So, yesterday was my birthday...
(written yesterday night)
Today was my birthday. For some reason, I feel as though I should...reflect on my last year. On why I think... Wow, what a fucked up insane year. Maybe I'm reflecting on last summer, or whats happening now. For whatever reasoning, I am here, trying to define myself as a person, making 'excuses' for the way I think or act... It seems like it has a purpose. Yet, at the same time, feels like a cycle. More like what I should do...
Tomorrow marks the day that I left for California...a whole year...If time can fly by so fast, it must mean I was in stasis for the past year, right? For some or most of it, I must've been. I AM older now, today, but I was older yesterday, and all the days before that. Maybe today was designed, so we'd acknowledge our growth. Our age. Our...proof of existance, I guess. The day everyone tells you you're loved. Thought about. It makes you feel...humanized. To have everyone treat you better today, just because you were born, that they both acknowledge and appreciate your existance, is more than flattering. IT's...one of those words that doesn't exist yet, but conveys ann emotion dead on...
I spent the day with friends and family. We had dinner at the Olive Garden. My little 4 year old cousin came over and hugged me, and sang me happy birthday. I let him blow the one candle on my cake. John got an espresso, which was served in a rooster cup and saucer... my mom is a rooster fanatic... and my pants pockets were so huge, that I asked her if she wanted it. Now she has a little bit of the OG at home.
Jessica, Josh and John both told me, as I was opening my gifts, my cards... they said "Wow...you're family really loves you..." and I thought, You know, I do know that... ... and my friends coming out and feeling awkward around my family... I don't know. It was nice. It surprised me that they came. It really was a good birthday.
Though my mind be garbled and crazy at times, I am loved, and I'm loving me... and I'm also loving my leftovers...
Happy 19th Birthday, Becca