..sometimes.. it feels like.. being alive is not making any good lol ( Read more... )

.. urm.. i'm not doing good in college and i still dunno how to say
that to my parents-
i like the mayor.. but i just FUCKING hate my college.. i hate it-- it
sucks hell.. it should die.!!!

and i'm hurting my bf.. cuz idk if i luv him.. -- but i know if i say
things like that .. he might do someting crazy.. he's nuts =__=
i have a  good time ( Read more... )

.. you know.. lately i have been thinking
whats there for me?
is it like my science teacher tought me when i was in elementary school.. "the life beings are the ones who born, grow up, reproduce them selves and die" -
you know .. i don't think of reproducing myself.. but i'm kinnna tired of my .. wahts the word.. rudimentary life.. i'm sick of the ( Read more... )

Thoughts are running in my head
i just can't run from them-
far far away from here
there must be a place
where i can finnaly rest
close my eyes and dream
without pain.- without cold
away from this so called
WORLD!

I'm always an idiot who is never needed-

xxx
LSD
xxx

i'm not sure what i want anymore--
idk if i want something
or i want nothing
- i'm not sure what i'm looking for
- i can't keep going since there is no plan or purpose in my life
i want to get out of my home but the problem is then what
- i can't even think of prostitution since i'm not even good at sex-
gosh who would like to buy me?
( Read more... )

( Read more... )

i'm tired..
i'm tired of being weak
i'm tired of being me
i'm tired of dealing with this everyday
waking up in the mornig
begging for its end
sleeping every night
and hoping never wake

smiling at people
trying hard not to cry

playing with suicide
with a blade in my hands
cuz i don't have the courage
to end my own life

i can't belive
( Read more... )

i bought a box of surgical blades xDD ~!!! *ish so happy* i missed those things!!!!
i forgot where to buy them lol .. but today i went with my friends cuz i needed a stethoscope [i know they woudln't come with me if i just went for blades :P ]  - and well they didn't say anything when i asked for the box.. my best friend only said "what are they ( Read more... )

zomg- i haven't posted here for a month xP ( Read more... )

yeah i dumped a guy today :/  wasn't my fault fault--
cuz i did email him but i totally forgot to call me
i'm going to hell now
and he was calling and calling but i was really embarased to pick up the phone

--
+ i'm so bad with my friends.. i never call them or go to visit them
well the visit part is kinna hard since my parents love to keep me locked in ( Read more... )