I can’t sleep. Clinton called for our ‘decent convo’ but I fucked up. I’m immature, I won’t get anywhere in life, I have the wrong attitude. So now, I’ve decided to end my connections. Yes, when I return to my stable state I will regret it but by then it’ll be too late and he will hate me forever and ever. I actually switched my phone off on him ( Read more... )

I spent today with Yang. We stayed in the state library after my suggestion to study in Hyde Park was brutally rebuffed. However, this did not stop our intellectual debates and verbal revision of the biology syllabus. It was great, especially for me, because I have an inability to study when there is no audible component. I photocopied notes off ( Read more... )

I’m feeling less emo today. Although today wasn’t a particularly good day. Woke up at 6:30am, with fuzzy thoughts of a sweet phone call the night before and drifted to school. The math exam was 3 hours - I planned to leave early since I usually just leafed through the 16 pages of questions, do what I can and doodle for the last hour, but I could ( Read more... )

Butterfly is trying to be cheerful despite feeling like crap. It’s much better, my parents are nicer to me generally - but they also think I’m ‘over’ my depressed state so they have been piling on responsibilities. I’m not complaining, I know I’ll have to pay for my mobile phone bill, fill out my own scholarship applications and inform centrelink ( Read more... )

it oils the mechanical parts inside my mind
the steady dripping of blood
from my heart unfound -
but the spirit it does corrode
and weaken - ‘til it breaks.

searching deep, but nothing I can find.
metal glittering, shining -
offers no comforting warmth
simplified, but surprisingly unsatisfied
where is the lost gift I have for you?

spirit is now broken
but ( Read more... )

The blundering zombie has decided to amuse everyone with yet another chapter of her melodramatic life filled pointless agony so that you can giggle and feel lucky that you do not have my life ( Read more... )

The two exams were awful, utterly horrid. English paper two had an easy ‘Transformations’ question, a somewhat obscure ‘critical study of text’ question and a straightforward question with a confusing quote to discuss for ‘power play’. As usual, the butterfly wouldn’t have finished any of the essays if she went into detail so she presented a thesis ( Read more... )

I don't have to explain do I? ... I was bored ( Read more... )

You may be wondering why on earth I’m watching Bridget Jones’s Diary the night before my HSC English paper 2 exam. To tell you the truth, I don’t know. If you know me well (like really really well) you would know that I was sobbing myself silly during the sad bits, and the happy bits. Considering the movie is a combination of the two, I was sobbing ( Read more... )

I had that dream again. One where I’m trying to climb a set of ridiculously tall and steep stairs which were crowd congested like the Town Hall steps. It’s made more difficult by that fact that there are no handrails on the sides to lessen my fear of heights so I was semi-crawling. My parents are at the foot of the stairs but I’ve lost sight of ( Read more... )