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[bloodandroses_1]

userinformatik_h8 had this posted in her last entry:

I WISH I MEANT SOMETHING TO SOMEONE...

...I WANNA BE SPECIAL TO YOU.I know I mean something to my friends...what little friends I have. But I guess I'll always wonder, why I never mean soemthing to someone special to me

Comments

[littlecrow]

Except for the kids thing, I could have written this post meself ;) *Hugs*

I know how you feel. I've been rediscovering myself and my drive over the past year since I broke up with my fiance (we were together 5 years).

It just takes time, some soul-searching and a little inspiration. And we all get by with a little help from our friends ;)

I know what you mean about the "meaning something to someone special" bit too. I came to the conclusion that I'm just too picky, but I like it that way because I'm tired of settling. Just means I'll be single for longer than I'd like, but it's better than the alternative.

You have a rough rode ahead of you because you have kids, but I'm sure you'll find a way to provide for them as well as for yourself. It may not be the ideal route, but where there's a will, there's a way. Don't stop believing.

[ev_nichole]

I know exactly how you feel. I am often there myself. Don't give up tho dear... I did that & have no idea or even drive/desire to get it back. Part of me died when the only person I ever loved disappeared forever... it is soemthing that I do not wish on/for anyone else. I continually ask what's the point... that it doesn't matter. I'm not really alive... or don't feel so anyway - what I'm doing isn't living... existing maybe... but even that is a stretch. The only ones who seems to care if I come or go is my son & a friend of mine who has been there for the last 13 or so years... & funny, she's a single mom living a whole county away.

You have an incredible inner stregnth tho - don't give up.

I understand

[bloodandroses_1]

In an oddway it makes me feel better I'm not going crazy and other people feel this. Maybe a mid-life crisis, I don't know. If it is I just don't want to succumb to it...to surrender to "it's too late" for any aspect of my life. If that makes sense.

Re: I understand

[ev_nichole]

makes perfect sense.

Lisa, I love you, you are one of my best friends how can I help??????

[opheliaonfire]

Lisa, sweetie, is there anything I can do for you? I want things to work out for you, you should be happy and I want that for you more than anything, but you need to want that for yourself and do things to move into that direction. Don't be afraid to rediscover/reinvent yourself. Things happen for a reason, don't forget that.

A poem, I wrote a long time ago, for you Lisa,

Time written words
Splashed against the mirror
It shows a child that was once me
Now gone
The days wasted time
Spills the light rays
It drinks away my youth
And reveals the bitter old age
I really am
An abstract vison of fun
And cartoon fantisies are almost real
For they are all I hold on to
Dreaming of water and drowning
In a sea of dispair
Hoping that someone will save me
Only to find
It is me who must
Save myself

Re: Lisa, I love you, you are one of my best friends how can I help??????

[bloodandroses_1]

I think this is wonderful and painfully truthful. I think I am just so tired..kow what I mean? So tired I am just ready to go with the flow of life, and you know that is NOT me..hehe. But time to reinvent. That is ther perfect wording. I care about you too Carrie. I am always thankful I have a true friend. You'd be suprised how many people have many acquaintances, but will never know what it feels like to have true friend. I'm very lucky.

Re: Lisa, I love you, you are one of my best friends how can I help??????

[opheliaonfire]

Hey I need your instant messager name, I'm going to give this a whirl, me being technically retarded as I am I'm going to give it a try but I need your messenger name, I know you have given it to me in the past but, I can't seem to find it.

Therapy in an e-mail

[opheliaonfire]

I was looking at an e-mail that was sent to me and this is a cute story I want to share with you