So late...
I'm writing in a notebook as a journal...when i am done, does anybody want to have it or read it? if so leave a comment on this entry!
-note i won't be on tomorrow that much cuz my parents say i need to get away from the computer-
you know who is who...if not. Corps is Matt(not real sn) and Morbid is mine(again not real sn)
MoRbId: YAY UR BACK!
Corps: yes I am!
MoRbId: it was more than a brb it was like bbl
MoRbId: lol
Corps: lol did I have the brb up or the jesus one?
MoRbId: Jesus one but u told me brb
Corps: oooooh I did didn't I lol well brb turned to.. lets go out to eat... to lets go visit gramps.. to do your jobs too.. walk the dog.. to clean out the vacume.. to.. me sitting here hot and sweaty
MoRbId: ooo sexy lol
Corps: lol
MoRbId: I'm sitting here....in boxers and a tank top...and really really
bored
Corps: aha! boxers eh?
MoRbId: yesum
Corps: ahh kewl
Corps: I'm still in me sch00l outfit
MoRbId: i was then i got home changed into pants...went to friends house and chilled....then came home and was like fuck this and I changed
Corps: coo coo
MoRbId: TO MANY PEOPLE IMING ME.
Corps: But I'm the only cool one
MoRbId: lol yea pretty much
Corps: lol
Corps: *flexes*
MoRbId: lol amazing!
Corps: lol
Corps: I know isn't it?
MoRbId: lol yea
Corps: lol
Corps: *sits here sweating.. listening to the new Nymphetamine cd that isn't
out yet... neener neener
MoRbId: -sits here in her boxers....listening to Slipknot and talking to
like a thousand people online-
MoRbId: yea
MoRbId: agrh wrong window!
Corps: lol
Corps: fun fun fun
MoRbId: I'm just soo fucking damn popular.
Corps: oooh I know.... *bows down*
MoRbId: hehe!!! yay!
MoRbId: I got bow down too.
Corps: lol is it just me or does your little red head friend from gym glare at me today
MoRbId: idk...i wasn't paying attention.
Corps: lol
MoRbId: i was like all fucked up
Corps: yeah I noticed... your hair was like in ponytails lol
MoRbId: yea
MoRbId: i got bored this morning
Corps: lol I see
MoRbId: and i had to bring back t memories of my Pipster days
MoRbId: the*
Corps: I didn't fucking see you in your skirt lol
MoRbId: haha sucks to be u
MoRbId: it was hott
Corps: lol
Corps: *cries*
MoRbId: its like alll chains and shit
MoRbId: I'll wear it again...don't worry
Corps: good lol
MoRbId: i can't wear the skirt I wanna wear though
Corps: I'm listening to this band that my dad told me about from like the 80's called the fug's and some of the songs are called like boob's a lot I feel like
homemade shit lol they're awesome
MoRbId: lol
Corps: lol
MoRbId: I like this one 80's band
MoRbId: Dead or Alive
MoRbId: hehe
Corps: awesome
MoRbId: Yea, they're gay guys...but they're good
MoRbId: lol
Corps: LOL
MoRbId: What?!?! They're technoish
Corps: ahh
Corps: techno gay people.. gotta love it
MoRbId: i know
Corps: lol
MoRbId: wow that was a long ass journal entry
Corps: what was?
MoRbId: this entry in my LJ i wrote today
Corps: lol... this is fucking awesome ... you gotta listen to this
MoRbId: oh god
Corps wants to send file fugs - exorcising the evil spirits.mp3.
Corps: lol
MoRbId: now, this is how i get all my songs on my computer...lol
Corps: it's fucking halarious... they're calling evil spirits... in the name of the sheriff.. in the name of our first president
MoRbId received C:\Documents and Settings\******\My
Documents\download\morbid\fugs - exorcising the evil spirits.mp3.
MoRbId: jesus what have I gotten myself into
Corps: lol
MoRbId: lol
MoRbId: interesting
Corps: lol yeah
MoRbId: -puts my song back on- yes that was really gay
Corps: lol I liked it.. in the name of all the soldiers who died in wars that they
don't comprehend
MoRbId: http://www.livejournal.com/users/bleedingrazors/ my sexy
journal
Corps: oooooh keewwwwlll
MoRbId: I find it bullshit that we are mature enough to go to war when we are 18 but we can't drink when we are 18
MoRbId: that's fucked up
Corps: I know sesiously
MoRbId: My dad and I got in a fight bout it the other day
MoRbId: I won :-)
MoRbId: wow, there is a lot shit in my journal that you are going to find out...wow.
MoRbId: hehe my rants...wow...
Corps: lol yeah I know this whole thing with Billi is bothering you.. I dunno
what to say really I mean it's not like I hate you or don't like you ... I do.. and I care about you.. and even though we hardly talk really and haven't known each other long.. I care about you
MoRbId: okay ur going to see this thingy that says "Fine Again" don't click it.
Corps: ok
MoRbId: unless you want to see blood
MoRbId: well, my blood
MoRbId: there's a shit load of things in there...that I just can't go and tell someone...
Corps: yeah I know
MoRbId: Wow, I'm such a bitch....
Corps: no you're not
MoRbId: read that journal and you will see what i really am
Corps: yeah I can see... god I really feel bad for some reason :-(
MoRbId: Don't be...
Corps: :-\
MoRbId: I'm a slut too...wow...I really hate myself now...
Corps: DON'T SAY THAT seriously.. you're not..
MoRbId: I made out with this kid at the taste that i didn't even know...all i knew was he was a singer of this band.
Corps: I don't care... that doesn't make you a slut to me
MoRbId: -sighs-
Corps: -pats ya on the head- tis ok
MoRbId: No, its not.
Corps: Don't be so down on yourself.. there are people in this world that care about you
MoRbId: Yes, and I want them to stop
Corps: why?
MoRbId: Because, I'm not worth it.
Corps: yes you are, I don't give 2 fucking shits what other people say or what you've fucking done to yourself.. you're worth it to me, and I DO care what you do to yourself, and you ARE worth it to me
MoRbId: I don't want to be worth it....I hate how people care...it's
pointless.
Corps: *sigh*
MoRbId: I'll say I'm going to stop cutting
MoRbId: But I never do.
Corps: well that's something that you'll have to deal with there's nothing I can do stop you from doing that. i can see it.. and I KNOW what's going on here with me and Billi has caused some of the shit that's going on here... and I don't want it to be that way. I'm serious. I don't want you to be upset.. you might you're not but you are. I know you are.
MoRbId: No matter what you 2 do...I'm not going to be happy and all jolly...I never am..I just want people to stop caring about me...and start caring about someone else...I just feel as if i'm worthless....i can give you nothing and I know Billi can give you loads more than I can. I'm not a happy person to be around....
MoRbId: I drag people down as i fall.
Corps: I don't care how you feel about yourself.. I dn't care if you say you don't want people to care about you.. I don't care what you say... but what you do effects me.. I care about wht you do to yourself.. and how you feel. And nothing you say is going to change that
MoRbId: I know that no matter what I do...there are going to be a few people that will care until I die...and I can deal with that...I'm upset with Billi yet I'm happy for her...she's found someone...and I know what she can give...I've been her friend for years...and she's been through almost everything with me...and I just think she deserves you more than I deserve you...and maybe she is right...maybe you two are meant to be...but the only thing I hate is seeing you too together....i just can't stand it...I turn away..or close my eyes....or try to ignore it...I care for her...she's like my sister...I care for you too. My friends are like the only reason why I am still here today. If it wasn't for them I probably would have been dead long time ago.
Corps: Yeah, I can totally understand how you feel. I feel sorta bad myself cause I know that both of you like me.. I'm sorta stuck in the middle here. I don't want to hurt any of you. I don't want your friendships to end because of me
MoRbId: Lately...I've been nice to her...and she'll shove her hand in my face that says I Love Matt...or start talking bout you or rub it in my face and I'll get up from the table and talk to my other friends...and I'm like why is she doing this to me....and she's telling everyone I'm being a bitch to her...and I just want to tell myself to get up, walk away and move on....and i've been telling myself that for a while...and my brain is rejecting the thought.
Corps: she shouldn't be doing that. She should know that you have feelings towards me.. I don't know why she's doing that.
MoRbId: Its because I have had like a shit load of guys always like me and say i'm hott and shit and she's finally found someone near her...who likes her and she knows that I like you and she knows that she has you....and I'm for once...the single one in my group of friends...and she's always the one left out...and today I at lunch I said outloud...I'm alone...now i can die happy and no one said anything after that...and she knows that I told her when I'm all alone...I will kill myself...she known since forever...and I don't know why she is tearing me apart like she is
Corps: I don't either... she shouldn't be doing that... you two really need to just try to work shit out here.. just talk to each other, and tell her what's on your mind. maybe she'll listen
MoRbId: I've tried to talk her and she'll start going on about how happy she is and talk about you...and i just walk away...
Corps: I'm sorry she's being like that... she really does seem to be sorta pushing it in your face.. I dunno what to do :-(
MoRbId: She knows I'll get fed up and smack her...I've done with before...ansd she's finally knew she was crossing the line
Corps: so has she stopped?
MoRbId: Not yet....I haven't smacked her...I probably will..........and when I do smack her...she'll know she crossed a line. She's done this to me before...and one day i just walked up to her smacked her and told her to get some fucking sense and the next day we were fine
Corps: well that's good.. I mean I really really dont want to hurt this friendship
MoRbId: Well, I'm really tired...and I'm like crying...so I'm gonna lay down...so I'll talk to you tomorrow or whenever.
MoRbId: plus my dad is yelling at me
Corps: ok.. just don't do anything .. stupid
MoRbId: i won't
Corps: ok
MoRbId: Night
Corps: night
I wanted to say 'I love you' but I just couldn't type the words in and click send.