I have so many favorites
1. Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals and
Hillary Clinton. Added: (Bill too!)
2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our
highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
3. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving
their jobs to India.
3A. Added: And not letting reservists retire when elegible, since the
DOD says they are needed in Afghanistan and/or Iraq; unlike active duty
soldiers who can retire when their tour of duty is up! What do
we have here? Two different Armies?
4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind
without regulation.
5. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
for your recovery.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unless you someday run
for Governor of California as a Republican.
8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
9. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies out
then demand their cooperation and money and troops.
10. HMOs and insurance companies make giant profits while they have the
interest of the average family at heart.
11. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.
12. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
13. It is okay that the Bush family's "Carlisle Group" has done
millions of dollars business with the bin Laden family of Saudi Arabia.
14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him and when Rumsfeld
reassured him he was our buddy, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war
on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, but then a bad
guy again when Bush
junior exercised his personal mania to avenge his Daddy by going to war.
15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
offense. A president lying about WMD existence as an excuse for war
and occupation in which thousands of
soldiers and civilians die is solid policy in a "War on Terrorism."
16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which should include banning gay marriages and censoring
the Internet.
17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George Bush's Harken Oil stock trade should be sealed in his Daddy's
library, and is none of our business.
18. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s was of vital national interest,
but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
19. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but
trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a "spirit of international
harmony."
20. Affirmative Action is wrong, but it's OK for your daddy and his
friends (here and in Saudi Arabia) to get you to graduate from Yale
without studying much, to dodge the draft in the Texas Air National
Guard, to bail out your Harken Oil Company and the Texas Rangers, to
finance you for Governor of
Texas and then to have Republicans on the Supreme Court appoint you
President of the USA.
21. You are a conservative, but it is OK to spend like there's no
tomorrow and run up huge deficits that your grandchildren will have to
pay, and at the same time refund as much tax money as possible to
wealthy people who do not need it.
These dissonant, contradictory mindsets can take a severe toll on a
person's mind. So, if you know someone who has been acting dazed and
confused lately, be kind -your friend is no doubt a Bush Republican!