(no subject)
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique
and a swinging hot spot
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
They took all the trees
And put them in a tree museum
And they charged all the people
A dollar and a half to see 'em
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And they put up a parking lot
Hey farmer farmer
Put away that D.D.T. now
Give me spots on my apples
But leave me the birds and the bees
Please!
Dont it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
Late last night
I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi
Took away my old man
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
i'm in one of these crazy/personality disorder/had too much caffeine/ten billion in one deadlines to rush too but some how find the time to get all contemplative and philisophical about past loves, kisses, sexual acts in parks,crazy friendships that come with their insane adventures, shit that happened in the past, nostalgia and yada yada yada.
if there are people reading this that still don't know me well enough they'd swear i'm on speed. for those who do know me, yeah i'm on one of my mood swings again and it hit a record high. and aside for enough caffeine to give a horse a heart attack, i'm sober.
there has been a lot on my mind lately, too much to even think about each one straight
without it overlapping into another thought. and i have so many deadlines to meet, it's ridiculous. and i wondered why on earth people put so much stress on themselves. really, we are all a bunch of hunchbacks dragging around our burdens on our shoulders, pulling our baggage around and racing to finish everything so that we can add on more burdens. then we snap and go crazy, have a fifteen minute break which is completely spent on a sob-and/or-screamfest because that's the only amount of time you have leftover to express emotion. i mean the words relax, enjoy, savor, rejuvenate, these are completely foreign words to me in the english langauge. no one trys to take in or appreciate anything anymore. there's always someone to please someone to answer to someone with these standards automatically set to you before they even met you and got to see your potential.
for these past years, up until now when i impulsivelly decided to proudly through this wasted goal to the seven sea and flip it the middle finger as it sinks to the bottom like a ton of bricks, i have been thinking of all the things that's "wrong" with my personality that led to arguements with my parents. i'm too secretive, too lazy, i don't care, i don't think, i only want to be with my friends, i try to be too tough, but im too sensitive, i'm too bitter. there always seems to be something wrong with me. when people try to talk to me or ask me questions they'll answer for me like i don't speak the langauge, or they're embarrased by what i have to say. they say and do these things too me like i'm some kind of burden and i force myself on them. i've decided to ignore their smothering and i now know that there is nothing "wrong" with me and once i graduate high school i'll be free from my parents, and they'll watch me and they'll finally see that there was something in me other than "hot air" and "garbage".
*sigh* i feel so liberated now