Four Times John Did, and One Time He Didn't
Title: Four Times John Did, and One Time He Didn't
Author: Blissfire
Rating: R
Pairing: Rodney/John, John/OFC
Summary: John cheats, and then he doesn't.
Warnings: Angst, het.
Set after The Return. Woe, I own nothing.
The first time, Rodney thought he was imagining things. He knew very well that he had a propensity toward the paranoid, so when he saw Sheppard emerge from the First Minister’s quarters on P3X-259 looking perhaps a little more mussed than he had earlier in the day, Rodney tried to be the good, non-suspicious boyfriend, and wrote it off.
The second time (also with the First Minister, and wow, he really hated that home-wrecking bitch), he’d said to hell with being the good boyfriend, and followed Sheppard when he went to scout the perimeter of the grounds after dinner. He didn’t even have to worry about how he was going to nonchalantly break into a government official’s private quarters and make it look like an accident, because Sheppard had First Minister Nahera against the wall in the hallway, five feet from the door.
Rodney stopped mid-step and watched them for a moment, mind wrapped in a floaty web of detachment. Wow, he really is cheating on me. He had the sudden, inappropriate urge to laugh. He thought about getting really angry, shouting, hitting the wall, maybe - that would probably be satisfying - but that would feel like an act. After all, grand displays of hurt betrayal were for surprises, weren’t they?
He must have let out a little giggle after all, because Sheppard jerked away from Nahera (and somehow it was worse, so much worse that she was here for this), and stared down the hallway at him, looking sorry and urgent, and so caring that Rodney almost wished he would smirk at him. Wished he say, “Hey, Rodney, want a piece?” or “Hey, buddy, don’t worry, I’ll have lots left for you,” or anything that would let Rodney just hate him they way he wanted to.
“Rodney-” he said, holding his hands out palm-first, taking a small, abortive step toward him.
“Yeah,” he said suddenly, as if he’d forgotten something in the lab and just remembered. “It’s okay, I’ll just-” He jerked his hand in the general direction of behind him, away from here, and turned to go.
John didn’t run after him, didn’t call out, and Rodney thanked him silently.
The hardest thing - the thing about infidelity that no one ever explained - was that Rodney knew John really did love him. He’d say it sometimes, casually, an off-hand “Love you” when he signed off from a secure conversation, or when he was above him, driving into him, face pressed to Rodney’s neck, wetting a ridiculous amount of surface area with fervent kisses.
But aside from that, Rodney knew it was true by the way John played with him, tossing the Nerf ball at his head while he was on his laptop, sticking his cold toes under Rodney’s thighs in the evening (half to warm them, and half just to hear him squawk, he was sure), and all the little annoying things he did during the course of the day just because doing them with Rodney was fun. Rodney never doubted that John loved him. Not even now.
Maybe especially not now, when he could see how much John was hurting just from knowing that Rodney was. When he kissed him tentatively, never asking for more. When, the first night they were together again, he pressed his face into Rodney’s neck and wet it with gratitude more than kisses.
Because he loved him, John was careful, and Rodney never found out about the third time.
The fourth time was on Earth, and Rodney decided to let it go - it’s Earth - it doesn’t count. Sheppard had had alcohol - real Earth alcohol, and he was military and on leave, and didn’t that incite some sort of madness in military men? What happens in the Milky Way, stays in the Milky Way. She was blonde and pretty and in another time and place, Rodney might have tried for her himself. So even though it sat in the bottom of his stomach like a stone, he decided to let it go.
Then, dialing home at Midway, he saw a bright red indented mark half covered by Sheppard’s wristband and changed his mind.
The fifth time, John was sinking softly into the welcoming body of the trade negotiator of P2X-343. She had short red-brown hair and a great laugh, and when she ran her hands down his back her hands were smooth and warm. She kissed his ear and rocked with him, hips lifting rhythmically from the stuffed straw bedding.
It’s not a betrayal, John told himself, squeezing his eyes shut. He left you, he’s gone. No one’s getting hurt.
As she shuddered and moaned into his hair, John tried to believe it.
Author: Blissfire
Rating: R
Pairing: Rodney/John, John/OFC
Summary: John cheats, and then he doesn't.
Warnings: Angst, het.
Set after The Return. Woe, I own nothing.
The first time, Rodney thought he was imagining things. He knew very well that he had a propensity toward the paranoid, so when he saw Sheppard emerge from the First Minister’s quarters on P3X-259 looking perhaps a little more mussed than he had earlier in the day, Rodney tried to be the good, non-suspicious boyfriend, and wrote it off.
The second time (also with the First Minister, and wow, he really hated that home-wrecking bitch), he’d said to hell with being the good boyfriend, and followed Sheppard when he went to scout the perimeter of the grounds after dinner. He didn’t even have to worry about how he was going to nonchalantly break into a government official’s private quarters and make it look like an accident, because Sheppard had First Minister Nahera against the wall in the hallway, five feet from the door.
Rodney stopped mid-step and watched them for a moment, mind wrapped in a floaty web of detachment. Wow, he really is cheating on me. He had the sudden, inappropriate urge to laugh. He thought about getting really angry, shouting, hitting the wall, maybe - that would probably be satisfying - but that would feel like an act. After all, grand displays of hurt betrayal were for surprises, weren’t they?
He must have let out a little giggle after all, because Sheppard jerked away from Nahera (and somehow it was worse, so much worse that she was here for this), and stared down the hallway at him, looking sorry and urgent, and so caring that Rodney almost wished he would smirk at him. Wished he say, “Hey, Rodney, want a piece?” or “Hey, buddy, don’t worry, I’ll have lots left for you,” or anything that would let Rodney just hate him they way he wanted to.
“Rodney-” he said, holding his hands out palm-first, taking a small, abortive step toward him.
“Yeah,” he said suddenly, as if he’d forgotten something in the lab and just remembered. “It’s okay, I’ll just-” He jerked his hand in the general direction of behind him, away from here, and turned to go.
John didn’t run after him, didn’t call out, and Rodney thanked him silently.
The hardest thing - the thing about infidelity that no one ever explained - was that Rodney knew John really did love him. He’d say it sometimes, casually, an off-hand “Love you” when he signed off from a secure conversation, or when he was above him, driving into him, face pressed to Rodney’s neck, wetting a ridiculous amount of surface area with fervent kisses.
But aside from that, Rodney knew it was true by the way John played with him, tossing the Nerf ball at his head while he was on his laptop, sticking his cold toes under Rodney’s thighs in the evening (half to warm them, and half just to hear him squawk, he was sure), and all the little annoying things he did during the course of the day just because doing them with Rodney was fun. Rodney never doubted that John loved him. Not even now.
Maybe especially not now, when he could see how much John was hurting just from knowing that Rodney was. When he kissed him tentatively, never asking for more. When, the first night they were together again, he pressed his face into Rodney’s neck and wet it with gratitude more than kisses.
Because he loved him, John was careful, and Rodney never found out about the third time.
The fourth time was on Earth, and Rodney decided to let it go - it’s Earth - it doesn’t count. Sheppard had had alcohol - real Earth alcohol, and he was military and on leave, and didn’t that incite some sort of madness in military men? What happens in the Milky Way, stays in the Milky Way. She was blonde and pretty and in another time and place, Rodney might have tried for her himself. So even though it sat in the bottom of his stomach like a stone, he decided to let it go.
Then, dialing home at Midway, he saw a bright red indented mark half covered by Sheppard’s wristband and changed his mind.
The fifth time, John was sinking softly into the welcoming body of the trade negotiator of P2X-343. She had short red-brown hair and a great laugh, and when she ran her hands down his back her hands were smooth and warm. She kissed his ear and rocked with him, hips lifting rhythmically from the stuffed straw bedding.
It’s not a betrayal, John told himself, squeezing his eyes shut. He left you, he’s gone. No one’s getting hurt.
As she shuddered and moaned into his hair, John tried to believe it.