(no subject)
I really ought to be studying / doing GPP / doing PI but I'm super tired and I'm super lazy to do anything ): Stupid PW I don't even know for sure what I'm supposed to do. ( I hate how I've to be constantly eating ): )
& as I look at my facebook and the number of friends, I feel a level of craziness. No, there's no way I've that many friends. I'm ultimately tempted to delete certain friends off my facebook (like Debra Chow) - not as if I've ever visited their page or talked to them! But I think about 5/10 years on, would it prove to be useful? Will it really help track down these hi-bye friends I've hardly seen at all. Or will it be useful when I decided to spy (like today & waste my life :/ )
I really don't know & I feel so weird and fake, 314friends! :O
I look around me and many times I feel so loser-ish. I learn about how others are doing in their school - and how well they are coping. Then we talk about boys (and how hopeless TJ ones can be) & how everyone has someone or someones. I suddenly feel hopeless and ugly and pathetic. Think and think, my heart tells me no one will ever look at me & say, "wow, she's someone". No I'm just someone passing along everyone's life. I get the feeling that no one will ever treat me as his special one ever & I'd be left alone seriously.
Superficial and stupid I know I sound. & I'm still that girl that stares at couples on the train just because they are holding hands. I feel so stupid and annoying for thinking so - but really, what if no one comes along?