god send me an angel, from the heaven's above
i've been gone a while but i'm back, and with a long entry, hence the lj cut.
DSL-dsl went down since tuesday, so i couldn't get on the internet, i was pissed! it had to go down when i was fighting with not one, not two, but three muthafuckos. fuckers! longer than a week without the internet sucks, been driving me up the goddamn wall.
mom in the hospital-mom was getting some sharp pains in her stomach so we went tuesday to the hospital and they admitted her and said they had to remove the gallblader. so they did and she stayed in bed. thursday kim went with me to the hospital to visit her which was nice, i was glad she cared enough to ask to go. mom's nurses were nice except the irish bitch, she was two faced like a muthafucko. she'd be all nice while we were there but then when we left she'd call me and tell me that she seen people in worse condition than her and that they wanted her to get out of the bed. she's lucky i didn't get lose with my mouth like i usually do, i was gonna tell her to shove a pot of gold in her ugly irish ass..kept that one to myself but the shit was, i was doing more for my mother than that bitch did. i should have her paycheck lol then i find out some other bitch left her on the toilet for a half hour, she's lucky she left before i got there cuz i was gonna tell that bitch something to. probably enough to get my ass kicked out lol believe it, i would. i mean shit, if some nurse left your really sick (nearly dying) mother on the fucking pot, what would you do? so no, i'm not overreacting lol well we finally got her out thursday and i've been taking care of her and the kids since.
joey-while kim was with me at the hospital we went to the room next to it, it was a dayroom or whatever and then she decides to call joey just to see what's up with me and him. kim, which i had no idea was doing this, was trying to get us back together because he told her that he loved me..lol yeah...i was like "uh, Kim, i dont know about that, i mean...we didnt make such a good couple, maybe you shouldn't..just leave *ring* him alone, KIM! no! please! i dont wanna! *ring* no! *hello* fuck!" she said something like "when are you gonna call her stepfather so you 2 can get back together *slaps my forehead, oh god no!* and then he says something that surprises me, and depresses me sorta at the same time but of course relieved me. "i got a new girlfriend" i was sorta depressed about that cuz fuck,he got over me quick didn't he? lol wow...i guess i wasn't that special to him. ahh well, i could care less cuz i didnt want him back anyways, i tore up all those pictures, the only place you can find them is the internet now lol *btw i decided not to talk about my love life on livejournal anymore, its not important*
smoking- ok everyone, brace yourselves for this one. i QUIT straight edge, just quit it. i know its crazy, i've been for what...3 years? but my parents, and my brothers, and my horrifying love life and just random shit happening has made me go crazy..i started smoking ciggs thursday when i got home. i can't tell you exactly what made me do this because someone might go to jail but yes its that bad and all i keep hearing is "ciggs relieve stress" so i decided to try it. and muthafuck, it works! i smoked one and during that time i forgot about everything, i actually felt good. i smoked like 4 thursday and 5 friday, mom was coming home so i won't let her find out, i haven't had a whole one since friday so i'm not addicted (i had a hit off one at kim's..newport too,lol)
running away-sunday i ran away from home, which was actually my brothers birthday. i got so upset with him, and he was gonna pull out a knife out on me..and all i was telling him was to go upstairs and sit in the corner for hitting my other brother. i started throwing shit around and yelling and screaming, then i went upstairs and mom was crying and wishing she was dead so i said fuck it..i told her "ya know what, i wish i was dead too" and then walked the fuck out. i went to the park for a bit, then took a walk down the railroad tracks, and saw my stepfather's car going thru that tunnel and said fuck that and turned around and ran back up to the park and sat up on the benches, by then i was thirsty, hungry,sweaty,and tired. there was a water spicket thingy and i was like *thank fuck* but after another hour i saw my mother's car driving around looking for me so i thought it was my stepfather..but then i got worried about mom being all alone at home with those muthafuckos so i started heading home and then the next door's neighbor pulls out and then turns around in front of me and goes back home, which i thought was weird, he was looking for me too..strange, then my stepfather comes down the road with his car and was like "get the fuck in the car, you're lucky i dont kill you right now" and i got smart and said "do it..do me the favor please" and he got stupid and started yelling at me but he didnt have the balls to hit me. then he talks about how joey treated me like shit(he thought i was with him, ya know fucking him and smoking pot), fuck that...compared to his ass joey treated me like gold.got home and found out mom was driving...which she's not supposed to do so it was my fault she got sicker..of course its my fault..everything is. its not my brothers fault for driving me the fuck crazy....its all mine for leaving in the first place before i ended up beating them till they stopped moving. you guys shoulda seen me yelling at joseph for the shit he was doing.your ass woulda left too. he was telling me what to do,throwing chairs and cups at me, calling me a stupid fucking bitch, pulling weapons out on me. and he's fucking 8 years old, fuck that. I nearly had a goddamn heart attack trying to get his stupid ass upstairs. of course i needed to leave. then my stepfather was like "why didn't you just tell mom you were taking a walk" ok lets see, why didn't I? because you fucks never let me go anywhere! because i cant even step out of the fucking gate cuz you assholes think i'm going to go fuck some random guy i find on the streets for 2 dollars. that's another thing, i came home and i was wearing a thick black wife beater and i took the bra off (under my shirt of course) and trashed it cuz it was so fucking hot i was sweating so bad that it was breaking, the little threads were coming off. so he thinks i had sex in the park (with joey or the guy across the street, he said both lol). i never laughed so hard at a stupid suggestion. so i said "yeah, you know what..your'e right. i had sex with a man that picked some bitch over me, some fat ugly overprotecting(you shoulda heard her talk, she was like "he's mine now so stop calling-to kim-) bitch right there in the park and then gave him my bra. HAHA, sure..that'll be the day. that fucko wont ever get to even see me naked, hahahha. he's lucky if he gets the privalege to see my face again. i hope that this shit with this new girl doesn't work out and he calls me like "oh baby, i miss you, lets go back out" and i get to say "oh baby*mocking him*, i dont give a flying fuck...go find another fat bitch hiding in a dark alley half naked asking for 5 bucks for a blowjob, cuz that bitch isn't me" OOOOH, lol shit, i'm mean. ah well, i still blame this all on matthew cuz i can lol..if i knew that shit would last only ten days i woulda stayed with joey but haha of course he promised he would treat me better...word of advice..that's all bullshit!!!!!! i've met more respectful men on the internet. that's pretty fuckin sad...cuz they're probably assholes in real life too lol *shakes head*
schedule-
1st-health assistant I with Lee
5th-US and VA history with Pettit (yay, i like the way she teaches ^_^)
6th English 11AC with Stan Price (yes! i heard he was the best teacher, woohoo!)
7th-into to fashion/mk with Mrs Comer (i only took that cuz she begged me to...but i might drop that and see if i can get a lunch and move history class, ya know? i dont know if i can but i rally dont wanna do makeup and fashion, look at me! do i look like one to care lol
8th-geometry with Graham i have no clue who this is lol but um i guess its cool lol, i always liked shapes lol..i'm kidding, i hate geometry. fuck
my homeroom is Rickard...i dont know who this is either lol
anyone got anything with me?!?! oh please god say yes...i dont wanna be all alone all day! i know noone is taking health assistant so that leaves me alone half the damn day..shit..i'm screwed..i gotta make new friends...damnit..
dreams-i've been having weird dreams about people i used to date just doing random things. like wednesday i had one about me and jordan going to a concert..which freaked me out cuz he actually talked! lol that's a joke..if you knew him you would get it lol then i had one with joey and we went for a walk...but i woke up after a while..cuz that one was a nightmare. then the one i had sunday night was cool. me and brittany went to a restuarant with my parents and my 2 brothers. but this was the funny part..they wouldn't let my family eat lol and i was wondering why and i looked on the door and it had the rainbow flag and me and britt were holding hands lol ^_^ that was great lol then we left and went into some store like hot topic but it was called something else lol *dreams...they're weird huh?* and i bought her a dress, it was really pretty and had hatchetman on the bottom. :) woo lol oh yeah and thursday night i had another one with brittany but i'm not saying what happened cuz that's not for yall's eyes to be reading ;) lol
home interior party?- kim invited me to go with her to her aunt's home interior party wednesday and i finally got my parents to ok it...if you've ever invited me somewhere you know how much of a hassle it is, right tiffany? lol yeah well we got in the car and before we can make it past Page the car breaks down...so we're stuck for about a half hour and then her dad gets there and tries to drive it, he gets passed Page and it shuts off in front of the boat landing...some shit eh? so we're stuck for another half hour until Kim's uncle comes by with the trailor. then we hung out for a while at her house till my stepfather came to pick me up and of course he ran his mouth for about half hour with kim's parents about the car, thinking he was Mr. Fix-it. He offered to let me drive and it's a stick shift...and it took me about 5 minutes to actually U-Turn the son of a bitch. i kept stalling it..now don't you motherfuckers laugh, especially if you never drove a stick shift...its difficult! lol Kim was like "call me if you make it home alive" and i gave up when I reached riverside market...i didnt wanna drive it anymore lol i kept stalling and i didnt wanna piss off the people behind me. i'm sticking to the automatic from now on.
meghann's party-seriously the most fun i've had all summer. i flipping hated summer. there was nothing to do but then Beth comes up to my house and was like "hey, are you going?" and i was like "wtf? lol" then i suddenly remembered it was Meghann's birthday and with all the shit that was going on i had no time to even get her a card...i knew it was her bday but i couldn't get her anything! i felt bad just bringing a card. but ack, next year hopefully i can get her something a million times better but i doubt i can do better than rob thomas tickets, lol but atleast i've have a job. haha we played DDR and i suck horribly at it, ate food and cake, woohoo *made me hyper* and created our own little moshpit and had a pillow fight lol
ok that's all, long entry..was i right? lol i expect comments muthafuckos! I didnt type that just to see if my fingers could fall off ya know!
*edit* also everyone for some reason got new lj screen names so i'm gonna do the same just cuz i dont like this one anymore anyway, when i create it i'll let you know what it is