(no subject)
After work today I get two days off ALONE (Laura's here too but she ignores me). I haven't said much good about where I work, and I don't want to complain because the residents are amazing and it's rewarding to think maybe you're helping them a little.
But I think I might quit.
And it's a hard decision because it fills me with joy when a mute old lady who everyone regards as a walking vegetable recognizes me and gives me a hug. The few minutes she comes to see me always make my day.
But when I'm actually working, it's all about time, and it's all about pleasing the nurses, which I almost never acheive. I get the collective impression that they do not want me there.
I can completely handle doing full cares, getting smeared in poo and pudding, and I even got over the shock of being in the building as one of the residents passed away. And trust me, if it were one or two employees that didn't like me, I would not be typing this. But it's almost all of them.
And that makes me more miserable than dealing with people who cry when they see thier loves ones, or scream bloody murder, or think they're going to die every day.
Edit: UGH. Sorry. Baby needs a nap.
So that came out of nowhere and I was thinking about why. I realize now I'm just going through another depression. Ever since I got off the pills (thank you MCR) I've had them for a few days every two or three weeks. It's genetic, and I ususally bustle through with my iPod in tow, and come out on the other side loving my boys even more, but this one's lasted a bit too long for my liking. Hurry up Much on Demand ! Hurry up! (It might be Mikey's first press appearance since he came back!)
But I think I might quit.
And it's a hard decision because it fills me with joy when a mute old lady who everyone regards as a walking vegetable recognizes me and gives me a hug. The few minutes she comes to see me always make my day.
But when I'm actually working, it's all about time, and it's all about pleasing the nurses, which I almost never acheive. I get the collective impression that they do not want me there.
I can completely handle doing full cares, getting smeared in poo and pudding, and I even got over the shock of being in the building as one of the residents passed away. And trust me, if it were one or two employees that didn't like me, I would not be typing this. But it's almost all of them.
And that makes me more miserable than dealing with people who cry when they see thier loves ones, or scream bloody murder, or think they're going to die every day.
Edit: UGH. Sorry. Baby needs a nap.
So that came out of nowhere and I was thinking about why. I realize now I'm just going through another depression. Ever since I got off the pills (thank you MCR) I've had them for a few days every two or three weeks. It's genetic, and I ususally bustle through with my iPod in tow, and come out on the other side loving my boys even more, but this one's lasted a bit too long for my liking. Hurry up Much on Demand ! Hurry up! (It might be Mikey's first press appearance since he came back!)