Fic: Adventures in Solitude [2/11]
Title: Adventures in Soltiude [2/11]
Author: bloodism
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/post-Season 4 canon-au, romance, hurt/comfort
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Sam/OC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 30, 708
Warnings: fallen!cas, OC's, sexual content, canon-au
5th July 2009
Sioux Falls, North Dakota
Sam’s out of the panic room and though he stares at Dean with wariness and guilt, Dean knows he’s forgiven. He knows; it should be him who has to forgive Sam. But it’s an impasse - they both know that they’re all they’ve got and forgiveness is something that just takes time.
They’re at Bobby’s and they’re planning. They have a life ahead of them now. It’s the first time in four years they haven’t had the fate of the world resting on their shoulders and they’re lost.
“I say we keep hunting,” Dean suggests from the couch, “Apple pie life? I just don’t think we’re cut out for it.”
Sam nods. “It’d be nice, you know, but you’re right. I think we should keep saving people. Dad would want us to.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not doing it for dad,” Dean says, putting his beer onto the coffee table a little too hard. Blue eyes flash into his mind, and he sits back, tucking his arms over his chest.
There’s a silence in the room and Dean can almost hear Sam’s mind working. He doesn’t want to know what he’s said to send his brother into overdrive, but he’s certain he’s going to know sooner or later.
“I’m sure he’s okay, Dean,” Sam eventually says.
Dean sends him a funny look.
“Who?”
“You know who I’m talking about.”
“I wouldn’t be asking if I did.”
“Cas. I’m talking about Cas.”
The name itself makes Dean go rigid. He knew, of course, he’d just wanted Sam to say it. It was like… it was like he wanted Cas to be brought up so he could have a good enough reason to think about him.
“I’m not worried.”
“Sure,” Sam stands up and heads to the kitchen to flip through the newspaper on the table. “You trust him as much as you trust me and Bobby. Cas made it onto ‘Dean Winchester’s List of Irreplaceable’s’ the moment he went to take on that archangel,” Sam sends him a weak smile. “Dean. You’re worried.”
Dean shuffles uncomfortably and scratches the back of his neck.
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am,” Dean presses a hand to his chest pocket, feeling the strange warmth radiating from the feather. “He had that look. Like… Like the one dad gave me before…” He trails off.
Sam carries the newspaper over to Bobby’s armchair and seats himself in it, holding it between his hands. He watches Dean, a worried crease between his eyebrows.
“The same look you gave me after you sold your soul to bring me back,” Sam says. Dean looks up and meets his soft gaze, trying to squash down the horrible torrential churning in his stomach. There’s a blatant silence where the two think about what it means, and it stretches far beyond when they both come to the same conclusion. Dean’s not going to say it, so Sam does; “You think he’s dead?”
Dean recoils, grimaces, and forces disbelief.
“No. No. Come on man, this is Cas. There’s gonna be some higher power up there that’s kicking all the other angels asses for what they’ve done, and Cas is probably sitting in the corner with a popsicle.”
Sam staring at him with those large, watery puppy dog eyes and Dean knows it’s the look he gets when his fake enthusiasm is transparent.
“Alright. Well, I think I’ve found a job. Sounds like a haunting in North Dakota just a couple of hours drive from here.” Sam gets up and throws the newspaper into the trash. “Come on. It’ll take your mind off things.”
Dean doesn’t object to Sam’s assumption that he was over-thinking Cas’s departure, and gets up.
“Ganking a few ghosts sounds like the perfect vacation.”
-
1st July 2009
New Orleans, Louisiana
The girl takes Castiel to her home. Or rather, her sister’s home. It’s small, and Castiel is reminded of Bobby’s house the moment he enters. It’s filled with warmth and detail.
“Jude?” An older woman storms out of a nearby door. She’s pretty, with long hair that tumbles down her shoulders in brown waves. Castiel supposes her features would be more beautiful if she didn’t look so angry, though they soften at the sight of him. Jude readjusts Castiel on her shoulders.
“Yeah, I kinda found a lost puppy while I was out,”
The woman moves forward without hesitation and latches Castiel’s other arm around her shoulders.
“I told you not to go without me,” she scolds. Jude scoffs and turns away.
“Fae, I’m not a child.”
“Yes. You are.”
“You’ve let me out on my own before. For days. ”
“That was when you knew what you were hunting. We had no idea how many changelings there were going to be.”
“There were only two. She would have been capable of defeating them both,” Castiel cuts in, unaware that his comment seems to be biased. Fae’s grip tightens on his arm.
“Okay, who is this guy? And why did you bring him home?” she says sternly, hauling Castiel onto their sofa with a sigh. Jude straightens up and rolls her shoulders.
“His name’s Castiel. He got there before I did. Took one of the assholes out-“ Jude dodges a swipe from her sister who seems to disapprove of her language. “But got pretty beat by the other one.”
Fae looks down at Castiel. Castiel can feel his injuries - a bruised chest and ankle. It’s not a lot, but for someone who’s just experiencing humanity, it’s more than enough.
“You some sort of lightweight?” Fae asks, though her voice isn’t hostile. She seems concerned.
“I’m adjusting to this vessel. Being human means my injuries don’t heal as fast.”
There’s silence.
“Right. Okay.” Fae turns to glare at her sister, who’s looking at Castiel with surprised fascination. “You hear that? He’s not used to being human. You brought a piece of supernatural crap into our house. Good job.”
“I was-“ Castiel stops. He knew how the companionship between hunters was supposed to work and these two girls were the closest he will probably ever come to it. Even in Dean’s circumstances, the hunter had seemed reluctant to believe that Cas had been an angel. To tell an average human? He had been on Earth long enough to know that it would result in disbelief and claims that he was ‘crazy’. “I meant to say that it has been a while since I’ve been hunting. I’m not used to the pain.”
Fae stares at him carefully, clearly not believing anything that’s coming out of his mouth. She seems to assume that he’s harmless, though.
“Alright…” She trails off and when Castiel looks back at her, she’s heading toward the kitchen. His stomach rumbles and he’s reminded of the burger he had eaten hours before. Castiel jerks slightly when the couch on one side tips and he turns his head to see Jude flopped out on the coach next to him.
“So, you gonna stay for long?” Jude says. Castiel opens his mouth to reply and then shuts it again to think. “Because we’ve been looking for a third wheel, you know? It’d be awesome if we had another guy around.”
Castiel, having come up with a suitable response, goes to reply again. But he stops.
“’Another guy’?” He stares between the two women in confusion and Fae’s watching him strangely from behind the kitchen counter. “I wasn’t aware you had another male in your group.”
Jude’s staring at him in shock.
“Dude. Me. I’m supposed to-How the hell did you know?”
Castiel blinks at her. “Know what?”
Jude throws her arms up.
“That I’m a girl! ”
Castiel’s a little dumbfounded by the hostility and frowns, unsure how to respond.
“I apologise. I thought it was obvious.”
Fae storms over, wooden spoon in her hand.
“Yeah, not so obvious, big boy. No one’s ratted her out yet. How’d you do it?” She points the wooden spoon at him, like it could be threatening. Castiel’s frown deepens.
“I told you. It was obvious.”
There’s silence and Castiel’s pretty sure he’s blown it.
“Alright.” She’s still wary of him, Castiel can tell, but she was allowing him to stay in her house. There was a certain level of trust between them now. The microwave beeps in the kitchen and Fae heads back over to it.
“Hey, you hungry?” she calls. Castiel doesn’t realise she’s speaking to him until he receives a sharp dig in his side. Jude jerks her head into Fae’s direction, indicating that the question was directed towards him.
“Yes,” he replies.
Fae seems a little surprised at his honest response and elaborately spoons out a helping of casserole onto another plate.
“Guess we need to get you a collar, pup.”
-
6th July 2010
Castiel is there for a year. During his stay, he learns that the sisters’ mother has passed and that they have been searching for their dad for over a year. It’s information he receives by overhearing conversations not meant for him and by the sentimental objects the girls keep on them - a ring and a necklace.
Castiel is a slow learner. Even after a year, he’s still trying to grasp the human niceties. But Fae and Jude help him, though Cas is fairly sure they don’t know they’re helping him. They go on hunts, they share night skies together, they play video games, they follow leads for the location of their father... Cas feels like he belongs to something special again. It’s not his garrison, but it’s close enough. Oh, but he misses the Winchesters. He misses them so much it hurts.
-
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
8th September 2009
It’s been about two months since Castiel tied up his feathers and handed himself over to the cloud surfers.
Dean’s still waiting.
They weren’t close, before Cas had left. And that was what had bothered him. It was the closest thing to a friendship that Dean had even gotten and he wanted to… explore it. Castiel was the first person he had begun to trust outside of the circle he’d drawn around himself since the age of eleven and he hadn’t even had the chance to experience what it felt like.
“Dean?” Dean looks up in surprise and sees Sam standing in the doorway. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You didn’t hear me coming,” Sam says with a smile. “You sure you alright?”
“We gonna have this talk every time we take a break? Do the words ‘I’m fine’ now mean ‘come talk to me about my feelings’?”
“Well, whenever you get time to think, you sort of...” Sam waves in the air with his hand. “Zone out.”
“I’ve got a lot to think about,” Dean retorts, heaving himself up off of Bobby’s porch. Even during the last hunt he had been on, his mind had wandered. He’d been backed up against the wall, ghostly fingertips digging into his throat, and he remembered that this was when Cas would show up. He’d show up and the creatures would know that he was an angel, they’d try to run, but Cas would reappear in their path and smite them until their creepy little asses burst into flames.
“Have you...” Sam trails off, uneasily dropping his gaze to the floor. Dean waits and his chest tightens, like his body knows Sam is going to say something that’s going to give him a sucker punch to the gut. “Have you thought about it? About Cas? And the fact that he might be...”
“Yeah,” Dean says stiffly and there’s something hostile and defeated about his tone. Sam presses no further and Dean leaves him on the porch, fisting his hands in his pockets.
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Author: bloodism
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/post-Season 4 canon-au, romance, hurt/comfort
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Sam/OC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 30, 708
Warnings: fallen!cas, OC's, sexual content, canon-au
5th July 2009
Sioux Falls, North Dakota
Sam’s out of the panic room and though he stares at Dean with wariness and guilt, Dean knows he’s forgiven. He knows; it should be him who has to forgive Sam. But it’s an impasse - they both know that they’re all they’ve got and forgiveness is something that just takes time.
They’re at Bobby’s and they’re planning. They have a life ahead of them now. It’s the first time in four years they haven’t had the fate of the world resting on their shoulders and they’re lost.
“I say we keep hunting,” Dean suggests from the couch, “Apple pie life? I just don’t think we’re cut out for it.”
Sam nods. “It’d be nice, you know, but you’re right. I think we should keep saving people. Dad would want us to.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not doing it for dad,” Dean says, putting his beer onto the coffee table a little too hard. Blue eyes flash into his mind, and he sits back, tucking his arms over his chest.
There’s a silence in the room and Dean can almost hear Sam’s mind working. He doesn’t want to know what he’s said to send his brother into overdrive, but he’s certain he’s going to know sooner or later.
“I’m sure he’s okay, Dean,” Sam eventually says.
Dean sends him a funny look.
“Who?”
“You know who I’m talking about.”
“I wouldn’t be asking if I did.”
“Cas. I’m talking about Cas.”
The name itself makes Dean go rigid. He knew, of course, he’d just wanted Sam to say it. It was like… it was like he wanted Cas to be brought up so he could have a good enough reason to think about him.
“I’m not worried.”
“Sure,” Sam stands up and heads to the kitchen to flip through the newspaper on the table. “You trust him as much as you trust me and Bobby. Cas made it onto ‘Dean Winchester’s List of Irreplaceable’s’ the moment he went to take on that archangel,” Sam sends him a weak smile. “Dean. You’re worried.”
Dean shuffles uncomfortably and scratches the back of his neck.
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am,” Dean presses a hand to his chest pocket, feeling the strange warmth radiating from the feather. “He had that look. Like… Like the one dad gave me before…” He trails off.
Sam carries the newspaper over to Bobby’s armchair and seats himself in it, holding it between his hands. He watches Dean, a worried crease between his eyebrows.
“The same look you gave me after you sold your soul to bring me back,” Sam says. Dean looks up and meets his soft gaze, trying to squash down the horrible torrential churning in his stomach. There’s a blatant silence where the two think about what it means, and it stretches far beyond when they both come to the same conclusion. Dean’s not going to say it, so Sam does; “You think he’s dead?”
Dean recoils, grimaces, and forces disbelief.
“No. No. Come on man, this is Cas. There’s gonna be some higher power up there that’s kicking all the other angels asses for what they’ve done, and Cas is probably sitting in the corner with a popsicle.”
Sam staring at him with those large, watery puppy dog eyes and Dean knows it’s the look he gets when his fake enthusiasm is transparent.
“Alright. Well, I think I’ve found a job. Sounds like a haunting in North Dakota just a couple of hours drive from here.” Sam gets up and throws the newspaper into the trash. “Come on. It’ll take your mind off things.”
Dean doesn’t object to Sam’s assumption that he was over-thinking Cas’s departure, and gets up.
“Ganking a few ghosts sounds like the perfect vacation.”
-
1st July 2009
New Orleans, Louisiana
The girl takes Castiel to her home. Or rather, her sister’s home. It’s small, and Castiel is reminded of Bobby’s house the moment he enters. It’s filled with warmth and detail.
“Jude?” An older woman storms out of a nearby door. She’s pretty, with long hair that tumbles down her shoulders in brown waves. Castiel supposes her features would be more beautiful if she didn’t look so angry, though they soften at the sight of him. Jude readjusts Castiel on her shoulders.
“Yeah, I kinda found a lost puppy while I was out,”
The woman moves forward without hesitation and latches Castiel’s other arm around her shoulders.
“I told you not to go without me,” she scolds. Jude scoffs and turns away.
“Fae, I’m not a child.”
“Yes. You are.”
“You’ve let me out on my own before. For days. ”
“That was when you knew what you were hunting. We had no idea how many changelings there were going to be.”
“There were only two. She would have been capable of defeating them both,” Castiel cuts in, unaware that his comment seems to be biased. Fae’s grip tightens on his arm.
“Okay, who is this guy? And why did you bring him home?” she says sternly, hauling Castiel onto their sofa with a sigh. Jude straightens up and rolls her shoulders.
“His name’s Castiel. He got there before I did. Took one of the assholes out-“ Jude dodges a swipe from her sister who seems to disapprove of her language. “But got pretty beat by the other one.”
Fae looks down at Castiel. Castiel can feel his injuries - a bruised chest and ankle. It’s not a lot, but for someone who’s just experiencing humanity, it’s more than enough.
“You some sort of lightweight?” Fae asks, though her voice isn’t hostile. She seems concerned.
“I’m adjusting to this vessel. Being human means my injuries don’t heal as fast.”
There’s silence.
“Right. Okay.” Fae turns to glare at her sister, who’s looking at Castiel with surprised fascination. “You hear that? He’s not used to being human. You brought a piece of supernatural crap into our house. Good job.”
“I was-“ Castiel stops. He knew how the companionship between hunters was supposed to work and these two girls were the closest he will probably ever come to it. Even in Dean’s circumstances, the hunter had seemed reluctant to believe that Cas had been an angel. To tell an average human? He had been on Earth long enough to know that it would result in disbelief and claims that he was ‘crazy’. “I meant to say that it has been a while since I’ve been hunting. I’m not used to the pain.”
Fae stares at him carefully, clearly not believing anything that’s coming out of his mouth. She seems to assume that he’s harmless, though.
“Alright…” She trails off and when Castiel looks back at her, she’s heading toward the kitchen. His stomach rumbles and he’s reminded of the burger he had eaten hours before. Castiel jerks slightly when the couch on one side tips and he turns his head to see Jude flopped out on the coach next to him.
“So, you gonna stay for long?” Jude says. Castiel opens his mouth to reply and then shuts it again to think. “Because we’ve been looking for a third wheel, you know? It’d be awesome if we had another guy around.”
Castiel, having come up with a suitable response, goes to reply again. But he stops.
“’Another guy’?” He stares between the two women in confusion and Fae’s watching him strangely from behind the kitchen counter. “I wasn’t aware you had another male in your group.”
Jude’s staring at him in shock.
“Dude. Me. I’m supposed to-How the hell did you know?”
Castiel blinks at her. “Know what?”
Jude throws her arms up.
“That I’m a girl! ”
Castiel’s a little dumbfounded by the hostility and frowns, unsure how to respond.
“I apologise. I thought it was obvious.”
Fae storms over, wooden spoon in her hand.
“Yeah, not so obvious, big boy. No one’s ratted her out yet. How’d you do it?” She points the wooden spoon at him, like it could be threatening. Castiel’s frown deepens.
“I told you. It was obvious.”
There’s silence and Castiel’s pretty sure he’s blown it.
“Alright.” She’s still wary of him, Castiel can tell, but she was allowing him to stay in her house. There was a certain level of trust between them now. The microwave beeps in the kitchen and Fae heads back over to it.
“Hey, you hungry?” she calls. Castiel doesn’t realise she’s speaking to him until he receives a sharp dig in his side. Jude jerks her head into Fae’s direction, indicating that the question was directed towards him.
“Yes,” he replies.
Fae seems a little surprised at his honest response and elaborately spoons out a helping of casserole onto another plate.
“Guess we need to get you a collar, pup.”
-
6th July 2010
Castiel is there for a year. During his stay, he learns that the sisters’ mother has passed and that they have been searching for their dad for over a year. It’s information he receives by overhearing conversations not meant for him and by the sentimental objects the girls keep on them - a ring and a necklace.
Castiel is a slow learner. Even after a year, he’s still trying to grasp the human niceties. But Fae and Jude help him, though Cas is fairly sure they don’t know they’re helping him. They go on hunts, they share night skies together, they play video games, they follow leads for the location of their father... Cas feels like he belongs to something special again. It’s not his garrison, but it’s close enough. Oh, but he misses the Winchesters. He misses them so much it hurts.
-
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
8th September 2009
It’s been about two months since Castiel tied up his feathers and handed himself over to the cloud surfers.
Dean’s still waiting.
They weren’t close, before Cas had left. And that was what had bothered him. It was the closest thing to a friendship that Dean had even gotten and he wanted to… explore it. Castiel was the first person he had begun to trust outside of the circle he’d drawn around himself since the age of eleven and he hadn’t even had the chance to experience what it felt like.
“Dean?” Dean looks up in surprise and sees Sam standing in the doorway. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You didn’t hear me coming,” Sam says with a smile. “You sure you alright?”
“We gonna have this talk every time we take a break? Do the words ‘I’m fine’ now mean ‘come talk to me about my feelings’?”
“Well, whenever you get time to think, you sort of...” Sam waves in the air with his hand. “Zone out.”
“I’ve got a lot to think about,” Dean retorts, heaving himself up off of Bobby’s porch. Even during the last hunt he had been on, his mind had wandered. He’d been backed up against the wall, ghostly fingertips digging into his throat, and he remembered that this was when Cas would show up. He’d show up and the creatures would know that he was an angel, they’d try to run, but Cas would reappear in their path and smite them until their creepy little asses burst into flames.
“Have you...” Sam trails off, uneasily dropping his gaze to the floor. Dean waits and his chest tightens, like his body knows Sam is going to say something that’s going to give him a sucker punch to the gut. “Have you thought about it? About Cas? And the fact that he might be...”
“Yeah,” Dean says stiffly and there’s something hostile and defeated about his tone. Sam presses no further and Dean leaves him on the porch, fisting his hands in his pockets.
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