"My thoughts are choking on you my dear"
Let me cut you off my skin,
To sacrifice this mortal twin.
Leave me crying,
desperate,
dying...
Leave me lonely, wearing sin.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about the past, and how if I just didn't do certain things, or did do other things, how different everything would be, and how I wouldn't be able to obsess about how I'm the one at fault for always eventually losing what makes me happy.
And I'm really confused, because I have no idea what the hell to do with myself and why I do the things I do.
I found out that blunt objects are much much better for leaving scars. Under the cross on my arm, I now have I ♥ U written vertically down my forearm, and it made me sickly happy.
I feel like vomitting again. I so threw up blood Monday. ("That's true love right there") That's what happens when you accidentally take a lethal dose of tylenol, your stomach gets ripped to shreds. It hurts.
I fell asleep after the PSSA's, and woke up because my stomach was growling so loudly. It was funny.
I was talking to Chelsea in German and just lost it, and tried to hide the fact that I was crying. But she told me that none of them even compare to me... and I love her for it, but she's wrong. I've cried 3 times openly today. And I don't even care... it doesn't matter. And why should it? I wish that I didn't throw up Monday, then this wouldn't be much of a problem... well, yeah it would, cuz people don't want to go to 2 funerals in a week.
I hate when I don't know exactly what you mean when you say things. I hate not knowing who you're talking to. And I hate the fact that it's probably not who I want it to be..... What do I want? I don't fucking know. Maybe I do....
I just can't do this again, it hurts too much, and I'm tired of wearing long sleeves. What is with my lack of self-control?!