Fic: Through a Glass, Badassly (Glee, Puck/Finn, Puck/Puck)
Title: Through a Glass, Badassly
Pairings: Puck/Finn, Puck/Puck (really)
Rating: R
Word Count: ~6000
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me
Summary: There’s a new Puck in town, and he’s determined to make sure Puck returns to his badass bullying ways.
Warnings: Overuse of the word ‘badass’
A/N: Many thanks to mintyfiend for the betaing and ideas. All remaining mistakes are mine. I’m classing this as my free space fill on my au_bingo card because although there isn’t a doppelganger category I think it fits the definition of a Fantasy/Supernatural Other category.
“I didn’t do it.”
Figgins sighed. “Mr Puckerman,” he said, leaning forward. “We have several eye witnesses that say you did.”
Puck shook his head. “They’re lying.”
“Why would they lie, Mr Puckerman?”
Puck shrugged. “Because they’re jealous that I’m a badass? Because I used to throw- I mean, because they don’t like me for some reason?”
Figgins stared at him. “Come on, Mr Puckerman,” he said. “We both know that you did this. A leopard does not change his spots!”
“That’s not fair,” Mr Schuester argued, placing a supportive hand on Puck’s shoulder. “Puck has consistently shown improvement in his behaviour over the past year and I think we can all agree he’s turned over a new leaf.”
“I understand, Will,” Figgins said. “But the fact of the matter is there are witnesses. Someone was even filming the Drama Club’s rehearsal when Mr Puckerman ran on stage. I have had the misfortune of watching the footage, and seeing the male lead given a wedgie and then pantsed in front of an auditorium packed with middle schoolers is not something I can take lightly.”
“It wasn’t me,” Puck insisted, glancing up when Mr Schuester’s hand left his shoulder. “It wasn’t!”
Mr Schuester didn’t look down at him. Instead he folded his arms and looked away.
“Usually detention would suffice but in this instance and considering your past offenses, I have no choice but to suspend you for the rest of the week. You can return on Monday and I hope something like this will never happen again.”
“This is bullshit!” Puck said, jumping up and walking out of Figgins’ office as quickly as he could. He made it halfway down the empty hallway before he had to stop and punch something.
Mr Schuester caught up to him before he could do more than lightly dent the locker.
“I’m disappointed in you, Puck,” Mr Schuester said, shaking his head sadly.
Puck looked away, trying to pretend his knuckles weren’t smarting. He scuffed his toe on the floor, and then folded his arms.
“I didn’t do it,” he said again. “But it doesn’t matter, does it? No one’s going to believe me.”
“They have proof,” Mr Schuester said, sounding frustrated. “And you have pulled stunts like this in the past.”
“And it isn’t possible for me to have changed, right?” Puck asked. “Once a screw up, always a screw up. I don’t have time for pranks anymore. Glee takes up so much time and I still have to work at stupid Sheets n’ Things and I actually have to study to keep up my GPA enough to stay on the football team. I don’t have time to mess with people.”
Mr Schuester looked at him for a long moment. “I want to believe you, Puck. I really do.”
Puck stared back. “Sure,” he said flatly, half shrugging as he turned and walked away.
Puck was used to getting in trouble. He’d been in trouble most of his life, for one thing or another but he’d always managed to keep just on side and never ending up with more than a month of detentions, except for the thing with Vocal Adrenaline’s cars and that had been a justified protest that they shouldn’t have been punished for.
He was used to people thinking he was lying too, which was fine because a lot of the time he was. Truth was something to be given out when necessary and a lie here and there wasn’t a big deal. When people didn’t believe him Puck would shrug and if he was caught doing something he’d take the punishment. That was how it worked and he was okay with that.
But this time he was telling the truth. He didn’t do it and he didn’t care about witnesses and evidence. But no one was going to believe him. They never did.
The unfairness of it all surged up inside him and he had to get out of the hallway before classes let out because he was either going to end up bloody or crying. And Puck didn’t cry. At least not in front of people.
Puck pushed open the door of the bathroom with more force than he’d intended, swearing to himself as it rebounded and hit him on the arm.
“Motherfucker,” he muttered, walking up to the sinks and staring at himself in the mirror.
Puck wasn’t going to cry. He hadn’t cried about shit like this since he was nine and his dad walked out. So what if people thought he was a douche. So what if people blamed him for shit he didn’t do. Puck didn’t care. And so what if he’d gotten suspended. It was probably going to happen eventually so what did it matter? Plus a week off school would be awesome. School was for losers anyway.
Puck nodded at himself and smiled, taking a moment to check himself out. He flexed his arms and then pressed a kiss to one bicep.
“Anyone need a ticket for the gun show?” Puck muttered to himself, then spun around in surprise when the door of one of the stalls opened. Puck tried to think of an explanation for talking to himself then decided to just go with a threatening glare with an unspoken promise of an ass kicking if whoever had overheard repeated any of this, but it was Finn who stepped out.
Puck sighed in relief. He had enough blackmail material on Finn to know that neither of them would ever rat the other out for shit like this.
“Hey!” Finn said, sounding surprised. “I thought I heard you. I thought you’d gone.”
Puck grunted in response, then frowned. “What?” he asked. “Why’re you grinning at me?”
Finn looked taken aback. “Oh, uh. I thought...never mind. Hey, did you shave your beard off just now?”
He rubbed at his face, and Puck could see Finn’s skin was reddened along one side of his jaw.
“What’re you talking about?” Puck asked and Finn looked confused.
“Uh. I...”
Puck sighed. “Dude, I’m just...I’m not in the mood okay? I just got suspended.”
Finn’s eyes widened in surprise. “What? For what? Did they find out about, um, I mean, did they-”
“Some bullshit stunt in the auditorium,” Puck said. “I didn’t do it but do they care? No. So I’m out of here for a week. Which is awesome. Fuck this shit.”
Finn looked kind of relieved when he nodded. “Oh. Okay. Should I...I mean, if you want to come over after school sometime. Or I could come to your place. And, you know...”
Puck stared at Finn. Things had mostly gotten back to normal between them but they weren’t exactly at the hanging out stage of their friendship again so Puck wasn’t sure what Finn was going on about. It was cool though, that Finn didn’t want him to be bored for the rest of the week and was offering him company, so Puck shrugged.
“Sure, I guess. Whenever,” he said and nodded to the door. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you around, or something.”
“I’ll call you?” Finn said, but it sounded like an unsure question and Puck just shrugged and left, wondering why Finn was being so weird.
~~~
Puck’s mom didn’t say anything when he told her. Which was worse than the lecture Puck had been expecting.
Puck didn’t meet her eyes, but he knew she was looking down at him in disappointment.
“I didn’t do it, mom,” he said again, picking at a loose thread on the arm of the couch.
She sighed, just like she’d done in response to everything he’d said.
“I try to raise good kids,” she said after several minutes of silence. “I try to teach you right from wrong.”
“You do, Mom,” Puck replied. “You do. And I didn’t do this. I’m trying to be good.”
“Trying to be good gets you suspended? This isn’t a game, Noah. You are going to spend the week in the house. You are not going out anywhere. You are going to do all of your homework so that you’re not behind. And you are going to watch your sister when she gets home. And you’re not going to complain about any of it.”
Puck opened his mouth to protest then closed it again. “Fine,” he said, standing up and heading for the stairs. “I’m sorry, Mom. But I didn’t do it this time.”
He trudged upstairs, flipping off his sister when she stuck her head out of her room to say, “Oooh, you’re in trouble!”
Puck threw his bag down, kicked his door shut and then jumped back against it in surprise.
“What the fuck?” he yelled at the figure lying on his bed, staring in disbelief. It didn’t make sense.
Puck stared at himself. Or someone who looked just like him. Identical in a way that was freaky and weird and not anything Puck had ever expected to see.
“Hello, Noah,” the other version of Puck said, stroking at the kind of awesome goatee thing he had going on. It looked really good and Puck wished his mom would let him grow one.
Puck wanted to demand to know who the fuck he was but he had something more important to say first.
“Don’t call me Noah,” Puck said menacingly and his clone laughed evilly.
“Shut up,” he said. “Puck is a name for awesome dudes who act like badasses. It didn’t take me long in your dimension to figure out that you lost your way somewhere and turned into a girl who likes to dance around in front of people. You’re a loser who doesn’t deserve to be called something awesome like Puck. So I’m gonna call you Noah until you live up to the name again.”
“My dimension?” Puck asked, letting the name thing drop, for now.
The other Puck- the Evil Puck, judging by the facial hair and attitude- rolled his eyes.
“You’re dumber in this dimension too,” he said. “It’s simple. There are a fuck load of dimensions. We exist in all of them. Most, anyway. There’s a few where we died doing stupid things, but mostly we exist. And we’re just some punk kid who stirs up trouble in all of them. It’s our destiny, who we’re meant to be. But sometimes some versions of us decide to fuck with destiny. They decide to act good. And then I have to go and put them back on the righteous path of kicking ass.”
Puck frowned. “So you’re here to, what, make me throw kids in dumpsters again? I can do that, I guess.”
Evil Puck shook his head. “It isn’t that simple anymore. You need to make sure you live your life like a badass. Shock people. Do things you shouldn’t do. Make sure people still fear you. Because I’ve seen what happens if we take the wrong path. It’s four more years of school and then paying bills and mortgages and monogamy and shit like that.”
Evil Puck shuddered and Puck couldn’t help but shudder too. It didn’t sound like a fun future.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” Puck asked. “I mean, you could be a figment of my imagination. Or a crazed weirdo who happens to look like me.”
Evil Puck pushed himself off the bed and walked over to Puck.
“I’m real,” he said, and punched Puck in the dick, laughing as Puck doubled over clutching at his junk. “And I can show you the scar to prove we’re identical. You know the one I mean. The one on your nutsac you got when you were nine and tried to ride that bike with no seat.”
“I never told anyone about that,” Puck said, wheezing and Evil Puck rolled his eyes.
“Like I said. I’m you, from another dimension. Believe me now?”
Puck nodded. “Tell me what I have to do.”
Evil Puck gave an evil grin, then looked Puck up and down, unimpressed.
“I didn’t realise you’d be lame and beardless,” Evil Puck said, looking at Puck like he was the biggest dork in the universe. “I’ll have to get rid of this. And it took me months to grow.”
“It’s really cool,” Puck told him enviously.
“Of course it is. Everything about me is cool. And it would be about you too, except you’ve lost your edge,” Evil Puck said. “So step one- give me a razor. And then step two- we terrorise this dimension.”
Puck found himself grinning evilly back. “Awesome,” he said, and high fived himself.
~~~
Being suspended was awesome, Puck decided halfway through the next day. They’d spent the morning ignoring his mom’s strict instructions to stay inside and had herded up all the neighbourhood cats and stuck them in the big oak outside Old Man Leibowitz’s house.
“It’s all about karma,” Evil Puck explained as they watched the firemen carry down struggling, scratching cats. “You’ve been racking up points and you’re not supposed to. It throws the rest of us out of balance and makes us want to do good shit too. And that is not cool, man.”
“This is gonna cancel out some of the good, right?” Puck asked.
Evil Puck nodded then frowned as he squinted back towards the house. “Yeah, hey, is that smoke coming out of the window?”
Puck looked over in time to see one of the firemen shout in alarm before running into the house. Puck could see a flash of orange flame through the open doorway and then more firemen were running in, helping to carry Old Man Leibowitz out before turning the hoses onto the burning building.
“Did you do that?” Puck demanded and Evil Puck shook his head.
“No. Come on dude. We’re not criminals. But, uh, I think we should get out of here before someone sees us.”
“They say it’s a miracle,” Puck’s mom said during dinner that night. “If that fire truck hadn’t been right outside, Mr Leibowitz probably wouldn’t have survived. Plus I heard it scared him enough that he’s quitting smoking now too. It was a blessing in disguise!”
Puck poked at his potatoes in annoyance. “Awesome, mom,” he said flatly and pushed himself away from the table. “I have homework to do.”
And he did. Except this homework involved working out some real badass pranks. It wasn’t that Puck wasn’t glad Old Man Leibowitz was alive but he was pretty sure Evil Puck was going to yell at him for accidentally cancelling out the evilness of the prank.
Sure enough the next morning, after Puck’s mom and sister had left, Evil Puck climbed through his bedroom window. Puck didn’t want to know where he spent his nights but it was probably going to mean he’d have some serious shit to clean up after Evil Puck went back to his own dimension.
“You are going to leave eventually, right?” Puck asked and Evil Puck nodded.
“As long as you get your shit together,” he said. “And promise to keep it up. With real pranks because yesterday? That was not cool. You have to do something really badass today.”
Puck waved his notebook in Evil Puck’s direction. “I have the entire day planned out.”
~~~
“Well that went well,” Evil Puck said sarcastically, throwing himself down on Puck’s bed.
Puck scowled down at him and threw his notebook at Evil Puck’s head.
“How was I supposed to know that geek had lost his retainer in the trash and throwing him in the dumpster would help him find it?” Puck asked. “Or that that store owner would like our graffiti and pay us to do some more. Or that ordering ten pizzas for that random house down the street would work out. How was I supposed to know the rich stoner dudes who live there would think it was a gift from the gods and over tipped the delivery guy?”
“You should know this stuff somehow,” Evil Puck replied, pushing himself up on his elbows to watch Puck pace back and forth. “Dude. You’re supposed to be Puckzilla, the baddest ass in town. You’re supposed to just know this shit- what’s going to piss people off, who to pick on, where their weaknesses are. That’s the one thing we’re good at. I’m going to have to go back to my dimension and kick a puppy or something just to even out all of the good karma you’ve earned today.”
“Too far, bro,” Puck said, throwing himself down on the bed. “I’m trying, okay? I’ll just have to up my cougar quota or something to make up for it.”
Evil Puck turned onto his side. “That’s good! That’s really good. Maybe you could expand your type too.”
Puck frowned. “I’m not gonna do a granny,” he protested. “I might break her hip or something.”
Evil Puck made a face. “Gross. No, I mean, the cougars have husbands, right?”
Puck nodded. “Yeah, so?”
Evil Puck stared at him meaningfully.
“Fuck no!” Puck said. “I don’t do dudes.”
Evil Puck rolled his eyes. “Oh come on. We both know you do. Or you want to. A lot of the other us’s do it.”
“You lie,” Puck said. “We’re totally straight. No homo, that’s the way we roll.”
“Don’t knock it until you try it,” Evil Puck said. “It’s good. I know you’d like it. Finn does.”
“Finn does what?” Puck asked stupidly then frowned. “Wait. You mean...What the fuck? Did you fuck Finn?”
Evil Puck shrugged. “Yeah, what of it? It’s a badass thing to do.”
“Shit,” Puck said, rubbing his hand through his Mohawk. “That’s why he was all weird. Because you were...he thinks I...fuck. Dude. Not cool. Really not cool. Don’t you have a Finn in your own dimension to screw around with?”
Evil Puck looked away. “He’s kinda still pissed. About the Quinn thing. But it’s cool, I don’t care or anything.”
“Sure,” said Puck. “That’s why you’re having...having buttsex with my best bud.”
“Like you haven’t thought about it,” Evil Puck said. “And don’t lie. I’m you, you’re me. I know the shit that goes through your head.”
Puck sneered. “Yeah, whatever,” he said.
Evil Puck grinned. “Lying to yourself doesn’t count as being badass,” he said, then leaned in and kissed Puck.
Puck had always thought he was a really good kisser. But kissing himself, while awesome, wasn’t as good as he’d expected. Evil Puck’s tongue kept trying to shove down his throat and he was moving around too much.
“Dude, Jesus fucking Christ dude, will you hold still?”
He clamped his hands on either side of Evil Puck’s head and held him in place while they kissed.
“Yeah,” Evil Puck said, pulling back slightly. “Yeah, that’s good.”
“Wait,” Puck pressed his hand against Evil Puck’s chest and held him back as he leaned in for more. “What’re we doing? This is messed up.”
Evil Puck raised an eyebrow. “How?” he asked. “You’re playing with yourself. It’s just masturbation and besides, who wouldn’t want to fuck us? Everyone else wants to have sex with the Puckmeister, so why shouldn’t we?”
Puck frowned. “That...that kinda makes sense. I mean, if one Puck is awesome, two Puck’s has got to be mindblowing, right?”
“It’s like you read my mind,” Evil Puck said, and kissed him again, slow and slick, running his tongue along Puck’s in a way that made his toes curl.
“Okay,” Puck said. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
“Excellent,” Evil Puck said with a devilish grin. “Now turn over and let me lube you up.”
“What?”
“I’m going to fuck you,” Evil Puck explained patiently. “In the ass. And it is going to be awesome.”
“Fuck that.”
Puck pushed his evil clone away from him. “I’m a badass hetero dude. I don’t take it up the ass.”
“Yeah, and I’m even more badass,” Evil Puck pointed out. “So out of the two of us, you’re the most pansy-assed one here. If you wanna do this, you’ve gotta take it.”
Puck considered his options. It wasn’t like he thought about getting fucked up the ass a lot, but it had crossed his mind once or twice.
Puck stared at himself. “It’s probably not that gay if I’m fucking myself, right?”
Evil Puck smiled. “Right. Ain’t nothing gay about that.”
Puck frowned. It sounded like Evil Puck was mocking him which was not cool. Puck didn’t make fun of himself. He didn’t need to because there was nothing to mock except awesome perfection.
“Dude, come on, roll over,” Evil Puck said and after a moment of hesitation Puck did as he was told, yanking off his shirt and kicking his pants down. He toed off his shoes and smiled when Evil Puck laughed and helped tug his pants off.
“Been awhile, huh?” Evil Puck asked and before Puck could lie and deny it he added, “See, this is what happens when you start being a pussy. You don’t get any. Because you have to start respecting chicks and shit.”
Puck made a face. “I still get some.”
Evil Puck snorted. “Sure. Now roll over, dude. Stop pretending you don’t want it and let me fuck you into next week.”
Puck tried to weakly protest, although it was mostly for show. He wasn’t going to admit how much he wanted this, but it seemed Evil Puck already had a fair idea, judging by his constantly teasing tone as he took the lube from a drawer and got Puck resting on his stomach.
Puck had always known he’d had a talent for seduction, for getting the ladies so distracted that they were already agreeing to bone him without much persuasion. He’d just never been on the receiving end of it and he had to admit, he was really good. Evil Puck had slicked him open with two fingers inside before Puck really knew what was happening.
It felt strange and uncomfortable but the flashes of bright pleasure every time Evil Puck crooked his fingers made up for it.
“I’m going in,” Evil Puck said, just as Puck was getting used to the idea of something sticking in somewhere stuff usually only came out of (except for that one time, with Santana, that he’d made her swear never to tell anyone about).
“We really need to work on our foreplay,” Puck said as Evil Puck slid his fingers out. There was a squelchy noise as Evil Puck squeezed more lube onto his hands and Puck craned his neck around, trying to see Evil Puck lubing himself up.
“Why?” Evil Puck asked. “I don’t have to convince you to do this. You want it. And it’s not like I’ve got to tell you how hot you are or anything because you already know.”
“Point,” Puck conceded, then squeezed his eyes shut and winced as he felt Evil Puck’s dick press against his hole.
“Dude, chill. If you can’t relax by yourself, when can you?”
Puck bit his lip, burying his face in the pillow. “Just fucking do it!”
Evil Puck pressed in, hard enough to slip inside. It burned, and Puck tried to move away from it, stopped by Evil Puck’s hands holding him in place.
“Don’t be a pussy,” Evil Puck said in his ear. “Hold still and let me do this properly.”
Puck stopped moving, focusing on his breathing and not on how full he felt as Evil Puck slid in deeper and deeper before stopping.
“You okay?” Evil Puck asked. “Or do you need to cry a little bit and hug your teddy?”
“Fuck you,” Puck snapped. “And just fuck me.”
Evil Puck didn’t reply, just started to move, slowly at first but then faster when Puck hissed in pleasure.
“That the best you can do?” Puck challenged, thrusting back to meet him. The edge of pain was still there but it was feeling good now and he wanted more, wanted it harder. “You sure you’re me? Because if this was the other way around I’d be fucking you through the mattress.”
“Shut up,” Evil Puck grunted through clenched teeth but he upped his speed, pressing against Puck hard with each thrust. It made the bed shake and Puck had to reach up and grab the headboard to stop it banging against the wall and waking his mom up. She’d caught him doing stuff a few times that he tried to mentally block from his memory, but this would definitely be the hardest to explain.
Puck could feel he was close. The movement of Evil Puck’s dick inside him, brushing over that sweet spot was almost too intense, and his own dick, trapped between his body and the mattress rubbed against the sheets with each thrust. But he didn’t want to come, not yet.
Puck was the sort of guy who liked for the girl to get off first. Mostly because it meant that she’d be more likely to come back for seconds, and also because it meant he didn’t have to go down on her or anything afterwards which made for a quicker escape. But part of him wanted Evil Puck to come first, so that Puck could show him that he had the better stamina, that he was more of a man than Evil Puck.
But Puck wanted it badly. He wanted that feeling, just out of reach, to wash over him as soon as possible. The tease of the slow swelling of it inside, growing more and more with each thrust was almost too much and he needed the release.
“Hard enough for you?” Evil Puck asked in Puck’s ear. It made Puck shiver and then he was coming, hot and wet over his sheets and stomach. He basked in the sensation, Evil Puck’s continued movements seeming far away as he groaned into his pillow.
Puck barely noticed when Evil Puck came and rolled away, but their arms brushed as Puck rolled onto his back a moment later. Evil Puck’s skin was slick with sweat and Puck had to stop himself reaching over and smoothing his hand down Evil Puck’s chest. Fucked and dishevelled suited them well.
“Thanks,” Puck said, still breathless, and Evil Puck grunted in response.
Puck had never been one for small talk after sex, but it seemed a complete douche move to make an excuse to get himself to leave like he normally would.
“So,” he said, and stared at the ceiling for a moment. “Tomorrow we try to cancel out my karma again? We don’t have much time- my mom’ll watch me like a hawk all weekend and then it’s school on Monday.”
He glanced over at Evil Puck, who seemed to be thinking.
“Maybe we should take tomorrow off. I mean, you seem to do your best bad ass stuff at school, right? So we can just up the game then.”
Puck nodded. “I can work with that,” he said. “What’re we going to do tomorrow then?”
Evil Puck winked evilly. “I bet we’ll find something,” he said.
~~~
Puck strolled down the hallway after school on Monday, feeling like his old self. Today had been easy- he’d copied three answers on a Spanish quiz from the geeky chick sitting beside him. He’d spent his Math period in the nurse’s office staring at her cleavage whenever she’d bent over him to check his temperature, and then he’d thrown Azimo’s clothes in one of the showers during football practice. And the nerds were avoiding him, running away like a herd of gazelles when the lion appears. It was great to be king again.
It felt good. It felt awesome. It felt right. Puck couldn’t remember why he’d changed in the first place. He liked knowing that people wouldn’t mess with him, would look up to him with awe and fear.
Going back to his old ways had been easy. He hadn’t pulled any big stunts but Evil Puck was sure to be pleased anyway.
Puck hummed happily to himself as he stepped into the choir room.
“Well look who decided to show his face,” Mercedes said and Puck stopped by the piano, frowning at her.
“What did I do?”
Rachel gave Puck a disappointed look. “I really thought you’d changed,” she said sadly, gesturing at her once white sweater that was now stained purple. Tina and Artie were also sporting stained shirts, glaring at Puck they way none of them had done for ages.
Puck shook his head. “What? I didn’t-”
“We all saw you do it,” Kurt said “Just because your clothes are retro- and I don’t mean in a good way- it doesn’t mean you have to act retro too. 2009 is so last year and so is you being a thug.”
Puck’s jaw clenched in anger as realisation hit. He glanced around the room, at the let down expressions on everyone’s faces and, worse, the lack of surprise there, like they’d expected him to go back to pulling that shit eventually.
Puck needed to talk to Evil Puck and stop him from fucking with anyone else. It had been fun, at first, doing the shit he used to pull without a thought before. There was something thrilling about seeing fear in geeks eyes as he threw them into dumpsters, something satisfying about seeing people turn and run the other way when he walked towards them. Power felt good and Puck had missed it, missed being the top dog. He didn’t care about the losers who hated him again.
But the glee club members weren’t just some losers with names Puck had forgotten. They were his friends, for a pretty loose definition of the word but it was all he had and better than he’d had before, friendship wise. Apart from Finn, and Evil Puck had probably messed that up even more than it already was.
The problem with stopping fucking with people was the disappointment when you fucked them over again.
“Shit,” Puck said. “Look, guys, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened, but it won’t happen again, okay? I promise.”
Puck could see the sceptical looks on everyone’s face, knew they got even more sceptical when he muttered, “And now I have to go and kick someone’s ass,” but he didn’t care.
He needed to punch someone in the jaw.
Puck found who he was looking for loitering outside the girls’ locker room.
Puck shoved Evil Puck against the locker. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he demanded.
Evil Puck shoved him back. “Hands off the merchandise,” he said, straightening his shirt. “What’s your problem, bro?”
“My problem is you tormenting my friends.”
“You know they’re not really your friends, right?” Evil Puck asked. “They’re just some loser kids you have to hang out with until you get this out of your system. You need to quit Homo Explosion and go back to what you’re good at. Fucking, fighting, blowing shit up.”
“It was one time!” Puck exclaimed. “One time, I blew up the Home Ec room a tiny bit and I never get to live it down.”
Evil Puck shrugged. “That’s who you are. Live with it. Be it.”
Puck shook his head slowly. “No. No, this is bullshit. I don’t have to do what you tell me to do. I like glee club. And I like not having to kick everyone’s ass all the time. I like people not thinking I’m a total screw up. And I’m sick of you messing up my life. Go back to whatever lameass dimension you’re from and mess around with your own life.”
“That’s not how it works,” Evil Puck reminded him. “I can’t-”
“Just because I haven’t beaten the shit out of anyone this week doesn’t mean I can’t do it to you if you don’t fuck off,” Puck threatened and Evil Puck took a step backwards.
“You’re making a big mistake,” he said. “I told you, your future sucks if you don’t do what I say.”
“Then it’ll suck,” Puck said. “It’s not worth it. It’s one thing to be a badass, but I’m not an asshole.”
Evil Puck looked unimpressed. “You’re gonna regret this,” he warned. “But it’s your life. Just...I dunno. Don’t do any charity work or get an A or anything, okay? And stop kidding yourself about Finn. We both know he isn’t just your bro.”
Puck frowned in confusion. “Wait, what do you mean?” he asked, but Evil Puck had already taken out his phone, pressed a button and disappeared in a brief flash of light.
Puck stared at the spot where his evil, other dimensional self had been standing then heaved a sigh of relief.
“Now maybe things can go back to normal,” he said to himself, walking towards the parking lot and wondering what Evil Puck’s last words had meant.
As he passed the janitor’s closet an arm shot out and grabbed him, pulling him inside.
“What the-” Puck exclaimed as he fell through the doorway, hitting his back against the wall. It knocked the air out of him and he gasped in a breath, turning in the darkness ready to pummel whoever was stupid enough to put their hands on him. He might have decided that Evil Puck was wrong, that he could still be a badass and not fuck up and do stupid shit, but it didn’t mean he was going to let punks get away with messing with him.
“Who the fuck is there?” he demanded and then squinted against the sudden light that filled the room from the dangling bare light bulb. “Finn?”
Finn leaned against the opposite wall, between the brooms and mops, looking sheepish.
“Hey,” he said. “Sorry. I...”
Finn frowned, biting his lip, then launched himself at Puck, pressing his body against Puck’s as their lips met in a clash of teeth.
“Dude!” Puck said, pushing Finn off of him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Finn jumped back, eyes wide and panicked. His eyes darted towards the door, and then back to Puck’s face.
“Sorry!” he said. “Sorry. I...I hadn’t seen you in a few days and I thought...but I guess you changed your mind.”
“Changed my...oh. Oh. That,” Puck said, realising what Finn meant. He shifted uncomfortably. It was a weird situation, knowing that Finn had been boning someone who looked identical to Puck, who pretty much was Puck apart from the whole asshole aspect. It implied that Finn wanted to do it, that he liked it. That he liked Puck. And the other version of Puck had seemed to like it too.
Puck took a deep breath and stepped forward, holding up his hands when Finn hunched his shoulders, looking like he was expecting an attack.
“I guess I’ve been acting weird lately,” Puck said, and Finn laughed.
“Yeah,” he said. “You’ve- hey, what’re you doing?”
Puck settled his hands on Finn’s hips, moving in closer. It was baby steps, trying not to over think the situation or freak out, but it felt okay and Puck leaned in further. If Evil Puck was brave enough to do this, Puck could do it too.
“I’ve been figuring out some stuff,” Puck said. “Trying to learn how not to be an asshole.”
Puck’s hand slipped from Finn’s waist up under his shirt, fingers splaying across Finn’s stomach. It was strange, having his hand on another guy’s skin, feeling the shaky movement as Finn inhaled a juddering breath. It was weird, but not bad and Puck remembered how Evil Puck’s mouth and hands had felt moving over him. He wondered if it would feel different if that mouth and those hands belonged to Finn.
“Is this okay?” Puck asked.
Finn leaned forward as he answered, “Yes.”
It left them with barely an inch between their mouths and Puck could feel Finn’s breath on his face, could feel his hand shaking as it inched across Finn’s bare skin.
“Cool,” Puck said, and closed the distance between them.
Pairings: Puck/Finn, Puck/Puck (really)
Rating: R
Word Count: ~6000
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me
Summary: There’s a new Puck in town, and he’s determined to make sure Puck returns to his badass bullying ways.
Warnings: Overuse of the word ‘badass’
A/N: Many thanks to mintyfiend for the betaing and ideas. All remaining mistakes are mine. I’m classing this as my free space fill on my au_bingo card because although there isn’t a doppelganger category I think it fits the definition of a Fantasy/Supernatural Other category.
“I didn’t do it.”
Figgins sighed. “Mr Puckerman,” he said, leaning forward. “We have several eye witnesses that say you did.”
Puck shook his head. “They’re lying.”
“Why would they lie, Mr Puckerman?”
Puck shrugged. “Because they’re jealous that I’m a badass? Because I used to throw- I mean, because they don’t like me for some reason?”
Figgins stared at him. “Come on, Mr Puckerman,” he said. “We both know that you did this. A leopard does not change his spots!”
“That’s not fair,” Mr Schuester argued, placing a supportive hand on Puck’s shoulder. “Puck has consistently shown improvement in his behaviour over the past year and I think we can all agree he’s turned over a new leaf.”
“I understand, Will,” Figgins said. “But the fact of the matter is there are witnesses. Someone was even filming the Drama Club’s rehearsal when Mr Puckerman ran on stage. I have had the misfortune of watching the footage, and seeing the male lead given a wedgie and then pantsed in front of an auditorium packed with middle schoolers is not something I can take lightly.”
“It wasn’t me,” Puck insisted, glancing up when Mr Schuester’s hand left his shoulder. “It wasn’t!”
Mr Schuester didn’t look down at him. Instead he folded his arms and looked away.
“Usually detention would suffice but in this instance and considering your past offenses, I have no choice but to suspend you for the rest of the week. You can return on Monday and I hope something like this will never happen again.”
“This is bullshit!” Puck said, jumping up and walking out of Figgins’ office as quickly as he could. He made it halfway down the empty hallway before he had to stop and punch something.
Mr Schuester caught up to him before he could do more than lightly dent the locker.
“I’m disappointed in you, Puck,” Mr Schuester said, shaking his head sadly.
Puck looked away, trying to pretend his knuckles weren’t smarting. He scuffed his toe on the floor, and then folded his arms.
“I didn’t do it,” he said again. “But it doesn’t matter, does it? No one’s going to believe me.”
“They have proof,” Mr Schuester said, sounding frustrated. “And you have pulled stunts like this in the past.”
“And it isn’t possible for me to have changed, right?” Puck asked. “Once a screw up, always a screw up. I don’t have time for pranks anymore. Glee takes up so much time and I still have to work at stupid Sheets n’ Things and I actually have to study to keep up my GPA enough to stay on the football team. I don’t have time to mess with people.”
Mr Schuester looked at him for a long moment. “I want to believe you, Puck. I really do.”
Puck stared back. “Sure,” he said flatly, half shrugging as he turned and walked away.
Puck was used to getting in trouble. He’d been in trouble most of his life, for one thing or another but he’d always managed to keep just on side and never ending up with more than a month of detentions, except for the thing with Vocal Adrenaline’s cars and that had been a justified protest that they shouldn’t have been punished for.
He was used to people thinking he was lying too, which was fine because a lot of the time he was. Truth was something to be given out when necessary and a lie here and there wasn’t a big deal. When people didn’t believe him Puck would shrug and if he was caught doing something he’d take the punishment. That was how it worked and he was okay with that.
But this time he was telling the truth. He didn’t do it and he didn’t care about witnesses and evidence. But no one was going to believe him. They never did.
The unfairness of it all surged up inside him and he had to get out of the hallway before classes let out because he was either going to end up bloody or crying. And Puck didn’t cry. At least not in front of people.
Puck pushed open the door of the bathroom with more force than he’d intended, swearing to himself as it rebounded and hit him on the arm.
“Motherfucker,” he muttered, walking up to the sinks and staring at himself in the mirror.
Puck wasn’t going to cry. He hadn’t cried about shit like this since he was nine and his dad walked out. So what if people thought he was a douche. So what if people blamed him for shit he didn’t do. Puck didn’t care. And so what if he’d gotten suspended. It was probably going to happen eventually so what did it matter? Plus a week off school would be awesome. School was for losers anyway.
Puck nodded at himself and smiled, taking a moment to check himself out. He flexed his arms and then pressed a kiss to one bicep.
“Anyone need a ticket for the gun show?” Puck muttered to himself, then spun around in surprise when the door of one of the stalls opened. Puck tried to think of an explanation for talking to himself then decided to just go with a threatening glare with an unspoken promise of an ass kicking if whoever had overheard repeated any of this, but it was Finn who stepped out.
Puck sighed in relief. He had enough blackmail material on Finn to know that neither of them would ever rat the other out for shit like this.
“Hey!” Finn said, sounding surprised. “I thought I heard you. I thought you’d gone.”
Puck grunted in response, then frowned. “What?” he asked. “Why’re you grinning at me?”
Finn looked taken aback. “Oh, uh. I thought...never mind. Hey, did you shave your beard off just now?”
He rubbed at his face, and Puck could see Finn’s skin was reddened along one side of his jaw.
“What’re you talking about?” Puck asked and Finn looked confused.
“Uh. I...”
Puck sighed. “Dude, I’m just...I’m not in the mood okay? I just got suspended.”
Finn’s eyes widened in surprise. “What? For what? Did they find out about, um, I mean, did they-”
“Some bullshit stunt in the auditorium,” Puck said. “I didn’t do it but do they care? No. So I’m out of here for a week. Which is awesome. Fuck this shit.”
Finn looked kind of relieved when he nodded. “Oh. Okay. Should I...I mean, if you want to come over after school sometime. Or I could come to your place. And, you know...”
Puck stared at Finn. Things had mostly gotten back to normal between them but they weren’t exactly at the hanging out stage of their friendship again so Puck wasn’t sure what Finn was going on about. It was cool though, that Finn didn’t want him to be bored for the rest of the week and was offering him company, so Puck shrugged.
“Sure, I guess. Whenever,” he said and nodded to the door. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you around, or something.”
“I’ll call you?” Finn said, but it sounded like an unsure question and Puck just shrugged and left, wondering why Finn was being so weird.
~~~
Puck’s mom didn’t say anything when he told her. Which was worse than the lecture Puck had been expecting.
Puck didn’t meet her eyes, but he knew she was looking down at him in disappointment.
“I didn’t do it, mom,” he said again, picking at a loose thread on the arm of the couch.
She sighed, just like she’d done in response to everything he’d said.
“I try to raise good kids,” she said after several minutes of silence. “I try to teach you right from wrong.”
“You do, Mom,” Puck replied. “You do. And I didn’t do this. I’m trying to be good.”
“Trying to be good gets you suspended? This isn’t a game, Noah. You are going to spend the week in the house. You are not going out anywhere. You are going to do all of your homework so that you’re not behind. And you are going to watch your sister when she gets home. And you’re not going to complain about any of it.”
Puck opened his mouth to protest then closed it again. “Fine,” he said, standing up and heading for the stairs. “I’m sorry, Mom. But I didn’t do it this time.”
He trudged upstairs, flipping off his sister when she stuck her head out of her room to say, “Oooh, you’re in trouble!”
Puck threw his bag down, kicked his door shut and then jumped back against it in surprise.
“What the fuck?” he yelled at the figure lying on his bed, staring in disbelief. It didn’t make sense.
Puck stared at himself. Or someone who looked just like him. Identical in a way that was freaky and weird and not anything Puck had ever expected to see.
“Hello, Noah,” the other version of Puck said, stroking at the kind of awesome goatee thing he had going on. It looked really good and Puck wished his mom would let him grow one.
Puck wanted to demand to know who the fuck he was but he had something more important to say first.
“Don’t call me Noah,” Puck said menacingly and his clone laughed evilly.
“Shut up,” he said. “Puck is a name for awesome dudes who act like badasses. It didn’t take me long in your dimension to figure out that you lost your way somewhere and turned into a girl who likes to dance around in front of people. You’re a loser who doesn’t deserve to be called something awesome like Puck. So I’m gonna call you Noah until you live up to the name again.”
“My dimension?” Puck asked, letting the name thing drop, for now.
The other Puck- the Evil Puck, judging by the facial hair and attitude- rolled his eyes.
“You’re dumber in this dimension too,” he said. “It’s simple. There are a fuck load of dimensions. We exist in all of them. Most, anyway. There’s a few where we died doing stupid things, but mostly we exist. And we’re just some punk kid who stirs up trouble in all of them. It’s our destiny, who we’re meant to be. But sometimes some versions of us decide to fuck with destiny. They decide to act good. And then I have to go and put them back on the righteous path of kicking ass.”
Puck frowned. “So you’re here to, what, make me throw kids in dumpsters again? I can do that, I guess.”
Evil Puck shook his head. “It isn’t that simple anymore. You need to make sure you live your life like a badass. Shock people. Do things you shouldn’t do. Make sure people still fear you. Because I’ve seen what happens if we take the wrong path. It’s four more years of school and then paying bills and mortgages and monogamy and shit like that.”
Evil Puck shuddered and Puck couldn’t help but shudder too. It didn’t sound like a fun future.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” Puck asked. “I mean, you could be a figment of my imagination. Or a crazed weirdo who happens to look like me.”
Evil Puck pushed himself off the bed and walked over to Puck.
“I’m real,” he said, and punched Puck in the dick, laughing as Puck doubled over clutching at his junk. “And I can show you the scar to prove we’re identical. You know the one I mean. The one on your nutsac you got when you were nine and tried to ride that bike with no seat.”
“I never told anyone about that,” Puck said, wheezing and Evil Puck rolled his eyes.
“Like I said. I’m you, from another dimension. Believe me now?”
Puck nodded. “Tell me what I have to do.”
Evil Puck gave an evil grin, then looked Puck up and down, unimpressed.
“I didn’t realise you’d be lame and beardless,” Evil Puck said, looking at Puck like he was the biggest dork in the universe. “I’ll have to get rid of this. And it took me months to grow.”
“It’s really cool,” Puck told him enviously.
“Of course it is. Everything about me is cool. And it would be about you too, except you’ve lost your edge,” Evil Puck said. “So step one- give me a razor. And then step two- we terrorise this dimension.”
Puck found himself grinning evilly back. “Awesome,” he said, and high fived himself.
~~~
Being suspended was awesome, Puck decided halfway through the next day. They’d spent the morning ignoring his mom’s strict instructions to stay inside and had herded up all the neighbourhood cats and stuck them in the big oak outside Old Man Leibowitz’s house.
“It’s all about karma,” Evil Puck explained as they watched the firemen carry down struggling, scratching cats. “You’ve been racking up points and you’re not supposed to. It throws the rest of us out of balance and makes us want to do good shit too. And that is not cool, man.”
“This is gonna cancel out some of the good, right?” Puck asked.
Evil Puck nodded then frowned as he squinted back towards the house. “Yeah, hey, is that smoke coming out of the window?”
Puck looked over in time to see one of the firemen shout in alarm before running into the house. Puck could see a flash of orange flame through the open doorway and then more firemen were running in, helping to carry Old Man Leibowitz out before turning the hoses onto the burning building.
“Did you do that?” Puck demanded and Evil Puck shook his head.
“No. Come on dude. We’re not criminals. But, uh, I think we should get out of here before someone sees us.”
“They say it’s a miracle,” Puck’s mom said during dinner that night. “If that fire truck hadn’t been right outside, Mr Leibowitz probably wouldn’t have survived. Plus I heard it scared him enough that he’s quitting smoking now too. It was a blessing in disguise!”
Puck poked at his potatoes in annoyance. “Awesome, mom,” he said flatly and pushed himself away from the table. “I have homework to do.”
And he did. Except this homework involved working out some real badass pranks. It wasn’t that Puck wasn’t glad Old Man Leibowitz was alive but he was pretty sure Evil Puck was going to yell at him for accidentally cancelling out the evilness of the prank.
Sure enough the next morning, after Puck’s mom and sister had left, Evil Puck climbed through his bedroom window. Puck didn’t want to know where he spent his nights but it was probably going to mean he’d have some serious shit to clean up after Evil Puck went back to his own dimension.
“You are going to leave eventually, right?” Puck asked and Evil Puck nodded.
“As long as you get your shit together,” he said. “And promise to keep it up. With real pranks because yesterday? That was not cool. You have to do something really badass today.”
Puck waved his notebook in Evil Puck’s direction. “I have the entire day planned out.”
~~~
“Well that went well,” Evil Puck said sarcastically, throwing himself down on Puck’s bed.
Puck scowled down at him and threw his notebook at Evil Puck’s head.
“How was I supposed to know that geek had lost his retainer in the trash and throwing him in the dumpster would help him find it?” Puck asked. “Or that that store owner would like our graffiti and pay us to do some more. Or that ordering ten pizzas for that random house down the street would work out. How was I supposed to know the rich stoner dudes who live there would think it was a gift from the gods and over tipped the delivery guy?”
“You should know this stuff somehow,” Evil Puck replied, pushing himself up on his elbows to watch Puck pace back and forth. “Dude. You’re supposed to be Puckzilla, the baddest ass in town. You’re supposed to just know this shit- what’s going to piss people off, who to pick on, where their weaknesses are. That’s the one thing we’re good at. I’m going to have to go back to my dimension and kick a puppy or something just to even out all of the good karma you’ve earned today.”
“Too far, bro,” Puck said, throwing himself down on the bed. “I’m trying, okay? I’ll just have to up my cougar quota or something to make up for it.”
Evil Puck turned onto his side. “That’s good! That’s really good. Maybe you could expand your type too.”
Puck frowned. “I’m not gonna do a granny,” he protested. “I might break her hip or something.”
Evil Puck made a face. “Gross. No, I mean, the cougars have husbands, right?”
Puck nodded. “Yeah, so?”
Evil Puck stared at him meaningfully.
“Fuck no!” Puck said. “I don’t do dudes.”
Evil Puck rolled his eyes. “Oh come on. We both know you do. Or you want to. A lot of the other us’s do it.”
“You lie,” Puck said. “We’re totally straight. No homo, that’s the way we roll.”
“Don’t knock it until you try it,” Evil Puck said. “It’s good. I know you’d like it. Finn does.”
“Finn does what?” Puck asked stupidly then frowned. “Wait. You mean...What the fuck? Did you fuck Finn?”
Evil Puck shrugged. “Yeah, what of it? It’s a badass thing to do.”
“Shit,” Puck said, rubbing his hand through his Mohawk. “That’s why he was all weird. Because you were...he thinks I...fuck. Dude. Not cool. Really not cool. Don’t you have a Finn in your own dimension to screw around with?”
Evil Puck looked away. “He’s kinda still pissed. About the Quinn thing. But it’s cool, I don’t care or anything.”
“Sure,” said Puck. “That’s why you’re having...having buttsex with my best bud.”
“Like you haven’t thought about it,” Evil Puck said. “And don’t lie. I’m you, you’re me. I know the shit that goes through your head.”
Puck sneered. “Yeah, whatever,” he said.
Evil Puck grinned. “Lying to yourself doesn’t count as being badass,” he said, then leaned in and kissed Puck.
Puck had always thought he was a really good kisser. But kissing himself, while awesome, wasn’t as good as he’d expected. Evil Puck’s tongue kept trying to shove down his throat and he was moving around too much.
“Dude, Jesus fucking Christ dude, will you hold still?”
He clamped his hands on either side of Evil Puck’s head and held him in place while they kissed.
“Yeah,” Evil Puck said, pulling back slightly. “Yeah, that’s good.”
“Wait,” Puck pressed his hand against Evil Puck’s chest and held him back as he leaned in for more. “What’re we doing? This is messed up.”
Evil Puck raised an eyebrow. “How?” he asked. “You’re playing with yourself. It’s just masturbation and besides, who wouldn’t want to fuck us? Everyone else wants to have sex with the Puckmeister, so why shouldn’t we?”
Puck frowned. “That...that kinda makes sense. I mean, if one Puck is awesome, two Puck’s has got to be mindblowing, right?”
“It’s like you read my mind,” Evil Puck said, and kissed him again, slow and slick, running his tongue along Puck’s in a way that made his toes curl.
“Okay,” Puck said. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
“Excellent,” Evil Puck said with a devilish grin. “Now turn over and let me lube you up.”
“What?”
“I’m going to fuck you,” Evil Puck explained patiently. “In the ass. And it is going to be awesome.”
“Fuck that.”
Puck pushed his evil clone away from him. “I’m a badass hetero dude. I don’t take it up the ass.”
“Yeah, and I’m even more badass,” Evil Puck pointed out. “So out of the two of us, you’re the most pansy-assed one here. If you wanna do this, you’ve gotta take it.”
Puck considered his options. It wasn’t like he thought about getting fucked up the ass a lot, but it had crossed his mind once or twice.
Puck stared at himself. “It’s probably not that gay if I’m fucking myself, right?”
Evil Puck smiled. “Right. Ain’t nothing gay about that.”
Puck frowned. It sounded like Evil Puck was mocking him which was not cool. Puck didn’t make fun of himself. He didn’t need to because there was nothing to mock except awesome perfection.
“Dude, come on, roll over,” Evil Puck said and after a moment of hesitation Puck did as he was told, yanking off his shirt and kicking his pants down. He toed off his shoes and smiled when Evil Puck laughed and helped tug his pants off.
“Been awhile, huh?” Evil Puck asked and before Puck could lie and deny it he added, “See, this is what happens when you start being a pussy. You don’t get any. Because you have to start respecting chicks and shit.”
Puck made a face. “I still get some.”
Evil Puck snorted. “Sure. Now roll over, dude. Stop pretending you don’t want it and let me fuck you into next week.”
Puck tried to weakly protest, although it was mostly for show. He wasn’t going to admit how much he wanted this, but it seemed Evil Puck already had a fair idea, judging by his constantly teasing tone as he took the lube from a drawer and got Puck resting on his stomach.
Puck had always known he’d had a talent for seduction, for getting the ladies so distracted that they were already agreeing to bone him without much persuasion. He’d just never been on the receiving end of it and he had to admit, he was really good. Evil Puck had slicked him open with two fingers inside before Puck really knew what was happening.
It felt strange and uncomfortable but the flashes of bright pleasure every time Evil Puck crooked his fingers made up for it.
“I’m going in,” Evil Puck said, just as Puck was getting used to the idea of something sticking in somewhere stuff usually only came out of (except for that one time, with Santana, that he’d made her swear never to tell anyone about).
“We really need to work on our foreplay,” Puck said as Evil Puck slid his fingers out. There was a squelchy noise as Evil Puck squeezed more lube onto his hands and Puck craned his neck around, trying to see Evil Puck lubing himself up.
“Why?” Evil Puck asked. “I don’t have to convince you to do this. You want it. And it’s not like I’ve got to tell you how hot you are or anything because you already know.”
“Point,” Puck conceded, then squeezed his eyes shut and winced as he felt Evil Puck’s dick press against his hole.
“Dude, chill. If you can’t relax by yourself, when can you?”
Puck bit his lip, burying his face in the pillow. “Just fucking do it!”
Evil Puck pressed in, hard enough to slip inside. It burned, and Puck tried to move away from it, stopped by Evil Puck’s hands holding him in place.
“Don’t be a pussy,” Evil Puck said in his ear. “Hold still and let me do this properly.”
Puck stopped moving, focusing on his breathing and not on how full he felt as Evil Puck slid in deeper and deeper before stopping.
“You okay?” Evil Puck asked. “Or do you need to cry a little bit and hug your teddy?”
“Fuck you,” Puck snapped. “And just fuck me.”
Evil Puck didn’t reply, just started to move, slowly at first but then faster when Puck hissed in pleasure.
“That the best you can do?” Puck challenged, thrusting back to meet him. The edge of pain was still there but it was feeling good now and he wanted more, wanted it harder. “You sure you’re me? Because if this was the other way around I’d be fucking you through the mattress.”
“Shut up,” Evil Puck grunted through clenched teeth but he upped his speed, pressing against Puck hard with each thrust. It made the bed shake and Puck had to reach up and grab the headboard to stop it banging against the wall and waking his mom up. She’d caught him doing stuff a few times that he tried to mentally block from his memory, but this would definitely be the hardest to explain.
Puck could feel he was close. The movement of Evil Puck’s dick inside him, brushing over that sweet spot was almost too intense, and his own dick, trapped between his body and the mattress rubbed against the sheets with each thrust. But he didn’t want to come, not yet.
Puck was the sort of guy who liked for the girl to get off first. Mostly because it meant that she’d be more likely to come back for seconds, and also because it meant he didn’t have to go down on her or anything afterwards which made for a quicker escape. But part of him wanted Evil Puck to come first, so that Puck could show him that he had the better stamina, that he was more of a man than Evil Puck.
But Puck wanted it badly. He wanted that feeling, just out of reach, to wash over him as soon as possible. The tease of the slow swelling of it inside, growing more and more with each thrust was almost too much and he needed the release.
“Hard enough for you?” Evil Puck asked in Puck’s ear. It made Puck shiver and then he was coming, hot and wet over his sheets and stomach. He basked in the sensation, Evil Puck’s continued movements seeming far away as he groaned into his pillow.
Puck barely noticed when Evil Puck came and rolled away, but their arms brushed as Puck rolled onto his back a moment later. Evil Puck’s skin was slick with sweat and Puck had to stop himself reaching over and smoothing his hand down Evil Puck’s chest. Fucked and dishevelled suited them well.
“Thanks,” Puck said, still breathless, and Evil Puck grunted in response.
Puck had never been one for small talk after sex, but it seemed a complete douche move to make an excuse to get himself to leave like he normally would.
“So,” he said, and stared at the ceiling for a moment. “Tomorrow we try to cancel out my karma again? We don’t have much time- my mom’ll watch me like a hawk all weekend and then it’s school on Monday.”
He glanced over at Evil Puck, who seemed to be thinking.
“Maybe we should take tomorrow off. I mean, you seem to do your best bad ass stuff at school, right? So we can just up the game then.”
Puck nodded. “I can work with that,” he said. “What’re we going to do tomorrow then?”
Evil Puck winked evilly. “I bet we’ll find something,” he said.
~~~
Puck strolled down the hallway after school on Monday, feeling like his old self. Today had been easy- he’d copied three answers on a Spanish quiz from the geeky chick sitting beside him. He’d spent his Math period in the nurse’s office staring at her cleavage whenever she’d bent over him to check his temperature, and then he’d thrown Azimo’s clothes in one of the showers during football practice. And the nerds were avoiding him, running away like a herd of gazelles when the lion appears. It was great to be king again.
It felt good. It felt awesome. It felt right. Puck couldn’t remember why he’d changed in the first place. He liked knowing that people wouldn’t mess with him, would look up to him with awe and fear.
Going back to his old ways had been easy. He hadn’t pulled any big stunts but Evil Puck was sure to be pleased anyway.
Puck hummed happily to himself as he stepped into the choir room.
“Well look who decided to show his face,” Mercedes said and Puck stopped by the piano, frowning at her.
“What did I do?”
Rachel gave Puck a disappointed look. “I really thought you’d changed,” she said sadly, gesturing at her once white sweater that was now stained purple. Tina and Artie were also sporting stained shirts, glaring at Puck they way none of them had done for ages.
Puck shook his head. “What? I didn’t-”
“We all saw you do it,” Kurt said “Just because your clothes are retro- and I don’t mean in a good way- it doesn’t mean you have to act retro too. 2009 is so last year and so is you being a thug.”
Puck’s jaw clenched in anger as realisation hit. He glanced around the room, at the let down expressions on everyone’s faces and, worse, the lack of surprise there, like they’d expected him to go back to pulling that shit eventually.
Puck needed to talk to Evil Puck and stop him from fucking with anyone else. It had been fun, at first, doing the shit he used to pull without a thought before. There was something thrilling about seeing fear in geeks eyes as he threw them into dumpsters, something satisfying about seeing people turn and run the other way when he walked towards them. Power felt good and Puck had missed it, missed being the top dog. He didn’t care about the losers who hated him again.
But the glee club members weren’t just some losers with names Puck had forgotten. They were his friends, for a pretty loose definition of the word but it was all he had and better than he’d had before, friendship wise. Apart from Finn, and Evil Puck had probably messed that up even more than it already was.
The problem with stopping fucking with people was the disappointment when you fucked them over again.
“Shit,” Puck said. “Look, guys, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened, but it won’t happen again, okay? I promise.”
Puck could see the sceptical looks on everyone’s face, knew they got even more sceptical when he muttered, “And now I have to go and kick someone’s ass,” but he didn’t care.
He needed to punch someone in the jaw.
Puck found who he was looking for loitering outside the girls’ locker room.
Puck shoved Evil Puck against the locker. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he demanded.
Evil Puck shoved him back. “Hands off the merchandise,” he said, straightening his shirt. “What’s your problem, bro?”
“My problem is you tormenting my friends.”
“You know they’re not really your friends, right?” Evil Puck asked. “They’re just some loser kids you have to hang out with until you get this out of your system. You need to quit Homo Explosion and go back to what you’re good at. Fucking, fighting, blowing shit up.”
“It was one time!” Puck exclaimed. “One time, I blew up the Home Ec room a tiny bit and I never get to live it down.”
Evil Puck shrugged. “That’s who you are. Live with it. Be it.”
Puck shook his head slowly. “No. No, this is bullshit. I don’t have to do what you tell me to do. I like glee club. And I like not having to kick everyone’s ass all the time. I like people not thinking I’m a total screw up. And I’m sick of you messing up my life. Go back to whatever lameass dimension you’re from and mess around with your own life.”
“That’s not how it works,” Evil Puck reminded him. “I can’t-”
“Just because I haven’t beaten the shit out of anyone this week doesn’t mean I can’t do it to you if you don’t fuck off,” Puck threatened and Evil Puck took a step backwards.
“You’re making a big mistake,” he said. “I told you, your future sucks if you don’t do what I say.”
“Then it’ll suck,” Puck said. “It’s not worth it. It’s one thing to be a badass, but I’m not an asshole.”
Evil Puck looked unimpressed. “You’re gonna regret this,” he warned. “But it’s your life. Just...I dunno. Don’t do any charity work or get an A or anything, okay? And stop kidding yourself about Finn. We both know he isn’t just your bro.”
Puck frowned in confusion. “Wait, what do you mean?” he asked, but Evil Puck had already taken out his phone, pressed a button and disappeared in a brief flash of light.
Puck stared at the spot where his evil, other dimensional self had been standing then heaved a sigh of relief.
“Now maybe things can go back to normal,” he said to himself, walking towards the parking lot and wondering what Evil Puck’s last words had meant.
As he passed the janitor’s closet an arm shot out and grabbed him, pulling him inside.
“What the-” Puck exclaimed as he fell through the doorway, hitting his back against the wall. It knocked the air out of him and he gasped in a breath, turning in the darkness ready to pummel whoever was stupid enough to put their hands on him. He might have decided that Evil Puck was wrong, that he could still be a badass and not fuck up and do stupid shit, but it didn’t mean he was going to let punks get away with messing with him.
“Who the fuck is there?” he demanded and then squinted against the sudden light that filled the room from the dangling bare light bulb. “Finn?”
Finn leaned against the opposite wall, between the brooms and mops, looking sheepish.
“Hey,” he said. “Sorry. I...”
Finn frowned, biting his lip, then launched himself at Puck, pressing his body against Puck’s as their lips met in a clash of teeth.
“Dude!” Puck said, pushing Finn off of him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Finn jumped back, eyes wide and panicked. His eyes darted towards the door, and then back to Puck’s face.
“Sorry!” he said. “Sorry. I...I hadn’t seen you in a few days and I thought...but I guess you changed your mind.”
“Changed my...oh. Oh. That,” Puck said, realising what Finn meant. He shifted uncomfortably. It was a weird situation, knowing that Finn had been boning someone who looked identical to Puck, who pretty much was Puck apart from the whole asshole aspect. It implied that Finn wanted to do it, that he liked it. That he liked Puck. And the other version of Puck had seemed to like it too.
Puck took a deep breath and stepped forward, holding up his hands when Finn hunched his shoulders, looking like he was expecting an attack.
“I guess I’ve been acting weird lately,” Puck said, and Finn laughed.
“Yeah,” he said. “You’ve- hey, what’re you doing?”
Puck settled his hands on Finn’s hips, moving in closer. It was baby steps, trying not to over think the situation or freak out, but it felt okay and Puck leaned in further. If Evil Puck was brave enough to do this, Puck could do it too.
“I’ve been figuring out some stuff,” Puck said. “Trying to learn how not to be an asshole.”
Puck’s hand slipped from Finn’s waist up under his shirt, fingers splaying across Finn’s stomach. It was strange, having his hand on another guy’s skin, feeling the shaky movement as Finn inhaled a juddering breath. It was weird, but not bad and Puck remembered how Evil Puck’s mouth and hands had felt moving over him. He wondered if it would feel different if that mouth and those hands belonged to Finn.
“Is this okay?” Puck asked.
Finn leaned forward as he answered, “Yes.”
It left them with barely an inch between their mouths and Puck could feel Finn’s breath on his face, could feel his hand shaking as it inched across Finn’s bare skin.
“Cool,” Puck said, and closed the distance between them.