UGLY
it's 4 AM and i don't feel like sleepin
this happens a lot
every night
shitfuck
~~
!!!
i am having a self-loathing /ugliness party!
it all started when i was thinking about what the fuck to do with my hair.
you see, it's just stupid right now. it's almost been a year since it's been cut, though i trim the ends all the time, i'm so sick of it, and supposedly trimming helps it grow faster. see, if it were at least super-long one-length hair , then i could do something like thin it out and straighten it. 'cause it's much too thick and much too stupidstraight/"wavywhenifeellikebeingextrastupid" hair.
what a stupid bitch.
yesterday i just put braids in and then the resultant waviness was cute-like, but all in all this sucks.
and the colour is annoying too. there are still random black tips, and the dark brown roots, and the weird shades of brown/red/orange all over the rest. wtf is this.
most people's hair grows from one central swirl in their head, right? kind of. but you know, your crown or whatever it's called. well i have TWO of those. and they're on the corners of my head, so basically i look like a cube.
so no hairstyle can ever look good on me ever.
EVER.
not only that, but like i said my hair does stupid shit; unlike years ago when it was decidedly straightstraightstraight! and shiny~ and i was in control of it. well no longer.
and not only this, but
i can't even cut my hair in any way whatsoever because
i have an ugly face, see.
pretty people can do whatever they want with their hair,
but i am so fucking ugly
that i should just do the COUSIN ITTTTTT STYLE.
seriously.
and i try looking up ideas for haircuts but they all are not what i am looking for because the models are either pretty and can rock the hairstyle, or the hairstyles suck. becuase the people sporting them are ugly too so it follows...
and! some article said i shouldn't hide behind long hair.
BUT GUESS WHAT BITCH - the only people accused of "hiding" behind long hair are -- UGLY PEOPLE. you don't say anything about pretty bitches with long hair.
and then they give me even more of a complex in this article by saying how short hair creates the illusion that you're taller. GEE THANKS LIKE I'M NOT TALL ENOUGH ALREADY.
and then they say BE CAREFUL HOW THE HAIR FRAMES YOUR FACE SO YOU DON'T ATTRACT ATTENTION TO UNPRETTY PARTS OF YOUR FACE.
but WHAT IF MY WHOLE FACE IS UNPRETTY? WHERE IS HTE HAIR SUPPOSED TO FALL?? WHAT'S IT SUPPOSED TO FRAME?
owaeihrsioghoiuhdowitjuweoijuewoijtuwoietjuoisdjlsjoiewuotijsldij
so really i'm so ugly and need a nosejob and a hair transplant and a skin transplant.
i think i'll go break my nose somehow to give me an excuse for a new one.
then i'll shave off my hair and get a wig of (real!) much better hair.
and as for my skin... skin transplants can't really be done very well, so... i dunno. i'll just wear ten pounds of makeup and be even more disgusting.
and i'll get a foot transplant while i'm at it.
also i'll change my leg bones to make me shorter. that's possible right?
liposuctions to finish it offff....
maybe a little facelift as i already seem to be getting wrinkles.
yeah i'm pretty much just disgusting.
and all this over a hair dilemma.
all this springs from the complexes and neuroses and phobias that bitches have given me over the years - bitches who just can't cut my hair well.
only romana can.
but she lives in illinois so FUCK.
even if i decided on how to cut my hair - WHO in the FUCKING WORLD could actually DO IT RIGHT?
enough of this .
i'm peacin'~
p.s. Excuse the stupid rant. it was only for a moment. it tried.
this happens a lot
every night
shitfuck
~~
!!!
i am having a self-loathing /ugliness party!
it all started when i was thinking about what the fuck to do with my hair.
you see, it's just stupid right now. it's almost been a year since it's been cut, though i trim the ends all the time, i'm so sick of it, and supposedly trimming helps it grow faster. see, if it were at least super-long one-length hair , then i could do something like thin it out and straighten it. 'cause it's much too thick and much too stupidstraight/"wavywhenifeellikebeingextrastupid" hair.
what a stupid bitch.
yesterday i just put braids in and then the resultant waviness was cute-like, but all in all this sucks.
and the colour is annoying too. there are still random black tips, and the dark brown roots, and the weird shades of brown/red/orange all over the rest. wtf is this.
most people's hair grows from one central swirl in their head, right? kind of. but you know, your crown or whatever it's called. well i have TWO of those. and they're on the corners of my head, so basically i look like a cube.
so no hairstyle can ever look good on me ever.
EVER.
not only that, but like i said my hair does stupid shit; unlike years ago when it was decidedly straightstraightstraight! and shiny~ and i was in control of it. well no longer.
and not only this, but
i can't even cut my hair in any way whatsoever because
i have an ugly face, see.
pretty people can do whatever they want with their hair,
but i am so fucking ugly
that i should just do the COUSIN ITTTTTT STYLE.
seriously.
and i try looking up ideas for haircuts but they all are not what i am looking for because the models are either pretty and can rock the hairstyle, or the hairstyles suck. becuase the people sporting them are ugly too so it follows...
and! some article said i shouldn't hide behind long hair.
BUT GUESS WHAT BITCH - the only people accused of "hiding" behind long hair are -- UGLY PEOPLE. you don't say anything about pretty bitches with long hair.
and then they give me even more of a complex in this article by saying how short hair creates the illusion that you're taller. GEE THANKS LIKE I'M NOT TALL ENOUGH ALREADY.
and then they say BE CAREFUL HOW THE HAIR FRAMES YOUR FACE SO YOU DON'T ATTRACT ATTENTION TO UNPRETTY PARTS OF YOUR FACE.
but WHAT IF MY WHOLE FACE IS UNPRETTY? WHERE IS HTE HAIR SUPPOSED TO FALL?? WHAT'S IT SUPPOSED TO FRAME?
owaeihrsioghoiuhdowitjuweoijuewoijtuwoietjuoisdjlsjoiewuotijsldij
so really i'm so ugly and need a nosejob and a hair transplant and a skin transplant.
i think i'll go break my nose somehow to give me an excuse for a new one.
then i'll shave off my hair and get a wig of (real!) much better hair.
and as for my skin... skin transplants can't really be done very well, so... i dunno. i'll just wear ten pounds of makeup and be even more disgusting.
and i'll get a foot transplant while i'm at it.
also i'll change my leg bones to make me shorter. that's possible right?
liposuctions to finish it offff....
maybe a little facelift as i already seem to be getting wrinkles.
yeah i'm pretty much just disgusting.
and all this over a hair dilemma.
all this springs from the complexes and neuroses and phobias that bitches have given me over the years - bitches who just can't cut my hair well.
only romana can.
but she lives in illinois so FUCK.
even if i decided on how to cut my hair - WHO in the FUCKING WORLD could actually DO IT RIGHT?
enough of this .
i'm peacin'~
p.s. Excuse the stupid rant. it was only for a moment. it tried.