(no subject)
I woke up this morning and I was watching Dawson's Creek and it was the episode where Jen dies. It really got me thinking about my sister and what I actually remember of her. Then I realized the only memories I really have of her are from pictures. Almost like I shut out the part of my life where she was alive to numb the pain...
Averie was one of the most beautiful people in the world. A lot of times I wonder what it would be like if she were still alive. Whether or not we would have an answer about her medical problems or her "failure to thrive" as the doctors called it. Would she still be in the hospital for weeks at a time? I hate not knowing. I hate even more that we have no idea what was wrong with her or why she died. And I'll never ever forget what she looked like that morning that she did die. Those are the only memories I have of her that aren't pictures. The images of her lying in the hallway and the EMT's trying to resuscitate her will never leave me. Now all I have are home videos that I can't bring myself to watch and pictures of her. I don't know why I'm putting this up for everyone to read because no one really needs to know about this but I almost feel I have to...
i think that was the second time she had to go to the hospital for a while. the thing in her nose is a feeding tube because she wouldn't eat and i don't know what the thing on her arm is called but she had it because she wasn't able to move that arm on her own for a while.
another one from the hospital
this was the last time she was in the hospital for a weeks. i think this was about 4 or 5 months before she died.
i guess my mom was allowed to take her for walks when she was at the hospital so that's what she was doing there.
at the hospital again
that a few months after she died. her daycare had a memorial service and all the kids from the daycare let go of balloons in "remembrance"
Averie was one of the most beautiful people in the world. A lot of times I wonder what it would be like if she were still alive. Whether or not we would have an answer about her medical problems or her "failure to thrive" as the doctors called it. Would she still be in the hospital for weeks at a time? I hate not knowing. I hate even more that we have no idea what was wrong with her or why she died. And I'll never ever forget what she looked like that morning that she did die. Those are the only memories I have of her that aren't pictures. The images of her lying in the hallway and the EMT's trying to resuscitate her will never leave me. Now all I have are home videos that I can't bring myself to watch and pictures of her. I don't know why I'm putting this up for everyone to read because no one really needs to know about this but I almost feel I have to...
i think that was the second time she had to go to the hospital for a while. the thing in her nose is a feeding tube because she wouldn't eat and i don't know what the thing on her arm is called but she had it because she wasn't able to move that arm on her own for a while.
another one from the hospital
this was the last time she was in the hospital for a weeks. i think this was about 4 or 5 months before she died.
i guess my mom was allowed to take her for walks when she was at the hospital so that's what she was doing there.
at the hospital again
that a few months after she died. her daycare had a memorial service and all the kids from the daycare let go of balloons in "remembrance"