Putting rules like not being allowed to talk to others/ex's is a big sign theres a lack of trust. Id tell him he can talk to who he wants, inthe hope in time he would relax an say its ok to talk to who you want, but then i wouldnt have someone tell me who i could or couldnt talk to.
that's exactly what i've said, because my kids' father was not only a control freak but abusive as well, and that makes me rebel against anything that even remotely reminds me of that...oh well, i guess i'm going to sit back and see where it all goes from here.
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