there to entertain every one. Not just you, not the girl you have the hots for, and not just your friends. You need to play a variety and listen to the crowd through requests and responses to the types of songs you’re playing.
#5 Only play any song once (one exception allowed for Time Warp, see rule #9)
Many times I’ve seen DJ’s replay songs they already played earlier that night. It just upsets the people that were already there. There are HUNDERS of great and playable songs, there’s no need to repeat songs just because some one wasn’t there when you played it the 1st time.
#6 NEVER play remixes of songs, only the original or most popular version of the songs
I am quit guilty of this rule. In fact, I’ve broken a few of these rules my 1st few times because I thought it was a good idea. You learn through trial and error. I thought a remix of a song was all cool and that every one needed to hear it and they would love it. I was wrong. I broke rule 4 and rule 6 at the same time. Remixes are fun to hear and can go over well at clubs and other venues, but at a con, you have such a narrow range in which to score hits with most of the crowd and remixes vastly shrinks the target size. If we all know how to dance to a song one way and the DJ plays a remix, then you constantly have to change up and it gets frustrating. Mostly, remixes just clear dance floors because it pisses people off. The worst are remixes with long intros and you don’t what the song is.
#7 NEVER play a cover version of a song that people would rather dance to the original of, except when the cover is the more popular version.
This is a hard rule to truly capture the sprit of the rule, but basically, it goes hand in hand with rule 6 and the upcoming rule 8. People can only dance to what they know. Playing something similar but new, just pisses people off and causes them to leave. A few people might like the new twist and be willing to stick it out, but your not there to play for the few, your there to play for the many. Some DJ’s think the original of something is to over played and want to try out something new. It’s just a bad idea. Now the problem becomes songs like “I think I’m alone now” and “Istanbul(not Constantinople)”. Both of these songs are covers, but the cover version is far more popular. So again, it’s what people know. That’s the version to play. If you don’t know what version is the most popular of a song, perhaps you should reconsidering being a DJ.
#8 NEVER play songs the audience has not heard
This goes hand in hand with 6 and 7. It’s all about what the audience knows. Dancing is very ritualistic and it’s hard to participate in the ritual if you don’t know the script. Don’t bring out the very cool and new song thinking it will be a big hit. Again, I can’t stress this enough, if people don’t know it, they can’t dance to it. There are VERY few exceptions to this rule and should only be attempted by very advanced DJ’s. But for the most part, just don’t bother. Again, there are so many good and danceable songs out there that there is not a need for new songs(and I know that is worded wrong and every one’s going to be like what about new popular songs and new is good ‘n stuff and you know what I mean so phttt)
#9 Only play the GOOD version of the Time Warp, play it at MIDNIGHT(as exact as possible erring on the side of being late), and play it ONLY once, unless it’s a day light savings time change night.
This rule is mostly a specific recap of rules 6-8, but I feel it’s a very important one. To me, Friday and Saturday is the building of momentum and energy until the huge con wide release of all that energy at midnight on Saturday. The whole weekend builds to that one moment when we are all united and in tune with the fun. After the time warp, it’s a down hill slide back to the mundane. I feel it’s an extremely important part of the fannish culture and this is backed up by the horror and shock I have witnessed when the DJ messes up. Either by playing a crappy remix, playing it to early, playing it 10 minutes late, or playing a cover version. Once I saw a little girl cry her eyes out cause the DJ played it early and she didn’t get there in time. This is a VERY important part of con and so EASY to get right. You are guaranteed a packed dance floor if you just hit play on the right song at the right time. The obvious exception to the “only play a song once” rule is during the rare times when con falls on a day light savings time weekend. When the time jumps or warps from 2am back to 1am, it’s perfectly ok to play the Time Warp again.
#10 When you clear the dance floor, STOP THE SONG!
This seems like a no brainier to me, but I have witnessed it happen many times. The dance floor is packed, the DJ puts on a bad song (or a song that happens to be wrong at that time) the floor completely empties, and doesn’t refill (some times during extreme genera changes, you will clear the floor but quickly refill it with others liking the new type of music) and the DJ lets it play on for the full song. Obviously you just messed up. The longer that song stays on, the more people that will leave the area and the longer it will take for you to recover. You WILL clear the dance floor at least once. I have cleared the dance floor at least one time every time I have DJ’ed. It will happen. Even on songs that are almost guaranteed to work. Some times, it’s because I’ve simply played a set that was so good that every one is now tired and needs to rest. But if it because clear after about 30 seconds or so that the song is a flop, get your next song queued up (if you’re a good DJ it should already be queued, but there are times when you’re behind) and just fade into the next song at a good point. Most people won’t even know and those who do will mostly likely appreciate it. I’ve been complemented and thanked so many times for doing this when it seems like the most basic and simple to follow logical course of action.
#11 No stupid sound effects over the Music.
Again, people want what they know. For the most part, sound effects are just going to piss people off. There are exceptions, but this is a very advanced technique that needs to be handled carefully. It usually doesn’t add much, so why bother?
#12 The audience is there to dance, not to listen to you talk. Keep the mic work to a minimal and keep it relevant.
I once saw a DJ do 5 minutes on how much Justin Timberlake sucks. Yah, we know he sucks. We are all at the con to escape the mundane, shut up and play some good music so we can dance.
#13 Avoid pauses or dead air.
This again seems like a no brainier, but I’ve witnessed many times DJ’s let there be dead air for like 20 seconds while they are away from the board looking for more cd’s. A bad song that breaks other rules if far better then dead air. Dead air drives people out of the room quicker then anything else (save celein deion). Some songs have long pauses at the end and beginning. It’s a big drag to be all in the moment dancing then have to stop to wait for the next song. If you don’t know how to mix songs so there is no dead air, you have no business being a DJ. I have only once seen this be a positive thing. One con was going so well that when the power died to the DJ booth for a few seconds, every one kept singing and keeping the beat and dancing and it was quite fun. This is extremely rare though.
#14 When people on the dance floor run screaming from the room to get away from the song you have played, STOP THE SONG!
I call this the celin deion rule. For some unknown reason, some DJ at a con decided it would be a good idea to play the theme from titanic?!?!!? I swore and started quickly walking out. About 5 or 6 others around me started screaming “make it stop” and ran out the door, to which I was more the happy to join in with them. Yet the song still played on!?!?!? This seems to me to be just a more aggressive form of rule 10, but I still wanted to included it.
Is it egotistical of me to only read other ppl's LJ posts just to see how many times i was mentioned and to see what kind of impact i had on the con? Yes, but I'm ok with that.
So i'm not going to do a full recap of confusion, but i will say it was one of the best cons in along time and i don't even know why, it just was. I was always busy, but only stressed during dinner and open cola set up. i will blame father bob for suggesting the shuttle, which turned out to be a disaster. The Saturday night DJ might be a good dj where ever he normally DJ's at, but he was not good at a con. In other words....
"worst DJ ever"
Before i made it down to the dance, tons of ppl were telling me how he was bad. I told them all i'd see for my self. And i did, and they were right. He played all techno. Which i like, but he played crappy techno. A hard feat indeed. You need a variety at a con dance. He would not take requests and suggested that ppl pay him $500 to play there requests. I didn't actually make a request, this information came to me from the group of jail bait girls that are always at the dance and always have tons of great requests. He didn't have the time warp and brick's hard drive filled with music had to be gotten just to get in the one request he would play. both which had a packed dance floor, but dude didn't get the hint and went back to playing crappy techno.
So while i was hanging out waiting for time warp, i heard lots of ppl tell me they should get DJ Brick, or tommy toony, or that guy they had last year to DJ instead. I was partially ego stroked and somewhat insulted because I was the DJ last year. at least they remembered that i was good. So i was inspired to finally write down all my con dj rules that night as i kept spouting them as the DJ broke rules. The rules will follow at the end of this post.
So Sunday i went to the bitch sessions. i did have several positive comments to make. i loved the hot dogs and increase in real food this year. still not nearly as good as we use to be able to get in the smoking consuite, but better the the last few years in main consuite. I pretty much knew the dance was going to be talked about and i knew that the whole concom would know what i would complain about, so i sat quietly and let some one else make the point. If i was going to make the point, i was going to just raise my hand and when called and say "do i REALLY have to tell you my complaint"? but no, i didn't have to, because they already knew and tried to keep the bash the dance talk to a minimum. i only said a very few things in that conversation and only in response to information directly about me and dj brick.
Now at this point i must mention that confusion did actually ask me to be a dj one of the nights again. because djing a dance is so very time consuming and labor intensive(set up at take down ads many hours, not to mention lugging everything from the house). at this point, i'm really burnt out of running things at cons. i really want to just go to cons and not have to worry about being at a certain place at a certain time, cept dinner and the hot tub.
some one at the bitch session made the suggestion to have a meet and greet with the dj before hand. I think this is a horrible idea, because the dj should already be fannish and not need to be trained in fandom before djing. This got me to thinking(a dangerous thing indeed)instead of training dj's in fandom, train fen to be dj's!
So as most of you know, i'm VERY passionate about the dances at con. it's so easy to get it right, it's lots of work, but it's easy. my frustration at trying to get cons to understand this lead me to buy thousands of dollars of eq and start djing the dances my self using the rules i devolped in my head (that i have listed below) as a guide line. I have proven that i was right at many cons many many times. i know that i am right about cons and the rules listed below. I have used them and been invited to several cons to be the dj and been invited back many years in a row. If you follow the rules below, you will succeed. I have proven it. the rules below though are aimed directly at sci fi cons. you might have difference of opinion steeming from weddings, clubs, or other such dances, but those are completely different environments. cons are extremely unique and these rules are targeted at that niche.
So if i want con dances to be good, but i am unwilling to put in the time to dj my self, and the issue is lack of good dj's who are from fandom, what can be done?
the fannish dj academy!
I have already talked to both penguicon and confusion, and i will, for at least the next few cons, endeavor to train new dj's to dj at cons. Variety is a good thing and i think we need train a variety of ppl who are capable to dj at cons. i'm willing to bring my eq. we just need ppl trained to set it up and use it. That part is easy! weather they have experience or not, i can work with them to get them ready to be a dj at cons! what would be awesome is if we could do a workshop on Friday then let them be the dj on Friday. but this would require some one(aka me) to watch over them and defeats my propose of being able to walk around the halls and go to parties at night. but i will work on it.
any ways, here's my rules....
DJ Blasted Bill's Rules for being a successful general Sci-Fi Convention DJ
#1. The lights in the ball room MUST be ON enough for people at the door to look in and see who’s dancing.
To often I see DJ’s turn the lights totally off and only have a few colored lights on the dance floor. Cons are not a club. People can go else where and eventually will. A good Sci-Fi con has LOTS of competition for attention on Saturday night. To keep people AT the dance, you need create an environment people will want to hang out in. You want them to sit in the back and talk while they rest or wait for a better song. If they can’t see any one, they’ll just leave the room, and then their attention will be drawn away by other people and events. If they make a point to come back later and poke their head in and they can’t see if any of their friends or people they want to dance with are on the dance floor or hanging out in the room, and it’s not a song they want to dance too, they will leave.
#2 The music MUST be loud enough to hear outside of the ballroom, but LOW enough that people in the back of the room can talk with out screaming.
This goes hand in hand with rule 1, creating a comfortable environment to hang out. You need the music to go out into the hall so that those hanging outside and walking by can be drawn back into the room when you drop a phat track that they have to dance too. But if the music is so loud that you can’t talk to any one, you’ll leave as soon as you’re tried or there’s not a song you want to dance too.
#3. Treat EVERY one with RESPECT! You are there to make THEM happy, not to make your self happy.
It is unbelievable to me how many DJ’s I have seen at cons that are just RUDE to people trying to make requests or making suggests to improve the environment. I know from being on the front lines how hard it is to deal with every one coming at your when you are trying to get music on and find music and run the lights and all, but you are either getting paid to be there, or volunteered to be there, and the reason for your being there is to entertain every one. For the hours you are in charge, their enjoyment is in YOUR hands. If you can’t be polite and treat every one with respect, don’t bother being a DJ, cause your just going to create a hostile and unpleasant environment. Also, don’t bother being a DJ if you aren’t a people person. If you don’t like to, or have a hard time, dealing with people, then for bob’s sake, don’t be a DJ.
#4 Do NOT play only music that you like or want.
Again, you are there to entertain every one. Not just you, not the girl you have the hots for, and not just your friends. You need to play a variety and listen to the crowd through requests and responses to the types of songs you’re playing.
#5 Only play any song once (one exception allowed for Time Warp, see rule #9)
Many times I’ve seen DJ’s replay songs they already played earlier that night. It just upsets the people that were already there. There are HUNDERS of great and playable songs, there’s no need to repeat songs just because some one wasn’t there when you played it the 1st time.
#6 NEVER play remixes of songs, only the original or most popular version of the songs
I am quit guilty of this rule. In fact, I’ve broken a few of these rules my 1st few times because I thought it was a good idea. You learn through trial and error. I thought a remix of a song was all cool and that every one needed to hear it and they would love it. I was wrong. I broke rule 4 and rule 6 at the same time. Remixes are fun to hear and can go over well at clubs and other venues, but at a con, you have such a narrow range in which to score hits with most of the crowd and remixes vastly shrinks the target size. If we all know how to dance to a song one way and the DJ plays a remix, then you constantly have to change up and it gets frustrating. Mostly, remixes just clear dance floors because it pisses people off. The worst are remixes with long intros and you don’t what the song is.
#7 NEVER play a cover version of a song that people would rather dance to the original of, except when the cover is the more popular version.
This is a hard rule to truly capture the sprit of the rule, but basically, it goes hand in hand with rule 6 and the upcoming rule 8. People can only dance to what they know. Playing something similar but new, just pisses people off and causes them to leave. A few people might like the new twist and be willing to stick it out, but your not there to play for the few, your there to play for the many. Some DJ’s think the original of something is to over played and want to try out something new. It’s just a bad idea. Now the problem becomes songs like “I think I’m alone now” and “Istanbul(not Constantinople)”. Both of these songs are covers, but the cover version is far more popular. So again, it’s what people know. That’s the version to play. If you don’t know what version is the most popular of a song, perhaps you should reconsidering being a DJ.
#8 NEVER play songs the audience has not heard
This goes hand in hand with 6 and 7. It’s all about what the audience knows. Dancing is very ritualistic and it’s hard to participate in the ritual if you don’t know the script. Don’t bring out the very cool and new song thinking it will be a big hit. Again, I can’t stress this enough, if people don’t know it, they can’t dance to it. There are VERY few exceptions to this rule and should only be attempted by very advanced DJ’s. But for the most part, just don’t bother. Again, there are so many good and danceable songs out there that there is not a need for new songs(and I know that is worded wrong and every one’s going to be like what about new popular songs and new is good ‘n stuff and you know what I mean so phttt)
#9 Only play the GOOD version of the Time Warp, play it at MIDNIGHT(as exact as possible erring on the side of being late), and play it ONLY once, unless it’s a day light savings time change night.
This rule is mostly a specific recap of rules 6-8, but I feel it’s a very important one. To me, Friday and Saturday is the building of momentum and energy until the huge con wide release of all that energy at midnight on Saturday. The whole weekend builds to that one moment when we are all united and in tune with the fun. After the time warp, it’s a down hill slide back to the mundane. I feel it’s an extremely important part of the fannish culture and this is backed up by the horror and shock I have witnessed when the DJ messes up. Either by playing a crappy remix, playing it to early, playing it 10 minutes late, or playing a cover version. Once I saw a little girl cry her eyes out cause the DJ played it early and she didn’t get there in time. This is a VERY important part of con and so EASY to get right. You are guaranteed a packed dance floor if you just hit play on the right song at the right time. The obvious exception to the “only play a song once” rule is during the rare times when con falls on a day light savings time weekend. When the time jumps or warps from 2am back to 1am, it’s perfectly ok to play the Time Warp again.
#10 When you clear the dance floor, STOP THE SONG!
This seems like a no brainier to me, but I have witnessed it happen many times. The dance floor is packed, the DJ puts on a bad song (or a song that happens to be wrong at that time) the floor completely empties, and doesn’t refill (some times during extreme genera changes, you will clear the floor but quickly refill it with others liking the new type of music) and the DJ lets it play on for the full song. Obviously you just messed up. The longer that song stays on, the more people that will leave the area and the longer it will take for you to recover. You WILL clear the dance floor at least once. I have cleared the dance floor at least one time every time I have DJ’ed. It will happen. Even on songs that are almost guaranteed to work. Some times, it’s because I’ve simply played a set that was so good that every one is now tired and needs to rest. But if it because clear after about 30 seconds or so that the song is a flop, get your next song queued up (if you’re a good DJ it should already be queued, but there are times when you’re behind) and just fade into the next song at a good point. Most people won’t even know and those who do will mostly likely appreciate it. I’ve been complemented and thanked so many times for doing this when it seems like the most basic and simple to follow logical course of action.
#11 No stupid sound effects over the Music.
Again, people want what they know. For the most part, sound effects are just going to piss people off. There are exceptions, but this is a very advanced technique that needs to be handled carefully. It usually doesn’t add much, so why bother?
#12 The audience is there to dance, not to listen to you talk. Keep the mic work to a minimal and keep it relevant.
I once saw a DJ do 5 minutes on how much Justin Timberlake sucks. Yah, we know he sucks. We are all at the con to escape the mundane, shut up and play some good music so we can dance.
#13 Avoid pauses or dead air.
This again seems like a no brainier, but I’ve witnessed many times DJ’s let there be dead air for like 20 seconds while they are away from the board looking for more cd’s. A bad song that breaks other rules if far better then dead air. Dead air drives people out of the room quicker then anything else (save celein deion). Some songs have long pauses at the end and beginning. It’s a big drag to be all in the moment dancing then have to stop to wait for the next song. If you don’t know how to mix songs so there is no dead air, you have no business being a DJ. I have only once seen this be a positive thing. One con was going so well that when the power died to the DJ booth for a few seconds, every one kept singing and keeping the beat and dancing and it was quite fun. This is extremely rare though.
#14 When people on the dance floor run screaming from the room to get away from the song you have played, STOP THE SONG!
I call this the celin deion rule. For some unknown reason, some DJ at a con decided it would be a good idea to play the theme from titanic?!?!!? I swore and started quickly walking out. About 5 or 6 others around me started screaming “make it stop” and ran out the door, to which I was more the happy to join in with them. Yet the song still played on!?!?!? This seems to me to be just a more aggressive form of rule 10, but I still wanted to included it.