well, it is definately a bad day. I got a call from Bobbie.. that is veronica and janell's mom. janell is in the hospital.... and she seems to be getting worse. they admitted her and it doesnt look like she will be getting out anytime soon... janell has been my friend since i was in diappers. i knew her before i could even speak. and to think that ( Read more... )

well today nothing interesting has happened in the past couple of days, to be honest the only thing i have done all week would have to be going with aron to get his new checking account. but other then that i dont know of anything i have done. i'll write again if anything interesting ever happens to me.

well today, i dont think i could ever feel so lonely... i dont think i have ever been this lonely before. you would think i would be use to it. but im not. becuase now, i get the feeling that david doesnt love me... he lusts me.. he says that sex with melissa sucks so i think he was looking for a time with good sex... and that is all he wanted out ( Read more... )

well looks like i will be calling danny on my b-day... davids getting a place melissa and now i am out of the picture.. i got one day of when i was truely happy.... and i will never get it again.... god i feel like crying... how pathetic... i hate myself, i just wasted so much of my life.... for one day.... i know one thing though... im always ( Read more... )

well i saw david yesterday and i already miss him like mad... how sad is that? lol. the scary thing is... after spending time with him, i was actually able to sleep with out meds. i just felt like he was still holding me... it was a wierd feeling for me... never felt like that before in my life.... but hey im happy (which is wierd too). it might be ( Read more... )

well i guess in a way david was right. if i dont get out of here soon, i might end up doing something stupid. i now know how much of a danger i am to myself... i cut again, and i am totaly disapointed in myself but the worst part is, that my therapist said that any deeper and i would have killed myself... maybe subconciously i wanted too... wouldnt ( Read more... )

well I have been thinking... and I am starting to think that maybe waiting for david for the one millionth time, isnt a good idea. maybe i should try to find someone else who can make me as happy as he can. (I doubt someone can but it never hurt to try, i mean look at how easily i was replaced, maybe i can replace him too) I mean I would give my ( Read more... )

well im heading back to being fat. and now i am depressed. i worked so hard to look good and be comfortable in my own body and now it is slowly slipping away. i dont think i will evey be happy about how i look and i guess it just isnt meant to be. you know that thing that is just too good to be true, i have alot of that in my life.... i get things ( Read more... )

well life isnt that bad right now, i got danny's letter yesterday and now i am hyper as hell all over a couple peices of paper lol. guess it shows how much i miss her. but i will see here in april and that is all that counts. its good to know that she still cares and is still here for me unlike most people in my life who have given up on me. i ( Read more... )

well... i guess we all know how crappy things are for me.... who thought they could get worse... i was seriously violated by one of those fuckers at school. i had to leave early or else i was going to literaly kill the fucker. i have a meeting with the school principle and the guys parents. i hoping this fucker gets expeled. to be onest he is lucky ( Read more... )