(no subject)
I'm doing a lot better on the whole situation of Mr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ engaging in sexual intercourse with a ugly whore at the resent Per Leroy party.
Althought we had been offically not "together" for like a week, anyone who knows Evan and I's relationship knew we are basiclly together when we say we arn't. I was hurt really bad, you know only how it feels if it has happened to you. There isnt really a practical way to describe it.
Evan is the first person to ever really let me down in my life, so its double the pain because its all new.
I was think that is my turn to suffer and learn from it. Like I said life as treated me pretty well until now and I guess its just time to grow up.
I was also thinking that I'm lucky it was a meaningless one night stand and atleast they didnt think they loved eachother or wanted to have a relationship.
If Evan really had feeling for this bitch I dont know what I would do. I mean when i was with John I really thought I loved him, I can't imagine what that did to Evan.
I'm not really mad, we are humans and shit happened. I'm just disappointed. Not only in Evan, but in myself. I have allowed myself to go absolutly crazy over this, and there really isnt a point. I'm not going to leave him for this, this time. And I can't stay mad, he knows how hurt I am, and its time to think about different things.
Like...trying to get into UW or Western for my sophmore year.
It just really sucks that something like this has made me realized how much i really love Evan.
THISSUCKS