loss and love

[blondieburke]

As soon as Juliet found out that she was pregnant, she was over the moon. After being in Tahiti for almost a year, they'd finally decided to try, and when she told James, it was all she could do to not blurt it out in excitement. Their first appointment was normal - pre-natal vitamins, going through a check-list of dos and dont's, which she already

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[justaconman]

That's a bad, bad sound; not a sound he ever wants to hear from her. He can't get to the bathroom fast enough, it seems, and when he's there, the first thing he does notice is the blood. But he doesn't want to alarm her, either, even though his heart has just dropped to his stomach. He's not a doctor, but he knows that's not good. He gets behind her, wrapping his arms around her to steady her.

"I'm here, baby," he soothes. "You just hang on to me, I'm gonna get ya to the hosital." He pauses just a moment before lifting her into his arms. He doesn't even want to mention the blood, as unrealistic as that is right now.

[blondieburke]

"It's not...this isn't...it's wrong...James, the baby...."

She looks up at him, scared out of her mind. But when they get to the clinic, the doctor confirms what they both know. They do what they need to, tell James that she lost the baby and that it's nothing abnormal, that sometimes these things just happen.

He can go see her now, but she's staring out of a window despondently, eyes red rimmed from crying.

[justaconman]

He's just watching her from the doorway for a moment; the sight of her makes his heart break even more. He didn't realize until now just how much he'd wanted this baby, and now their baby is gone. He'd been so unsure, so afraid, but tiny as it was, he'd loved the idea of it, wondering whether the baby would be a boy or girl, what names they could come up with, who the baby would look like. As sad as he is, Juliet's the one who'd been carrying that baby inside of her, and he just doesn't know what he could possibly say to make this better.

He sits beside her on the bed, and pulls her into his arms, not saying anything just yet.

[blondieburke]

Juliet doesn't say anything either. And she knows in her rational mind that miscarriages aren't uncommon. But that was their baby. Theirs. All that she can manage to do is sob, holding onto him tightly as she does, body shaking.

"I'm so sorry," she manages to get out, blaming herself, blaming her body.