Comments | bleedingworship: A gender-related question...

bleedingworship

A gender-related question...

May 23, 2007 11:36

Yesterday I had an amazing conversation with my dearest friend. In the conversation we ended up discussing a subject matter that she had had in class a few days before. The question was presented; Why do women change their names when they get married ( Read more... )

Comments 6

jeney May 23 2007, 17:43:18 UTC

i just did it because ... well, just because. i didn't consider not doing it. i think it's sort of like how when someone calls me "baby" or "sugar" it doesn't bother me. me taking a last name, someone calling me "honey"...have no effect on me. they change nothing about who i am. i guess i see things like that as external. "out there". the only things i really ever consider for longer than a moment are the internal things.

if i kept my maiden name, i'd give it just as much thought. which is - none, really. although, i will say, it makes it much easier than having to hyphenate all my kids' names.

bleedingworship May 24 2007, 13:42:01 UTC

i hear what you're saying. and in truth, i've always just thought, "well - ya, i'll take my husbands last name." but if we really stop and think about it, isn't that a little...um...weird that we still do it considering it originated because women HAD no identity and were property of men. (fathers, then husbands)? i guess i'm just wondering, what messages are we sending to our daughters?

jeney May 24 2007, 14:34:16 UTC

i don't believe i'm sending any message to my daughters by having the same last name as their father. if i had to find a message, it would be that we are a single unit. that i love him and am proud to be identified with him. i don't feel that i have to make a stand in regards to my last name, as there is nothing to stand against. he's never treated me like property. we don't operate in the "one of us has to be the leader" role. we're partners, not master and servant ( ... )

bleedingworship May 24 2007, 16:36:16 UTC

the unity thing is certainly an interesting way to look at it. i don't think it's the only way to show unification, but i do think having the same last name shows an important aspect of what it means to be one ( ... )

(The comment has been removed)

bleedingworship May 24 2007, 13:39:09 UTC

But isn't it a LITTLE odd in this day and age, that men are the only ones that can "carry on the legacy." I mean, what are we saying to our daughters?
If you reversed it, and you were the one to "give up" your last name, be essentially changed in identity, how would you feel?

jeney May 24 2007, 14:34:44 UTC

we carry on legacies, too. we have babies. :D