Romance and Heroes (cont.)
Ok, here is the follow-up to the previous post. It got too long, so I split it between two entries to make it more readable, however, they will make more sense if you read the other one first. I look forward to your comments.
HEROES?
From the original comment, is it fair to say that there are no heroes anymore? In the definition of the word "hero," there are several meanings, but we can discard several of them from this discussion as we are not referring to ancient Greek gods, literary figures, or historical figures. We are trying to figure out what a hero is in terms of someone real with the assumption that he may be available to date. Therefore, the following definitions apply:
1. A man admired for his achievements and noble qualities.
2. One who shows great courage.
3. An object of extreme admiration and devotion
Many men (and women) are honored daily for their achievements. There are so many awards, awards shows, and honors passed around that it is difficult to distinguish if the "Walton Q. Public Award for Public Service" is more or less important than the "Burger King Employee of the Month." People do some amazing things, and should be recognized for their extraordinary efforts, however, many times an award needs to be given out, and there are not many worthy candidates. In the end, someone needs to accept the plaque on stage at the banquet, and someone, worthy or not, is chosen. Let's please try to distinguish between what is truly important and what should be expected from someone being a good person. Unfortunately, I think a lot of awards are given today just for having morals, for performance we should expect from an employee or government official, or for just showing up. I think part of the perception here stems from the overwhelming number of awards that we are expected to assimilate, which waters down the important ones.
Most people still have great respect for peace officers, firemen, veterans and active military personnel. If not, they should, as these are some of the few jobs left today where a person can honestly say that they don't know if they will be coming home tonight. They serve the public, and even if they cause the occasional inconvenience in a traffic stop, or if there are a few who abuse their positions, the majority of them have a great love for what they do. They have to love their job, because they don't get paid much. Argue all you want with the politicians about whether we need to be fighting in a war, but NEVER blame the troops and never support actions that leave them under-equipped, unprepared, or abandoned after their service is over. These people are professionals, they do a dirty job that most of us aren't willing to do, and they deal with the absolute worst people in existence on a daily basis. They show courage just by showing up for work every day.
Well, those types of heroes do exist, but part of the problem is that when women are looking for someone to date, they really want the last kind: an object of extreme admiration and devotion. Please note that Webster's added in to this entry "Idol." What do women want? Well that is a tough one, but I think that it has something to do with finding someone worthy of loving, someone they can depend on, someone who is worthy of devotion, who will provide, who will respect them.... I guess that there are as many reasons to admire and be devoted to someone as there are people in the world.
The question arises, what has happened to make men less admirable, less noble, or less courageous in the eyes of women? Once again I am going to deploy the "feminist defense," used in my previous post about romance. Because men are no longer needed, because they are unnecessary in the workplace, the home or even in reproduction and raising children, their position in the eyes of women has been downgraded. Because women have fought so hard to "be like a man," many men are treating them like one. If women are not special then, why do men have to put special effort into making them happy? If men are not needed, then why should they try to be? The feminist position is double-edged, and I think a lot of women are noting the lack of romance and admirable qualities in men as something they are missing because of it.
What can be done to rectify the current situation? Although I think most men and women have a mutual respect from a professional standpoint, I think we need to start appreciating the differences between the genders. Celebrate what makes both of us unique and special. I know sometimes it is great to have "guys poker night," or "girls night out," however, who wants to try and challenge the fact that our lives are enriched by interaction with both men and women. If we allow ourselves to realize that we are different, but both necessary, then we can give ourselves permission to "be a man," or to "be woman." Show me a man who doesn't like a woman to relax into his arms for warmth, protection or love. How many women still tingle when a man offers to help with her suitcase? These are people who at least have an idea of what I am attempting to describe.
To illustrate my point, I will give you an explanation of my own experience. When I and my brother were younger, my mother wanted to train us to be gentlemen. Every time we went to the store, she would wait for us to open the door for her as we went in the store. She never really said anything, except "thank you," but I ask you to choose who had the power in that situation. Explain to me how feminists can argue that such behavior is demeaning, or condescending, when the power is exerted by a woman. There was a clearly defined role for the boys (future men) and for the woman. Could she have gotten the door by herself? Of course. However, she was trying to teach us a lesson in manners, and I will argue that she succeeded. She understood the different, but equal, point that I am trying to make, and she gave us the chance to fulfill our role as men (heroes).
How does all of this relate to the concept of Heroes and an Romance? Maybe the best thing to come from reading my entries could be this: a realization that romance and heroes do still exist, but that we may have to look a little harder to find them. However, there are actions that you can take to help create more heroes and romance, starting with acknowledging it when you find it. Even if it isn't directed to you, compliment the person for their action or their attitude. We all like to have our efforts noticed, and it is amazing to me how far a simple "thank you," or "good job" can go to make a stranger feel good. This effect if doubled when a compliment is directed toward someone who is on a date. The man appreciates recognition of his efforts, and the woman has her opinion of him as a man reinforced. Take a little time to think about when such events have happened around you, and you will remember how good it made you feel.
Thank you for reading all of my ideas, and I look forward to your responses.
HEROES?
From the original comment, is it fair to say that there are no heroes anymore? In the definition of the word "hero," there are several meanings, but we can discard several of them from this discussion as we are not referring to ancient Greek gods, literary figures, or historical figures. We are trying to figure out what a hero is in terms of someone real with the assumption that he may be available to date. Therefore, the following definitions apply:
1. A man admired for his achievements and noble qualities.
2. One who shows great courage.
3. An object of extreme admiration and devotion
Many men (and women) are honored daily for their achievements. There are so many awards, awards shows, and honors passed around that it is difficult to distinguish if the "Walton Q. Public Award for Public Service" is more or less important than the "Burger King Employee of the Month." People do some amazing things, and should be recognized for their extraordinary efforts, however, many times an award needs to be given out, and there are not many worthy candidates. In the end, someone needs to accept the plaque on stage at the banquet, and someone, worthy or not, is chosen. Let's please try to distinguish between what is truly important and what should be expected from someone being a good person. Unfortunately, I think a lot of awards are given today just for having morals, for performance we should expect from an employee or government official, or for just showing up. I think part of the perception here stems from the overwhelming number of awards that we are expected to assimilate, which waters down the important ones.
Most people still have great respect for peace officers, firemen, veterans and active military personnel. If not, they should, as these are some of the few jobs left today where a person can honestly say that they don't know if they will be coming home tonight. They serve the public, and even if they cause the occasional inconvenience in a traffic stop, or if there are a few who abuse their positions, the majority of them have a great love for what they do. They have to love their job, because they don't get paid much. Argue all you want with the politicians about whether we need to be fighting in a war, but NEVER blame the troops and never support actions that leave them under-equipped, unprepared, or abandoned after their service is over. These people are professionals, they do a dirty job that most of us aren't willing to do, and they deal with the absolute worst people in existence on a daily basis. They show courage just by showing up for work every day.
Well, those types of heroes do exist, but part of the problem is that when women are looking for someone to date, they really want the last kind: an object of extreme admiration and devotion. Please note that Webster's added in to this entry "Idol." What do women want? Well that is a tough one, but I think that it has something to do with finding someone worthy of loving, someone they can depend on, someone who is worthy of devotion, who will provide, who will respect them.... I guess that there are as many reasons to admire and be devoted to someone as there are people in the world.
The question arises, what has happened to make men less admirable, less noble, or less courageous in the eyes of women? Once again I am going to deploy the "feminist defense," used in my previous post about romance. Because men are no longer needed, because they are unnecessary in the workplace, the home or even in reproduction and raising children, their position in the eyes of women has been downgraded. Because women have fought so hard to "be like a man," many men are treating them like one. If women are not special then, why do men have to put special effort into making them happy? If men are not needed, then why should they try to be? The feminist position is double-edged, and I think a lot of women are noting the lack of romance and admirable qualities in men as something they are missing because of it.
What can be done to rectify the current situation? Although I think most men and women have a mutual respect from a professional standpoint, I think we need to start appreciating the differences between the genders. Celebrate what makes both of us unique and special. I know sometimes it is great to have "guys poker night," or "girls night out," however, who wants to try and challenge the fact that our lives are enriched by interaction with both men and women. If we allow ourselves to realize that we are different, but both necessary, then we can give ourselves permission to "be a man," or to "be woman." Show me a man who doesn't like a woman to relax into his arms for warmth, protection or love. How many women still tingle when a man offers to help with her suitcase? These are people who at least have an idea of what I am attempting to describe.
To illustrate my point, I will give you an explanation of my own experience. When I and my brother were younger, my mother wanted to train us to be gentlemen. Every time we went to the store, she would wait for us to open the door for her as we went in the store. She never really said anything, except "thank you," but I ask you to choose who had the power in that situation. Explain to me how feminists can argue that such behavior is demeaning, or condescending, when the power is exerted by a woman. There was a clearly defined role for the boys (future men) and for the woman. Could she have gotten the door by herself? Of course. However, she was trying to teach us a lesson in manners, and I will argue that she succeeded. She understood the different, but equal, point that I am trying to make, and she gave us the chance to fulfill our role as men (heroes).
How does all of this relate to the concept of Heroes and an Romance? Maybe the best thing to come from reading my entries could be this: a realization that romance and heroes do still exist, but that we may have to look a little harder to find them. However, there are actions that you can take to help create more heroes and romance, starting with acknowledging it when you find it. Even if it isn't directed to you, compliment the person for their action or their attitude. We all like to have our efforts noticed, and it is amazing to me how far a simple "thank you," or "good job" can go to make a stranger feel good. This effect if doubled when a compliment is directed toward someone who is on a date. The man appreciates recognition of his efforts, and the woman has her opinion of him as a man reinforced. Take a little time to think about when such events have happened around you, and you will remember how good it made you feel.
Thank you for reading all of my ideas, and I look forward to your responses.