Hi there! I'll be your editor today. I'm really sorry about how late it's come in. *offers a cookie*
Detailed editing: They were guardians, of a sort, each holding sway over a galactic protectorate. -Consider removing the first comma, so that the sentence flows together.
I can't say much about other regions of space, but long ago, when the Earth was young, ours was destroyed-This sentence is confusing because although the previous sentence makes it clear that it's the protectors that are being destroyed, this sentence makes it sound like it is our region of space that is destroyed - which doesn't make sense
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Detailed editing:
They were guardians, of a sort, each holding sway over a galactic protectorate.
-Consider removing the first comma, so that the sentence flows together.
I can't say much about other regions of space, but long ago, when the Earth was young, ours was destroyed-This sentence is confusing because although the previous sentence makes it clear that it's the protectors that are being destroyed, this sentence makes it sound like it is our region of space that is destroyed - which doesn't make sense ( ... )
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