Stuff....and more stuff
A quick little ramble kinda...grew. Just some thought i felt like getting out.
Maverick worries me. He was limping today. I hope he just did something to it, I don't want it to be arthritis or something. He's an old puppy, i know...but i'd like to deny it just a bit longer. Man, it's hard to see it, life without mavy. Those big brown puppy eyes, his so happy looks, his concern when your sad or upset. his super soft n fluffy hair on his head and behind his ears ^.^ His bouncy run or "gallop".
Do you know... If my dog, Maverick died I would be a wreck. tears, pain, everything.
If my father died? nothing...
it seems cruel and sad. Not about mav,a bout my dad. He's my father but I'm just sort of..numb toward him. It's like between hima nd mom, as she's said.. he's killed any love that was there. It's like a stranger you know...does that make sense? I can't hate him. I hate the type of person he is, he's horrible, but I cant hate him. Don't really love him either. We dont even knwo what he would want when he dies, cus he refuses tot alk about it, as if THAT will prevent it from happening. It's comming, we know it. maybe thats another reaosn we wouldnt be affected, we know its near. I mean, the lifestyle he leads alone. and he just looks so...sickly. When hes up and around it isnt so bad..but whne hes sleeping..he looks so..ill. and his room has that smell that you cant quite place. Not to mentiont hat cough that makes you shiver.
we really have no idea what he'd do for him when he's gone. where to be barried, if at all. what sort of service. He seems like a traditional type. not cus he beleive in it but cus..he should, or something. like he makes reference to the bible (like with the gays issue) and yet, i doubt hes ever opened one, let alone, the last time we were in church, i was probably in pre-school. The funeral/showin would be odd. several people, if not most, would probably be there because they feel they should. like dawn and sarah (my half sisters) I feel bad at time. I used to have a poof outlook on them, from what my father told me. until i got older and realize what sort of person was my source. I really wouldnt want Judy there (his ex, their mother) as she's..well...big in the drama. We're more laid back people, mostly. Matt will be great to have around then. We'll probably play card or bs. It'll be wierd to see them, my sisters i mean. What do you say to half sister you;ve had practically no contact with and your only common link is said father? WHat would I do when people come up to me? to give me their sympathy? sayig "thanks, but I dont need it" seems wrong somehow. honest, but disrespectful somehow.
respect. any idea how much of a better place the world would be if people exersize just a touch of respect? I'm not talking the big respect you have to earn, no, I mean a basic respect everyone deserves by default. Not critisizing and scoffing at people you dont know. manners and respect. that all, just a nice, common level. it's hard to explain really.
christmas...it's such a big deal. theres a group in wisoncin, against ALL realigion of ANY kind. there's a nativity scene here in michigan, its been here forever. they're all offended and claim they've had complaints. sayign they should be able to put a sign next to it...sayign alot, to sum up "your full of shit, there's no god, devil, heaven or hell, just our own world as it is"
...now, i'm not a religious person in the tradition sence...but shove off! Those banners in the street? the garland on street lamps? natovty scenes and menorah on lawns and in displays? No problem, they're all quite lovely and i dont care what symbol you choose to celebrate with. why? because they're doing just that, CELEBRATING! I'm not offended, because i'm not an asshole. as long as yoru not shoving the basis behind it down my throat, do what you wish. The pricks, however, i mind! I am offended! that sign would gratly offend me! Why? cus they arent trying to celebrate their own view, they're trying to shquish it, tear it down. people. i swear, we're a hopeless breed. if it isnt hurting anything, whats the problem? People just need to calm down, just a bit.
Sorry for all the ranting, although none of it (cept a few remarks against that wisconsin anti-religion group) is even in anger or rage just..thoughts. Now, I think I might make my way to bed. G'night.
Maverick worries me. He was limping today. I hope he just did something to it, I don't want it to be arthritis or something. He's an old puppy, i know...but i'd like to deny it just a bit longer. Man, it's hard to see it, life without mavy. Those big brown puppy eyes, his so happy looks, his concern when your sad or upset. his super soft n fluffy hair on his head and behind his ears ^.^ His bouncy run or "gallop".
Do you know... If my dog, Maverick died I would be a wreck. tears, pain, everything.
If my father died? nothing...
it seems cruel and sad. Not about mav,a bout my dad. He's my father but I'm just sort of..numb toward him. It's like between hima nd mom, as she's said.. he's killed any love that was there. It's like a stranger you know...does that make sense? I can't hate him. I hate the type of person he is, he's horrible, but I cant hate him. Don't really love him either. We dont even knwo what he would want when he dies, cus he refuses tot alk about it, as if THAT will prevent it from happening. It's comming, we know it. maybe thats another reaosn we wouldnt be affected, we know its near. I mean, the lifestyle he leads alone. and he just looks so...sickly. When hes up and around it isnt so bad..but whne hes sleeping..he looks so..ill. and his room has that smell that you cant quite place. Not to mentiont hat cough that makes you shiver.
we really have no idea what he'd do for him when he's gone. where to be barried, if at all. what sort of service. He seems like a traditional type. not cus he beleive in it but cus..he should, or something. like he makes reference to the bible (like with the gays issue) and yet, i doubt hes ever opened one, let alone, the last time we were in church, i was probably in pre-school. The funeral/showin would be odd. several people, if not most, would probably be there because they feel they should. like dawn and sarah (my half sisters) I feel bad at time. I used to have a poof outlook on them, from what my father told me. until i got older and realize what sort of person was my source. I really wouldnt want Judy there (his ex, their mother) as she's..well...big in the drama. We're more laid back people, mostly. Matt will be great to have around then. We'll probably play card or bs. It'll be wierd to see them, my sisters i mean. What do you say to half sister you;ve had practically no contact with and your only common link is said father? WHat would I do when people come up to me? to give me their sympathy? sayig "thanks, but I dont need it" seems wrong somehow. honest, but disrespectful somehow.
respect. any idea how much of a better place the world would be if people exersize just a touch of respect? I'm not talking the big respect you have to earn, no, I mean a basic respect everyone deserves by default. Not critisizing and scoffing at people you dont know. manners and respect. that all, just a nice, common level. it's hard to explain really.
christmas...it's such a big deal. theres a group in wisoncin, against ALL realigion of ANY kind. there's a nativity scene here in michigan, its been here forever. they're all offended and claim they've had complaints. sayign they should be able to put a sign next to it...sayign alot, to sum up "your full of shit, there's no god, devil, heaven or hell, just our own world as it is"
...now, i'm not a religious person in the tradition sence...but shove off! Those banners in the street? the garland on street lamps? natovty scenes and menorah on lawns and in displays? No problem, they're all quite lovely and i dont care what symbol you choose to celebrate with. why? because they're doing just that, CELEBRATING! I'm not offended, because i'm not an asshole. as long as yoru not shoving the basis behind it down my throat, do what you wish. The pricks, however, i mind! I am offended! that sign would gratly offend me! Why? cus they arent trying to celebrate their own view, they're trying to shquish it, tear it down. people. i swear, we're a hopeless breed. if it isnt hurting anything, whats the problem? People just need to calm down, just a bit.
Sorry for all the ranting, although none of it (cept a few remarks against that wisconsin anti-religion group) is even in anger or rage just..thoughts. Now, I think I might make my way to bed. G'night.