[Fan Fic] Fragments - Chapter 12
Title: Fragments
Author: blinkbling24
Pairing: Akame, Kokame
Genre: Angst, Romance, Smut
Rating: NC-17 (As there will be smut in subsequent chapters)
Disclaimer: I obviously don’t own them, because if I did, this fic would be in video instead of just words.
Warning: Fic is unbeta-ed, so please excuse the grammer/spelling mistakes, if any.
Summary: In life and love, you can’t have everything that you want, or can you?
A/N: This is my first multi-chaptered fic. I don’t know how long this will be yet. I’ll see how it goes as I write. This story is set in the near past, but will go back to the further past and play around with the timeline quite a bit, and it might get a little messy. I’ll try to be as faithful to the timeline as possible, but my memory might not serve me well, and I might just change things a bit and add a few imaginary dates, using my creative license.
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Chapter 12
Mid February 2008, Hokkaido
“We hardly spend time together, you and I,” observed Maru on the evening flight from Tokyo to Hokkaido.
“What do you mean? I seem to always get stuck with you for these silly Cartoon KAT-TUN special episode things,” Jin replied, sticking his earphones into his ears.
“Yes, but that’s hardly enough,” Maru reasoned, “I haven’t had a decent conversation with you since you got back.”
“Yeah, this is kinda nice, getting away from Tokyo, even if it’s with you,” Jin responded in slight jest.
“It would be nicer if we were going to a warmer place, rather than arctic Hokkaido,” Maru was never one to give up the chance to whine and complain.
Jin simply grinned and looked out the window, watching as the Tokyo lights grew smaller and smaller, until they were covered by the clouds.
“I know we have an early morning schedule, but how about going to the hotel’s onsen once we check in?” Maru asked.
“You’re not going to embarrass me by covering up your bits right?” Jin could not help but chuckle.
Maru felt that that sentence was ironic on at least a couple of levels, “I do not cover up my bits, you guys exaggerate, and I still can’t believe you guys brought it up on national TV. Seriously. Can’t a guy practice a little bit of non-exhibitionistic behavior without being ridiculed?”
“Admit it, it was funny, still is,” Jin’s laughter reached its trademark high pitch.
“Shut up. Onsen or not?”
“Sure,” Jin shrugged his consent before falling asleep to the lull of the plane’s engine.
***
Jin relaxed in the steaming hot water, feeling his limbs loosen. He looked out of the adjacent window and admired the night of Hokkaido’s countryside. Even though Jin was a city boy through and through, the country, in small doses, touched him. He sighed and soaked deeper into the water.
Where was Maru? Probably thinking of how best to come to the bath without exposing too much of himself, Jin deduced as he shook his head. Jin had made a detour to the quaint hotel’s gift shop before coming to the onsen, and yet he was earlier than his friend. The reason for Jin’s detour was that he spotted a yukata with a unique print and decided to buy it. Kame’s birthday was coming up. Jin knew that he might not be able to give it to Kame, given their extremely strained relationship right now, but it was a habit that Jin had, and he did not particularly want to get rid of it. He would be content buying birthday presents for Kame every year and see them stack up in his own drawer.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Maru was finally lowering himself into the water.
Jin smirked and eyed Maru with mock lasciviousness. He laughed out loud at Maru’s unintentional but obvious blush, earning a thwack from Maru’s wet towel.
“This is really nice,” Maru said after they had settled down to enjoy each other’s company. It was very late and they were the only ones in their section of the onsen.
“Yes it is,” Jin agreed. For all his obsession with American and European culture, Jin had to admit that no one does simple luxuries and comfort like the Japanese.
“What I actually really mean is that it’s nice to see you smile and hear you laugh. I feel like I haven’t heard it in years,” Maru was being honest.
“I do laugh and smile, you’re just not there most of the time to see it,” Jin joked, hoping to change the subject.
“Doing so for the cameras or when imbibed with substances such as alcohol and the likes is not real, Jin,” Maru chided as he splashed some water on his chest.
Jin remained silent. He turned his head once again to look out towards the night sky. He wondered when did the word “personal” begin to mean “public” with everyone poking their nose into it. He chuckled slightly when he thought of the word “nose” in relation to his companion sitting next to him on the stony ledge in the water.
“I’m glad you’re relaxing here. God knows you need it,” Maru smiled, happy that he could do something for his bandmate and friend.
“Mmmmmmm…..” Jin tilted his head back and inhaled the warm air. He felt his lungs expand and he let the soothing sensation wash over him. It was a rare occurrence, Jin’s mind was blissfully blank, and he savoured it while he could. He felt his head get lighter and he fell into a pleasant semi-consciousness. He let his thoughts drift effortlessly and meaninglessly, thinking of only good things. Inevitably, his thoughts settled on vanilla smooth skin, on the familiar smell of crisp cologne, on shining caramel eyes, on soft pillowy lips.
Forgetting where he was, he gave a soft moan as he melted from the heat of the water and what he was experiencing in his mind. He ran his hands languidly over his chest, his abdomen, his inner thighs, causing gentle ripples in the water, even as he unknowingly whispered, “Kazuya…” In his dreamlike state, he felt his cock twitch, and automatically, his hand reached out for it……
“AHEM!”
Jin’s eyes sprung open at the sudden alien sound. Gradually realizing what had happened, he panicked slightly before he turned reluctantly to the man beside him. Maru had his eyes closed, pretending not to have noticed anything, although he could not help but hold a smug expression on his face. Jin sat still, embarrassed. The awkwardness of the situation was uncomfortable, but Jin could not leave the onsen, not yet, as there was something else causing him more discomfort underwater, and he had to wait for it to ebb.
It was a long while before Jin felt secure enough to get out of the water. He looked at Maru again, they had been quiet, and he saw that his friend was sleeping. Relieved, Jin started hoisting himself up.
“Be careful, Jin,” Maru suddenly spoke without opening his eyes, causing Jin to miss his footing in surprise and slip back in with a splash. Jin had wanted to throw Maru a scornful look, but when Maru opened his eyes, Jin saw concern in them, and he caught the double meaning in Maru’s words. Jin sighed, feeling that he had been sighing a lot recently.
“I’m trying,” Jin muttered.
“He’s somebody else’s now, and it’s not just some prick we don’t know. He’s with our good friend.”
“I know. God, don’t you think I know?”
Maru nodded. There was more to say, but it was not his place to say it. Jin, and perhaps Kame, had to be sensible and work it out for themselves. He just did not want to see Koki hurt and he wanted Jin to know that.
“Just…..be careful, Jin,” it was all Maru could say.
They acknowledged each other in the serious and profound moment, until Maru broke the heaviness by saying, “Err…Jin, you were in the midst of getting up right? Why don’t you leave first?”
“Why don’t we leave together? It’s late, and we have a full day of stupidity ahead of us.”
“I kinda want to soak a little while longer,” Maru insisted.
Jin looked at Maru in puzzlement before it dawned on him. He could not help but break out into boisterous laughter again. It was his turn to thwack Maru with his towel before getting up, leaving Maru all by his lonesome, chuckling as he did so.
***
Early March 2008, sound recording for Don’t You Ever Stop
“Stop it Jin, just stop….”
Jin felt urgent lips press against his once again. He raised his hand to cup Kame’s face as he returned the kiss, urging Kame’s tongue to invade and explore. His palms felt the silky smoothness of Kame’s cheeks, and his fingers caressed the soft flesh at the back of Kame’s ears. He barely heard what Kame was murmuring into the kiss.
“Stop it, stop…..Jin……stop……”
Pulling himself to stand up off the locker room bench, lips never detaching, and with hands unwilling to leave their mould of Kame’s face, Jin moved them forward until Kame was against the wall. It was only then that he allowed his lips to leave Kame’s to travel down Kame’s jaw line, Kame’s neck. Jin kissed each spot gently, getting intoxicated by Kame’s sweet honey scent that permeated out through his silken skin.
Kame had been kissing him fervently, heatedly, and now, as he was stamping Kame’s neck with fluttery kisses, he felt Kame’s hands stroking his back, long slow strokes, as though feeling the sinews of his muscles, the bones of his spine. Jin shivered at the sensation and he let himself get lost in Kame’s touches.
“Kazuya…..” he muttered between kisses, “Kazuya……”
“Jin…..” Kame whispered, before he moaned when he felt Jin’s hand move from his cheek, down his neck and onto his chest to brush his nipple through his shirt. “What are we doing, Jin,” Kame breathed, “What are we doing?”
“I don’t know…but…oh god….you taste so damn good…..” Jin said as he brought himself up to kiss Kame on the lips again. He felt Kame melt more in his arms, and Jin kissed and kissed the object of his desire, tasting him, getting drunk on him.
“Hhhnnn….J…jin…we…should….sss…ttt…OH GOD!” Jin had moved his lips to Kame’s ears and had started nibbling on them.
“Kazuya….I want to taste every bit of you….” Jin mumbled, blowing wispy breaths into Kame’s ears, causing Kame to shudder and grip more tightly onto Jin. Jin knelt down and lifted Kame’s shirt, revealing his creamy abdomen. He nuzzled his face into it, and continued his quest. Kame leaned his head back onto the wall, and sighed, fingers stroking and curling through Jin’s hair. Jin’s hands reached up to tease his nipples under his shirt and Kame groaned at the contact.
His kisses were getting lower and lower, until his lips hit the waistband of Kame’s black jeans. The denim was thick, but Jin could see, he could feel, Kame’s arousal that mirrored his. Jin moved his hand to the belt buckle and Kame gasped, and squeezed his eyes shut.
“Don’t….Jin….please….don’t…..” But his pleas fell on deaf ears. Jin fumbled with the buckle. Even in his lust-filled mind, he knew that Kame would forcefully try to stop him if he wanted to, and not use only words. Kame wanted this as much as he did, he told himself.
The buckle was unfastened, the button was undone, and Jin began to unzip the zipper while Kame very slightly, very very slightly thrusted his hips forward.
“Jin…..”
The way Kame moaned his name sent a spiral of fire into the pit of his stomach. He buried his face into Kame’s tummy again as his fingers worked the zip. He kissed and licked Kame’s pleasure trail that led and disappeared into the white band of his boxers. Jin was getting drunk, so drunk that it took him a while to notice that Kame was pushing him away. Kame’s hands were on his head, it they were trying to move him off.
What the…..? Jin heard the sound of a mobile phone ringing. He got back on his feet and backed away as he watched Kame fish for his phone in his jeans pocket. Jin gulped to see the unbuckled portion, exposing Kame’s boxers.
Kame glanced at the caller ID, a look of guilt and worry flashed across his face, and Jin knew immediately who it was. And it was only then that he snapped out of his reverie, it was then that he remembered the words, be careful Jin. Kame flicked his phone open and Jin sat back down on the bench. Kame accepted the call and put it to his ear, and Jin buried his face in his hands.
“Koki….yes, I’m still here. I’ll see you at home.”
A good 15 minutes had passed before Jin released his face, but he knew, he knew even before he looked. Kame was gone.
***
Kame studied his lover’s sleeping face. Kame had returned home to find that Koki had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him. The drive home was one of the most dangerous drives Kame had ever experienced. He could not keep his focus on the roads, his mind kept drifting back to what had happened, and his entire being was a big knot of confusion. He felt pleasure, he felt pain. He felt relief, he felt guilt. He felt like he was torn into two. He did not know how he managed to make it back, but he was thankful that he did.
Looking at Koki now, so peaceful, oblivious to what had happened, made Kame’s heart ache. He leaned in and laid a gentle kiss on Koki’s lips, feeling the bristles that he had grown so used to. Kame cringed. The taste was wrong. He had Jin’s taste in his mouth, and it was wrong. Just wrong.
Wrong was something Kame did not want to feel. He had spent all his life striving for perfection, doing what was right, doing what was responsible. He needed to do the responsible now, he had made his choice with Koki.
But.
This was Jin. Akanishi Jin. The boy that held a part of Kame’s heart, a part that Kame needed to feel whole. Kame did not want to admit it, to admit that he needed Jin. In Kame’s mind, it was a matter of whether he wanted Jin, and in what way did he want him. Kame could not deny that what happened in the locker room affected him. He knew that his body responded, and it felt oh so good. There was something there that he could never feel with Koki. Was it enough though, for Kame to make a decision that will hurt someone who loved him so much?
He saw a clear and bright path with Koki, but with Jin, it was dark and foggy. And yet...Jin.... Jin, who made him feel on top of the world and plunged him into the depths of hell at the same time. Kame shook his head to clear it. Something has to be done, but he did not know what.
“Kame….Kame-chan….” Koki was talking in his sleep. Kame turned and held Koki’s hand in his, watching Koki’s face twitch in reaction to his dream.
“Kame…..don’t go…..don’t go…….” Kame’s eyes widened as he saw a glistening tear stream down Koki’s face. A sharp pain gripped him as he kissed the tear away.
“Koki, sweetie, you’re dreaming….” He roused Koki out of his sleep. He watched as Koki opened his eyes, disoriented and fearful at first, but slowly realizing that it was a dream. Koki sat up and gave Kame a big hug.
“Kame…”
“Sshh…I know. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Kame hoped that the words that he uttered were something he felt from the bottom of his heart.
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A/N: I put something a little lighter in front just to ease the mood. It's not going to be an easy web to untangle, for Kame, for Jin, for Koki, and for me writing them :p