and everybody was feeling FI YA AH INE
Well the last two weeks have been amazing
hanging out with amazing people. (pictures to come)
(michelle ull prob be the only one reading this.)
im fiiiiiiiinally relalizing i did not "love" him
he did not "love" me
and finnnnnnnnnally it doesnt bother me.
Im not gunna go "shoppin" For a new boy
im sure he'll come to me
or ill find him unintenionally like i found the last one.
I JUST GET ATTTATCHED TO EASY.
i admit ill miss us hanging out
his voices, faces ,remarks, comments ,attitude, sarcasim,
kisses while looking up with my eyes closed,goffy smiles, clumsiness
but i think i just liked him alot cuz he was my first "Love"
but now i relalize it wouldnt have worked out really
maybe i just want what i cant have
cuz im pretty posotive i just let jealousy take over me
and i got mad about the "other girl"
i probably wouldnt have worried or cared as much if i wasnt a jealous spaz.
were still friends tho he says so i wont really miss anything right?...
but boys say alot of things.watever works tho.
i might be better off without all that.
i kinda wish we were just really really good friends that could tell eachother anything and like not remember about us going out just be like good friends.
i wont miss him mocking me
correcting me
and i didnt like how i acted when i was with him
i acted all needy and crazy when usually im to shy or just dont care about wat happens.
and geting all offended easily for no reason
ive pretty much understood that I ADMIT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS
and im not one of those morons that wastes and use that word like hello and goodbye
so i refuse to say it to any future relationships (besides michelle and jna and jenna )Untill i am with someone for a very long time and have a better idea of "Love."
I THAUGHT i knew what love was cause he was the first boy i dated that i introduced to my family and braught over to me house more than once and first boy that i obsessed ovver and first boy i cried over
and i always wanted to hang out with him and first boy i found that could make me laugh no matter wat mood i was in or how shitty i was feeling. that changed but he use to.... all that gay girl stuff.
but now that i think about it i dont know, maybe i just got caught up in the moment.
oooooooother things.
the number has decreased of friends but the trust is even stronger
all the better for me in my opinion.
found out somee people hate me or "Dislike" me.
....wat can u do about it?..
i have to try harrrrd this year in school ive been giving up to easily in classes.
ive been hanging out with matt more now that hes been in arizona.hard when hes in mesa tho
hes so sweet and stupid it makes all my depression go away.
and im going to homecoming with RILEEEEEEEY and michelle and phil are going and whoever else is going sweet im kinda excited just cuz ill be with those people.
sorry who read this and it sucked.k bye
i have to vent somewhere