Merlin 5.04 - "The Blood Will Never Wash Off"
My review/recap of this week's episode. Feel free to respectfully disagree with me in the comments. Apologies for all the food metaphors. I'm hungry...
Previously on Merlin…Smurf!Uther, Stone Henge, Poetry and Horseplay and Awesome Boys being Awesome
Morgana took last week of to house hunt. Apparently moving house is the most stressful thing you can do, so she’s frankly finding the simple task of killing Arthur a walk in the park compared to unpacking boxes and hanging pictures up. She seems to have found a place though. A nice little castle, with a painted ceiling and everything. It’s got no decay, mould or cobwebs anywhere though so she might not like it too much. I can hear the sounds of people screaming in the background, so it could be her sort of neighbourhood.
The castle actually belongs to Odin, or else he‘s just travelling with Morgana. We haven’t heard from him since the last time he tried to get Arthur killed. You remember right? When he sent a team of circus performers to assassinate Arthur and they ended up killing Uther instead?. Don’t you just hate it when you get ‘assassins’ and ‘acrobats’ mixed up in the Yellow Pages? Anyway, that’s twice he’s tried to kill Arthur. I’m sure by now Arthur’s contacted him, made the peace, sent him a balloon and some chocolates to say sorry for killing his son. The show wouldn’t actually use the same story three times in a row would it?
Ok maybe they would. Odin’s got Princess Em and King…Rodin, is it? Princess Em, who was the only good thing about the episode she was in last year. Really, actually the only one thing. Without her it was just an episode with Venison!Gwen, the worst writing for Arthur and Merlin I’ve ever heard in all 5 seasons, and a terrible clunky and dull storyline that makes the rest of the season look like it was written by Tolstoy in comparison. So it’s hard to say whether she was genuinely good as a character, or was just something ok stuck in a mess of crap.
So Odin’s got Princess Em and Rodin held captive in his castle. How many kingdoms are there now? I know I lost count some time after the G5 conference of season two. Arthur is one, Odin is two, Em and Rodin are three, Annis is four, who is left? That’s my puzzle for the week. Never say my reviews don’t challenge you. Princess Em seems to buy her dresses at the same place Gwen does. The House of Cleavage is making a great profit this year.
Morgana’s hair is looking slightly wispy and is getting higher by the episode. Living on the streets with just a dragon for company will do that to you. There’s some sort of wishy-washy plan that Morgana’s setting out to get Camelot. Frankly I don’t understand why walking in, killing Arthur and leaving is really that difficult, but then I’m not a crazy bat haired loon, so what do I know. Morgana says that in exchange for Odin’s help she will give him Arthur “to do with as his wishes.”
I frankly think I’m all innuendo-ed out from last episode, so I’ll let that one slide. Last week there was so much double entendre that I thought I’d stumbled into Carry on Camelot. Not that I’m complaining mind you, but if anyone from that show ever again suggests that that it’s just the audience reading into subtext, then I’m going to track them down and set my pack of Fighting Hamsters on them. Subtext my arse. The woodland snuggling and the moaning in the net, I guess could just be double meaning, but if there’s a post watershed scene of a man pulling on a black leather glove, making a fist and telling another man he’s going to show him how it’s done properly, before fading to black, then it’s not referencing puppies, flowers and a nice little friendship.
It’s night time in Camelot as two riders trot into the castle grounds. Sir Leon’s right on it though. The boy’s got his ‘Camelot Knight Guide to Procedure and Rules’ memorised down to a tee. He’s definitely got ‘Crime Prevention Badge’ sown on to his cape. Next week he’s getting his ‘Friend to Animals’ badge. One of the riders is Princess Em, who is pleased to see Leon, but looks a little queasy. He rushes to her aid. So I’m pretty sure Sir Leon is having an affair with Gwen and that he’s ‘passing through Queen Annis’ kingdom, so is he a bit closer to Princess Em than he should be too? Or maybe he’s not doing any of them, he is pretty straight-laced, that would totally ruin my head cannon though.
Leon shouts that they must get her to Gaius. NO!!!!! Leon, you’ve been there the longest out of anyone, are you actually trying to kill the girl? She’s probably just a bit tired from her journey. Give her a bit of Lucozade and she’ll be right as rain. Take her to Gaius and she’ll wake up in the morning without a spleen. Merlin tells her “maid” *winkwinknudgenudge* that she’s in safe hands and not to worry. Hmmm…who could that Morgana-shaped, fake old person be?
Merlin goes to tell Arthur that Princess Em is ok, but she needs her rest and can’t see her till the morning. Arthur’s looking very casual; wearing his loose white shirt, candles-a-burning, Marvin Gaye playing on the Lute, that sort of thing. Now, I don’t know if it’s a coincidence, but the last episode Princess Em was in had such a strange, sterile feeling between Arthur and Merlin. It wasn’t unfriendly, or angry or anything like that. It was just very formal. This episode, for the most part, had exactly the same thing. It was a lot to do with the use of vocabulary (how many times in one episode did Merlin call Arthur, ‘Sire‘?!), but also the tone of it. It had no personality or emotion or connection. It just seemed bizaare! Is this the same writer/writers as last time or is it just a weird coincidence. I hate it, I really hate it when they write Merlin/Arthur like this. I don’t care if they are frivolous and joking in the whole episode, or angry at each other, but it has to have some emotion and feeling.
Back in Princess Em’s room and Gaius has left her tucked up in bed with her cup of Horlicks, with just Morgana for company. Oh sorry…”the maid”…who then changes back into Morgana. Shocking. She’s apparently done an aging spell. Old news Morgana, we’ve been seeing that since season three from Merlin, who doesn’t look like he’s changing into a werewolf as he does it. What was up with that?!
The next morning Princess Em is telling her made up story to Arthur and the gang. It’s all very tearful. Morgana is also there, disguised as the old maid. As far as she is concerned, no one in that room has magic. She could just kill Arthur, he’s standing 5 foot away from her. Apparently though, as we’re only 10 minutes into the episode and four episodes into the season, she’s forbidden from doing this. Arthur assures Princess Em he’ll do everything in his power to help her. Which in Merlin speak means, go on a quest, get attacked, somehow survive, realised you’ve been duped and return home. He turns and looks at Gwen. Oh yeah, Gwen this is Princess Em. Princess Em meet Gwen. You may not remember her, she was dressed as Bambi the last time you met.
We Need to Talk About Kevin…oh wait Gwen, we need to talk about Gwen. See, I don’t like to be a sort of fan of the show who just thinks that everything with lots of Merlin and Arthur is brilliant, and everything else isn’t. I don’t think I’m like that am I? I don’t think many people are, to be truthful. I mean first off, I’ve got no reason to like Merlin/Arthur together more than I do anyone else. There isn’t some sort of secret bias here. I’ve watched the show from day dot, and adored them together right from that first episode, but I’ve always made sure the relationship was kept at a consistent standard before I praised it. It also doesn’t mean I don’t really enjoy other characters and interactions. I do and I say so. I just don’t think Gwen’s a good character, and if she’s in anything more than the outskirts of an episode, it just doesn’t work that well for me. Let’s be honest. I love this little show so much it makes my feet bleed, but they really fucked up with Gwen as a character and it can drag down an episode like there is an anchor attached to it.
I defended Gwen for a long time because I thought they were going to go the epic Lancelot/Guinevere/Arthur love triangle route. That all went to hell last season, so I’m not even bothering anymore, especially as the episode is doing my head in as it is. I don’t want her in episodes, she detracts something for me. I do love Angel, I think she does really well considering, I’ve got nothing against her at all; I actually feel bad because I bet she would have been brilliant playing a slightly differently written Gwen, especially if they had gone the love triangle route. Ultimately though she’s got no purpose. Arthur is king, trying to fight his own demons and rule the kingdom. Merlin is trying keep Arthur on the right path, while defending him against any evil that comes his way and keeping his secret unrevealed. Morgana is trying to get a kingdom she believes is rightfully hers, Gaius is the exposition fairy and a throwback from the time of the Purge and links the two periods and adds a depth to the fictional world. They are your main characters. Then you have Gwen. What is her purpose? What is her unique purpose on the show that no one else has? She doesn’t have one. They took it away from her when they threw Lancelot into that lake.
The gang are gathered in Arthur’s chambers for a little Map Meeting. There must have been a bit of a budget cut on this episode, as there’s no round table this week. Either that or Merlin still hasn’t got in fixed like Arthur asked him too. Interestingly enough there’s no Mordred either. Maybe he’s on some sort of Knight Health and Safety Course. After introducing the rather interesting character (brilliantly played by Alex) of Mordred at the beginning of the season they seem to have locked him in a cupboard somewhere, only to be played with when we’ve been very, very good, eaten all our vegetables and sat through all our Gwen and Arthur scenes like good little girls and boys, and not complained once about how they stink, make us want to vomit and leave a bad taste in our mouths. Merlin and Arthur scenes always (usually) seem like honey. Sweet, rich, smooth and leave a beautiful warm aftertaste. There’s a joke somewhere here about going down easily, but I’ll just pass it on by.
Princess Em tries to escape from Morgana, but fails and is pulled back by magic. There’s a knock a the door. It’s Merlin who has been sent by Gaius to deliver a draught to the princess. I think Gaius misses having someone around to drug up all the time. Merlin leaves, but smells a rat. Not literally this time, he’s just suspicious of someone who looks EXACTLY LIKE MORGANA. I can’t fathom why. He returns home though and he and Gaius are preparing a recipe they saw on The Great British Bake Off. Merlin’s got some Mille-Feuille on the go and Gaius is making some rose petal macaroons. Merlin shares his concerns about Princess Em, but Gaius’ Crème Patisserie is burning, so he quickly dismisses him.
Gwen’s had a right cob on at the Map Meeting. To be fair, the whole map planning did play out like an episode of Dad’s Army. Gwen’s nightgown is quite pretty. Hey! I can say something good about her! Who knew? She’s in Arthur’s chamber’s for some reason. I can’t quite fathom why. She’s ready for bed and Arthur’s dressed like he’s about to hike through the Artic. He literally couldn’t be wearing more clothes. Who wears chain mail to bed? Remember those patronising little scenes we got the last few seasons where Gwen would say something to Arthur and he would basically tell her not to worry her pretty little head about it? Well I have good news and bad news about that. The bad news is that after a three episode reprieve, they are back in full force. The good news is…nope no good news. They’re just back and as delightfully grating as ever.
When I see scenes like this (or actually many through this episode), I often think about the wasted opportunity. This show can do fantastic scenes with very little effort and some of the interactions between all different characters in the past have been amazing. Hey, remember how great Morgana and Arthur scenes were and how great their sibling dynamic was, and how it was one of the best on the show whether they were friendly with each other or fighting with each other. Yeah, that’s what we could be watching right now.
Princess Em manages to steal the key from Morgana and speeds off down the corridor. There’s no one about. Seriously? Merlin and Arthur couldn’t get a minute’s peace last week when they were trying to find somewhere to do their ‘poetry’, now the place looks post-apocalyptical. Morgana eventually catches up with her and uses a bracelet on Princess Em’s arm to torture her. I wonder if it’s the same one that she used on Gwen last season. Morgana’s a girl on a budget. Speaking of Gwen, she comes strolling down the corridor. I made a joke last week about Gwen appearing not to have anywhere to sleep, so she just wanders feral around the castle. Turns out I was right. She’s got no other reason to be swanning down the corridor in her nighty that late.
The next morning Merlin tries to get Arthur to call off the journey because he senses everything is not right. There isn’t an ounce of humour or charm about the dialogue in the scene, but the boys just about manage to pull a tiny bit out of it so it isn’t desperately mundane. I frankly don’t know how they managed to do it, and it’s so minute you need a microscope. My sister’s cat could write a half decent Merlin and Arthur scene, the boys excel at what they do so much, but this is dire. It really is.
Camelot Castle Road Trip! Everyone’s going, even Gaius. Well not Gwen. Maybe she gets coach sick. Unfortunately she hasn’t been knocked unconscious and dragged down a corridor again, but she’s not in much more of the episode. Frankly everything is so bad that I don’t even think it would make much of a difference if she was. Exposition Fairy Gaius and Merlin have a little chat at a stream. Merlin’s suspicions about Princess Em are still on going. It’s so exciting I can barely stay on my chair.
We’ve got our weekly Merlin and Arthur Deep and Meaningful Fireside Chat now. It not as good as previous weeks, but it is actually one of the more bearable scenes in the episode. They discuss how Gwen suggested that Arthur wanted to get revenge on Odin for killing his father, rather than to help Princess Em. Arthur asks Merlin if he would do any different. He replies that he probably wouldn’t. It’s the only slight bit of deeper meaning in the whole episode. I think it’s trying to say something, but it’s such an unfinished thought, that I have no idea what. Is it saying that while Gwen will assume the worst about Arthur‘s decisions, Merlin will always support Arthur’s decisions even if he disagrees with them? That he has blind faith in him? I really have no idea. I’m just searching in the hopes of something interesting. The boys do have a nice little gazing scene at the end of it though. It’s like they are trying to blink and gaze some meaning into the script.
Maid!Morgana is having a few Polyjuice Potion issues and Gaius comes to her rescue. I think he quite fancies her. He offers to give her the once over. There’s an offer I bet Morgana thought she’s never get. True to form, Gaius’ version of a full medical check consists of taking her pulse at her elbow and looking into her eye. Merlin and Gaius, who have both experienced Merlin taking an aging spell, can not think of why someone old would have the medical attributes of someone half their age. To be fair to them, no one come out of this episode looking like the Brain of Britain, but it has to be spelt out for them that it’s Morgana. Literally spelt out. Princess Em can think of no other way of mentioning she’s in trouble apparently. Another one who can cancel her Mensa membership.
Now on to one of my favourite parts of the episode. It’s blink and you’ll miss it, I grant you that, but I’ll take what I can get with this one. It’s literally one shot of Arthur with his back to camera, with the early morning light in front of him. It looks absolutely stunning. This episode has absolutely done nothing through the script, but some of the ways it has been filmed have certainly enhanced it.
I was wrong before when I said no one comes out of this episode well. The Knights, though quiet and too much in the background for my liking, actually come through it unscathed. Uninteresting, but unscathed. First up is Sir Leon, who appears to be the only person in the episode with half a brain cell and suggests to Arthur that they wait before moving on. Leon appears disappointed. He made a good argument and had a slideshow ready for presentation and everything.
Off Merlin skips down to the lake to get Princess Em some water. So in what ingenious way had Em let him know that she’s in trouble? A way she couldn’t have done in the past three days? Oh she’s written Morgana’s name on a rock *slow clap*. As plans go, that’s right up there with Gwen’s ‘go the other way’ idea from episode 1. Merlin runs back to tell everyone that Morgana’s in with the Camelot Castle Road Trip when she didn’t buy a ticket, when he gets thrown into a tree stump. It’s Morgana of course, noticing that Princess Em was as about unsubtle as…well getting thrown into a tree stump. Remember how Merlin’s this really powerful sorcerer? Yeah apparently not this week, despite being conscious, Morgana overpowers him. He doesn’t even get a simple little spell in, make a rabbit appear out of a hat, that sort of thing. I could kinda buy it if Morgana was her normal self, but we’ve already been told that the Polyjuice Potion makes her tired, so I see no reason why she would completely over power Merlin.
Hey, remember how much Merlin/Morgana scenes sizzled and how they have a beautiful dark and angry tone to them, full of bitter betrayal and stubborn power? Yeah, that’s what we could be watching right now.
The Camelot Gang find Merlin and take him back to their coach. They’re tired of the service station’s over priced food and want to be on their way. Merlin has blood gushing from his head wound. It was apparently a delayed reaction, as his head looked fine two minutes ago. Either that or Percival whacked him into a tree or two on the way. Arthur, confused about what could have happened, asks Gaius for a diagnosis. He tells him Merlin’s had a whack on the head. It’s like we’re in an episode of House M.D; the man’s medical diagnosis skills know no bounds.
So Merlin’s obtained a suspicious bum to the head and is sprawled out unconscious, which is curious after he was very vocal about something not being right earlier. I’m sure the Camelot Coach Trip will wait a few minutes or so till he comes around, so they can properly find out what happened. “We can’t wait for him.” Arthur! I know Sir Leon’s giving you a look like you’re already behind on your printed out itinerary, after Gwaine made you all stop for that woman selling fresh strawberries by the roadside, and now the M25 is going to be packed with commuters, but come on! Bradley did the absolute best he could with that line. It goes to show what a difference decent dialogue can do. When the same thing happened in season 4 opener, the script gave him a lot more to work with, a lot more opportunities to wrestle with the decision of going on. He ultimately made the same decision as he did here, but there was a little bit more heart and soul in it.
Hey, remember how cute Arthur and Gwaine scenes are? How Gwaine knows exactly how to push Arthur’s buttons and wind him up, but it respectful of him at the same time, and how Arthur both adores and is annoyed by Gwaine? Yeah that’s what we could be watching now.
Arthur orders Gwaine to stay with Merlin and Gaius as the rest of them board the coach. Is it me or does all of Morgana’s lines sound like ADR? Usually within an episode you won’t really notice it when it happens, or you maybe will once or twice a little, but with this one it’s like she’s a ventriloquist dummy who’s escaped. Her lips barely move for the entire episode!
Merlin’s still out cold and Gwaine is about 30 seconds away from suggesting to Gaius that a kiss from a handsome knight may wake him up. He even asks Gaius to confirm his diagnosis. Gaius sends him away to get some more firewood and I should imagine Gwaine is ringing the medical board to check on Gaius’ credentials on the way. Gaius waves a bunch of Tesco Sage Leaves over Merlin like he’s a beef casserole and says a spell. Oh, right, everyone’s a sorcerer this week are they? Except Merlin of course. God forbid, he should actually do magic.
Hey, remember how great Merlin and Gaius scenes are? How utterly paternal Gaius can be, even through his past mistakes. How they can sometimes have such a beautiful compassion to them, but sometimes a rebellious and disagreeing side. Yeah, that’s what we could be watching, right now. This scene makes a half arsed attempt at being one, but falls way short of showing any soul. Merlin, used to the foul smells of Gaius’ cooking, wakes up. Gwaine comes back with the firewood and literally runs to him open armed. Merlin’s more concerned about his boyfriend though, so brushes Gwaine off. Merls, I hate to be the one to tell you but Arthur left you there. He left you all alone to handle awful dialogue by yourself. It’s an unforgivable act.
Hey, remember when Merlin and Gwaine were friends and were awesome together? How you’d get the feeling that Gwaine would stand by Melrin no matter what and always be there for him, while flirting with him at the same time? Yeah, that’s what we could be watching right now. Even though they have a big long scene together, we don’t get any of that though. It’s just them running, no cute little moments or banter. I’m still unclear about what this road trip is all about. So Princess Em’s dad is hiding out in a tomb from Odin’s men according to her lie to Arthur. So that’s why they’re all going, to get him back? And Arthur didn’t see any inconsistencies in this, whatsoever? I like that Arthur is naïve and trusting, it’s an interesting character flaw, but when he’s passing by road signs that say ‘Danger! Will Robinson!’, he really should be a little prepared. Again, in a different episode it probably wouldn’t annoy me, but this one is just a bunch of bare bones with no meat on at all, so it irks me.
Merlin and Gwaine are running through the woods. Merlin, didn’t your mother ever tell you not to run with a sword in your hand? Leon, Elyan and the unnamed Knights stand watch outside the tomb/cave as Arthur and Percival take Princess Em in. And her maid of course, why wouldn’t they drag an old woman with them? Sound perfectly rational. Meanwhile, Arthur and Gwaine are hiding from Odin’s men who are the Generic Bandits of the Week. I have no idea why they are hiding as they all seem to be wearing Batman masks and probably don’t have a lot of peripheral vision.
Hey, remember how brilliant Arthur/Gaius scenes can be? How Gaius has known Arthur for so long and can say something to him in a way that no one else can. How Gaius is caught between both Merlin and Arthur and clearly loves them both, but doesn’t always do what’s best for them, even though his heart is in the right place. Yeah, that’s what we could be watching. Just another little reminder of what a wasted episode this is.
About twenty of Odin’s men enter the tomb where Arthur and Percival are. Again, this is one of the better scenes of the episode, but only because it’s visual rather than hearing anymore crappy dialogue. Arthur and Percival try and take them on by themselves and they give it a good old shot. Unfortunately though, unlike times past, Odin’s men don’t wait one by one to attack our boys, so they capture them pretty quickly.
Odin enters the tomb and Arthur’s got a quizzical look on his face. “I’ve waited several years for this moment…you killed my son….no, still don’t remember…I sent assassins after you…it’s me, Odin. King Odin!” Well it seemed like that anyway. So many people try to kill Arthur, it must be a bitch to remember them all. With that Morgana enters and now Arthur looks confused about why the old lady is pissed off with him. It was probably because he let Gaius feel her up. Morgana reveals herself to him though and he gives a look like he’s thinking ‘twice in one season already?’
Arthur asks if his father’s life wasn’t enough retribution for killing Odin’s son. Apparently they had a payment scheme worked out and everything. Arthur speaks for us all when he says “So be it.” Really at this point anything to get the episode over with. Just kill him Odin, give his head to Morgana and have her stick it on a spike already! Arthur’s not finished though. He says that Odin will not get away with it as his Knights will hunt him down and will not rest until they are done. Well as they’re all captured at the moment, I don’t see that being much of a problem for Odin to be honest, Arthur. Odin’s clearly encountered Camelot’s Finest before, so he’s not especially worried by that threat.
Gwaine and Merlin have reached the tomb and see Odin’s men surrounding it. Apparently they are even more incompetent than the Camelot Guard, as Gwaine knocks one of them out as he’s peeing against a tree. I’m sure there’s some sort of code of battle against doing that. Merlin uses magic…dear god he has magic…to rake some leaves. Oh. He then whacks a guard on the head with a sword. Wow, these all powerful sorcerer skills are breathtaking. Merlin enters the tomb and sees Arthur about to be killed. He mutters a spell which loosely translates to “Stay away from my boyfriend, bitch!”. It’s much more beautiful in the Old English though. He makes dust and rubble start pouring from the ceiling. Hey, maybe Morgana should move in here! It’s creepy and dirty, she’d love it.
Merlin kills a guard and Arthur’s shocked to see him. I should imagine the coach ride without him was a bit dull. He had to sit next to Sir Leon who recited his troop movement figures from the past 10 years. Morgana’s just about to cast a spell when Merlin sends her flying back against a wall. She saw that though right? I mean either she must know Merlin’s got magic, or she’s going to start to think Percival has.
Hey, remember how rich the scenes with the Knights are? How you have Leon who is so loyal and sensible, Gwaine so passionate and brave, Percival so kind and fearless and Elyan so wise and dignified, Lancelot so…oh oops. Remember how quirky their scenes are? Through all their faults how much they care and respect each other and Arthur and Merlin? Yeah, that’s what we could be watching right now. Instead we get a half sweet moment where Gwaine shoots a couple of Odin’s men and smiles at Elyan as he goes past. Again, it’s the visuals in this episode that save the day.
The Camelot Gang escape, but are being tracked by Odin’s Men. Unfortunately they can’t seem to find where they parked the coach so are having to run it out on foot. The old King is struggling though, and they’re having to swiftly kick him up the path a bit. Nice. Speaking of which, what happened to Gaius? Did they literally leave him at a service stop? I hope they remember to go back for him and don’t randomly find him still sitting there when they go on a quest in five episodes time.
They stop to kill a few of the Guards and The Old King kills one of them and tells Arthur not to look so surprised. To be fair to Arthur, the king did look a bit like an old woman waving a knitting needle to shoo away a cat. The Old King can’t keep up with the running though and tells Arthur to leave him. Arthur tells him that it’s really not going to happen because he’s the reason we had to sit through this whole bloody episode. They’re taking him back if they have to drag him by his ears.
Merlin and Arthur create a diversion so Princess Em and her dad can get away. Again, visually this is a nice little scene and continues as a good fight to watch between Arthur and Odin. The episode then has to go spoil it by putting dialogue into though. This episode has made me wish that they never invented talking films. “Arthur, stop. Think about what you are doing!” A little bit embarrassing for Arthur to have Merlin scold him like he’s his mother. In front of another King and everything. He’ll send him to the naughty step in a minute. I guess it’s nice that he’s listening to Merlin’s council and in the scheme of the episode it’s actually not a bad scene, again, definitely one of the better ones. If there had been a bit more of a build up to it within the episode, I think it actually could have been a fantastic scene. Although it doesn't do it as well, the equality between Merlin and Arthur within the episode and the scene is certainly evident, so it's nice that that's being continuously referenced thoughout the season. I does seem like conciously, or not, Merlin is the one who Arthur is listening to and trusting. He has faith in Merlin to let him know that it's ok to follow his heart. That I like. We can put that in the very empty 'pro list' for this episode.
Arthur lets Odin free and calls a truce. I wouldn’t care that this is something we already know about Arthur; that he is trusting and forgiving and gives people second chances, if there was any other sort of characterisation through the rest of the episode. Any sort of emotional turmoil or dilemma that he had to go through. Any sort of self questioning, would have been grand. Really, I would have taken anything and given it the benefit of the doubt. But because Arthur was basically a zombie for most of the episode, this scene had no sort of feeling or meaning behind it whatsoever. It just wasn’t relevant to the episode. This wasn’t something new that he had to overcome. Arthur’s a sweetheart, we know that…what else? I need something else with that. It’s like having a sandwich with no filling, you’re just left with two pieces of bread.
Back at Camelot and Gaius is wrapping up The Old King’s wound. Poor sod, I hope he’s got life insurance for Princess Em’s sake. Arthur comes in and flirts with Em a bit and gives her one of those manly pats on the arm he usually shares with Gwen. Speaking of which, we get a delightful little scene where Gwen and Arthur stroll hand in hand down the corridor. She tells him she’s proud of him and he makes a little joke about Merlin’s help. It’s all very sweet, lovely and dull. Or maybe just dull.
Thankfully though we don’t have to end the episode on that note and we get another Merlin and Gaius scene. Someone must have gone back and picked Gaius up from the service station. Either that or he hitch hiked home. Merlin’s concerned about Morgana’s powers. Gaius says that she is not equal to Merlin. Well…you weren’t there Gaius, she seemed pretty equal to me. They could have done something to make it a bit more obvious that Merlin’s got better powers.
For me there are three types of Merlin episodes. The best ones are the ones that have Arthur and Merlin at it’s core, battling their inner demons. They are super dark, but combat that with some lovely changes of tone with the comedy. The second type is the ‘epic’ ones. They’re usually limited to season openers and finales, but can come mid-season. These are basically what I call “everything but the kitchen sink” episodes. They are very actiony, have a lot of fights and great scenery and really try to squeeze out the drama. I like these. I wouldn’t want them every week, but who doesn’t love a bit of snow and fire now and then? The third type is everything else. They stray off the path and loose their focus. They vary in success from ‘okay’ episodes to ‘dear god shoot me now’ episodes.
This definitely fell quite firmly into the third category. It’s lost it’s path again. I said it last week (and the week before…and before that) but I’ll say it again, they’ve got to keep Arthur and Merlin as the core. This had nothing to do with them. There was a tiny bit about Arthur choosing to let Odin go, but it wasn’t a developed idea or a real dilemma for Arthur. This was such a mundane story. Morgana tries a plan to take over Camelot. Simple stories can sometimes work brilliantly, but you have to add something to them with the characters and within the dialogue.
There weren’t that many good points for me. I did think that visually, some of the scenes were great. I really enjoyed those. Apart from that though, nothing. Morgana aged as Hilda didn’t work. It didn’t have the same changes of tone and scope that it has when Merlin is Dragoon. It was nice to have Princess Em back, but they seemed to turn her a bit into Gwen for the episode. Merlin and Arthur’s interactions were barely passable, which is a rare occurrence. Without the fact the boys were trying to drag anything they could out of it, they would have been atrocious. There’s not much else to say about this episode. It was like ordering a chicken in a restaurant and them bringing you a plate with a carcass on it. It had the bare bones there, but nothing more. No tasty meat, no crispy skin, just a real lack of substance.
Right, let’s make a deal. We’ll pretend this episode never happened ok? But if next week’s hasn’t got back on the same track as the first three episodes, then I’m sending around the Hamsters for real, and shit’s gonna go down…
Next week…Dragons and Mordred back. It looks better, but I’ll treat it like a clean slate.