[Short Story] [Bad Ending] My Final Refrain
[OOC: This is why I'm not allowed to RP Slice of Life characters in srsly dark situations. Again, Danielle = Hope.]
Dear Diary,
Another one of my rare journal writings. As I sit here, I kinda feel like I'm waiting to be smacked away by whatever may be just waiting for us after we get through this. Yes, AFTER. We will get through this...
But it's that nagging feeling again. Y'know, the one that I've had every single time before this war? The one that just hints at even more insane bull coming our way? Yeah, that. It's so damn thick, like a soup made with little water. It makes my blood boil just thinking about it, but... that's not the important thing right now. Just like before, anything is possible.
But... I'm losing hope. Not in the war; I lost hope in the stupidity of the majority of human beings a long time ago. I'm losing hope in the people I knew from the academy, and even the others. Jinn's been unstable as of late, Allen's lost the will to try and stop the fighting, Saikou's... Well, the others are kinda fine. They've been stressed, but that's all. But... Eirin... She did that... for me.
I'm going to keep her clothing in a stack in my place. I'll be keeping the most important parts of the medical case with me in my satchel, but I can't afford to carry that everywhere. I have to do this for her, at least.
And then there's me.
... I really don't want to do this, but... I've been finding less and less people willing to stop fighting. I haven't had a single lead in awhile. It hasn't happened before... Damn it!
... Gotta calm down. Anger won't do anything good to us. Guard may be protecting me, but it won't save us from Urquizas' blood fire. ... It's been that long, huh. I look back and I've changed so little in relation to my friends, but so much in relation to everything else. I hate myself for it, but it's a necessary evil. It's why I try to hug Allen a lot, and why I try to look for Jinn often. It keeps me thinking that we can do this.
But just trying to save everyone isn't enough. Nor is helping everyone. I want to stop this all, just end it. I don't care about how, just when..
Relax, Danielle, relax. We're getting too caught up in all of this blood lust. Punching people until they're unconscious can't stop this now. It's a few years too late now.
I just wish there were a reset button. I miss hanging out with my friends. Messing around with Allen, dueling for fun... It's all a taste in my mouth that's satisfying to remember... makes me long for more. But it also makes us rage. It's something we can't have now, for reasons which are ridiculous. The mentality of these people is just dumb... one side can't win. Everyone has to stop, but nobody wants to.
And that's why we're going to go out there and do the impossible, isn't it?
...
Diary? Just make sure to remember me. Remember what I wrote in here. Remember and never forget. I won't die ever that way. ...Please...
Dear Diary,
Another one of my rare journal writings. As I sit here, I kinda feel like I'm waiting to be smacked away by whatever may be just waiting for us after we get through this. Yes, AFTER. We will get through this...
But it's that nagging feeling again. Y'know, the one that I've had every single time before this war? The one that just hints at even more insane bull coming our way? Yeah, that. It's so damn thick, like a soup made with little water. It makes my blood boil just thinking about it, but... that's not the important thing right now. Just like before, anything is possible.
But... I'm losing hope. Not in the war; I lost hope in the stupidity of the majority of human beings a long time ago. I'm losing hope in the people I knew from the academy, and even the others. Jinn's been unstable as of late, Allen's lost the will to try and stop the fighting, Saikou's... Well, the others are kinda fine. They've been stressed, but that's all. But... Eirin... She did that... for me.
I'm going to keep her clothing in a stack in my place. I'll be keeping the most important parts of the medical case with me in my satchel, but I can't afford to carry that everywhere. I have to do this for her, at least.
And then there's me.
... I really don't want to do this, but... I've been finding less and less people willing to stop fighting. I haven't had a single lead in awhile. It hasn't happened before... Damn it!
... Gotta calm down. Anger won't do anything good to us. Guard may be protecting me, but it won't save us from Urquizas' blood fire. ... It's been that long, huh. I look back and I've changed so little in relation to my friends, but so much in relation to everything else. I hate myself for it, but it's a necessary evil. It's why I try to hug Allen a lot, and why I try to look for Jinn often. It keeps me thinking that we can do this.
But just trying to save everyone isn't enough. Nor is helping everyone. I want to stop this all, just end it. I don't care about how, just when..
Relax, Danielle, relax. We're getting too caught up in all of this blood lust. Punching people until they're unconscious can't stop this now. It's a few years too late now.
I just wish there were a reset button. I miss hanging out with my friends. Messing around with Allen, dueling for fun... It's all a taste in my mouth that's satisfying to remember... makes me long for more. But it also makes us rage. It's something we can't have now, for reasons which are ridiculous. The mentality of these people is just dumb... one side can't win. Everyone has to stop, but nobody wants to.
And that's why we're going to go out there and do the impossible, isn't it?
...
Diary? Just make sure to remember me. Remember what I wrote in here. Remember and never forget. I won't die ever that way. ...Please...