I was just told by someone that i love and admire,
Someone that i will always view as my family, my sister.
That i am a bad person.

And i can't help but believe her.

Fuck.
Guess i truly am a failure.

Second day of soberness...kinda.
But I'm sick so it hasn't helped out to much.

It's good though cause i need so time to sit and think.
Or more lay around all day watching tv.
I hate being sick.

A change in me tonight.

And who am i kidding.
Your one of the few things that makes me really happy.

I'm think my new year's resolution might not work out,
But my brain is turing into mush.
And i kinda like my brain.

Oh and chico sucks. Love the people.
We all need to make some "some-mores" around a fire.

But for you,
I don't really give a fuck.
Sadly enough.

I just took my first gulp of wine which will make the rest of my evening ( Read more... )

My feet have hit the ground.
But for a really odd reason.

I'm intensely happy.

Home was so good. It was just great to see my parents and not worry about life for a two days or so.
And yet i thought of you.
And her.
But now i don't even want to try.

"I might not be dead, but the regrets are killing me."

I have forgotten,
what i figured out my senior year in high school.

That all we can hope for is a slow push out to sea.
I'm far from being Simon.

"And that, I think, was the handle - -that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting - -on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than ( Read more... )

I feel a change in the winds.
Or more myself.

Thank God.

I can't wait. For better or worse.

I don't really know who i am anymore ( Read more... )