English class has me thinking again. The class was given the assignment of writing a "This I Believe" essay. And I questioned myself for a while. I thought over it. I sat on the subject and let the question, "what do I believe", rattle around in my brain for a few days. Nothing surfaced. I eventually wrote an essay on the pressure parents put ( Read more... )

A year has taken me into one's heart. Out. Into another's. Out. And into the first again. I've done things I never thought I would do. And in one year alone my personality has completely changed, my passions unimpassioned, and all completely torn limb from limb.

This year I hope for happiness.
I'll do whatever it takes to be happy. I need learn that ( Read more... )

    These broken words pour out in beautiful sentences. The truth is, I'm confused. The truth is, I'm horribly hurt. It's taken till this very moment to see the distance between you and I. This very gap is what I see when I look into your eyes. You're not the girl that I was so fond of. Sorry, but I've lost my best friend. You've "grown up", you've ( Read more... )

    I feel as though I should put all my problems down on paper - or rather my handy dandy word processor. I worry so much on what my loved ones think of me. I worry if I am not going live up to the expectations of the ones around me. Shiloh and I used to be best friends. More than best, we always talked about what we'd do together when our lives ( Read more... )

    Your figure presses softly into the spring mattress. My figure presses just as softly beside yours. Our eyes meet and I chuckle a bit. You laugh in return and question my laughter with a flirty annoyance ( Read more... )

Too beautiful to capture.
Too beautiful to write about.
My words are tangled and torn.
Damn, Baby.
It's all I can say.

Pound on my chest. Your fists in balls, slam again on my rib cage. "Breathe dammit, breathe!" You'll scream these words, simply because it's the only phrase your mind can grasp in this moment of sudden panic. I've been out for far too long. My eyes won't roll into their initial place. I'm loosing color. And my heart has stopped.

Oportunites lay in front of my eyes. I'm going to take them. I'm going to let loose, and have a little fun.
These are the best years of my life. I'm going to make them years to remember.
No strings attached.
This is a ride, these years, might as well enjoy it.

My life is slowly coming together, and every time it does, I have to become a crutch for my family. My success will be trampled my their failures. I don't know if this is necessarily true, but it's the way I feel. I don't want to help, and I'm not interested in the common good of the family. Call me selfish, I've only learned by example. My mother ( Read more... )

    All has crumbled. This monument that was my life has shattered in my very hands.
    It never was so great, seeing it's many flaws.
    I guess not.
    In this crumbled, broken mess I lay in the shower, sulking in my memories, my face vacant of expression. The porcelain tub is cold against my back, but the contrasting heat from the shower sends ( Read more... )