[Fan Fic] Fragments - Chapter 4
Title: Fragments
Author: blinkbling24
Pairing: Akame, Kokame
Genre: Angst, Romance, Smut
Rating: NC-17 (As there will be smut in subsequent chapters)
Disclaimer: I obviously don’t own them, because if I did, this fic would be in video instead of just words.
Warning: Fic is unbeta-ed, so please excuse the grammer/spelling mistakes, if any.
Summary: In life and love, you can’t have everything that you want, or can you?
A/N: This is my first multi-chaptered fic. I don’t know how long this will be yet. I’ll see how it goes as I write. This story is set in the near future, but will go back to the past and play around with the timeline quite a bit, and it might get a little messy. I’ll try to be as faithful to the timeline as possible, but my memory might not serve me well, and I might just change things a bit and add a few imaginary dates, using my creative license.
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Chapter 4
Early May 2007
There was something pressing on Jin’s heart, even when he was in LA. He went away to escape the budding feeling that he hoped to nip, but while he was away, going through experiences that were totally new to him, it dawned on him that no matter how far he ran, he could not shirk off something that was ready to bloom. When he was in LA, he would see new things, hear new sounds, and as time progressed, he began to wish that someone was there to experience all those sights and sounds with him, and that someone was Kame.
Jin found himself remembering more and more, the times he and Kame shared in the past, and he relished in those memories that would always leave a smile on his face. It was the memories that spurred him on during the hardest of days. Ever since he was 14, Kame was constantly by his side, and Jin had come to a revelation that he needed Kame to feel whole. He did not admit this to Johnny-san, but Kame was a key motivation, admittedly among other things, that called him back to Japan.
But, the Kame today was an enigma to Jin. His coldness in New York shocked him, his warmness in the initial days of his return was not as comforting as before. And now, as Jin tried to listen to the younger man that was sitting across of him, Kame’s maturity and professionalism made him seem unreachable.
***
“Kamenashi-kun?”
“Manager-san?”
“We need to get Akanishi-kun up to speed with all the songs as there are instructions from the top that he should join in the concert bit by bit, and eventually perform the full show by the Tokyo Dome concerts where recordings for the DVD will be done.”
“What’s that got to do with me?”
“You’re the one that knows the ins and outs of the choreography and songs best, so schedule some tutorial sessions for him.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. And while you’re at it, brief him on Cartoon KAT-TUN. His return episode will be recorded in 4 days time.”
That was how Kame winded up seeing Jin everyday after the Sendai concert appearance. Kame patiently took Jin through all the songs and tried his best not to yell at him when he could not remember the lyrics of even Harukana Yakusoku. Kame walked Jin through the choreography, hissing inwardly at Jin’s inability to follow simple instructions well.
But Jin being Jin, with his natural charm, could get away with a lot of things. And when Jin smirked his signature smirk after yet another mistake, all Kame could do was to take a deep breath and plaster a smile on his face, just like what he always did all those years ago.
***
The day was going particularly well, Jin thought. Kame only rolled his eyes at him twice in the last 8 hours. It was a good sign. Jin had spent the past 2 hours, while Kame was rambling on about Cartoon KAT-TUN’s production format, trying to ascertain if the old Kame was still in there somewhere.
The more time Kame spent with Jin, the more he let his guard down. It almost seemed like they were teenagers again, but still, Kame kept up with the professionalism. He had worked too hard for too long to let everything go to pieces from a simple, charming smile.
Jin spied the familiar innocent glint in Kame’s eyes more than a couple of times, and Jin toyed with the thought of engaging Kame in a conversation that was not about work, something that they had not done since his return.
“Jin? Are you listening to me?”
“Yeah…kinda. Actually Kame, you don’t have to do this. I know the procedures like clockwork. I’ve been doing this a long time.”
“Yes, but Jin. Things change. The way things are done, KAT-TUN, you, and I, have changed.”
Kame’s voice came out strained as he looked down at the draft script in front of him.
“Have I changed that much?” Jin ventured to ask.
Kame clasped his hands together and brought his eyes up to meet Jin. “Yes, you have. But for the better. You’ve matured, Jin, and it shows.” Kame smiled.
“You’ve done a bit of growing up too, you know.”
“Well, I didn’t have a choice, did I?” Kame’s words were accompanied by a shot of bitterness in his eyes.
Jin winced. He was beginning to regret his move.
Kame collected himself. It was not worth having an argument with Jin about what was in the past.
“Sorry, Jin. It came out wrong. I’m glad you’re back, truly, I am.”
Jin nodded and searched for something in Kame’s eyes that conveyed that it was alright. He had to look hard, but he saw a little something, and that gave him the courage to say, “Kame, after this, can we go someplace. I have something I want you to know.”
Maybe it was time Jin knew. “Alright. My place. I have something to tell you too.”
***
There would never be a good time, Jin kept telling himself as he drove his own car closely behind Kame’s. It was now or never, Jin repeated over and over in his head. He did not know why he was so nervous. It was not as though he was going to make a grand declaration of love, he was not even sure that it was love. He just wanted to tell Kame his feelings, in hope that there were some of the same feelings on Kame’s end. Jin thought that maybe by speaking out, it would break the ice that seemed to have formed between them.
Kame’s knuckles turned white as he clenched his steering wheel a little too tightly. He knew that if he were to let Jin know what he was about to tell him, it would change things forever. There was no going back. Kame did not want to feel numb anymore, he was getting sick and tired of it.
There was silence as they traveled in the elevator, both trying to compose their words to each other, except that perhaps Kame had it a little easier. All he needed to do was to open the door.
“Come in, Jin.”
“Wow, you’ve redecorated. I didn’t know you were the sort to hang a disco ball from your living room ceiling,” Jin grinned at Kame, but Kame could not bring himself to grin back.
“Well, I didn’t redecorate by myself…..you want a drink?” Kame avoided Jin’s eyes as he moved to the kitchenette. Kame’s sensitivity to the sounds of his own home told him that the shower tap had just been turned off. He braced himself.
“Sure, you’ve got beer?” Jin settled himself on the sofa.
Kame nodded and buried his head in the refrigerator.
“Kame….” Jin began, when Kame finally walked over with 2 cans in his hands, “you know….in LA…..I had time to think….and….feelings…..”Jin stammered, suddenly incoherent.
Kame stopped in his tracks when he heard to word “feelings” leave Jin’s lips. What was Jin trying to say? He looked at Jin who was twitching nervously, and Kame began to think that it might not have been a good idea to have brought Jin home.
Jin searched Kame’s expression for encouragement, but all he saw was tension.
“Kame….I…..”
“JIN!”
Kame closed his eyes for a second, acknowledging the tipping of the scale. He then put the beer cans onto the coffee table and turned towards the person who was standing at the doorway of the bedroom with only his boxers on.
“Koki? What are you doing here?” Jin asked, and Kame’s stomach twisted a little at the look of confusion on Jin’s face.
“Koki lives here, Jin,” Kame said in a soft voice.
“Since when? Koki, what was wrong with your previous apartment?” Jin looked from one man to another, not understanding why they both looked so solemn.
Jin watched as Kame walked towards Koki. He watched as Koki gave Kame a soft, tender smile. He watched as Kame pecked Koki on the lips. But he did not want to believe it. It could not be real. It simply could not!
“I..I suddenly remembered, I’m meeting Yamapi for dd..d.drinks,” Jin stood up abruptly and walked towards the main door.
“Jin, wait. Stay a while. We’ll catch up!” Koki generously offered.
Jin turned and managed a weak smile at his friend, avoiding Kame’s eyes completely, “Thanks Koki, maybe another time.” He opened the door and walked out.
“We should have told him sooner, you know,” Koki said as he pulled Kame into a hug.
“Well, now he knows,” Kame melted into Koki’s embrace, but his eyes never left the closed door. As the image of Jin’s devastated expression burned itself into his mind, tears fell for the very first time.
***
The next morning, Kame and Koki turned up together for the recording of KAT-TUN Cartoon, their first one with Jin. Kame sat in the make-up chair, and gave a soft sigh when the make-up artist commented that his eyes were very puffy. He had cried himself to sleep, with Koki’s strong arms around him. But that was last night. It was a new day, and he was going to put it behind him, just like how he had put so many other things behind him.
Yet, throughout the recording, he was not in top form, responding dully to the comments of his fellow members and the 2 guests. And through it all, he did not once look at Akanishi Jin, who was putting on a more composed performance than he was.
Not that Akanishi Jin looked at Kamenashi Kazuya either, anyway. Maybe, finally, it was all over.
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Note: I foresee that I'll be majorly stuck for Chapter 5, but that's my problem...heh. Hope you enjoyed Chapter 4!