ooc ✧ canon ✧ skits (cooking)
001 | The Secret Ingredient
Karol: Yuri's croquettes are the best!
Rita: How strange ... They're just balls of mashed potatoes, but ...
Judith: There must be a secret ingredient!
Raven: Oh yeah? What'd ya put in it, Yuri?
Yuri: Love.
Rita: Agh! ... *Hack* *hack* Ick, blech!
Karol: Wh-who are you and what did you do with Yuri ...?
Raven: My hearin' isn't what it used to be. What did ya say the secret ingredient was?
Yuri: Love! The lady who ran the inn where I lived always said cooking was all about love. I put as much love in as I could. So eat them with care, okay?
Karol: Yuri's love-filled croquettes ...
Rita: Ugh ...
Raven: I wish they weren't so good ...
Judith: A secret ingredient is a cook's greatest treasure. You didn't want to tell them, did you?
Yuri: Actually, I didn't put anything special in there at all.
004 | An Improved Recipe
Raven: Oh ho, Rita! I hear yer finally a stir-fried veggie master?
Rita: I guess so. Nothing's impossible for me.
Judith: You sure you didn't just have a good teacher?
Rita: It always has to be about you, doesn't it? This was all my genius. But stir-fry is a pain to eat. It ties up both my hands so I can't read!
Karol: Estelle'll get mad at you if she catches you reading while you're eating.
Rita: I got it! Put the vegetables between slices of bread like a sandwich. One hand! Genius!
Karol: Why do you want to go mess up perfectly good food like that?!
Judith: A stir-fry veggie sandwich ... What an original concept!
Raven: ... It looks like Judith's ready ta add that to her cookbook.
Karol: Man, Rita's always gotta screw things up ...
Rita: You're just jealous!
005 | Melts a Young Girl's Heart
Karol: How'd you master making crepes, Raven? I thought you hated sweet foods.
Raven: My boy, you got a lot ta learn about the miraculous powers sweet foods have over the ladies. An exquisite crepe melts a young girl's heart and leads her straight into the arms of the chef -- me!
Estelle: For people who like sweet things, there's nothing harder to refuse than a delicious crepe.
Judith: And if you know someone made it just for you ...
Karol: Uh ... yeah, I guess crepes could really reel 'em in ...
Rita: I know someone's reeling at least ...
Raven: Told ya. They love me!
Karol: Y-yeah, okay, good luck, then.
Raven: Not luck, son. Skill.
006 | Judith Goes All Out
Yuri: Rita, you're eating quietly for once. Do you like the food?
Rita: I wouldn't say I like it ... but I don't dislike it.
Judith: I'm glad it suits your taste, Rita.
Estelle: I've heard that making pork stew is especially time-intensive.
Judith: Yes, it takes at least two days to boil the pork until it's soft enough to eat.
Yuri: It seems you're pretty good at cooking elaborate dishes, Judy.
Judith: I used to cook a lot. I don't mind a little work if people will enjoy it.
Yuri: Did you use to cook for your family?
Judith: Yes. And now I have you all! It makes all the hard work worthwhile.
Rita: ... It's delicious.
Estelle: Huh? Rita, did you say something?
Rita: No.
Judith: Heh heh, thank you, Rita.
009 | Rita's 3-Second Cooking
Estelle: Oooh, I'm following the recipes ... Why isn't my food coming out as good as yours, Judith?
Judith: I do all my seasoning by taste. Maybe that's it.
Rita: Try changing the balance of ingredients, or adding some seasoning that's not in the recipe.
Estelle: Good idea. I'll try that.
Judith: Rita, I never expected to hear such practical advice coming from you!
Rita: H-hey! I'm not the best cook, but adding spices is like mixing chemicals. It's just chemistry.
Judith: I guess, in a way ... but I also feel like that's not all there is to it.
Estelle: So do you and Yuri use your own special seasonings? Is that why your food is so good?
Judith: Exactly. If you just rely on the recipe, your cooking will never be really delicious.
Estelle: Cooking is hard, but I'll keep trying. I want to learn how to make better food!
Judith: That desire is the most important thing of all.
010 | Hunger is the Best Spice
Karol: I'm so hungry ...
Raven: I'm dyin' here ...
Yuri: Already? The girls look like they're doing fine.
[insert sound of a stomach rumbling here]
Karol: ... Was that Estelle? Listen, her stomach's rumbling, too!
Estelle: I can wait. Though it's been a little difficult ...
[insert that sound again here]
Raven: Hmm? That sounded like it came from Rita.
[and once more here]
Yuri: Judy, you too? Are you trying to see who can hold out the longest?
Judith: Perhaps a diet is a little bit like a competition in holding out.
Raven: A diet? What do you need a diet for?! Especially you, Rita! Lose any more weight, and you'll--
Rita: I'm just waiting until I finish reading this book, okay?!
011 | About to Go Wild
Karol: I can't take it anymore ... I'm seriously gonna starve ...
Raven: Can I eat a gel?
Yuri: No.
Repede: *Grrr ... Woof!*
Raven: D-does the pooch look a little scary ta anyone else?
Rita: Oh, he's probably just hungry enough for his wild instincts to kick in.
Judith: .....
Estelle: .....
Raven: The pooch isn't the only one about to go wild.
Yuri: I'm no good at diets, seriously.
Karol: This isn't a diet. It's a fast ... Why do we have to stop eating, too?
Judith: We can't have delicious smells just wafting by! We're just as hungry as you are!
Karol: Agh, what a tyrant ...
012 | Let's Eat Already!
Karol: I ... am ... so ... hungry ...! We're seriously gonna starve!
Judith: Save your energy, Karol. You'll just make yourself hungrier.
Estelle: Sharp stomachs make short graces, Karol.
Karol: ... What does that mean?
Yuri: It means hunger can make you rude ... and that leads to angry people attacking you with sharp things.
Raven: I think yer a little off ... But whatever, Yuri and Rita seem ta be pretty calm despite not havin' eaten in a while.
Yuri and Rita: I'm used to it.
Raven: Uh huh ...
Estelle: Ah! ... There's a delicious steak, right on top of Repede's back ...
Judith: It's a trap! Don't succumb to temptation.
Yuri: Maybe we should do something about this ...
Karol: Yuri! Yuri! I found a green piece of veggie-bread in my bag! I can eat it, right? Right?
Yuri: What the ... No, Karol, don't! Seriously, this is getting dangerous. Let's eat something already!
015 | Done Growin'
Raven: Stop making food I don't like! Make somethin' else! I won't take this bullyin'!
Judith: Okay ... No food for you, then.
Karol: All of us have things we don't like, but you don't see us complaining. Live with it.
Rita: You should be thankful. I stopped reading to come here and eat with you, you know!
Estelle: An unbalanced diet can lead to an unhealthy body!
Raven: I'm done growin'! I can afford a little lack of nutrition at my age!
Repede: *Woof woof! Woof!*
Yuri: Repede's making fun of you, old man. He says you're a disgrace to humans. You're the oldest one here ... Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Raven: No way. I'm a poor excuse for a grown-up.
Yuri: Sheesh, listen to him ...
Judith: You're terrible.
016 | Again ...?
Karol: *Sigh* ... Again?
Estelle: This food's a staple. But ... I do wonder why we always have the same thing to eat. We have other recipes we could be making.
Karol: Rita said she liked it so much she could eat it every day.
Rita: Hey, the old man was whining about how he hates every other kind of food.
Raven: Well, Yuri was goin' on and on about how we hafta save money on food!
Yuri: Judy, didn't you say this would be a good way to compare our cooking?
Judith: I thought Estelle was trying to perfect this dish ...
[long pause]
Yuri: ... I want something else.
Karol: Me too!
Raven: Me three!
Rita: I'm tired of this!
Judith: Our other recipes are going to waste!
Estelle: All right, let's eat something different next time, okay?
Karol: So I wasn't the only one who was tired of it, after all ...
017 | Cook to Live
Estelle: Yuri, you like cooking, don't you?
Yuri: I don't know about "like" ... Why?
Estelle: We've been making you cook for us all the time, and you haven't refused once.
Raven: Quiet, Estelle! We don't want him ta stop!
Yuri: It's all right. I noticed.
Karol: You don't mind? Isn't it a lot of work?
Yuri: I used to cook for myself when I was living in the capital. It's not bad at all.
Judith: It's not bad ... but you don't really like it?
Yuri: Well ... it was better than having to eat dangerous awful stuff every single day. He meant well, but he didn't realize how bad he was. This was the only way to stop him.
Raven: Ya got my condolences, Yuri.
Rita: Why are you looking at me?!
Yuri: Rita's cooking is nothing compared to this stuff, trust me.
Judith: I'd like to meet someone who could make food like that.
Raven: It's like lookin' at a scary monster. I'll pass on the food, though.
Yuri: ... You already met him.
018 | Estellise's Cooking Practice
Rita: Hey Estelle, you've been doing most of the cooking. You could let the guys cook every now and then.
Estelle: No, it's fine! The more I cook, the better I get.
Judith: That's true. Cooking is something you get used to. I think your cooking has really improved.
Estelle: Thanks, Judith! I'm happy that I have your seal of approval. Every day I shred two vegetables, julienne one, and chiffonade two more. Guess it was worth it.
Karol: You didn't have to do all that ... Right, Yuri?
Yuri: Yeah. It's a waste of veggies.
Rita: I think you missed the point.
Estelle: No, it's okay. Repede's been eating all the vegetables for me, besides the onions.
Yuri: Repede!!
Repede: *... Whine*
Judith: Ahh, I thought Repede was getting a little pudgy.
Raven: Ya, his attacks in battle've been leavin' a bit ta be desired, too.
Yuri: Repede, you've gotta learn how to say no to food ...
019 | Today, Yesterday, The Day Before That...
Karol: Food's ready, everybody!
Estelle: Umm, Karol ... Isn't this the same thing you made yesterday?
Rita: Not just yesterday, bit the day before and the day before that, too!
Raven: Ya must like this a lot ta be makin' it all the time, huh?
Karol: That's right! I like this so much I could eat it every day!
Raven: Ol' Raven prefers a more refined, mature taste.
Karol: Since I'm always cooking, I figured it was my right to make what I like to eat.
Yuri: Well, that's a good point.
Rita: Hold on! You're seriously okay with eating the same thing every day forever?
Yuri: I'm happy just to have something to eat. Karol's cooking isn't half bad, either.
Karol: Thanks, Yuri! I can't wait to make delicious food tomorrow, too!
Raven: So tomorrow'll be the same as today, then?
Judith: It looks that way. Too bad ...
Estelle: I'm worried that this will be bad for our nutrition.
Rita: Don't bother making any of the same stuff for me! I'd rather go hungry.
Karol: You know, you could all just do some cooking yourselves for once ...
020 | "It"
Rita: Hey, what's with making me do all the cooking?!
Raven: Ah, perhaps you've gotten better and ya finally came to enjoy cookin'?
Rita: No way! Cooking is a pain, and it's a waste of time, too! The point of eating is to restore your energy, right? Just eat some bread or a banana or something!
Yuri: What, you want us to just eat the ingredients raw?
Karol: I remember Rita serving a sandwich that was just two piece of bread with a raw egg in between ...
Judith: A raw egg? How original!
Raven: Hey, don't get any ideas, now!
Rita: Make me cook again ... and I'll put "it" in the food.
Raven: Put what in the food?
Rita: Something I've been saving for a special occasion.
Judith: Ooh, that sounds interesting.
Karol: Judith, don't encourage her!
Rita: Don't you dare make me cook next time!
Estelle: Aww, and I wanted to try what Rita was saving for a special occasion ...
Karol: Estelle, I don't think you do ...
021 | The Old Man's Cooking
Raven: Don't ya think ya've made ol' Raven cook enough lately? Come on, somebody switch with me!
Rita: You're kidding. No way.
Estelle: You're a better cook than I am, too ... Please, keep up the good work.
Yuri: It's all you.
Judith: I like your cooking!
Raven: Why won't anybody trade places with me?!
Karol: Maybe there's a good reason for that? And besides, your cooking tastes good.
Raven: Well, I'm sure yer happy with that, but I don't wanna do it!
Rita: So you shouldn't have to cook just because you don't want to? How selfish can you get?
Raven: ... Selfish? You're one ta talk!
Yuri: But cooking the food yourself is a good way to avoid forgetting when you last ate, don't you think?
Raven: True, true, lately my memory's been jus' horrib-- Wait a sec, my memory's not THAT bad! *Sigh* Just how much of an old fart do you think I am ...?
022 | Poor, Little, Helpless Men
Estelle: Judith, we're always making you do the cooking for us ... You don't mind?
Yuri: Would you like us to help out every now and then?
Judith: No, that's okay. Cooking's fun. Of course, we can switch if you don't like my cooking ...
Karol: No, we love your cooking! I could never get tired of it!
Raven: Indeed. It brings back memories of long ago ... It's the sorta cookin' I could eat every day.
Judith: Heh heh, that makes me so happy! That's the sort of cooking I've been trying for. It'd be nice if someday you thought to yourself, "Gee, I sure would like some of Judith's cooking."
Yuri: Yeah, I wouldn't mind having this again.
Rita: ... Careful, boys. Just in case you haven't caught on, she's taming you.
Karol: What?!
Judith: Oh my, looks like I've been found out.
Raven: Heh, heh ... Bein' tamed, huh?
Yuri: I'm not sure I can resist ...
023 | Hot Food, Hot Sun
Rita: Who the hell decided to pan-fry noodles in the middle of a searing hot desert?
Estelle: People should really give more thought to these decisions ...
Yuri: Yeah. And it's not just hot -- this strong taste really dries out your throat, too!
Repede: *Woof, woof woof*
Judith: I feel like the more I eat, the weaker I get ...
Yuri: I can't stop sweating. Damn it, I can't stop!!
Karol: Yuri, you're more worked up than usual ...
Raven: ... Let's just say ya owe us one, boss.
Yuri: Owe you one?
Raven: I see what yer doin', gettin' all worked up. Ya said yourself yesterday that ya wanted some noodles. So did ya make 'em yerself? Did ya ask someone else ta do it? Hmm?
Yuri: ... Sorry. I guess fried noodles really aren't good for eating in the desert.
Repede: *... Whine*
024 | The Cold Is Fatal
Rita: Who the hell thought it'd be a good idea to make s-s-sorbet in this freezing weather ...
Karol: It's s-s-so cold, my t-t-t-teeth are chattering too much to eat ...
Judith: I think sorbet can be delicious, even in the cold.
Rita: So it was you!
Judith: I was just expressing my opinion ... I never said it was me!
Karol: J-J-Judith, you're all right eating sorbet d-d-dressed like that?
Raven: If ya get ... an upset stomach, Judy ... I'll give ya a massage!
Rita: Th-th-that's hardly something you should be saying, with your p-p-purple lips and your runny nose!
Yuri: Rita, can you ... cast spells ... like that?
Rita: P-p-probably not ... My t-t-teeth are chattering too much ...
Karol: And my hands are t-t-too stiff to hold my weapons!
Yuri: Eating sorbet ... in a frigid cold field of snow ... Th-th-this is not fun ...
025 | Not Too Sharp...
Karol: Ugh ... This is terrible.
Yuri: Did you follow the recipe? There are ingredients in this food that really shouldn't be in it.
Estelle: Actually, I haven't seen our recipe book around recently ...
Raven: Yeah, I wonder where it went.
Rita: Recipe book ...? Is this it, by any chance?
Judith: Rita, you had it?
Rita: No wonder it seemed so flimsy and weak.
Karol: You were using it as a weapon ...?
Rita: Someone replaced my book with this thing. It's not my fault nobody noticed the recipes were gone.
Yuri: Well, I can't argue with you there.
Judith: We don't have very many recipes either ... Maybe we should have some more interest in cooking.