[In his Care] Chapter 74 ~part 2

[blue_orbs]

Jin was pretty silent on the way back, appearing to be lost in his thoughts. Kame partly wished he was psychic and partly he didn’t want to know what went on in Jin’s mind right now. Jin might not be thinking so good things about him right now. Kame felt almost guilty because of the fact that he felt more comfortable again now that Jin had his hands on the wheel instead of on him. Still he wanted to break this heavy atmosphere, but he couldn’t open his mouth much less look at the other boy right now.

Jin didn’t utter a word about where they were heading either and Kame wondered if Jin had decided to just take him back to their apartments, but instead of calling it a night like Kame had almost expected Jin to do, the leader drove them back to the abandoned racing place.

“Where is everyone?” Kame asked, as they stepped outside.

There was no one in sight.

“They’ve moved onto the clubs.” Jin explained and as Kame finally dared to send Jin a look his gaze stopped at marks the lipstick Tsumabuki had made him put on had left on Jin. It was supposed to look almost invisible and natural on him, but the fact that it was now on everywhere around Jin’s lips made it more visible as Jin’s skin was darker than his. “Can you drive?”

Kame snapped out of his thoughts, lifting his gaze from the area around Jin’s lips to Jin’s eyes. “Are you kidding me?”

“You don’t have a licence?” Jin asked, not that he cared about those kinds of papers, but he found it pretty strange Kame had never taken one.

“I do have a licence, but you’re not suggesting that-” Kame started, but was never allowed to finish that sentence.

“Let’s switch!” Jin suggested, already circling the car onto the side Kame was standing.

“I-I haven’t driven in a long time…” Kame tried to explain. Besides this area wasn’t exactly smooth the way roads should be and he didn’t want to dent Jin’s car…or worse crash it. They could get injured in the process.

“You don’t have to go fast.” Jin said, but as Kame still looked far from agreeing to the suggestion Jin decided to try a different tactic. “Of course if you can’t drive, it’s fine. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, if you just barely even got the licence…”

Kame’s face darkened, hearing that and Jin knew he had won.

“Hop on!” the smaller boy replied, a bit insulted, and circled the car to jump into the driver’s seat. Kame didn’t even complain about the driver’s seat being located on the opposite side the boy was used to.

Jin grinned, as he sat down next to Kame, glad that he saw a glimpse of the determined Kame, who had a special sort of aura around him when he got serious about something and Jin was pretty fond of it. He watched the smaller boy buckle up and turn the key, engine waking up. He was eager to see how Kame drove. Was it anything like him?

Kame knew from the instance he let the car roll off that it contained more horsepower than what he was used to. He decided to take it slow at first in order to learn how to handle the vehicle. Somehow it reminded him of Jin. He came to realize pretty quickly how this raw power he was taken forwards by was equally impossible to tame as Jin.

“Let’s go down the track once.” Jin proposed. “Take a left at the next street.”

Kame turned the wheel, directing the car down the unsteady road.

“There’s a bump on the way, slow down.”

Jin hadn’t done that, but Kame did. He wanted to stay on the road.

It seemed to amuse Jin as he used the blinker while they drove on the part of the track that was outside the gangsters’ blocks.

They made one successful trip all the way to the goal line in what was probably the worst time ever, as Kame had actually paid attention to the traffic laws.

“Do you remember the way back to our building?” Jin asked before he could park the car to switch drivers and Kame replied by turning the car to roll off into the right direction.

It was fun to be driving again. He had missed this feeling. Though sometimes when Jin looked at him it would somewhat disturb his concentration, then again he didn’t like it when Jin looked away either.

A safe return home later, they stepped out of the car still in one piece. Kame’s hands shook a bit as he handed Jin the keys back. That power had been amazing and tonight he had had lots of fun in various ways.

“You’re not that bad behind the wheel.” Jin teased as the leader stuffed the car keys into one pocket.

“But I would never survive a race, would I?” Kame said, laughing a bit until he noticed how the look on Jin’s face was different again. “Uh, I should probably go wash this off.” he added, gesturing to the make-up on his face and turned to walk into the building with Jin following him shortly behind.

“I’ll make you a special latte tomorrow as thanks for letting me drive tonight!” he called over his shoulder, as he speeded up in order to get to his door alone. He wasn’t sure whether Jin was following him or not, but it felt as if the older boy was. Maybe he was just imagining it, as he had noticed how he was becoming more and more nervous by the end of each date they went on and all he could think was would Jin kiss him and he was excited over the thought alone, but the more dates they went on the more he was beginning to fear their dates wouldn’t end with a kiss by the door.

Kame had barely let himself in and almost closed the door when a hand caught it, pushing it back open and Jin’s face came into view again.

Jin didn’t say anything and Kame couldn’t either as he just watched the other one back until Jin finally closed the distance between them. Why had Jin been watching him in that predatory way all day? Was he only imagining things?

The hungriness in Jin’s kiss certainly wasn’t an imagination. If he hadn’t stopped Jin in the car would Jin have taken things all the way? If he didn’t stop Jin now would Jin just continue?

Kame didn’t feel like testing to see, so he gently laid hands on Jin’s chest, creating a bit of space between them and their lips parted.

“Wait.” he mumbled, barely audible. “This is going a little too fast…”

Just like Jin’s driving.

He wondered if Jin agreed or if Jin rather thought it was taking them forever and that they weren’t getting anywhere. Were they at the stage where they should become closer already? Real lovers? Would the best way to end a date such as this one be to invite Jin in? Was Jin waiting for him to say those words? He wanted to make Jin happy, but the words wouldn’t come out.

Jin pulled back, allowing him more space and he could feel Jin’s gaze but at this point he couldn’t bear to return it. “I know. I only meant to say good night.”

Dark eyes met his as he finally took the courage to look up, finding Jin’s voice to be soft and slightly apologetic and not frustrated.

“It’s that make-up’s fault.” Jin added with a silly grin. Though that was a complete lie. The make-up wasn’t the only reason he wanted to jump Kame. Kame looked wonderful with or without make-up.

“Actually…” Kame replied, unsurely and Jin gave him a questioning look. He gestured at the edge of Jin’s lips. “You have something here…”

Jin lifted a hand to his mouth, wiping with his fingertips what area Kame had talked about. The older boy looked somewhat smug, knowing fully well where he had gotten that from.

“And some here…” Kame said, pointing at another part of Jin’s lips. “And…”

Kame found it pointless to keep pointing as it was all over Jin’s lips. He stepped closer and doubtfully lifted a hand to Jin’s lips, wiping the lipstick off a smiling Jin.

“T-there.” he said then. “All gone.”

Jin was still smiling as the older boy murmured, “Thanks.”

Knowing his cheeks heated up at that, Kame mumbled out a ‘good night’ before closing the door.

It pained Jin a little how relieved the smaller boy looked as Kame shut the door, leaving him on the outside.

Still…

Jin ran a tongue over his lips. This night had been a victory in more than one way. With a new smile spreading over his face, Jin made his way down the stairs to Yamapi and Toma’s apartment, still grinning for himself as he entered the living room, finding Yamapi alone on the couch with a bottle in front of him.

“Having a loser beer all by yourself?” Jin teased as he stopped by the kitchen to fetch one for himself as well.

“As if I haven’t won you plenty of times in the past.” Yamapi shot back, drinking some more and Jin uncorked the bottle.

“And I’ve won you, which was only to be expected tonight, but how could you let the Korean guys beat you?” Jin mocked, flopping himself onto the couch next to his best friend.

“You sound just like Ryo and his Osaka pride.” Yamapi muttered. “You have something on the corner of your lips.”

With that same smug smile, Jin wiped the corner, bringing the bottle to his lips then.

“Something tells me you got a winning kiss.” Yamapi said, turning towards Jin. “Had a good date with your Kame-chan? The way he looked tonight I’d boldly suggest you were inspired to celebrate and I’m amazed if you kept it clean… I guess that lipstick would indicate you didn’t.”

“I have to admit it wasn’t easy not to jump him, so I took what I could get. Honestly, he almost caused me a stroke when I saw him tonight. How could he not expect me to do anything then?” Jin said, taking another big sip. “How long will I have to wait?”

“Till your wedding night.” Yamapi had to say. “So I suggest you propose.”

“Shut up.” Jin muttered back.

“He’d look amazing in a wedding dress, I bet.” Yamapi added, not listening to Jin. “If you were the groom and he dressed up as your bride then people would actually mistake you two to be straight and let you get married for real.”

“Don’t get started on the ‘Kame is a girl’ thing again!” Jin groaned. “He is a man, trust me I know. He may be more beautiful than a group of girls, but I wouldn’t want him to change into one. I love every inch of him!” Jin added and as Yamapi chuckled, Jin decided a comeback was in order so he shot his best friend’s chest a very obvious look. “Your boobs have gotten bigger.”

Yamapi’s laughter died in an instant.

“They’re muscles! I’ve worked out more!” the younger leader snapped. “I’ve needed some way to release my stress that is caused by you living here!”

“You mean I’m not the only one living in celibate?” Jin teased and this time it was Yamapi’s turn to groan.

“Your constant presence here is slowly making all the three of us celibate.” the News leader muttered, drinking some more. “Why do I always have to experience your pain in first hand?”

Jin shrugged. “That’s what best friends are for.”

“Stay out of my sex life as long as I still have one!” Yamapi grunted. “And get your own!”

“The thought did come to me in the car…” Jin mumbled thoughtfully, removing the bottle from his lips. “Am I moving too fast?”

“Nah, you seem to let him have the hands on the wheel pretty well.” Yamapi said and Jin raised an eyebrow.

“You saw us when we got back?” Jin concluded.

“Isn’t it weird? You’re giving him the control in so many areas of your life.” Yamapi said, taking a sip. “You used to want to hold onto all the strings.”

Jin also brought his beer to his lips admitting, “Yeah it’s weird. People brush him off as weak and girly, because he keeps his true strength hidden all the time, but-”

“And because he looks fucking beautiful in make-up.” Yamapi had to add to his defence, feeling slightly targeted by that statement.

“But in reality he could be just as ambitious as I am to reach my goals. He has willpower enough to share once he let’s out that side of him.” Jin said and took a sip, placing the bottle down onto the table then. “Maybe as time goes by he’ll grow more sure of himself and he’ll show everyone what he’s truly got. It won’t be so easy for me to keep the wheel then…”

“Please, have you ever?” Yamapi chuckled taking another swig and Jin shot his best friend a long look.

“I so have!”

“No you haven’t.” Yamapi said. “Because the master is always at the mercy of the boy toy. That’s how it really is.”

Jin picked his beer back up. “Something tells me you’ve been bottoming lately. You’re so defensive right now…”

“Shut up.” Yamapi replied. “I’ll enjoy seeing the first time Kame puts you on your back.”

“Shut up.” Jin replied too and the two leaders finished their beers in silence.

~*~*~*~

His morning started anything but how Kame had expected it to by first persistent knocks by the door and the arrival of Akanishi Jin, barely allowing him to hear the proposition of “Let’s go out today” before the older boy already had him standing on the street in front of their building.

This time there was a bike parked by the street and Jin sat down on it, patting it with a playful look in his eyes.

“I thought we should continue on this motor theme.” the leader explained to his questioning look, handing him a helmet, but to his surprise he wasn’t allowed to sit behind Jin and instead the leader pushed him up front.

“You want me to drive?” Kame asked baffled. He had never driven a motorcycle before. Needless to say he also didn’t have a licence. Jin knew that. Jin had been there when he had first ridden one.

“I remember you telling me bikes fascinate you.” Jin said and Kame vaguely recalled having babbled something about motorcycles that one night in bed with Jin when he had tried to keep Jin distracted from sex. Was this a comeback? “You said you wanted to learn and that maybe one day you’d get one for yourself. I’m willing to teach.”

Okay, so he had brought this upon himself.

“Do you…even have a licence?” Kame was a bit afraid to ask, as he fastened the helmet on his head and felt Jin lean in from behind him to insert the key.

“Yep. I got it back in school already.” Jin replied, pulling back to sit up right, and Kame was kind of relieved to hear that. “Turn on the engine, squeeze the clutch with your left hand and switch to first gear. It’s the left pedal. Push it down.”

Kame doubtfully reached for the key.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked.

“Trust me, you’ll like this.” Jin said and Kame let out a desperate sigh, turning the key.

The engine roared underneath them.

“Give it a little gas with your right hand by turning the throttle towards you, then release the clutch. You’ll feel when you’re at the friction zone and the bike slowly begins to move, but if you let out the clutch too fast then-” Jin was explaining when the bike suddenly jumped a few feet forwards before coming to an abrupt stop, engine shutting off, “…that will happen.” Jin finished and Kame looked a bit embarrassed.

“Oops…” the smaller boy mumbled and Jin had to smile.

“Try again.” he encouraged. “Start the bike.”

Kame did like he had been taught before.

“Turn the key…squeeze the clutch and switch to first gear…” Kame said and the bike gave out a sound, engine starting, and Kame looked quite pleased. “Release the clutch carefully.”

“There you go.” Jin praised as they rolled off and Kame felt Jin lean in over him, holding on with one hand on the handlebars and helping him steer.

They went down some streets in the blocks first and gradually Jin let Kame steer more independently, helping only in turns and other difficult situations.

Jin leaned his head against Kame’s one shoulder, keeping his eyes on the road, but his hand had been immobile for the longest time. It was a strange feeling having given someone else all the control and just moving along to it.

Kame also felt strange, as he noted how little help Jin was giving him anymore and instead Jin’s hand previously on the handlebars suddenly joined the other one wrapped around him. Normally he would’ve probably stiffened and felt a little uncomfortable at the tight way Jin was holding onto him, but now his concentration went to driving, so he found himself not minding the presence behind him. In fact it was better Jin was there just in case he lost control or something unexpected happened. The gangsters weren’t particularly known for following any laws including traffic laws. Kame doubted any traffic rules even existed on these streets.

In a way it was as if they had switched places. Was this how it was like for Jin to drive as he held onto Jin from behind?

Time went by so cruelly fast, but Kame doubted he could’ve continued driving for much longer as they stopped outside of the diner a quarter or so before his shift would start. His hands were shaking a bit, tired from how he had held them in that same tense position all along, but on the other hand adrenaline still rushed through him as he jumped off the bike. He felt as excited as when he had turned the key.

“Shall I come pick you up after your shift?” Jin suggested and Kame nodded, a wide smile on his lips.

“But you drive.” he insisted. “I barely have energy to carry plates anymore.”

“Okay.” Jin agreed, mirroring his expression for a few seconds. “So, any chance of me getting that latte with extra creamy milk-”

He barely managed to finish his question when Kame’s lips suddenly cut him off. Jin was rarely caught off guard, but this he hadn’t seen coming. He could only stare at the beautiful face so close to his, Kame’s closed eyes and Kame’s taste on his lips…

Jin was still immobile as Kame pulled back, looking slightly bewildered and embarrassed, as if the smaller boy had also been caught off guard.

“I’ll just…go in and change then.” Kame added and Jin could only nod, staring after the figure that hurried inside.

Kame greeted the waiters on shift quickly, shutting the door to the locker room behind him and leaning back against it with a small sigh.

What the heck had just happened? What on earth had made him do that? Was it the adrenaline?

He bet he was even more shocked than Jin over his actions.

He had only used to respond to Jin’s kisses and advances during their dates, but this time Jin hadn’t even expected a kiss. It hadn’t been anything he had been supposed to do. It had just meant something to him. He had simply wanted this kiss.

Jin was already in the diner, looking eagerly at the menu when he entered it dressed in his uniform.

“He came in here a while ago and he’s been saying ever since that he can’t decide what he’ll have.” G-Dragon, also known as Bottom if you were Akanishi Jin, said to him. “As if we don’t know he’s been stalling so that your shift will start and he can get you to serve him. It’s fun to tease him, though.”

Kame gave his colleague a smile before going over to the counter where Jin was sitting.

“What would you like?” he asked and Jin beamed at him brighter than before. Kame had a feeling his kiss might have something to do with it and he tried not to let it affect his job.

“Am I your first customer today?” Jin asked and Kame thought it was silly Jin would be excited over something like that. “The latte with the extra cream that you promised me yesterday and then I’ll have something to eat too. You know what I like.”

Kame smiled, writing the orders down. “I’ll get you that right away.”

He stuck the note in through the opening to the kitchen, telling the people working in there ‘new order’ in Korean, before getting down to making Jin’s latte.

When Jin got it the leader seemed to enjoy it a little too eagerly, getting cream on his lips quite a few times in a row and at some point Kame gave up trying to wipe Jin’s lips clean.

It was beyond him how Jin could spend hours in there, either eating or chatting with gangsters or then checking out the menu again. Yamapi had been mocking Jin quite a lot recently about getting fat if Jin kept this up, but then Jin always seemed to have some comeback involving ‘man boobs’ that made Yamapi turn red. Kame didn’t quite get it, though. He was pretty sure he didn’t want to either.

As hours passed by his hands felt more and more tired. They had already been on a lot of stress today on the motorcycle that carrying plates and drinks was beginning to feel really tough. Never mind how shaky they had been at the beginning of his shift.

But Jin’s presence there seemed to take his mind off things.

Kame had noticed how he was in a good mood these days. He probably had Jin to thank for it.

Jin and Yamapi were currently lined up by the counter. Yamapi was trying to talk Jin into a beer, but Jin kept refusing saying he had promised to drive, Kame didn’t miss the meaningful glances Jin would send him while saying that, then the leader would add that it was still too early for drinking to which Yamapi would reply Jin lacked early when it came to drinking.

Kame hated to admit it, but in Yamapi’s company he got to see these sides of Jin too. He was glad he had the front row.

His eyes shifted to the door as he heard it open, the bell sending out a cheerful clinging sound, but he couldn’t hear it completely nor could he hear the two leaders talking anymore as he saw who it was that had stepped inside the diner.

The coffee pot he had in his hands slipped through his grip and fell to the floor, making a mess all over while earning curious looks his way, just what he didn’t need.

“Kazu?”

He couldn’t think straight and his face lost all colour as he just stared at the man, who had halted halfway inside upon noticing his stare.

“Who’s that?” Yamapi asked, having abandoned the previous subject he and Jin had been on as their attention had turned to the scene.

“His former boss.” Jin muttered under his breath, rising from his seat and that seemed to make the man turn almost as pale as Kame was. Jin didn’t even have to ask the man to get out, as the older one already left in haste, ripping the door open and letting it slam shut behind him.

It was probably a good thing the man had gotten away.

“Are you alright?” Jin asked, turning towards Kame next and Kame hurried to give him a nervous and forced smile.

It was first then he realized no one else would understand why he was behaving this weirdly.

“F-fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Kame managed to ask. He tried to behave normally, hoping he could cover up for his previous reactions, and he crooked down to the ground, not even realizing he was trying to brush hot coffee and broken pieces of glass off the floor with his bare hands.

“Kazu, don’t!”

Jin was behind the counter and by his side in an instance, grabbing his wrist firmly and forcing him to stand up.

Instead G-Dragon picked up where Kame had left off, bringing a bucket and rags to his aid.

“I’ll get this, don’t worry about it, Kame-chan.” the boy said and Kame realized he must still not look as if he was completely sane yet.

Slowly he released himself from Jin’s grip, mumbling out, “I’m going to take my break now.”

“That’s a good idea, Kame-chan.” another one of the Big Bang gang members told him and Kame stumbled over towards the bathroom first.

“What did that guy do to Kame-chan?” Yamapi asked and had Jin been thinking about anything but the expression on Kame’s face as that man had walked in, Jin might’ve pointed out how it sounded as if Yamapi really cared about the half-gangster of theirs. Kame had slowly become important to all of them, not just him.

“Exactly what you think.” Jin replied. “He tried to push his influence as boss over his employee.”

“So you beat him up.” Yamapi concluded and Jin shot him a look. “Oh, come on. I’ve known you for too long. If you found out someone had hurt Kame-chan you would kill that person.”

“You can finish my food.” Jin said, leaving money on the counter and snatching two sandwiches with him before disappearing towards the staff rooms.

Kame splashed cold water onto his face, hoping to calm down that way.

He hadn’t even thought of what it would be to see his former boss again. Of course he should’ve known there was a chance to run into the man again. Many had tried to have their way with him in the past, and one had actually succeeded, but somehow in the state he had been when his former boss had forced him into the shelves…

Kame shivered, drying his wet face before standing up straight to look himself in the mirror when something in one corner of it made him let out a startled yelp and he jumped a few feet high.

“Jin!” he practically yelled. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ll have a break with you.” Jin said, swinging packages of sandwiches in the air.

“But this area is…for staff only.” Kame said.

“No one saw me.” Jin assured, heading towards the staff’s kitchen a little too familiarly, making Kame wonder how many times Jin had been there without anyone’s permission. Kame followed unsurely. “Come sit down. I’ll make you some coffee.”

Kame sat down by the small table, watching Jin pour him a cup.

He wondered if Jin had understood just now what had happened to him and why he had changed job. His previous reaction wasn’t something he had wanted Jin to see. Either way Jin wasn’t mentioning it and he felt awkward, trying to come up with anything that could make the atmosphere lighter in the room.

“You’re really good at breaking into places, aren’t you?” Kame said as Jin set the cup down before him.

“How about I take you somewhere after your shift to get your mind off things?” Jin suggested and Kame shot him a look. What exactly was that supposed to mean? Did Jin know after all? “You know, work and all.”

“S-sure…” Kame replied in an unsure tone, sipping carefully on his hot coffee while shooting Jin glances whenever he thought Jin didn’t notice.

Jin was kind of disappointed Kame wasn’t saying anything, but seeing how fragile the boy looked now Jin didn’t have the heart to bring the subject up again. Instead he tried to talk about more fun things to cheer Kame up before the smaller boy would have to go back into the diner and continue to work, although in all reason Kame should’ve just gone home, but knowing Kame the smaller boy would never agree to it. Even Kame’s colleagues seemed to know that part about Kame well enough already.

Kame was a little quieter and seemed to have pulled into his own world for the rest of the shift, but Jin was thankful to see color back on the boy’s face. Nevertheless every time the door would open, the smaller boy’s head flew up to see who stepped in.

Jin thanked the fact that his fate wasn’t the same as that boss’. It would kill him to be in the older man’s shoes right now. He had also hurt Kame, but unlike that man he had had it easier. Kame didn’t turn pale upon the sight of him walking into the room.

As Kame had changed back into his own clothes, Jin was already waiting by the bike outside the diner.

“What do you have in mind this time?” Kame asked, sounding already better, as he stopped in front of the other boy.

This morning Jin had showed up and practically kidnapped him. What else was the leader planning?

Jin smiled, patting the seat behind him. “It’s a surprise. Let’s go.”

Kame sat down behind Jin, fastening his helmet over his head and his arms around Jin and they took off.

He felt much better already as he sat there, enjoying the fresh air and the way Jin moved the bike from one side to the other every time they had to make a turn. Today’s events in the diner seemed to be left far behind them and he emptied his mind off all worries, not even noticing where they were going or for how long they had driven. Jin was so nice and warm that he didn’t even feel the chilly air.

Although from time to time he’d be slightly uncomfortable about spending time with Jin, mostly everything went quite well. Surprisingly well… He couldn’t be feeling this good. He had to be deluding himself again. Why did he even agree to go out with Jin? Should he stop? He didn’t want to.

He didn’t understand himself. When he had finally gotten used to the fact that no one could touch him without him budging away and losing control over himself, he was suddenly getting weak for entirely other reasons? When Jin was close he was actually okay with it and it felt even nice, but he knew if Jin came too close he’d end up budging away, so why was he playing himself like this? Now some parts of him were actually craving a bit of contact with Jin, but if he allowed that to happen it would eventually get ugly, as Jin would never be satisfied with only a certain amount of closeness. Jin would want it all. Should he break this off before he’d get caught up in something too huge for him?

He was sick. That event in the diner proved it. He resented physical contact. He wanted to be alone and to never be touched again for the rest of his life, so why did this feel so nice? It didn’t make any sense, but right now Kame didn’t care about why or how. The thought of Jin pulling him close now made him smile idiotically into Jin’s jacket and he wondered when Jin would do that again.

Why couldn’t his body already decide whether to resent touches or like them?

Now that he looked back at the kisses in the car he couldn’t understand why he had wanted to get away. His mind had run off to dirtier things Jin might be planning and he had felt the need to put an end to it before Jin could fulfil any of them, but what if Jin had just wanted to make out a bit? He could kiss like that again. It hadn’t been so bad. It had been nice, Kame thought, nuzzling into Jin’s jacket.

At that moment Jin really wanted to know what it was that made Kame do these things and he fought to concentrate on driving as Kame’s warm body pressed against his.

Unfortunately the road to the destination Jin had in mind wasn’t long enough and he parked the bike by a safe spot next to the large building.

Kame opened his eyes, as he felt Jin shut the engine off and blinkingly took in his surroundings. “Where are we?”

Jin shot a look over his shoulder. “We’re at Seoul World Cup Stadium.”

Kame gave the big building next to them a surprised look. What were they doing here? There were no matches or anything being played and the stadium was closed.

And yet Jin rose from the bike and started to determinedly make his way to the side of the building.

“We can get in through here.” the older boy said, pausing for a moment as he noticed Kame wasn’t moving from the bike. “Come on, you said I was good at breaking into places.”

And Jin was, but should they really take such a risk? This wasn’t just any building - this was a huge stadium! It was where the 2002 FIFA World Cup had been played!

“I think it’s too late for you to constantly keep worrying about consequences now that you’re living with us.” Jin pointed out. “I know what I’m doing. Even if trouble arises, I won’t let you get caught. Trust me.”

Kame hesitated at that. Did he? Shouldn’t one be able to trust their loved ones?

Slowly he made his way off the bike and over to Jin, who grinned at him before leading him into a shadowed place of the stadium.

Against his expectations Jin got them both in unnoticed quite smoothly, leading him across the quiet building before they reached the playground itself. The light wasn’t very bright, but they could easily see where they moved and he doubtfully followed Jin to the field.

Jin whistled looking around. “It’s slightly bigger than our prison garden. Hey, how about some soccer?”

The next thing Kame knew a football was passed over to him.

“There’s lots of other stuff here too!” the leader exclaimed from the side of the field and Kame kicked the football back over to Jin, who caught it quite easily.

Things like ‘they shouldn’t be here’ and ‘he shouldn’t touch anything and leave fingerprints’ crossed his mind as he hurried over to where Jin had found the football, coming out soon with a baseball bat in his hands.

Jin grinned at him, kicking the ball his way, but higher this time so that Kame could hit it with his bat. The ball was heavier, but Jin hadn’t put much strength into his kick in order to make the impact as light as possible. Jin fetched the ball where it had gone off to the side to pass it to him again.

This was the last place he would think he’d be at, playing some weird form of soccer and baseball. His hands soon tired at the heavy balls and he released the bat onto the field.

“I’ve had enough, we’re changing! I wanna pitch!” he called out to Jin, who run over to him, but instead of taking the bat Jin took his wrist, knocking him down onto the grass as if this was American football and he had the ball.

Kame wondered what part of him was able to laugh so freely right now, as breaking in to places usually was not something he considered fun and relaxing.

“You make me do the most insane and irresponsible things!” he accused as he had managed to push Jin onto his back instead, shooting the boy next to him a smile so genuine it reflected in his eyes.

“I knew you’d understand someday what’s so thrilling about this.” Jin said. “But then again, you make me do the most sane and responsible things.”

“That’s not true otherwise we wouldn’t be here!” Kame giggled, falling quiet as Jin pushed himself to lie on one side. The laughter was long gone as he watched Jin right now and instead a creeping blush made it onto his features, as Jin leaned closer to him. He had to wonder if Jin had noticed how he was beginning to stand physical closeness. If he kept this up would that mean Jin would start drawing him closer more often now? Would the space between them eventually fade?

It almost did this time as lips were practically on his when suddenly out of nowhere a voice called out in Korean and a flashlight travelled over the field.

“Shit.” Jin cursed, coming up onto his feet and bringing Kame with him. “We’ve been made. We’ve gotta go. Now.”

Keeping as low as possible and staying to the less lit areas they snuck off the field and into the rest of the stadium, where they came across more guards, all now aware that there were intruders in the building.

Kame thanked the fact that Jin was so good at this, managing to avoid unpleasant run ins with the guards at work there quite a few times, but as they turned the corner to where they had snuck in the first place they were met by lights coming this way and they were forced to retreat a few steps back and Jin stopped by the nearest coat check, sending him over the counter and they came tumbling down upon each other.

“Are you okay?” Jin asked from above him and Kame gave a painful moan, noticing then that his body was unusually tense everywhere and it slowly dawned upon him how close Jin was.

“F-fine, fine...” he replied. Please get off me.

Instead of doing that Jin seemed to press further down into him, hearing footsteps approaching and Kame was beginning to feel really uncomfortable.

“C-could you please move-” he finally stuttered out as he couldn’t take it anymore, but Jin covered his mouth.

“Sch, they’ll hear us.” Jin whispered and Kame felt cold sweat run down his face. He breathed heavily against Jin’s fingers still on his lips.

Get off.

Get off before I lose control.

He couldn’t see clearly. He couldn’t think clearly either, but everything wasn’t turning as blurry as it had with his boss. At least not yet.

“J-Jin…” he breathed, more like panted, out. “Jin, you’re heavy.”

It wasn’t the truth, but it was the only thing he could think of saying now except for the obvious truth.

He couldn’t hear any steps, but he felt the hand cover his mouth a little more firmly this time and reflexively he grabbed Jin’s hand back to tug it off, which Jin wasn’t allowing and neither was Jin moving off of him.

It felt like eternity had passed until he managed to get some of Jin’s fingers to move from his lips and he could finally breath out, “Jin, please-”

At that moment Jin got up, lifting him to his rather shaky feet and helping him over the counter.

He wondered if Jin had noticed how he had behaved. Was he shaking like this because he had been so close to having an attack or because adrenaline was rushing through him?

Jin held him firmly, as they made their way down the corridor again and this time reaching the window they had come in through. They had barely made it out before lights again shone in their direction and Jin hurried to press him into the wall in an alley.

He felt the older boy lean his head into his neck and whispering into his ear, “Let’s wait just a little while for them to move and then try to get to the bike.”

Kame nodded a few times, not liking how close they were pressed together this time either, but at least they weren’t lying down now. It made things a bit easier for him to bear. In the midst of it all he still found himself leaning in towards Jin, arms settling around the older boy and he rested his head against the boy’s shoulder.

At the moment Jin didn’t mean fear to him, Jin was safety. No matter how freaked he got with the thought of having sex again, Jin still felt good.

Jin on the other hand was feeling a bit too good at the moment, not only having them pressing against each other so tightly, but then Kame also decided to look for comfort from him like this.

I will not think about sex right now, a mantra went over and over again in Jin’s head. I will concentrate on the guards. I will not think about how Kame’s pressed into me, how he breaths so fast because of me, how he switches position in that cute awkward manner and it always causes our bodies to rub against each other’s and me to-

“Oh…” Jin moaned against his will. He loved breaking into places otherwise also, it was some strange high, but to do it with Kame and hide together while knowing Kame was nervous about getting caught and… Jin had to grab a hold on the smaller body in front of him, pressing Kame even closer and feeling the boy jump in surprise. It was a slight detour from his plan of grabbing Kame to make the smaller boy stop moving and causing their bodies friction.

“J-Jin?” Kame whispered, trying to move backwards, but their small space denied the boy of that chance.

“Are you uncomfortable?” Jin managed to whisper in a close to normal tone.

Kame shook his head. “N-no.”

“Ah, well, I just thought I’d steady you anyway since you’ve been shifting position lately a lot…thought you were getting a cramp or your feet were getting tired.” Jin mumbled out an excuse and he felt Kame slightly relax, obviously buying into it.

“I-I’m fine.” Kame replied.

He felt like such an asshole, but he couldn’t help it and in the dark he dove his head down, capturing Kame’s parted lips and making the smaller boy once more freeze up a bit in his embrace.

He knew Kame wasn’t stupid. Kame probably recognized straight away from his kiss that this wasn’t your average innocent peck on the lips, but he couldn’t stop himself. The situation they were in hindered him from being able to get too carried away should he want to, so it was safe. He could give in a bit to his needs.

“J…” Kame tried to say between kisses. “J…in.”

He didn’t allow Kame’s lips to be free until he felt the smaller boy’s hands on his chest, gently pushing him backwards.

“W-what are you doing?” came the breathless question.

“Killing time?” Jin replied playfully before sealing his lips on Kame’s again, finding the hands no longer pushing him off and instead gripping a hold on his jacket.

“Jin, I…” Kame tried to say. “I don’t hear anyone…maybe they’ve gone back inside.”

Jin had preferred having the guards run laps around the stadium if it meant he would therefore ‘be forced’ to continue hiding like this with Kame.

“Let’s make a go for the bike.” Jin said and they hurried over to the vehicle, Kame more eagerly than him. He jumped up front, craving to take control over something right now and Kame climbed up behind him.

He wanted to explode feeling arms hug him from behind and on the way back to their blocks Jin made sure to drive a less slow than usually on all the turns, having Kame hug him tighter. He contemplated on getting lost, so they could continue driving and Kame could continue holding him, but they would probably just run out of gas with his luck. Better just bite the bullet and take Kame back, then do his outmost to stay on the outside of their apartment.

Kame probably sensed the thoughts that ran through his head as they came back, as the smaller boy didn’t know how to behave or where to look as long as it wasn’t at Jin’s eyes.

“I didn’t plan for tonight to be this adventurous. Sorry.” Jin said as they were back by the door.

“No, it’s fine. I was in good hands all the time-” Kame said, stopping as he realized how that sounded. “I mean, since you knew what you were doing I knew I could count on you…to get us out.”

Jin shot him a grin, leaning in to kiss the boy’s lips and also this time he couldn’t deny it was slightly hotter than the previous kisses goodnight by Kame’s door. He unwillingly pulled back and Kame looked at him a little unsurely.

Staring at the boy, Jin realized he needed a cold, cold shower.

Kame doubted whether or not to invite Jin in. The way he had reacted said that it wasn’t a good idea, but would he disappoint Jin if he didn’t? Wouldn’t he disappoint Jin more if he did and it was a disaster? His time of freaking out should be over! He was supposed to be getting better! How would he be able to explain his reactions to Jin then?

“I, uh, am pretty drained after all that excitement.” Kame said, pressing a smile onto his face. “That rush of adrenaline has made me really beat. I’ll probably crash the second my head hits the pillow. I’m sure you’re quite tired as well…”

He hoped Jin was and that Jin would agree with him on that.

“No, actually I’m always so loaded up after something like that. I need to get it all out of my system before I can relax.” Jin replied.

Kame’s forced smile died at that. Uh-oh. What now? Was that a hint?

“You have tomorrow off right?” Jin asked. “Then you can rest all day.”

That really was a hint, wasn’t it? Did Jin mean he could unload Jin tonight and rest tomorrow instead?

Kame felt uncomfortable where he stood, trying to decide what on earth to do.

Part of him couldn’t believe Jin was suggesting this to him, while the other part told him it was his own fault for dating Jin in the first place. He had at that time also decided his fate, that he’d give Jin a chance and let Jin close… Of course Jin would think then that he was over this thing.

Oh gods, what had he done? How had he let it go to this point when he had known all along how he wouldn’t be able to go all the way? Why hadn’t he just ended it with Jin? Why had he led the older boy on? He didn’t want to hurt Jin. He wanted to be with Jin, but he couldn’t do that.

“Get a goodnight sleep tonight. Maybe we can meet tomorrow and come up with something that isn’t quite as exciting as today,” Jin said and Kame blinked.

Say what?

“O-oh…” he mumbled, starting to be a little more relieved. “Oh, yes. Of course.”

“Really?” Jin grinned at him. “Then I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Kame barely had time to nod once before Jin had leaned in to give him one last kiss, less heated than the previous one, but Kame could still taste a certain want in it.

The older boy skipped off with a “good night” and disappeared down the stairs.

Kame stood dumbfounded for a while alone, staring at the empty spot Jin had just stood at with Jin’s kiss was fresh on his lips. A certain warmness filled him and it was making him want to betray the rational part of him that kept telling him to break up and date Jin if and when he was in a condition to do so.

Why did only a look from Jin make him want to agree to go down this self-destructive road for a relationship so surely to fail?