Fic: Supernatural: Jedi!Verse: Dean/Castiel: [R] - Not All Open Wounds Bleed
Title: Not All Open Wounds Bleed
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Fusion w/Star Wars, slash, action, romance
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: language
Spoilers: None
A/N: This fic takes place in my Jedi!verse series of fics.
Summary: Castiel helps Dean deal with the aftermath of his confrontation with Sam.
Word Count: 2,264
New to the series; here's a Link to the Masterpost
Cas placed the last dish in the sink, and turned to find Pamela giving him a cryptic smile.
Cas blinked.
“Lets talk handsome,” she quipped, and walked towards a corner of the room that was empty.
Cas sighed, but followed just as he had no doubt she’d known he would.
She leaned against the wall and waited, her relaxed posture, and patient expression put Cas at ease.
This wasn’t easy subject matter to discuss with anyone, let alone someone he’d just met. Yet, his instincts where screaming at him to speak with her.
Cas closed his eyes briefly, gathering himself. He didn’t often allow himself to reflect upon his disturbing visions of the Chancellor standing over Ellen’s body, the temple in ruins, or the screams in the distance.
It wasn’t something he liked to think about.
Pamela’s eyes softened further, and she brushed her hair away from her face. “Take your time.”
Cas nodded, and in a tone barely above a whisper, he told her what he’d seen.
Her expression changed as he spoke, and he could see her skin grow paler.
“You care for her, as does Dean.”
Pam said after he’d finished, his throat felt raw, but he kept his face calm, using the force to hold back the tidal wave of grief that threatened at the possibility of the loss of Master Harvelle.
“Yes,” Cas said simply.
She nodded, and touched his arm, squeezing gently.
“I know you want me to tell you that this means nothing. That it was just a twisted nightmare, but I can’t, and I think you already know that on some level.”
Cas held her gaze, and he nodded once, while he exhaled through his nose.
Her hand fell away, and she suddenly seemed ancient, as she sagged against the wall again.
“I’ve seen similar things,” her voice quavered slightly, “the temple under attack, younglings dying, screams, fire, and at the heart of it all, that son of bitch. Smiling, while his hands are stained with blood.”
Her eyes had flooded with pain, and hate, and the strength of her emotions surprised Cas.
She met his gaze. “We both know a storm is coming Castiel.”
Cas nodded, his stomach clenched, and a weariness enveloped him.
“I know,” he breathed, his eyes panning around the room, searching for Dean. His lover still hadn’t returned, and he was overcome with the need to see him.
Cas clutched his chest, as a sudden sense of panic, and pain hit him with the force of a hyper drive engine.
Pam grabbed his arm, her eyes sad, and wide. “You should go to Dean.”
Cas didn’t need any convincing; he bolted for the door.
*****
Dean heard the door fly open, and he saw Cas step out, their eyes immediately finding each others.
Cas took a few moments to take in the sight of him on his ass, and the way Dean’s cheek was throbbing, he guessed he already had a nasty looking bruise forming.
Dean didn’t mind. He liked the pain; he focused on it.
Physical pain was easy. He could handle that, he would not acknowledge the other pain, the deeper ache, the one that kept sucker punching him in the chest over and over again.
To Cas’s credit, his expression stayed calm, but Dean could feel his love, concern, and worry as he knelt down at his side.
He was picking up on Cas’s emotions more now - sometimes he loved it, sometimes he hated it.
Right now, it was a comfort, and he latched onto it.
Cas was here.
He wasn’t walking away, and Dean was glad he finally believed that.
“Dean,” Cas’s voice was almost a whisper, his hand came to rest on Dean’s shoulder, a reassuring weight that made it easier to breathe.
Dean swallowed, and tried to flash his partner a devil-may-care grin, but his facial muscles refused to cooperate, and all he managed was a twitch of his lips.
Cas’s eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on his cheek.
His gentle fingers touched his aching face, and Dean leaned into the touch and sighed.
Cas was watching his face, the skin around his blue orbs tight, and his lips were pressed into a thin line. Dean knew he had questions, but Cas didn’t push.
He knew Dean better than he knew himself at times.
“Let’s go back to our room,” Cas said, his tone calm, his hand wrapping around Dean’s bicep.
Dean nodded, and allowed Cas to help him to his feet.
*****
Dean sat down on the edge of the bed, and decided going to sleep for a few days sounded like a damn good idea.
Fuck it all.
“Dean,” Cas was watching him again, his stare intense, and focused.
Dean’s mouth went dry.
Pam apparently had a gift for snatching visions of the future up from the universe, but Cas had a gift for staring.
The man could beat a statue.
And every time he and Cas ended up locking eyes, Dean knew the other man was glimpsing another piece of his screwed up soul.
Cas stepped closer, and knelt down in front of him, resting his hands on Dean’s knees, his eyes never broke contact.
Cas didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to, his expressive eyes did all the asking.
He waited, while Dean wrestled with the insanity that was running around in his skull.
Dean opened his mouth, not certain what he was going to say, when the words, “I fucked up babe,” fell from his lips.
His bottom lip quivered, and he sucked in a breath, feeling like a baby, and hating that his eyes were burning.
He was a former freaking Jedi, he was not going to sit here and cry to his boyfriend over this shit.
It was pathetic.
Cas ran his hand, over Dean’s bruised cheek again, caressing it. “Did Sam do this to you?” Cas asked, his tone held traces of anger, which surprised Dean.
Dean managed a cynical laugh. “Yep, I guess I just inspire that kind of violence in people.”
Cas shook his head, his expression a mixture of frustration, and protectiveness. “That’s not true.”
Dean shrugged.
Cas touched the area again, and closed his eyes.
Dean felt the pain begin to recede, a warmth radiated from Cas’s palm, and he realized his lover was healing him.
He didn’t deserve to be healed, he deserved the pain, he wanted the pain.
Dean jerked his head away, and Cas tensed, his eyes flying open, as Dean stood, and moved a few steps away.
“Dean,” he caught traces of hurt in Cas’s eyes, and it stabbed him in the gut, but he didn’t sit back down. “I was only trying to help.”
“I don’t want your help!” he snapped without thinking, his voice doing that pathetic cracking thing again.
Cas stared at him, his adam’s apple bobbed up and down once, then his face went blank.
Dean hated himself.
“Fuck,” he growled, “You know what Sam thought of me, Cas?” Dean forced out, around the lump in this throat.
Cas said nothing, but he was still there, and he was listening.
“He thought I was making it up, thought I was doing this just to fuck with him!” Dean felt sick as the memory of Sam’s words flowed back into him.
Cas blinked a few times, and he swallowed again.
“Is that how people see me…as the kind of asshole that would make something like that up just for shits and giggles?” Dean knew his voice was breaking again.
“Is that how you see me?” Dean hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself.
Cas stared at him, his mask had vanished, and there was open horror there now.
Dean sunk to the floor drained emotionally, and physically. “I’m sorry, Cas,” he breathed, resting his forehead on his knees.
Dean heard soft footfalls, then felt a hand rest on the back of his neck as Cas sat next to him, and began kneading his stiff muscles.
“Look at me,” Cas whispered.
Dean lifted his head, and found bright blue eyes waiting for him, there was no anger there, only love.
“Do you know what I see when I look at you.”
It wasn’t a question - so Dean didn’t answer.
“I see a man who put everything on the line to save me, and my padawan. I see a man who accepted me for who I was, when others never dared to look past the surface. I see a man who defied the Jedi Council to help me take down Alastair.” Cas leaned in, so their foreheads were touching. “And I see the man I love, whom I trust with my life…and my heart.”
Dean didn’t know when exactly he’d stopped breathing, but his lungs were burning. He shuddered as he inhaled deeply, and he wiped at his face, trying to erase that single traitorous tear that had escaped.
“Damn, that’s gonna be a hard act to follow,” Dean managed to inject a speck of his manhood back into his tone, as Cas watched him.
Cas kissed his lips gently, and smiled, not saying anything about the tear, even though Dean knew he’d seen it.
Cas was awesome like that.
“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Cas nudged him with his elbow.
Dean nudged him back, feeling some of the despair, and self-pity recede into the background.
They sat in silence, leaning on each other, their backs pressed against the wall.
“It might help if you told me what all was said,” Cas said carefully, a few minutes later.
Dean told the part of himself that urged him to clam up, and act like he was fine to shut up. The more adult part of him, the part that was learning to trust the man he loved, wanted to talk about this.
It was weird - but in a good way.
Cas listened, his fingers lacing with Deans, as the other man told him everything.
*****
Castiel had good emotional control - but he couldn’t deny that the idea of punching Sam Wesson in the face had occurred to him.
He took calming breaths as he listened, and hated the sadness he saw in Dean’s eyes.
Sam’s reaction, had surprised Cas. He’d known there might have been a bit of a ‘freak out’ as Dean would say, but this, this had been horrible.
And Dean, he could feel the hurt rolling through him in waves as he relived the confrontation.
He squeezed Dean’s fingers, as the other man finished with, “And that’s how you found me.”
Cas took a few moments to process everything.
Dean was watching him, waiting for his thoughts, but he didn’t push.
He had become more patient, which made a surge of pride swell through him.
He was upset with Sam for treating Dean as he had, but on some level he understood the reaction. Sam had tried and failed even with all his contacts to locate his missing brother, how would a former Jedi, who no longer had access to the temple’s records find out this information? And what were the odds that the one of a handful of Jedi that Sam knew, was actually his long lost brother? It had to seem suspicious.
Cas didn’t like it, but he had to try and understand where the younger man was coming from. There was obviously still a lot of unresolved pain and bitterness on Sam’s part. Memories of watching his mother suffer, and grieve, hearing how the order had stolen his brother. While Sam had chosen to trust them, it was still new, and fragile, and they were former Jedi.
Not all scars could be seen, and some wounds took a long time to heal. He knew this better than most.
Perhaps he really should have seen this coming, but despite it all he truly believed, they could reach Sam. And that Sam needed his brother, even if he wasn’t willing to accept it yet.
Cas exhaled, and tried to form his thoughts into words. “I don’t think he really sees you that way Dean.”
Dean laughed darkly.
“I’m serious. I think he was just in shock, and confused - I think if he just gives you the chance to explain how you came upon this information, things will go down a much better path.”
“I don’t think he’s interested in talking, babe.”
Cas tilted his head, and his eyes darkened, and his voice held traces of a growl. “Then we will make him listen.”
Dean’s lips twitched. “I love it when you get all hot and bothered.”
Cas smiled, stood, and offered Dean his hand. “I know.”
His lover took it, and Cas hefted him to his feet.
Dean opened his mouth to speak, when there was a knock at their door.
Castiel, kissed Dean softly on the cheek, then headed to the door. He stretched out his senses searching for the presence on the other side, an old habit from his days undercover, one that had saved his life on one occasion. He felt a mixture of emotions, and swallowed, steeling himself for whatever might happen next.
Cas opened it, and stared into Jessica’s clear, but worried eyes. “Hey, Castiel.”
He inclined his head to her, and managed a soft smile. “Hello.”
She grabbed Sam‘s arm, who had been hovering behind her, not looking happy at all to be here. “I think we all need to talk.”
“I think that would be wise.”
A/N: I know that last one was an evil cliffhanger, so I got this up as quickly as I could. I know, still a cliffhanger, but not quite as bad of one I hope :)
And hopefully i'm not boring anyone with the lack of action lately, but bare with me, I've got a few more things to address then I promise - the main plot will move forward and shit will get real :)
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :)
As always, I love comments - each one makes me smile.
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Fusion w/Star Wars, slash, action, romance
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: language
Spoilers: None
A/N: This fic takes place in my Jedi!verse series of fics.
Summary: Castiel helps Dean deal with the aftermath of his confrontation with Sam.
Word Count: 2,264
New to the series; here's a Link to the Masterpost
Cas placed the last dish in the sink, and turned to find Pamela giving him a cryptic smile.
Cas blinked.
“Lets talk handsome,” she quipped, and walked towards a corner of the room that was empty.
Cas sighed, but followed just as he had no doubt she’d known he would.
She leaned against the wall and waited, her relaxed posture, and patient expression put Cas at ease.
This wasn’t easy subject matter to discuss with anyone, let alone someone he’d just met. Yet, his instincts where screaming at him to speak with her.
Cas closed his eyes briefly, gathering himself. He didn’t often allow himself to reflect upon his disturbing visions of the Chancellor standing over Ellen’s body, the temple in ruins, or the screams in the distance.
It wasn’t something he liked to think about.
Pamela’s eyes softened further, and she brushed her hair away from her face. “Take your time.”
Cas nodded, and in a tone barely above a whisper, he told her what he’d seen.
Her expression changed as he spoke, and he could see her skin grow paler.
“You care for her, as does Dean.”
Pam said after he’d finished, his throat felt raw, but he kept his face calm, using the force to hold back the tidal wave of grief that threatened at the possibility of the loss of Master Harvelle.
“Yes,” Cas said simply.
She nodded, and touched his arm, squeezing gently.
“I know you want me to tell you that this means nothing. That it was just a twisted nightmare, but I can’t, and I think you already know that on some level.”
Cas held her gaze, and he nodded once, while he exhaled through his nose.
Her hand fell away, and she suddenly seemed ancient, as she sagged against the wall again.
“I’ve seen similar things,” her voice quavered slightly, “the temple under attack, younglings dying, screams, fire, and at the heart of it all, that son of bitch. Smiling, while his hands are stained with blood.”
Her eyes had flooded with pain, and hate, and the strength of her emotions surprised Cas.
She met his gaze. “We both know a storm is coming Castiel.”
Cas nodded, his stomach clenched, and a weariness enveloped him.
“I know,” he breathed, his eyes panning around the room, searching for Dean. His lover still hadn’t returned, and he was overcome with the need to see him.
Cas clutched his chest, as a sudden sense of panic, and pain hit him with the force of a hyper drive engine.
Pam grabbed his arm, her eyes sad, and wide. “You should go to Dean.”
Cas didn’t need any convincing; he bolted for the door.
*****
Dean heard the door fly open, and he saw Cas step out, their eyes immediately finding each others.
Cas took a few moments to take in the sight of him on his ass, and the way Dean’s cheek was throbbing, he guessed he already had a nasty looking bruise forming.
Dean didn’t mind. He liked the pain; he focused on it.
Physical pain was easy. He could handle that, he would not acknowledge the other pain, the deeper ache, the one that kept sucker punching him in the chest over and over again.
To Cas’s credit, his expression stayed calm, but Dean could feel his love, concern, and worry as he knelt down at his side.
He was picking up on Cas’s emotions more now - sometimes he loved it, sometimes he hated it.
Right now, it was a comfort, and he latched onto it.
Cas was here.
He wasn’t walking away, and Dean was glad he finally believed that.
“Dean,” Cas’s voice was almost a whisper, his hand came to rest on Dean’s shoulder, a reassuring weight that made it easier to breathe.
Dean swallowed, and tried to flash his partner a devil-may-care grin, but his facial muscles refused to cooperate, and all he managed was a twitch of his lips.
Cas’s eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on his cheek.
His gentle fingers touched his aching face, and Dean leaned into the touch and sighed.
Cas was watching his face, the skin around his blue orbs tight, and his lips were pressed into a thin line. Dean knew he had questions, but Cas didn’t push.
He knew Dean better than he knew himself at times.
“Let’s go back to our room,” Cas said, his tone calm, his hand wrapping around Dean’s bicep.
Dean nodded, and allowed Cas to help him to his feet.
*****
Dean sat down on the edge of the bed, and decided going to sleep for a few days sounded like a damn good idea.
Fuck it all.
“Dean,” Cas was watching him again, his stare intense, and focused.
Dean’s mouth went dry.
Pam apparently had a gift for snatching visions of the future up from the universe, but Cas had a gift for staring.
The man could beat a statue.
And every time he and Cas ended up locking eyes, Dean knew the other man was glimpsing another piece of his screwed up soul.
Cas stepped closer, and knelt down in front of him, resting his hands on Dean’s knees, his eyes never broke contact.
Cas didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to, his expressive eyes did all the asking.
He waited, while Dean wrestled with the insanity that was running around in his skull.
Dean opened his mouth, not certain what he was going to say, when the words, “I fucked up babe,” fell from his lips.
His bottom lip quivered, and he sucked in a breath, feeling like a baby, and hating that his eyes were burning.
He was a former freaking Jedi, he was not going to sit here and cry to his boyfriend over this shit.
It was pathetic.
Cas ran his hand, over Dean’s bruised cheek again, caressing it. “Did Sam do this to you?” Cas asked, his tone held traces of anger, which surprised Dean.
Dean managed a cynical laugh. “Yep, I guess I just inspire that kind of violence in people.”
Cas shook his head, his expression a mixture of frustration, and protectiveness. “That’s not true.”
Dean shrugged.
Cas touched the area again, and closed his eyes.
Dean felt the pain begin to recede, a warmth radiated from Cas’s palm, and he realized his lover was healing him.
He didn’t deserve to be healed, he deserved the pain, he wanted the pain.
Dean jerked his head away, and Cas tensed, his eyes flying open, as Dean stood, and moved a few steps away.
“Dean,” he caught traces of hurt in Cas’s eyes, and it stabbed him in the gut, but he didn’t sit back down. “I was only trying to help.”
“I don’t want your help!” he snapped without thinking, his voice doing that pathetic cracking thing again.
Cas stared at him, his adam’s apple bobbed up and down once, then his face went blank.
Dean hated himself.
“Fuck,” he growled, “You know what Sam thought of me, Cas?” Dean forced out, around the lump in this throat.
Cas said nothing, but he was still there, and he was listening.
“He thought I was making it up, thought I was doing this just to fuck with him!” Dean felt sick as the memory of Sam’s words flowed back into him.
Cas blinked a few times, and he swallowed again.
“Is that how people see me…as the kind of asshole that would make something like that up just for shits and giggles?” Dean knew his voice was breaking again.
“Is that how you see me?” Dean hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself.
Cas stared at him, his mask had vanished, and there was open horror there now.
Dean sunk to the floor drained emotionally, and physically. “I’m sorry, Cas,” he breathed, resting his forehead on his knees.
Dean heard soft footfalls, then felt a hand rest on the back of his neck as Cas sat next to him, and began kneading his stiff muscles.
“Look at me,” Cas whispered.
Dean lifted his head, and found bright blue eyes waiting for him, there was no anger there, only love.
“Do you know what I see when I look at you.”
It wasn’t a question - so Dean didn’t answer.
“I see a man who put everything on the line to save me, and my padawan. I see a man who accepted me for who I was, when others never dared to look past the surface. I see a man who defied the Jedi Council to help me take down Alastair.” Cas leaned in, so their foreheads were touching. “And I see the man I love, whom I trust with my life…and my heart.”
Dean didn’t know when exactly he’d stopped breathing, but his lungs were burning. He shuddered as he inhaled deeply, and he wiped at his face, trying to erase that single traitorous tear that had escaped.
“Damn, that’s gonna be a hard act to follow,” Dean managed to inject a speck of his manhood back into his tone, as Cas watched him.
Cas kissed his lips gently, and smiled, not saying anything about the tear, even though Dean knew he’d seen it.
Cas was awesome like that.
“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Cas nudged him with his elbow.
Dean nudged him back, feeling some of the despair, and self-pity recede into the background.
They sat in silence, leaning on each other, their backs pressed against the wall.
“It might help if you told me what all was said,” Cas said carefully, a few minutes later.
Dean told the part of himself that urged him to clam up, and act like he was fine to shut up. The more adult part of him, the part that was learning to trust the man he loved, wanted to talk about this.
It was weird - but in a good way.
Cas listened, his fingers lacing with Deans, as the other man told him everything.
*****
Castiel had good emotional control - but he couldn’t deny that the idea of punching Sam Wesson in the face had occurred to him.
He took calming breaths as he listened, and hated the sadness he saw in Dean’s eyes.
Sam’s reaction, had surprised Cas. He’d known there might have been a bit of a ‘freak out’ as Dean would say, but this, this had been horrible.
And Dean, he could feel the hurt rolling through him in waves as he relived the confrontation.
He squeezed Dean’s fingers, as the other man finished with, “And that’s how you found me.”
Cas took a few moments to process everything.
Dean was watching him, waiting for his thoughts, but he didn’t push.
He had become more patient, which made a surge of pride swell through him.
He was upset with Sam for treating Dean as he had, but on some level he understood the reaction. Sam had tried and failed even with all his contacts to locate his missing brother, how would a former Jedi, who no longer had access to the temple’s records find out this information? And what were the odds that the one of a handful of Jedi that Sam knew, was actually his long lost brother? It had to seem suspicious.
Cas didn’t like it, but he had to try and understand where the younger man was coming from. There was obviously still a lot of unresolved pain and bitterness on Sam’s part. Memories of watching his mother suffer, and grieve, hearing how the order had stolen his brother. While Sam had chosen to trust them, it was still new, and fragile, and they were former Jedi.
Not all scars could be seen, and some wounds took a long time to heal. He knew this better than most.
Perhaps he really should have seen this coming, but despite it all he truly believed, they could reach Sam. And that Sam needed his brother, even if he wasn’t willing to accept it yet.
Cas exhaled, and tried to form his thoughts into words. “I don’t think he really sees you that way Dean.”
Dean laughed darkly.
“I’m serious. I think he was just in shock, and confused - I think if he just gives you the chance to explain how you came upon this information, things will go down a much better path.”
“I don’t think he’s interested in talking, babe.”
Cas tilted his head, and his eyes darkened, and his voice held traces of a growl. “Then we will make him listen.”
Dean’s lips twitched. “I love it when you get all hot and bothered.”
Cas smiled, stood, and offered Dean his hand. “I know.”
His lover took it, and Cas hefted him to his feet.
Dean opened his mouth to speak, when there was a knock at their door.
Castiel, kissed Dean softly on the cheek, then headed to the door. He stretched out his senses searching for the presence on the other side, an old habit from his days undercover, one that had saved his life on one occasion. He felt a mixture of emotions, and swallowed, steeling himself for whatever might happen next.
Cas opened it, and stared into Jessica’s clear, but worried eyes. “Hey, Castiel.”
He inclined his head to her, and managed a soft smile. “Hello.”
She grabbed Sam‘s arm, who had been hovering behind her, not looking happy at all to be here. “I think we all need to talk.”
“I think that would be wise.”
A/N: I know that last one was an evil cliffhanger, so I got this up as quickly as I could. I know, still a cliffhanger, but not quite as bad of one I hope :)
And hopefully i'm not boring anyone with the lack of action lately, but bare with me, I've got a few more things to address then I promise - the main plot will move forward and shit will get real :)
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :)
As always, I love comments - each one makes me smile.