Theatrical representation
Topic: What would your life be, if it were a movie? Comedy, horror, drama sci-fi? And who would play you?
A movie’s like one of those plays, right? People pretending to be other people, and acting out stuff for other people to see? And that stuff can be fictional or not? Yes, that sounds about right. What a fascinating question.
So my life would a Greek tragedy in two acts.
There will be laughter, and drama, and tears, and a whole lot of blood spurting all over the place. It will be an epic, the kind of which even the Muses would claw each other to death for the chance to finance. Ah, yes, I can see it now…
Act one would start chronicling my childhood. The opening would be in my village, showing the different people there, all wandering around doing their farm-related activities in their usual carefree way. And then enters a young girl with bright blonde hair - young Callisto, of course - and her beloved parents and elder sister. They do their thing, yay, everybody’s happy, oh what fun, yes.
And then… alas! Enters the heartless warrior Xena, who slaughters everyone in a rampage of madness. I’m sure they can figure out some way to stage the burning down of the village. And stage Xena should have a lot of wicked make-up. And she should scream a lot. Oh - oh! Maybe she can even sing as she slaughters the villagers! You know, like, la-la-laaaaaa you are a boff, so I chop your head off la-la-laaaa…
Yes! And there could be an awesome musical number where young Callisto has a soliloquy as she looks over the crispy-burnt bodies of her family. It’s title could be… oh, Embers of Mourning. The brilliance!
And then there’d be a time lapse of about ten years, bringing forth another actress to be a grown-up Callisto. She’d have to be greatly skilled, and get all the intensity and focus just right. And she’d have to know how to do sommersaults. I don’t know any actresses, let alone those that could accomplish all that the role expects of them, so I suppose the casting person has to be extra careful. Anyway, so then there’d be a couple of scenes to establish how Callisto rose from the ashes to become a warrior queen with a troupe of deadly but loyal fighters under her wing.
The finale of act one would have Callisto decide that she’s finally ready, and goes off to flush Xena out of her hiding place.
Act two would have Callisto and her new army marching through the land. There should be a lot of fighting and destruction, so maybe it’d be a little expensive to stage, but well worth it, I think.
And then of course, the confrontation. Callisto and Xena would finally meet face to face. I’m thinking that Xena would refuse to fight at first, instead choosing to hide behind her newest attache, Gabrielle, and refusing to accept the responsibility of her actions ten years prior.
There will be a lot of dramatic screaming and thoughtful speeches as they dance around each other, but at the end Callisto finally draws Xena to fight with her. And it would be a clash of the titans - a true battle of greatness, awesome back-flips and mad warrior skills.
Ideally, I would want the play to end with Callisto serving that final blow, killing Xena. Preferably with a couple of her limbs flying about.
But since it’s a Greek tragedy, Callisto would have to die as well. I’m thinking a knife in the back by Gabrielle should do the trick. And of course as Callisto dies she’ll sing a very long and meaningful number of justice and how she’s finally happy that her family has been set to rest. And then she dies.
I’m getting teary-eyed just thinking about it.
So, yes, that would be the theatrical representation of my life.
Hey, nobody said anything about it having to be accurate.
A movie’s like one of those plays, right? People pretending to be other people, and acting out stuff for other people to see? And that stuff can be fictional or not? Yes, that sounds about right. What a fascinating question.
So my life would a Greek tragedy in two acts.
There will be laughter, and drama, and tears, and a whole lot of blood spurting all over the place. It will be an epic, the kind of which even the Muses would claw each other to death for the chance to finance. Ah, yes, I can see it now…
Act one would start chronicling my childhood. The opening would be in my village, showing the different people there, all wandering around doing their farm-related activities in their usual carefree way. And then enters a young girl with bright blonde hair - young Callisto, of course - and her beloved parents and elder sister. They do their thing, yay, everybody’s happy, oh what fun, yes.
And then… alas! Enters the heartless warrior Xena, who slaughters everyone in a rampage of madness. I’m sure they can figure out some way to stage the burning down of the village. And stage Xena should have a lot of wicked make-up. And she should scream a lot. Oh - oh! Maybe she can even sing as she slaughters the villagers! You know, like, la-la-laaaaaa you are a boff, so I chop your head off la-la-laaaa…
Yes! And there could be an awesome musical number where young Callisto has a soliloquy as she looks over the crispy-burnt bodies of her family. It’s title could be… oh, Embers of Mourning. The brilliance!
And then there’d be a time lapse of about ten years, bringing forth another actress to be a grown-up Callisto. She’d have to be greatly skilled, and get all the intensity and focus just right. And she’d have to know how to do sommersaults. I don’t know any actresses, let alone those that could accomplish all that the role expects of them, so I suppose the casting person has to be extra careful. Anyway, so then there’d be a couple of scenes to establish how Callisto rose from the ashes to become a warrior queen with a troupe of deadly but loyal fighters under her wing.
The finale of act one would have Callisto decide that she’s finally ready, and goes off to flush Xena out of her hiding place.
Act two would have Callisto and her new army marching through the land. There should be a lot of fighting and destruction, so maybe it’d be a little expensive to stage, but well worth it, I think.
And then of course, the confrontation. Callisto and Xena would finally meet face to face. I’m thinking that Xena would refuse to fight at first, instead choosing to hide behind her newest attache, Gabrielle, and refusing to accept the responsibility of her actions ten years prior.
There will be a lot of dramatic screaming and thoughtful speeches as they dance around each other, but at the end Callisto finally draws Xena to fight with her. And it would be a clash of the titans - a true battle of greatness, awesome back-flips and mad warrior skills.
Ideally, I would want the play to end with Callisto serving that final blow, killing Xena. Preferably with a couple of her limbs flying about.
But since it’s a Greek tragedy, Callisto would have to die as well. I’m thinking a knife in the back by Gabrielle should do the trick. And of course as Callisto dies she’ll sing a very long and meaningful number of justice and how she’s finally happy that her family has been set to rest. And then she dies.
I’m getting teary-eyed just thinking about it.
So, yes, that would be the theatrical representation of my life.
Hey, nobody said anything about it having to be accurate.