For the past few weeks ive had a list of things a mile long that i had to do. Its like when you move to another house. you know that you have a lot of work to do but you can handle it. then once you have everything packed up and your moving things from one house to the other your whole life just dosent work for a few days. youve packed up most ( Read more... )

you know that feeling you get when your heart is broken. when you hear news that just.. well.. breaks your heart. thats how i feel right now. only there is no real reason for it. ive been really stressed out the past week or two. it just seems like all the problems i have right now i have no control over, and i hate that. like my car, its in my g- ( Read more... )

as much as i try, my thoughts just arent with me right now. i really dont think im going to be able to produce a very good entry. i mean, if it starts out like that its bound to be crap. hell.. why even bother with the rest.

as much as i try, my thoughts just arent with me right now. i really dont think im going to be able to produce a very good entry. i mean, if it starts out like that its bound to be crap. hell.. why even bother with the rest.

im on the brink of young adulthood. October 26th is my last day of being a teenager in this life. That makes me sad. What the fuck have i been doing for 19 years? Every year i have another panic attack and every year the day after is the same as the day before. Although this has been the case 100% of the time up until now, I have a feeling that ( Read more... )

today was a bit of a waste but i think thats a good thing this time. i got a lot done even though to most people the tasks would seem trivial. to me they are all day affairs so..there. things have been funny, its hard to explain how but they have. everyone is old. im old. my whole theory of ignore time and it will go away is not working at all. i ( Read more... )

its kind of funny the way you sped off like that. i guess history does have a way of repeating itself. that other chick jessica did that once. for a different reason mind you... but just as stupid. you see i said "goodnight" i said "i love you" but i guess you dident hear me. you just decided to make a fool of yourself in front of my parents, ( Read more... )

you know your tired when you just decide to update your journal on a whim and start writing a story about how wonderful the wind is.

so yeah,.. what can i say. im alive and stuff.

there is no way for me to get across the way i feel in words. my mind is going too many directions for me to follow. its a wonder that im still able to form something of a train of thought. in some ways i feel exactly like im 15 again. which is good in that horrible horrible way. the rest of me feels like im 39. which in retrospect sounds exactly ( Read more... )

few days off... me want go have fun... me go have fun now... chainsaw.

i feel really rushed anymore.. which isent bad.. id much rather feel rushed than bored. although it does get old. i just wish i felt like i was 19, and not 39.