Not a Holiday card letter
Where to start? I am fortunate that there are people who care enough about me to say "Tell me first" if I have a real problem. Just to be fair, I'm telling everybody first.
I occasionally post to facebook, but haven't been explaining some of the more detailed stuff in the Journal. Usually when it's bad, I don't want to post because I don't want to only complain here. usually when things go well, I'm too busy. :)
Things are not going well, and today was an absolute soul-crushing day.
To backpedal a bit, I went job hunting in the Spring instead of returning to school. Living the life of a student was getting me so far behind financially that a friend helped me out. So I felt the change needed to be made to "grow up", clear some debts, etc. A "real job" was offered to me in Portland, but they rushed me down there before I really could adequately prepare (and didn't offer any relocation assistance).
I guess things went wrong from the beginning. The offering of "Lead" became an offering of "STE" and "acting lead" before I even got there. "Good Manager" was still grooming me to be the lead of the project, and the team liked me. The contact at *big client* has been a nightmare however. This finally culminated in an incident where I had to gently explain that public shaming was destroying my teams morale, and that if there is a problem with one of my team members it needs to be addressed privately to me (and problems with me, to my boss, etc.) Absolutely the right thing for the team, and the project, absolutely the wrong thing for my career, particularly with "big client" wanting to call the shots as far as the staffing.
Different STE promoted to "Lead" for the project (though I still handle the responsibilities) in October, "Good Manager" fired in November. In the meantime, money-wise, I'm living extra frugal, earning a decent hourly wage, and getting further behind in debts. This is mostly due to living in two places at once, but I've had some emergencies, (and yes I did attend two conventions in the past six months, both of which I stuck to a very modest budget)
Leading up over the past week, I got sick for the first time in a really long time, and I still have an active cough. This cost me a days wages at work, and a $200 solo gig last weekend. This also meant that my planned recording of a CD for my friends holiday party this coming weekend, has been three seperate sessions of my coughing in a microphone. So much for that idea, now what am I going to do. The big office move occurs during this time, too.
So I'm already in a mood this morning. I know that things are finally going to be "partially" working today and that once the logjam breaks I'll have a weeks worth of back work to do with half my tools. That's when I get an urgent message about a bill that I wasn't previously aware of. Plus "big client" people are down visiting the new office and everyone is doing meetings. Finally there's a meeting for the rest of us little people. Bullet point number one from the studio head about cool things accomplished this year is my shame of someone else getting the position that I started this whole ugly mess for.
This was followed by driving down to a local hole in the wall fake Irish pub for a "move party". I stayed late at the site to send in resumes etc. for jobs in Seattle before heading down. Then I drank the offered two beers and left right at the stroke of 6 as the party was scheduled.
When I got home, there was a note on my door from the property. I didn't see it coming, but my rent check was returned and I have a 72 hour notice of termination at my room. I have to pay a $700 money order before the weekend (which looking at my finances, I don't have)
TL;DR I'm about to be evicted. I'm freaking out that I'm going to lose everything.
I don't know what to do other than I know I just need to get a job back in Seattle ASAP. I've met some really good people in the music scene up here, and there are still a couple people at work that I really like, and the rest of it I just need to get myself away from as fast as possible.
I don't know what to do at this point, and considering this "grown up" decision was prompted in part by friends helping me in need, I feel absolutely stupid asking for any more help, its like I threw it and six moths of my life down a hole, anything more... %$#@! I don;t know what to do. I need some advice.
I occasionally post to facebook, but haven't been explaining some of the more detailed stuff in the Journal. Usually when it's bad, I don't want to post because I don't want to only complain here. usually when things go well, I'm too busy. :)
Things are not going well, and today was an absolute soul-crushing day.
To backpedal a bit, I went job hunting in the Spring instead of returning to school. Living the life of a student was getting me so far behind financially that a friend helped me out. So I felt the change needed to be made to "grow up", clear some debts, etc. A "real job" was offered to me in Portland, but they rushed me down there before I really could adequately prepare (and didn't offer any relocation assistance).
I guess things went wrong from the beginning. The offering of "Lead" became an offering of "STE" and "acting lead" before I even got there. "Good Manager" was still grooming me to be the lead of the project, and the team liked me. The contact at *big client* has been a nightmare however. This finally culminated in an incident where I had to gently explain that public shaming was destroying my teams morale, and that if there is a problem with one of my team members it needs to be addressed privately to me (and problems with me, to my boss, etc.) Absolutely the right thing for the team, and the project, absolutely the wrong thing for my career, particularly with "big client" wanting to call the shots as far as the staffing.
Different STE promoted to "Lead" for the project (though I still handle the responsibilities) in October, "Good Manager" fired in November. In the meantime, money-wise, I'm living extra frugal, earning a decent hourly wage, and getting further behind in debts. This is mostly due to living in two places at once, but I've had some emergencies, (and yes I did attend two conventions in the past six months, both of which I stuck to a very modest budget)
Leading up over the past week, I got sick for the first time in a really long time, and I still have an active cough. This cost me a days wages at work, and a $200 solo gig last weekend. This also meant that my planned recording of a CD for my friends holiday party this coming weekend, has been three seperate sessions of my coughing in a microphone. So much for that idea, now what am I going to do. The big office move occurs during this time, too.
So I'm already in a mood this morning. I know that things are finally going to be "partially" working today and that once the logjam breaks I'll have a weeks worth of back work to do with half my tools. That's when I get an urgent message about a bill that I wasn't previously aware of. Plus "big client" people are down visiting the new office and everyone is doing meetings. Finally there's a meeting for the rest of us little people. Bullet point number one from the studio head about cool things accomplished this year is my shame of someone else getting the position that I started this whole ugly mess for.
This was followed by driving down to a local hole in the wall fake Irish pub for a "move party". I stayed late at the site to send in resumes etc. for jobs in Seattle before heading down. Then I drank the offered two beers and left right at the stroke of 6 as the party was scheduled.
When I got home, there was a note on my door from the property. I didn't see it coming, but my rent check was returned and I have a 72 hour notice of termination at my room. I have to pay a $700 money order before the weekend (which looking at my finances, I don't have)
TL;DR I'm about to be evicted. I'm freaking out that I'm going to lose everything.
I don't know what to do other than I know I just need to get a job back in Seattle ASAP. I've met some really good people in the music scene up here, and there are still a couple people at work that I really like, and the rest of it I just need to get myself away from as fast as possible.
I don't know what to do at this point, and considering this "grown up" decision was prompted in part by friends helping me in need, I feel absolutely stupid asking for any more help, its like I threw it and six moths of my life down a hole, anything more... %$#@! I don;t know what to do. I need some advice.