random thought/question of the morning

[blaueteufelin]

Is the notion of "Bridezilla" just yet another misogynist caricature of women? I mean, we've all known brides-to-be who have been nightmares to their friends and family, but I see this image invoked in the media with a frequency I find a bit . . . inflated. Thoughts?

Comments

[blaueteufelin]

You are much more succinct than I am ;) See my comment below to mahogany.

[lizzabette]

I don't know if I would call it misogynist. I've never heard the term used by men, only by women.

Is it a caricature of women and a promotion of a negative stereotype? To be sure in its portrayals in popular culture (an entire show about bridezillas, really?). But I think there are women who do go absolutely crazy about their weddings, and in other situations I think there are women who go absolutely crazy about their weddings because other people are interfering, causing stress, etc. until the bride finally just breaks down to regain control.

[blaueteufelin]

It’s just as possible for women to believe and perpetuate misogynist stereotypes about our sex/gender as it is for racial or ethnic minorities to perpetuate negative stereotypes about their race or ethnic group. I would wager that contemporary women are at least as responsible as men, if not more so, for perpetuating the stereotype that women are out of control during our periods, and that is definitely a classic misogynist trope (and really, really old one, as in, pre-medieval). So I don't think it's something that men have to be talking about to necessarily be misogynist (though I have heard the term, or the concept at least, invoked by men).

So this article is the one that sparked my post. It's one of a number of articles I've seen recently that presents very, very unusually difficult brides as though they are the norm, or common. I haven’t checked whether these articles were written by men or women, but that they exist to me seems to indicate that this image is one that people are generally aware of. The kind of behavior in

[lizzabette]

I think I misused misogyny in this case. I was thinking of male-perpetuated stereotypes of women in particular, so your point is well-taken

[mahogany]

Well, I suppose it is misogynist, but then again, when is the last time, you saw a guy flipping out, screaming, breaking down crying, or pouting because the wedding dress/photographer/cake/wine/what.ev.er is not precisely to his liking

reposted to fix html

[blaueteufelin]

True, guys aren't likely to flip out about weddings, but they do get hysterical about other things ;) Some men go totally crazy over their sports teams, for example (like the bridezilla trope I don't think this is really all that common 'masculine' behavior, but some people, esp. men, really do get hysterical).

The question of the wedding industry and how it sells a particular image of the wedding day, I think, is a related but different issue. The wedding day has become increasingly bride-centered, for a number of reasons, but I don't think this necessarily means that modern brides are bridezillas in general. I think most women, even if they sometimes get caught up in the details, remember what the day really represents and what it really is about, which is celebrating a union. And I also think most women don't walk all over their bridesmaids or photographers or families or whatever in the way described in articles like this one, for example. I was talking to a friend about my age (I'm 25) about this, and I wonder if this is the

[lizzabette]

Oh, I thought I'd offset the negative bridezilla stereotype with the grooms behaving badly stereotype. This was posted in ObscureStore this morning:

http://lacrossetribune.com/articles/2008/06/10/news/z11groomarrest10.txt

There's a lot more out there, too.