Title: Dreams, Droids, and Red Heads (2/6)
Author:
nicole9514Rating: R
Genre: AU, Fusion w/Star Wars, slash, action, romance
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: violence, death,torture, language
Spoilers: None
A/N: This fic takes place in my recently created Jedi!verse series of fics - where both Dean and Castiel are Jedi - with a forbidden attraction to each other.
Summary: Cas, Dean, and the rest of their group plan their attack on the Droid factory, but Cas's past won't leave him alone.
Word Count: 1,437
New to the series; here's a
Link to the Masterpost "So does this mean were an official member of your little club?” Dean quipped, one eyebrow raised.
Sam raised his own eyebrow. “Let’s call this a test run - see how things go. We don’t kill each other, and I’ll consider it.”
Cas watched the exchange between the two men and smiled.
Sam was correct. While he had helped them, they had never actually worked together in this capacity. It would be interesting to see how events unfolded.
He, Bobby, Dean, Sam, and Anna were preparing to leave for Bendii tomorrow. They were all standing in Bobby’s living area going over their plans.
Sam had a few other members of the movement joining them - they would arrive early in the morning.
They planned to infiltrate the building through stealth, access their computers, download any data that could incriminate the Chancellor, then rig explosives, and take out the threat.
A straightforward plan if they were able to slip in and out unnoticed.
Given their history, Cas doubted it would go smoothly.
As if an army of Dark Jedi weren’t enough to worry about, they now had a droid army tossed into the mix as well.
The Chancellor certainly liked to be prepared.
The amount of manpower he was gathering left little doubt in Castiel’s mind. He planned to launch an all out war against the Republic - perhaps starting with the Jedi. It made sense - take out the biggest threat on Coruscant in one, deadly, surprise attack.
Then he’d overpower any system that refused to join him.
Cas suppressed a shudder - could he really do it?
Wipe out the order.
The image of Ellen’s corpse lying at Roman’s feet swelled up.
Dean leaned in close, his eyes concerned, and he noticed Sam, Anna, and Bobby were all also watching him.
“I’m sorry, did you ask me something?”
Dean grinned. “For once I wasn’t the one spacing out in boring conversations.”
Cas smiled despite his twisting stomach; the events of the past week had left him emotionally drained.
Sam chuckled. “It’s okay. I just asked if you wanted this, just in case?” Sam offered him a blaster.
Cas eyed it, his heart began thudding in his chest. Dean had proven that they had their uses, but the thought of wielding it had his palms sweaty, and he felt his mouth go dry as a memory he was usually able to keep buried surged forward.
Alastair laughed darkly - his eyes burned with fanatic glee as he drug the young woman by the hair into the room.
Cas struggled against his bonds; the metal digging into his wrists, bruising and pinching. He didn’t care.
Not again.
Blood stained his tormentor’s clothing, and the blaster he held at his side kept slapping into his thigh, as he watched the brunette human, try to crawl away.
“Are you watching Castiel?” Alastair bent down, so he was eye level with the Jedi Master, and gripped the girls hair, yanking her up so that Castiel had a perfect view of her tear stained, youthful face.
She couldn’t have been more than sixteen.
A bruise marred her otherwise flawless complexion.
“Leave her alone,” Cas hissed, knowing it was futile. Knowing what was coming.
“Why would I do that?”
“If you want to hurt someone, let it be me.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll play with you later.”
Cas swallowed, a scream building deep within him, as he struggled in vain, helpless to save this poor girl.
Alastair pressed the weapon to her temple, she was begging, sobbing.
He pulled the trigger.
Cas’s eyes burned as the memory caught him off guard - it was insane the little things that could trigger this in him. Dean firing the weapon at Alastair hadn’t affected him in the slightest, now the simple sight of it had him practically on the verge of a panic attack.
His reaction made him feel weak - and idiotic.
Alastair was gone - he needed to stop giving him any power over his life.
He must have looked like hell because Sam jerked the weapon back, and his eyes flooded with concern.
Fingers touched his face; Cas flinched reflexively and Dean pulled back, holding his hands up in an ‘I‘m not going to hurt you gesture.’
He’d done it again - recoiled from the man he loved. He could see the hurt flicker in Dean’s eyes, and it was like a stab to his gut.
Every time he thought he was okay, that he was done being a mess - this happened.
Cas swallowed, felt his cheeks heat up, and cleared his throat, as he breathed. He shoved his dark thoughts down deep. Trying to lock them away again - but they kept slipping through the cracks.
He couldn’t stop himself from wondering when Dean would tire of dealing with his broken boyfriend.
“Sorry,” his voice sounded hoarse, “It’s been a long week.”
Everyone gave him small smiles, except Dean.
“I think I’ll just stick with my lightsaber; I’m more comfortable with it.” Cas wiped at his brow, a thin layer of sweat coated his skin.
“Works for me.” Sam nodded, his expression tinged with kindness and worry.
“I’ve got my own,” Dean said, his tone distracted.
“Why does that not surprise me?” Sam quipped.
Dean finally pulled his gaze away from Cas, but he stayed close, hovering.
Cas normally wouldn’t have minded, but he needed a moment to breathe - to process. The room felt too hot, and he felt the need for fresh air.
He made a beeline for the door, and took huge gulps of cool air, closing the door behind him.
He heard it open a few seconds later, and he knew Dean had followed him.
****
“What happened back there?” Dean asked the moment they were alone outside.
He’d seen that look on Cas’s face before - it was burned into his brain. The night he’d found Cas on Junkfort Station - pale, sweaty, and shaking. The night he’d pulled away from Dean’s touch.
He’d never forgotten his expression; he had been afraid of him.
It had only been a for a few confused, fleeting seconds - but he knew the memory would never fade.
He’d never wanted to see that again.
And today he had.
Cas wasn’t meeting his eyes; he was staring out towards the horizon, his arms crossed over his chest.
A defensive posture.
“It’s nothing,” he whispered. “I’m fine.”
“Bullshit,” he snapped - knowing he should be more patient, but worry always made him stupid and careless with his words.
Cas spun, his eyes angry, and tired. “I don’t want to talk about it now - that’s my right, Dean.”
A spike of hurt flared. It was still a struggle to reach out at times, and having his efforts tossed back into his face stung more than he cared to admit.
“Fine,” he almost snarled.
Cas turned back around, his shoulders tense.
Dean turned to leave; he made it three steps before he did a one-eighty, and his mouth got a mind of its own. “Just so we’re clear - you don‘t want to talk to me and you don‘t want to touch me. Just what the fuck do you want from me?”
Cas jerked as if he’d been punched, and turned slowly towards Dean. His skin was paler; his expression one of hurt, shame, and self-loathing.
Are you ready to run away screaming from the traumatized Jedi Master yet?
Cas’s words the day he’d confided his past - the day he’d told him how afraid he was that Dean wouldn’t want to be involved with someone with his history came surging to the forefront of Dean’s mind.
Still think I’m not damaged?
Cas’s words the night he’d first recoiled from his touch.
You selfish, idiot.
Dean hated himself.
He’d just taken a stab at confirming Cas’s fears that his perceived damage would drive him away.
Dean took a step towards Cas, wishing he could take it back. “I’m sorry, I did-”
Cas held up a hand. “Right now,” his voice trembled. “I want you to leave.”
Deans’ guts seized up; he hated his brain-mouth problem - his reflex to lash out when he was hurt.
Dean nodded, it was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do in his life, but he turned and headed back towards the house.
He glanced behind him as he reached the door; Cas had turned back towards the horizon.
Great job, Dean. You’ve gone and fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to you.
Part 3 A/N: I wanted to wait to post this part until after the holiday as to not upset people on Christmas -(which is why I posted that kinda-sorta christmas fic first) see I can be nice :) But anyway, enough rambling: I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and you all have a great New Year :) Thank you to anyone who's taken the time to comment even once; you guys are what keep me writing.
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :)
Comments are always loved; how else will I know if anyone is actually still reading this series.