please ignore my journal, its under construction.....

so school is already cancled for tomarrow, and i'm ober excited, i played in the snow tonight, it was fun, i really think that i'm at my happiest playing in the snow at night, and i love it when we get wet snow like today then it drapes its self all over the tree brances making me feel like no matter where i turn theres this beautiful fantasy ice ( Read more... )

I just finished reading the book jessica sugested i read, it was called poison study and it was awesome, but i really am msick of falling in love with these charactures that arent real, i guess i just want to be loved, truly loved, i have an empty hole, its been there for a long time but i want it to be filled, ben or nick or someone new, i dont ( Read more... )

ok so yesterday i wrote an e-mail to matt saying i was sorry for making him think i wanted to have sex with him, well he e-mails me back saying its ok, then today he gets online and ims me calling me an ass and saying i'm a hypocrit for saying i was sorry for putting thoughts in his head when i was really calling him an ass while telling him i ( Read more... )

ok so i went X-mas shopping with debbie today, and i got most everyone on my list, and then we went to high land house for pizza because nick biesard works there and i've had a crush on him since last year, well any way i order the pizza and i went to the dollar ware house next door to look around and waste time waiting gor the pizza, well i bought ( Read more... )

I talked to shawn! its been like forever since i talked to him ( Read more... )

I'm sitting on this ledge, I can go as easily to the right as i can the left, the left is a deep dark depression, but the right is an all ppowerful i dont need anyone like him, as of right now i'm swaying from one side to the other, i dont know when i will fall or what side i will fall to, i'm torn between the feelings of hateand the feeling of ( Read more... )

I bleed in three litle words, Lies, Alone and Lost, i find that i no longer have a soul, and that i no longer want to live, so long i've sat down and taken everything, the hate, the blam, the problems, well guess what folks? I'm standing up and walking away, my life i find is rather bland and this world does not need me, i'm the gift that no body ( Read more... )

i thought i was cold, call me when you grow up is even colder, i did nothing wrong, i'm sick of it all, everything i do is wrong everything i say is wrong, i've cried an ocean of tears for him and he doesnt even bother to say he is sorry for any of it, i died the day he walked away, i suffer for his black soul, i thought troy was bi polar, i guess ( Read more... )

I want to go to the show, but i wont, i have to work tomorrow and its too late now, i dunno i just really didnt feel like getting torn limb from limb but matts girlfriends, they really dont like my exsisitance, oh wow i found the birthday card that i lost, that i was gonna give matt, i should give it to him, it was funny, well it still is, lol i'll ( Read more... )