(no subject)
I apologize for this one, it's a bit of a long one, but it's something I feel needs to be said. I've cut it, so those interested, jump in after the cut...
May as well say so. A quick stroll through my gallery to see what I used to put up and how much I'm actually around nowadays would reveal as much. One just might go ahead and say I'm dead. I'm just too busy, or I'm getting hung up with life, this, that, etc...
Well, sure, but that's life. And it's about time I stop letting it hold me back.
I had a sort of mild revelation today. Sitting in a class of mine this morning, groggy, when my instructor started teaching and asking the class questions. Questions about us, our work, and why it's worth anything. This is why I love the first day of class in most of my classes. I usually end up getting hit with something wonderful and helps inspire me for the rest of the semester, well, at least up until midterms anyway.
But today was different. I can't explain it too well, but it was. Something I've been struggling with for a good while is who I am, not only as an artist, but as a person. Most of my life I just sort of ignored it and blindly stumbled forward, doing what ever I was told. Somehow, by chance, I found myself an animator. I don't know how, it just sort of happened. I even, ironically enough, recall swearing off the idea of ever becoming an animator, and now it's my major. Of course, where ever I go after school could be anything, but the fact that I'm studying a field I never thought I would is enough proof to me that I've been ignoring myself for some time now.
Looking back, I really started searching for myself as an artist back when I started at CCAD. I saw it as a fresh beginning, and hoped for the best. I sort of stumbled around for a good while before I finally started to find a few things clicked with me, but started getting frustrated when I realized, I just couldn't figure out where I fit. I can't say I know exactly where I sit with my work just yet, and perhaps, I may be in for a longer ride than I anticipate, but I'm changing things now.
I feel like I've been throwing away my time. I spend a lot of time working and studying my field. While in school, I spend anywhere from 10 to 16 hours on campus. No exaggeration there, I'm in school a lot, be it for class or working on homework. Yet, what do I have to show for it? Even my gallery here is pretty sparse. With that much time spend in study and work, shouldn't I have a bit more to show for it?
I don't post everything, but the first step I'm taking is to try to post more. Now this may seem simple to many, but this is going to be the most difficult step for me. I'm going to work harder to get more stuff done and show more of it. I know I can handle it, I've pushed myself to my limits before and have been able to produce. And honestly, I think I'm not doing it enough. I'm wasting my time, and I'm wasting the time of those who have decided to watch me, and that's just unfair all around. It's a waste, I need to produce more, and while I'm busy working on animation, I also need to be spending my free time producing art from myself.
So this is my first step toward breaking my old habits. This is my last year in school, better make something of it.
May as well say so. A quick stroll through my gallery to see what I used to put up and how much I'm actually around nowadays would reveal as much. One just might go ahead and say I'm dead. I'm just too busy, or I'm getting hung up with life, this, that, etc...
Well, sure, but that's life. And it's about time I stop letting it hold me back.
I had a sort of mild revelation today. Sitting in a class of mine this morning, groggy, when my instructor started teaching and asking the class questions. Questions about us, our work, and why it's worth anything. This is why I love the first day of class in most of my classes. I usually end up getting hit with something wonderful and helps inspire me for the rest of the semester, well, at least up until midterms anyway.
But today was different. I can't explain it too well, but it was. Something I've been struggling with for a good while is who I am, not only as an artist, but as a person. Most of my life I just sort of ignored it and blindly stumbled forward, doing what ever I was told. Somehow, by chance, I found myself an animator. I don't know how, it just sort of happened. I even, ironically enough, recall swearing off the idea of ever becoming an animator, and now it's my major. Of course, where ever I go after school could be anything, but the fact that I'm studying a field I never thought I would is enough proof to me that I've been ignoring myself for some time now.
Looking back, I really started searching for myself as an artist back when I started at CCAD. I saw it as a fresh beginning, and hoped for the best. I sort of stumbled around for a good while before I finally started to find a few things clicked with me, but started getting frustrated when I realized, I just couldn't figure out where I fit. I can't say I know exactly where I sit with my work just yet, and perhaps, I may be in for a longer ride than I anticipate, but I'm changing things now.
I feel like I've been throwing away my time. I spend a lot of time working and studying my field. While in school, I spend anywhere from 10 to 16 hours on campus. No exaggeration there, I'm in school a lot, be it for class or working on homework. Yet, what do I have to show for it? Even my gallery here is pretty sparse. With that much time spend in study and work, shouldn't I have a bit more to show for it?
I don't post everything, but the first step I'm taking is to try to post more. Now this may seem simple to many, but this is going to be the most difficult step for me. I'm going to work harder to get more stuff done and show more of it. I know I can handle it, I've pushed myself to my limits before and have been able to produce. And honestly, I think I'm not doing it enough. I'm wasting my time, and I'm wasting the time of those who have decided to watch me, and that's just unfair all around. It's a waste, I need to produce more, and while I'm busy working on animation, I also need to be spending my free time producing art from myself.
So this is my first step toward breaking my old habits. This is my last year in school, better make something of it.