[In his Care] Chapter 79 ~part 2

[blue_orbs]

An hour later the two gangs and Kame had gathered in the backroom of their favourite Korean club as Yamapi steeped into the room, meeting Toma’s gaze first and then Jin’s.

“What’s up?” the other leader asked.

“There’s something you need to know. When I was checking for any reports or clues regarding either us or Mikimoto I came across something.” Yamapi said, placing his gaze on the only non-gangster in the room. “Kame-chan isn’t listed as a fugitive like the rest of us.”

“What?”

“It’s true. I even checked with Koichi-chan-senpai and had Gackt’s friends examine it.” Yamapi added. “Kame-chan is not on any records. I find it strange, but there are no charges against Kame-chan. In other words…he’s free.”

“But Masa-chan came to read Kame-chan his rights. He packed him in the car.” Ueda said.

“But he didn’t take him to the police station.” Yamapi pointed out.

“No, but Masa still works for Johnny. This has got to be some kind of ploy to get Kame-chan out from under our protection and then snatch him.” Junno insisted. “They’ll only use him as bait to lure us out too.”

That’s what Kame had thought too.

“I know for a fact that when we fled the country Kame was listed as a fugitive and there were crimes he was being accused for .” Jin said. “You’re telling me they’ve suddenly been dropped?”

“There’s more.” Yamapi said. “Kame-chan hasn’t been expelled from Todai. He is still on their records. I checked it out too. I’ve called our most influential allies and even the moles among the forces. They’re all saying the same. Masa must’ve removed Kame-chan from the investigation himself. No one but him and Johnny have the power to do something like that.”

TTUN turned towards Kame. “But that means…that you could go back to school and to Japan, to your family…”

Kame didn’t meet their eyes and they shot their leader a worried look next.

“I’m going to give Masa a call myself.” Jin muttered, leaving the backroom and digging out his phone as he was standing in the alley outside.

“Hello? Shinozaki Masa speaking.”

“Well, hello. It’s been a while.” Jin replied dryly.

“Akanishi?” Masa asked. “Long time no see, probably because you’re not in the country anymore. I won’t be able to tap your phone, will I?”

“As if you don’t already know where we are.” Jin pointed out.

“Well, it’s kind of hard to miss, especially considering the commotion you’ve caused with SM.” Masa replied. “So, to what do I owe you this pleasure? Are you looking for a job again?”

“This deal with Kame…is it for real?” Jin asked, cutting to the chase. “Why do you still list him on Todai and haven’t sent an order for his arrest?”

“I find it to be in my best interest not to make him an outlaw like the rest of you therefore I never expelled him even if I did make him a fugitive for some time. I was hoping someone would bring him back to me, but I realized by having an award on his head I was actually forcing him into your lives forever, so I decided to give him a chance to come back to his loved ones instead.” Masa answered.

“The same excuse as before then?” Jin concluded.

“I don’t want him there with you. I’d rather see him in school.” Masa said. “You understand that, right? He’s got a lovely future ahead of him, one he must be secretly dying for all along, and the only thing that stands in the way of it is you.”

“Yeah, and I’m not moving.” Jin replied.

“We’ll see about that.” Masa commented. “He made a mistake in thinking he could deal with your world, but it’s obvious he can’t. He’s stubborn, he wouldn’t believe it until he tried it himself, but I bet he knows now and you know it too. So let him go, will you? If you do, he won’t have to be part of this anymore. Unlike you, he could see his family again. Do you know how much they miss him? Worry for him?”

Jin’s grip on the phone tightened.

“Do you think you can replace all of that for him? Fill that emptiness?” Masa taunted. “No matter how big of a part of his life you are, I’m sure you’ll fail and that hole will only continue to grow inside of him. My aim is very simple. I want Kame-chan out of your circle before you corrupt him too. I don’t want a gangster with the hacker skills like his against me. I’d rather cut him some slack even after what he did to our prison.”

“How generous of you.” Jin said dryly. “Would you be willing to do the same for me?”

Masa chuckled into the phone. “I think we both know there’s no hope for you anymore, but he’s different. He hasn’t lost everything yet. If you stopped influencing him into making mistakes and getting into trouble with the law he could make it far.”

He hadn’t lost everything either, but if he lost Kame then he really had.

“You remember how after your releases from prison he was coming to see it my way and things would’ve ended between you two if it wasn’t for that Domoto Tsuyoshi case bringing you closer together.” Masa continued. “Well this time I’m not going to give you any reason to see each other anymore. I’m going to make sure there isn’t a single one. Should he choose to come back to school, he’ll have to follow one simple condition. He can never see you again or I’ll expel him and send the cops on his tail. He’ll end up in prison and become someone’s boy toy again. As long as he hangs out with you I will always try to snatch him from you one way or another, but I would prefer having him come out of there willingly. So if I were you I’d let him go and keep my distance to him, that is if you really do care that much about him and what is best for him.”

“Get off our backs.” Jin commanded, although he knew there was no telling this detective what to do. “I’ll make your life a living hell if you don’t let us be.”

“I don’t think Kame-chan agrees with you that being trapped inside your dirty blocks equals to being free.” Masa said. “You’re hunted like animals. I think he feels he’s back in prison and he knows he needs your protection just as badly this time around too. I wonder how far he’ll go to keep getting it from you this time?”

“Shut your mouth.” Jin snapped.

“Truth hurts, doesn’t it?” Masa answered calmly. “Let’s see how long he wants to serve time before he starts yearning to get released. Tell him I can grant him that freedom this time around too.”

“Don’t do this…” Jin said and Masa chuckled on the other end.

“Are you going to add a ‘please’ to that sentence?” the detective asked. “Then maybe give me the pleasure of having you admit defeat to me one more time? Want me to let you off the hook too? Will you come work for me and Johnny and leave your gang? I’ll have you know there’s no job openings for ex-convicts at the moment, but I’ll keep you in mind should anything arise.”

Jin swallowed hard, knowing no matter what he’d say Masa wouldn’t listen. Masa would only laugh.

“You seem pretty sure he’ll dump you, but I hear you have reason to.” Masa continued then. “You’ve toyed around with people for so long, played games and had it your way. It’s about time some of that came back to haunt you. It’s called consequences for your actions. Maybe the next time you’ll be smarter and fall in love with someone whom you haven’t hurt. Maybe then you’ll get to enjoy your relationship a bit more and actually be loved back.”

“He does love me and our relationship may have had some really bad moments, but that’s why it’ll get stronger.” Jin replied. “It’s not like in prison.”

“Yet you don’t trust him to love you enough to stay with you instead of jumping on this chance I have waiting for him and it will wait until he takes it. I can tell you were hoping for this all to be just a lie. How cruel of you. You’re still as selfish as always before. Deep down inside you still have what it takes to repress someone, don’t you?” Masa said. “But don’t you think I have more to offer him now than you do, master?”

Jin shut the phone. He felt like punching bricks again, but that would only raise questions if he returned with open scars. Taking a few very deep breaths, Jin saw it fit to step back inside where the others were waiting impatiently for him.

“What did Masa-chan have to say?” Yamapi asked as Jin came back to them and as Jin’s eyes met the other leader’s Yamapi could tell from the look alone it wasn’t anything good.

“He insisted that Kame could still return to Tokyo safely…and to Todai too.” Jin replied.

“I hate to admit it, but Masa’s original plan was to stop Kame-chan from joining us.” Koki said. “Kame-chan’s not completely one of us yet. Masa might want to stop that from ever happening and he certainly would get kicks out of you losing Kame-chan. Thinking like that it would mean the offer is real.”

“But it’s too good to be true!” Massu insisted.

“Yeah, it’s such an obvious trap!” Tegoshi added, supportively.

“I don’t think he’s lying.” Jin said, well aware that his words could tempt Kame to consider Masa’s offer. Everyone’s eyes turned towards him, including Kame’s. “I think Koki is right. He wants Kame away from us.” Jin added, meeting Kame’s gaze for a brief moment before the smaller boy let his fall to the floor.

Jin trusted what Masa had said? Then that would make the offer even more real, Kame concluded.

They all knew what it felt like to be separated from that other world where their families lived. Kame could actually return to it, while they couldn’t even leave the country right now let alone these blocks.

“So…does that mean Kame-chan is really free?” Maru asked.

“This probably means I could go home then...” Kame said and the gangs fell quiet. Jin hated how Kame called that ‘home’, how Kame hadn’t found a ‘home’ with him. Maybe Kame could’ve in their own blocks. “I mean, you took me with you because I would’ve been caught if you didn’t, but if Masa-chan has left me out of this investigation entirely then there’s no reason for me to be around you anymore. He won’t bother me then.”

A few seconds passed and only the distant beat of the music in the club area nearby filled up the room.

Jin’s hands tightened into fists as he bit back the urge to say anything, feeling Kame glance at him probably to see how he reacted to all of this.

“What are you going to do?” Shige asked and Kame didn’t know what to reply.

“But Massu and Tegoshi might be right.” Yamapi said then. “Masa and Johnny could still be trying to pull something with this.”

Jin met the other leader’s eyes again, knowing Yamapi was saying it for his sake. “Maybe. Then again they could just want one Johnny less.”

“Well, a Johnny-in-training.” Kusano laughed, flinging an arm over Kame’s shoulders, but the joke was lost in the heavy atmosphere in the room that was usually filled with joy.

“Either way, nothing needs to be decided on tonight.” Yamapi continued. “Let’s just wait it out and see for a while what’s really going on.”

Everyone seemed to agree that was a good idea and they disbanded back to the club section.

Kame kept his gaze on Jin, who was more or less led away by Yamapi, who had one hand on Jin’s shoulder in a somewhat comforting way. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, Yamapi had again become the one who ordered Jin drinks.

Seeing no point in going there and disturbing them, Kame let the other gangsters pull him away instead.

“Are you okay?” Yamapi asked as Jin had downed the first drink.

“Never better.” Jin replied, downing another.

“Kame-chan won’t choose Masa’s offer over you.” Yamapi assured. “He loves you too much.”

“Lately I don’t know about that…” Jin replied. “Part of him still wants to keep me at a distance and maybe even run away and now Masa gave him a reason to do that. What can I say if he wants to go?”

“You can say ‘don’t go’.” Yamapi replied and Jin chuckled to that. “You can always try.”

Jin didn’t reply, drinking a third one. Masa’s confidence bugged him and the detective was right. He was afraid that he was losing, but why? Because Kame had tried to run once?

I want to go home. I’m not cut out for this. If only…I hadn’t found you. I had a life again. My family, school, a future…and I threw it all away because I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought there was a chance for us. What have I ever known about anything?
Jin closed his eyes, not because of the bitterness of the drink but the bitterness of the memory.

He had gotten Kame to stay by a whim and just a little while ago Kame had been close to crossing the border again.

Maybe he should break it off. He didn’t want Kame to sacrifice everything for him. Maybe Kame really wasn’t made for this kind of a life. With him Kame could only meet his family in secret, having to run and hide all the time. Masa was right, there was no way he could replace Kame’s family and there was no way the detective would allow Kame to see his family even when they returned to Tokyo. Masa would make sure to keep Kame apart from his family until Kame chose the detective’s side, so in the end it came down to a battle between him and the family and he was selfish to demand Kame to chose him. But he wanted to win even though a good boyfriend would accept defeat. He had promised not to shut Kame out ever again. He had promised not to try to lead the smaller boy’s life or push Kame away. It was the last thing he wanted to do anyway.

He had downed quite many drinks as Kame finally approached him by the counter and took him back to the apartment.

“Jin?” Kame asked carefully as they shut the front door. “Are you all right? You’ve been sort of quiet. How much did you drink?”

“I’m fine.” Jin replied.

He was just great. He was breaking down on the inside of the mere thought of Kame even considering going back.

Kame didn’t ask any more questions, walking ahead of him towards the bedroom, and Jin didn’t want to talk about it either, but he knew it would be best to say something as it was surely bothering them both.

“Masa…said that he’d let you go back to school, but only if…you wouldn’t see me again just like when you were first admitted to Todai.” Jin said, removing some of his clothes, back turned at Kame. He felt Kame look at him. He hadn’t wanted to keep that information from Kame, because Kame didn’t only have the right to know, but it would feel like he was cheating the boy to stay with him. He wanted so badly to hear Kame say he’d never leave. He wanted to ask Kame not to, but how could he?

“Oh.” the smaller boy mumbled.

Jin wanted the Kame back who’d give up Todai in a second to be with him, the Kame with whom he had left to Korea with.

“Do you…still wish to go home?” Jin had to ask and he could feel Kame look at him again.

“I…I don’t know.” Kame replied. “In some ways…I’ve gotten used to living like this.”

He did a little. He missed his family.

“If you should ever…” Jin continued, “just tell me and I’ll arrange it for you.”

Kame was slightly disappointed to hear Jin say that.

“It doesn’t have to be on Masa’s terms…we could find a way…” Jin said, realizing he was talking nonsense. There was no way to arrange that. Masa would hunt Kame down immediately and arrest him or get him to accept his deal. But maybe he could arrange a deal with the detective himself. “Since your records are clean…mine are the only problem. But if you’d still have me even like that, even with your family knowing what kind of a person you’re dating then…I’d really want that. Even if it’d mean I’d have to go to prison, would you wait for me until I got out?”

Kame’s records would only stay clean as long as Masa wanted them to, so if he did Kame’s time in prison too then maybe the detective would let Kame live in peace.

Kame didn’t reply.

“I know we’re talking about a life-time here, but…would you?” Jin added.

“It’s not fair if you’d go to prison alone, is it?” Kame said. “If you went to prison to be with me, I’d confess to everything I’ve done too and if Masa wouldn’t allow that to put me away then I’d hack into tons of websites, get caught and come be with you.”

Jin smiled, hearing that.

“But let’s not do that as a first option.” Kame added and Jin nodded.

“Agreed.” he said, climbing onto the bed and pulled Kame into his arms. He held Kame tightly that night.

~*~*~*~

Kame was behaving differently these days. Jin had noticed it, but chose to acknowledge the air around his boyfriend as little as possible.

“What are you doing?” Jin asked as he stepped into the bedroom after a long day of usual gang business, finding Kame on the bed playing with some of his stuff.

Kame diverted his eyes from the lock and the wire he held in his hands, meeting his eyes. “I’m just…curious. I never really understood how people can open doors with just a piece of metal or a card…” He laid the objects onto the bed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to touch your things.”

Jin approached the bed, picking up the lock and the wire. “It takes some practice.” he said, pleased that he got the lock open almost instantly and didn’t end up looking like a fool in front of Kame. With a, slightly self-satisfied, smile he handed the things to Kame and got off the bed, opening the wardrobe to find something comfortable to change into.

“Jin?” Kame said in an unsure tone and Jin was quite worried lately to hear what Kame had on his mind. He turned around to meet the smaller boy’s eyes again, but his gaze was caught by the thing Kame held in his hands.

“Don’t touch that!” Jin reacted, spurting towards the bed and making Kame drop something from his hands just before his very well designed booby trap released itself. Jin breathed out a sigh in relief. That thing could’ve gotten Kame’s hand.

“S-sorry!” Kame said, as Jin took the weapon as far away from his boyfriend as possible, disabling it.

“So what were you saying?” Jin asked, turning towards the wardrobe again.

“I…quit my job today.” Kame said and Jin froze where he stood. “I’d like to do something different.”

“Like what?” Jin asked, missing Kame’s shrug as he didn’t remove his gaze from the shelves that were of no interest to him.

“I don’t know…just…find out if there’s something I could be good at.” Kame replied then and Jin slowly turned back to him.

Jin didn’t really know how to take this piece of information. He didn’t want to read too deeply into it, but why had Kame decided to quit just a few days after the news about his freedom had reached them? Was Kame trying to tell him he wanted to return to Tokyo and maybe even to school? Whatever Kame would want to do Masa would be sure to offer it to him if it meant to get Kame away from them.

“Well, uh…” Jin mumbled, searching for words. He wanted to sound supporting, not suspicious over Kame’s motives. “I think it’s great that you leave if you’re not happy. I’m sure there are lots of other jobs you’d be really good at.”

He wondered if he had said something wrong as Kame just studied him for short while in silence, giving him a small, not so genuine, smile then.

“I hope so.” Kame replied then, gathering the things and rising from the bed to head towards the kitchen next. “Anything in particular you’d like to eat before I head out?”

“Head out?” Jin repeated and Kame peeked at him from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I’d really like to visit the club tonight if that’s okay with you?”

Kame wanted to go out? That was fine with him.

A delicious meal later they found themselves at the S Line, where the waiters and other employees from the diner immediately hijacked Kame from him and Jin found himself left with the delightful company of Yamapi instead.

“Why did Kame-chan quit his job today?” Koyama asked, mainly TTUN, as the two gangs sat together, watching Kame with the crew.

“Kame-chan quit?!” Kusano asked and Koyama turned towards him.

“Yeah, they threw a quick farewell party for him this afternoon. That’s why they’re buying him drinks over there.” Koyama answered nodding towards a counter a small distance away from the gang leaders.

“No~ Why? Kame-chan was so cute in that apron!” Kusano wailed. “Does this mean Kame-chan’s planning on taking Masa’s offer too?”

“We don’t know that.” Ueda reasoned. “Maybe he just wants to try something different.”

“Maybe he wants to be more like us.” Koki grinned. “We could teach him lots of new things.”

“But the timing is just suspicious…” Kusano sighed.

“Maybe he got an eye-opener with this Masa deal and realized he was doing something he didn’t want to do.” Maru added.

“I don’t see what was so bad about being a waiter…” Kusano muttered.

“You just wanted to continue watching Kame in that outfit.” the rest of the gang mates sighed in unison and uniform or not, Kusano’s eyes were clued onto Kame.

“To Kame-chan!” the crew of the diner cheered together, raising their glasses.

“I’ve only been with you for a short while, but thank you all for looking after me.” Kame said, bowing before them.

“We’re really going to miss you, Kame-chan.” Hikaru sighed. “You should’ve stayed. We celebrate the diner’s birthday soon and it’s always a blast.”

“I heard you started the diner with your gang.” Kame said, turning towards his boss. “I’ve always wondered why a gang would run a diner.”

“There are lots of gangsters running bars and clubs and other places.” G-Dragon, a.k.a. Bottom, answered instead of his boss.

“I thought it would be more peaceful than assassination.” T.O.P. added with a shrug. ”Besides I’ve always had an interest in wine.”

Kame’s eyes widened. Assassination?!

“It’s really too bad you’re leaving.” Tsumabuki said, distracting him from his previous thoughts about assassinations.

“Just remember if you’re ever here and you need a job, you’ve got one.” T.O.P. promised and for a moment Kame really wanted to stay with them, having found friends among them, but he knew he couldn’t. He wanted to do something different with his life and he needed to figure some things out.

“Thank you.” he said, giving them all another deep bow before leaving the rest of the personnel.

Letting his gaze sweep over the crowded club he found Jin and Yamapi by a counter, talking amongst themselves while their gangs seemed to have a heated discussion of their own. Spotting a group consisting of two other gangsters, Kame turned to make his way towards them when suddenly bumping into someone in the crowd and almost toppled over hadn’t the person caught a hold on his arm.

“Thank you, I-” Kame started, when laying his eyes upon the person in question.

“You’re welcome, Kame-chan.” Se7en replied. “What a coincidence, running into you again.” the Korean man said with a hint of humor in his voice and what made it more ironic was that this was the very spot they had met in the first place. “Heard you quit your job. That’s too bad. You made a good-looking waiter.”

“…Thank you.” Kame replied, releasing himself from the other man. “So, who won between you and Rain?” he asked, dying to know the answer to that for some reason, and Se7en’s eyes escaped his for a while.

“Neither of us won.” Se7en answered. “We both lost.”

Kame had to smile. “That will put a stain on your records.”

“Tell me about it…” Se7en muttered, making his way towards the nearest counter and ordering himself a drink.

“I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.” Kame said, following after the man. “I was afraid I wouldn’t see you again.”

“Now you want to date?” Se7en chuckled. “It would’ve been too painful to see you again. I’m not sure I’m completely over you yet.” the man mocked. “I guess this is farewell, Kame-chan.”

“Don’t say that.” Kame replied. “You never know when fate will bring us together again.”

Se7en had to smile at that. “Yeah, you never know. But I won’t run the risk of seeing you in Korea for some time now, will I?”

The statement took Kame aback and he wondered just what Se7en had meant by that.

“People are talking weird things about you, but I guess you’re used to that by now.” Se7en continued, leaning in and making Kame want to lean away as Se7en was somehow dangerously close to his lips again. “I’ll just patiently wait for fate to play its role.”

With that the player, or possibly ex-player, drank up his shot and left.

“Kame-chan!” JaeJoong smiled, as he made his way successfully over two the gangsters this time.

“Hi.” Kame said, giving the Korean boy a warm smile.

“Want some Soju, Kame-chan?” some Super Junior members offered, looking as if they had had quite a lot themselves.

“Actually I have a favour to ask.” Kame said, turning to HeeChul, who gave him an inquiring look.

Kame had barely left the two Korean gangs before he was called upon by the Japanese ones nearby.

“Kame-chan! Come here!”

Kame turned to head into the direction of the tables where two gangs, minus their leaders sat gathered together and he had barely approached the table before Kusano flew at him.

“Kame-chan~! Why did you quit your job?”

The other News members fought to keep the wailing boy in control.

“Excuse him, will you Kame-chan? He’s been sort of down ever since hearing the news.” Tegoshi explained.

“How can I go on if Kame-chan disappears?” Kusano added miserably.

“Who’s disappearing?” Massu argued, losing his nerves with the fellow gangster. “You’re overreacting, I tell you! Overreacting!”

“But I want Kame-chan to be part of my life!” Kusano insisted.

“Thank you, Kusano.” Kame said and the struggling gangster froze to the spot as Kame put his arms around Kusano, hugging him tightly. The gangster still stood there shocked and rooted to the floor long after Kame let him go, giving them all a warm smile before excusing himself with a, “Thank you all.”

“It…paid off.” Kusano mumbled for himself, before continuing to talk in a much louder voice then, “All these years of being persistent finally paid off! He gave in to me! Kame-chan loves me!”

“Oh man, Kame-chan doesn’t know what he just did.” Massu moaned, giving up and sitting back onto his chair.

“How have you even managed to stay this stubborn about him up until now? You’ve never spent so much energy on one person. Sheesh, you’re as persistent as Akanishi.” Koyama commented, but to deaf ears as Kusano was not on this planet right now.

“What is it with players and Kame-chan?” Shige asked. “First he draws them in and then he defeats them, one by one.”

“He hasn’t defeated Yamapi, right?” Maru pointed out and Toma smiled.

“From what I hear Yamapi has tried to screw Kame-chan over big time ever since they met, but in the end Yamapi came out as a different person from prison.” Toma replied. “Like you all did.”

“Yeah, we were apart for too long, we all changed a lot during that time…” News members agreed and Toma smiled, resting his gaze on two figures by a counter Kame-chan approached next.

“Hey, Kame-chan.” Yamapi greeted as Kame stopped by Jin’s free side and he nodded towards the News leader before meeting Jin’s eyes.

“Can we go back now? I’m getting a little tired.” Kame asked, adding then, “If you want to stay we can do that too for a while longer.”

Jin liked the fact that Kame had said ‘we’ instead of suggesting to leave alone and let him continue partying on his own.

“No, I think this is enough.” Jin agreed, getting up from the chair. “Later Pi.”

Yamapi gave them a wave as they left together.

Jin enjoyed their walk back together even though they barely said a thing and even though for some reason Kame appeared to be a bit nervous. Jin was just happy for every moment he got to spend with the smaller boy. The recent events had enlightened him once more to treasure his life as it was of now.

When they were back Kame took a shower first and Jin waited on the other side of the door, listening to water hitting the floor and dreaming of a time he wouldn’t have to wait for his own turn. The thoughts of never getting there stressed him, since Masa would surely do everything in his power to make sure they would be separated.

He let out a sigh as he stood under the pouring water alone. Although he knew Kame was right in the next room he couldn’t help thinking that if Masa won then what an empty life he’d have without Kame. He’d be taking showers alone in the future then too. Slipping into a loose t-shirt and a pair of boxers, Jin made his way into the room in question, finding Kame dressed in pyjamas and sitting on the bed. The boy was so fresh from the shower some parts of his hair was still wet and he could smell the scent of shampoo as he entered.

He’d never see this sight again if they broke up. Maybe someone else would. Kame was so beautiful. He never wanted to give someone else the pleasure of what he saw. Someday Kame would be his again. No matter how long it took someday Kame would give in and he could do all the things he wanted to do to the smaller boy right now.

Jin cleared his throat, aiming to give out the impression he hadn’t been staring just now, because Kame looked nervous where he sat. Instead he tried to appear occupied with putting away some weapons, all awhile watching the boy through the corner of his eyes.

There was tension in the air, as if Kame was waiting for him to come and have it his way and Kame would let him as much as the boy could…just like in prison. That made him not want to do anything, but by turning back towards the bed and seeing the boy on it made his chest tighten and he found himself stopping before his boyfriend.

Kame looked up at him, that anxiety clear in his eyes and as Jin bent down he swore to himself he’d leave it at one kiss and show Kame he could do that, but as he tasted Kame’s lips he was tempted to break that promise immediately. With much trouble Jin managed to pull apart and Kame slowly opened his eyes again.

Did this boy before him still wonder what he meant to him? Had he expressed everything he felt for Kame clearly enough so the boy didn’t have to guess? Did his boyfriend really know how much he loved him? Maybe he should say it more often. Admittedly, he wasn’t very good at it.

“Kazu, I-” his words were cut off as Kame suddenly stood up from the bed and the next thing Jin knew he tasted those delicious lips again while arms folded tightly behind his neck.

He was shocked by the unexpected move, but all thoughts faded as he shut his eyes, circling his arms around the slim waist and pulling it nearer. Kame didn’t flinch away, instead kissed him harder, giving out a soft moan as he pushed his tongue into Kame’s mouth. The almost inaudible sound Kame made caused a tingle to go through his body and he gripped the boy tighter.

“Kazu…” he murmured, loving how Kame wanted to be kissed, tiptoeing to reach his lips better and keeping him inside an equally tight embrace, making their bodies press delightfully against each other’s. He wanted to bring Kame even closer, but he was afraid he’d overstep his boundaries. His hands were barely staying put around Kame’s waist and the quite inviting looks Kame gave him whenever they broke apart for air weren’t helping.

If it wasn’t for the fact that he knew anxiousness still hid behind those looks he would’ve stopped holding back.

“Kazu.” he said between kisses, a warning tone in his voice that Kame seemed to take no heed of. “Kazu, this is really getting me excited-” he wasn’t allowed to even finish that sentence, as Kame did pay much attention to his mouth but just not to what it said.

Jin was surprised by the boy’s behaviour tonight and Kame was just as surprised with himself. He didn’t understand why he so badly needed to taste Jin or what was happening to him, he just knew he had felt like this before. A force much stronger than fear was taking over him.

Kame had wanted this night to be special, but he had doubted it’d end any differently than the ones before. He could feel the nervousness still in the pit of his stomach, but he didn’t seem to be rational enough to acknowledge it. Instead he kept pulling the older boy nearer and he couldn’t stop seeking kisses.

“Wait.” Jin managed to say, taking a hold on Kame’s head and kept it just a few inches from his. His fingers were buried deep into Kame’s blond locks and Kame’s breath was on his lips. Kame’s body was so close to his in a way it hadn’t been for a long, long time. Truth to be told he wanted nothing more than to continue this as his body screamed for more contact with this boy and Kame’s behaviour tonight had only made that craving worse, but if this would make Kame wake up the next morning regretting it and hating himself for it…

Then Jin would rather they stopped now.

Kame just looked back at him, as he hadn’t said a word for a while. Those deep brown eyes studied his, knowing exactly why he had stopped them from going any further. The expression in Kame’s eyes that he had felt to be so inviting revealed itself to be longing. Kame was finally looking at him with want.

“I can’t wait.” Kame replied then, taking his hands and easing on his grip just enough to be able to meet his lips again. There was a certain need in Kame’s kisses tonight and he found himself yielding to them once more.

Giving in, Jin released his grip on Kame’s head, roaming his hands lower and feeling Kame tense at certain areas he touched. It made him suspicious whether Kame could really handle this kind of closeness yet. His boyfriend wasn’t pushing himself to get this over with, was he? He had to know for sure. He didn’t want to do anything to hurt Kame or anything to bring Kame back a few steps down the journey the smaller boy had managed to embark down now.

With a little more willpower he managed to pull away again. “What’s up with you tonight? You’re not thinking of doing something stupid, are you?”

Like force yourself into bed with me. Jin left that part unsaid, but he was sure Kame had heard it anyway.

Kame didn’t seem to like the fact that he was constantly being stopped. Jin knew what that felt like.

“I’ve been so stupid.” Kame replied. “All this time I’ve had you right here next to me and I’ve spent that whole time trying to keep you at a distance. I’m so sorry.”

Jin was at a loss of words, not expecting such a response and trying to understand what Kame had meant, but he could only watch the dark brown orbs fill with tears for a moment there.

“I’ve missed you.” Kame added then, saying just what Jin had wanted to hear for so long and after those words Jin didn’t feel very much in control of anything anymore, but Kame didn’t seem to be either.

He felt Kame jump a bit as he closed the smaller body tightly into his, dominating the kiss and finally letting his hands run free over the sometimes still trembling boy loving the fact that Kame wasn’t making him stop and instead soft touches ran over his body back, responding to his advances. Kame would never have dared to touch him if Kame saw him as the master now. It felt as if they were finally equal.

“Jin.” the soft call alone made his blood pump faster and he couldn’t possibly have kept his breaks on for any longer as Kame continued to drive him insane. He knew if he let go he would eventually not be able to stop, but he didn’t even want to act responsibly anymore.

Kame yelped into his mouth as he laid the smaller boy down onto the bed and he almost expected a hand to settle on his chest and push him back, but it never did and that encouraged him to go further. Never breaking their kiss he unbuttoned the first few buttons on Kame’s pyjamas and he loved the sight of Kame enjoying it when his lips then caressed the boy’s pale skin and certain kisses made satisfied sighs escape Kame’s mouth. He had longed to see Kame like this again, blessed with pleasure as a result of what he did to his boyfriend. It turned him on even more and he wanted so badly to take it all the way to the end tonight. He prayed for Kame to finally feel the same again.

He unbuttoned the pyjamas all the way down, letting it fall to the sides and reveal Kame’s chest, but he didn’t get much time to gaze upon it as Kame quickly brought their faces back together. One hand tugged on his t-shirt and Jin pulled it over his head, leaving them both half-naked.

He met Kame’s swollen lips again while running soft touches along the boy’s naked torso until he felt bold enough to test his grounds and he run his hand further down, feeling his companion freeze under him as it had run low enough and he stroked the boy through his pants. As in reflex Kame grabbed his wrists and Jin broke the kiss. They exchanged brief looks before Kame doubtfully let him go, turning his head to the side as Jin’s hand retraced its journey down Kame’s upper body teasingly all the way down and Kame let out a deep moan, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. It was probably an attempt to silence himself. Jin found it to be cute and he was keen on making Kame fail.

He slipped his hand in under the clothes separating their skins, causing Kame’s breath to hitch, and never stopping the movement of his hand he begun to trail kisses down Kame’s chest and it earned him a few louder moans. He earned himself a small chuckle as well as he then dipped his tongue into Kame’s bellybutton before planting a few kisses lower from there, stopping by the rim of the pyjamas pants. As he cast a look at his boyfriend Kame refused to look back at him, head still turned to the side, but the boy didn’t stop him from folding down the bottom part of the pyjamas, exposing what he had been rubbing to the cold air in the room. Jin loved it when Kame didn’t wear any underwear.

Kame grabbed the sheets with his free hand, the other still by his parted lips that drew in for air, as Jin closed his mouth around Kame’s erection, making Kame bite down on his lip hard and successfully holding the moans back, which just wouldn’t do. Taking in more and sucking harder he was able to claim victory as half-screams echoed inside the room, but Kame had seen nothing yet. He was going to show Kame just how little the smaller boy remembered about pleasure and he knew just what to do to push the smaller boy closer and closer to the edge while making him lose control of himself in a good way for once.

Giving up trying to silence himself Kame grabbed the sheets with both hands, already feeling the edge, but not getting over it as Jin wouldn’t let him.

The sudden lack of attention earned Jin a pitiful whimper and he sat up to take in the breathtaking view before him. Kame looked absolutely ravishing where he lied on his back, chest rising and falling in a fast pace, hair messed up and sweat pearls formed on his face.

Their eyes finally met again and Jin had to push back the urge to rip Kame’s pants off and instead lead them gently down the boy’s legs. Kame’s eyes that had previously showed no more sign of anxiousness suddenly did again, knowing what he was about to do next and as he leaned over the boy reflexively closed his legs.

One hand travelled softly down the inside of Kame’s thigh, feeling how Kame was tensing it, but didn’t hinder his hand from slipping lower. Coating a finger with lubricant he pushed it inside Kame as gently as he could, but the intruding contact still made the smaller body tense and some sort of panic flashed in Kame’s deep brown eyes. He felt Kame hold his breath, as Jin lowered himself to the boy’s parted lips, nibbling soothingly on them while he refrained from moving his finger too much, allowing the body beneath him to adjust.

Kame let out air in form of pants as he finally pulled out his finger, letting it enter the smaller boy again accompanied by another one. His gaze didn’t move from Kame’s face, as he slowly brushed the tight walls, stretching them ever so slightly and it caused Kame to whimper in protest until he pulled his fingers out.

He wondered for a moment if he was coming on too strongly. Kame didn’t meet his eyes until he hovered above the smaller boy again, uncertainty in his look, but nothing in Kame’s behaviour was indicating for him to stop.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. He wouldn’t go until Kame gave him the green light. Kame slowly nodded to him, but Jin had to add, “I’m not going to go through with this if you’ll regret it tomorrow.”

A hand reached up to touch his cheek, brushing some of his hair back behind his ear. “Let’s not talk about tomorrow.” Kame said and Jin leaned in to place lips on the other one’s, finding Kame to concentrate on everything but the kiss right now.

Legs hesitantly opened up for him and without breaking their kiss he eased into Kame, feeling the body below him tensing, but not resisting him.

Kame’s eyes squinted shut, while nails bored into the skin of his back and Kame’s free hand searched for his on the bed, mixing fingers with his. The ring that had been so close to coming off Kame’s finger a few times in the past now pressed against his as Kame tightened the hold when he pulled out and pushed slowly back in again.

“Look at me.” he breathed out as Kame kept his eyes shut. He needed to see what kind of a look Kame would give him. He needed to confirm that not a single thought of regret was crossing Kame’s mind.

Kame’s eyes slowly opened again, finding his and he saw that same anxiousness in them, but Jin could still find traces of want and need too. Kame frowned as he moved, but didn’t shut his eyes and Jin didn’t let the other boy escape eye-contact with him even as he leaned lower to kiss Kame comfortingly on the lips.

He wanted to give Kame love the way Kame had given it to him and he needed for Kame to surrender to him to do that. Kame’s body was still so tense, as if it wanted to fight off the intrusion that was him and eventually Kame had to look away, turning his head to the side again and biting down on his lower lip.

No moans in pleasure escaped his lips right now. Kame didn’t remember sex to have been this painful nor did he remember Jin being the size of an eggplant.

He seemed unable to calm down. His body wouldn’t listen to him no matter how much he tried to force it to relax.

“Kazu.” Jin said into his ear, kissing it softly.

“I’m fine.” he pressed out, managing to turn his head back towards Jin’s. He knew he couldn’t hide his pain from Jin, so he needed to let Jin know not to stop, “Stay…inside of me.”

He was counting on the fact that it would start to feel better in a little while and until then he allowed Jin to distract him from the pain in every way the older boy thought of.

This was so unreal. He couldn’t believe it had actually happened again, that he had begun to thirst for this and right now, as his body was slowly adjusting and the thrusts becoming gradually faster and deeper, he wondered what exactly he had been so afraid of.

Sex was…wonderful. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten just how good it could be.

His body trembled in pure pleasure, as Jin brushed against that sweet spot inside him. Their kisses were sloppy due to lack of air and cries escaping their lips.

Kame remembered so many times he had seen Jin’s like this; stretched on top of him with sweat running down his body, messy strands of hair hanging over his blissful looking face. Jin’s voice, moans…Jin’s breath out of control… He couldn’t believe he hadn’t even known what Jin looked like during sex until having been Jin’s boy toy for months already. The sight that fateful night had captivated him, just like Jin did now. The mere sight of Jin made sex even better.

He didn’t want this night to ever end. He didn’t want morning to come. He was slightly afraid of what would be going on inside his mind then. He didn’t want to think about anything, he just wanted to stay in this state of pure happiness even though he was beginning to yearn for a relief that finally came.

“I love you.”

Kame opened his eyes, the ceiling being the first thing he saw. Jin’s whisper still tickled his ear, but he couldn’t reply as he was still breathless and he lay there completely motionless, feeling Jin still inside him.

Jin breathed hot air against him for the longest time before the older boy moved his head further into his neck and kissed it once, pushing himself then up onto his elbows and coming into Kame’s line of sight. For some reason he wanted to look away, but got caught into an eye-lock with Jin. He felt so defenceless and vulnerable right now, wondering if Jin saw him through completely. That thought scared him a bit, but then Jin smiled so warmly and it was all he could think about.

Fingers brushed through his sweaty hair.

“You don’t know how much this night meant to me.” Jin said, voice barely above a whisper.

Incapable of thinking of a smart reply he pulled the older boy’s head into his, kissing Jin’s lips in a tired and sloppy way. The kiss broke momentarily by his moan as Jin pulled out of him, making his eyebrows curl together until Jin’s lips were on his again, kissing him long and soothingly.

He still hadn’t gotten his breath back when Jin finally released his swollen lips, rolling onto his back next and pulling him nearer, and Kame let Jin succeed, laying his head on the older boy’s shoulder and hugging Jin tightly over the chest.

As they just lay there, Jin’s fingers playing over the naked skin of his arm, he was finally starting to realize what had happened.

“Kazu.” the older boy said softly after a long silence and Kame didn’t want Jin to ask him if he was all right or why he had done this tonight, though Jin’s tone had already hinted at an explanation.

“I…” he started in a weak voice at first. He cleared his throat. “I didn’t want…”

He felt Jin look at him curiously, but he couldn’t return the older boy’s gaze right now.

He hadn’t wanted things to end badly between them. He couldn’t explain what had taken over him tonight. He was surprised himself he had come to go this far even though he had wanted to. He hadn’t thought he would be able to.

“I wanted nothing more than to be close to you tonight.” Kame whispered, planting a kiss against Jin’s chest.

Jin beamed. “Night, cutie.”

“Good night.” Kame replied and totally satisfied with such a perfect night, Jin relaxed his tired body, allowing himself to get drowsier and drowsier. On the brink of falling asleep Jin felt something against his naked skin. What Jin thought was a pearl of sweat falling from Kame’s face to his chest was a teardrop.

~*~*~*~

The next morning Jin woke up with a smile upon his face. He hadn’t felt this good in ages. Opening his eyes he found Kame sitting on the bed, back turned at him and clothed in a button up shirt. The figure stiffened a bit at his unexpected touch, but didn’t resist as he wrapped an arm around Kame’s waist, pulling the boy down to lie pressed into him.

“Morning.” he murmured, snuggling Kame and the body slowly relaxed in his arms.

“Morning.” Kame replied and Jin smiled, kissing the boy’s head, but the smile suddenly died as he looked past Kame at a bag a few feet from the bed.

He remained where he was, running touches over Kame, as if he was not willing to accept this piece of information and maybe if he doesn’t let go then Kame won’t ever leave this bed. But after lying there practically motionlessly in silence for ages that had gone by in a flash Kame finally moved out from under his arm, slowly releasing himself from his grip. He wanted to drag Kame back onto the bed, but instead his arm fell to the sheets and he remained in his position, watching the little figure get up and dress.

An awful reality he didn’t want to accept kept creeping upon him, as he finally realized why Kame had let things go so far last night. He was glad he hadn’t known. He would’ve preferred to stay that way too. How long ago had Kame decided to leave?

Kame turned back to him, fully dressed and it was first then Jin managed to get up from bed, snatching the first pair of boxers and jeans as he watched Kame grab his packed bag. Had Kame packed it last night before they had left for the club or had Kame backed it this morning while he had still been asleep?

He wished Kame would unclench that fist holding the only thing Kame was planning on taking with him where he was heading. He wanted to beg Kame not to go and take the boy back to bed, but he knew this was Kame’s decision.

He followed Kame to the front door, where the smaller boy slipped into his shoes and his jacket. Neither of them had still not said a word. There was nothing to say, as it was all so painfully clear how things were going to be.

He wanted to ask why. Why wouldn’t Kame stay with him? But he knew the answer to that one already. This wasn’t simply about them. This was about so much more than just them, involving many other people too.

Kame turned back to him, so close to him, but at such a cruel distance away he couldn’t shut out and he didn’t want to do anything that could make this decision possibly any harder for Kame.

Kame seemed like he wanted to apologize, but hardly even looked him in the eyes. Kame had nothing to apologize for.

“Maybe we’ll meet again someday.” Kame said instead and Jin wondered if Kame even thought it would happen. If Kame was going to attend Todai that would be impossible. He could never see this boy again.

As he didn’t answer Kame turned around, opening the door, and as in reflex Jin lifted his hand to grab the boy’s wrist before he could walk out, but stopped himself inches away from touching Kame. Unwillingly he let his hand fall back to his side as Kame turned to give him one last look.

“Jin, I just want you to know that I wouldn’t change what’s happened these past few years. I’m so glad I met you.” Kame said and although Kame hadn’t meant to, the words still stabbed him drawing out the air from his lungs so he could only part his lips, as if he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. There were so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t.

Then Kame’s brown orbs left his and the boy lifted his bag out the front door and shut it behind him.

“Don’t go.” Jin finally said.

He could hear Kame’s footsteps echo through the walls as he stared at the closed door before him. The truth tried desperately to reach him, but somehow he seemed to manage to block it all out and he didn’t move until he heard the door to the building shut too. The distant sound seemed to last an eternity in his ears and his gaze finally fell from the door to the floor, where his shoes were parked next to an empty space.

He should’ve known, no, he knew all along. Ever since Kame found out about his chance to his old life Kame seemed to slowly start bending towards it. It was very logical in fact that Kame had chosen this way. Everyone had their place in this world and he could belong in Kame’s life as little as Kame could adapt to his. He had known already when he had involuntarily started having a too hard time resisting reaching down and kissing a boy toy that this could only end badly and so he had tried to deny his feelings, then hide them and finally run from them. He had made one wrong move after the other, somehow letting Kame in too close and then making the worst mistake in starting to date the boy. It had been the official end of his life as a respected player, but more than that utter defeat stung the bitter experience of break-up and he had known since the start it could only end like that yet he had wanted to believe it wouldn’t.

Jin wished he had seen Kame off in a better way, the way Kame deserved: with a smile and wishing the boy a good future. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to do that. He was still so selfish. He wanted Kame to be with him instead. This was probably his punishment for the sin he had committed that third night in prison with Kame. The sin he had continued to knowingly commit ever since. He had known he had been hurting the naïve cellmate and he had never been able to make it right again. Only for that short moment when they had both lived in denial of what had happened between them had they been happy and they had both kept longing to be happy like that again, but they would never be.

Defeated Jin returned to the bed, as if Kame had never left, as if Kame had never entered his life in the first place, and he lay there quietly too tired to think anymore about everything that had gone right or wrong in their many relationships in the past.

Then later that night he went to the S Line as usual, where the music was thumping away like it always did. Nothing had stopped here. Everything went on as normal.

He didn’t even feel like having a drink, though usually in a situation like this he would’ve had enough to pass out. Nevertheless, customarily he found himself by the counter ordering something strong and drinking it up the next minute.

He got a few glances, like he always did, from people, who showed clear interest in him, but ever since he had declared for the whole club that he was in a happy relationship no one really dared to approach him.

A distance away in another part of the club he spotted his gang mates and their rivals, hanging out as if they were best buddies. It was the unfortunate cause of being practically the only ones who spoke Japanese as a first language here and they needed to change their attitude towards each other as soon as they crossed back over to Japanese ground, which Jin doubted would be for a while.

“Akanishi, you showed up tonight.”

He had hoped not to get disturbed yet he had come here. HeeChul eyed him, ordering a drink by the counter and turning to lean against it then, staying by his side. HeeChul probably drew his own conclusions of why he was there alone tonight. Jin didn’t care what they were and he certainly wasn’t telling either. He didn’t feel like announcing those news to anyone right now.

But instead of asking any questions the redhead boy suddenly held up a pack of cards in front of his nose.

“Pick one.” HeeChul urged.

Jin turned his gaze away, not in the mood for this and too tired to even state it.

“I want to know what’s up with you. You never had a second session. I guess the first one was too terrifying…” the redhead continued and Jin gave him an uninterested look. “Come on. You never know what you’ll get. Won’t you try one more time?”

“I’m not sure I dare to…” Jin muttered, but picked a card anyway, seeing it to be the fastest and least troublesome way of getting rid off his unwanted company. Besides it wasn’t like this day could get any worse by bad news from a fortune reading.

HeeChul took the card from his hand, studying it in silence for a while.

“So?” he muttered, as the chatty boy had been silent for a while. He wasn’t really keen to know what he had picked, but he asked anyway.

“Forgiveness.” HeeChul said and Jin shot him a look.

“Huh?”

“You’ve finally been forgiven for something you’ve wronged someone else. I’d say your fortune’s also improved.” HeeChul said in an amused tone. “Must be how couples work…”

“Yeah.” Jin mumbled, having no idea what the redhead was talking about. “Must be…”

“Kame-chan had a reading last night.” HeeChul explained and Jin refused the urge to tense his fist harder around the glass in his hands upon hearing that name. He’d only break it. “His fortune had improved.” the redhead added, remembering how Kame had picked the sun card again and looked a bit desperately at it before HeeChul had explained that it hadn’t been reversed this time. “Health, happiness and strength…those are the things that fate has in store for Kame-chan now.” HeeChul continued in a satisfied tone, but that prediction made Jin everything but happy. “By the way, where’s Kame-chan?”

Jin picked out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. Without answering he made his way out of the club, stopping on the street to light it up and he drew in deep, blowing smoke into the night air as he left the noisy club behind him.