TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSIONS ABOUT RAPE
Ok, people, I really need to get this out.
IF YOU FIND RAPE JOKES FUNNY, YOU ARE ENCOURAGING RAPE CULTURE.
Are you offended? Good. If you are so offended that you do not want to continue on, please stop reading now. It only gets “worse.”
If you find anything to do with rape worthy of a joke, that makes you a rape apologist. You know why? Because you are supporting the normalization of rape. You look at rape as something so over the top, that when it happens in real life (and it happens so much more than people realize) you dismiss it. It’s a joke. It can’t happen in real life. It can’t happen to anyone I know.
But it does happen. 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted. 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted. And those statistics? Are based off the crimes that are reported. It does not take into account the crimes that go unreported.
Rape is one of the most unreported crimes. It’s seen as something to humiliating and shameful, because it is ingrained in the survivor's head that they did something to deserve it. And that thought is encouraged pretty much everywhere.
Well, she shouldn’t have been wearing that short skirt.
Well, she shouldn’t have been drinking.
Well, he shouldn’t be gay.
And then, there are the derailments.
What about the people who lie about rape?
Stop. That number in the single digits. And even then, the chances that they were telling the truth are enormous. Just because a person recanted their accusation does not mean they were lying. They may have not had the energy to go through a trial (assuming it even got that far). Or, they may have been scared off.
What about men who are raped?
I do not mean this to say that men are not raped. To say rape is a woman’s issue only is dismissing men who have been sexually assaulted. The reasons why men are assaulted and do not report it are coated in misogyny i.e. he was too weak to stop it or rape is something that only happens to women. But, I have seen it brought up to many times as a derailment tactic when talking about rape among women. You obviously do not give a shit about male rape survivors until they can win you points in an argument. Why are you using their trauma to fuel your derailment?
There is no such thing as rape culture where I'm from. It must be an American thing.
I'm not American. I have been to/lived in several countries. I have seen it everywhere. You're country is not a magical place free of sexism and rape culture.
I see this every time a rape accusation comes up. It is all about what the victim should have done to prevent the rape. They should have been better protected. They should have had a weapon. They should have taken self-defence classes. They should have fought back. When really, the onus in on the rapist. He (or she) should have had the power to stop, you know, raping a person. Rape culture is so much more than sexual violence. It breeds the idea that a person’s body is not their own. But it is so insidious that most people deny it even exists. These people would rather close their eyes and hold their hands over their ears then admit to the idea that rape jokes do encourage people to rape.
It’s already so prevalent in our society that nobody really notices it anymore. Rape is viewed as compliment. You were so attractive, that they could not handle themselves. And then, if someone talks about their rape, it’s “but you’re fat and ugly. Who would want to fuck you?” And that is disgusting. Rape is not sex. Rape is an act of violence commuted on someone without their consent. So, if you think that it is okay to talk about how the attractiveness of someone in a discussion about rape, not only are you derailing, you are an asshole.
So, when I “attack” you for liking rape jokes, I am “not stepping on your free speech.” I am attacking the attitude behind it, an attitude that supports and normalizes rape. You may be able to say whatever you want, especially on the internet. But I am allowed to tell you exactly what to do with your opinion.