On Solitude, or: Something I Have Learned About Myself

[bluestocking79]

I tend to write more about the physical aspects of Project Peacock, and those aspects are important--indeed, much more important than those who reflexively sneer at or dismiss fashion and style and outward self-expression realize or would credit. But one of the things about restoring my outward self to the person I am, and choose to be, is that

Comments

[duniazade]

*hugshugshugs*

I'm not much on the chat or the phone, but you can and should email me whenever you feel like it, because it's always a pleasure for me and I'm selfishly looking forward to it (and we'll talk about baking, writing, peacocking and whatever silly or serious thing comes to mind). Promise?

*squishes*

[bluestocking79]

~hugs you tightly~

Thank you very much, my friend! I do need to write you an e-mail, because our conversations have never been less than a treasure to me, regardless of the subject. I promise I will write! &hearts

By the way, I've just come into a large amount of beautiful fresh English peas. I'm making muttar paneer for dinner with some of it, but do you have any other suggestions?

[duniazade]

Damn LJ! They are not sending the replies to my comments, so I just wandered by to see how you fared and lo! there was an urgent question.

I suppose that by now the beautiful peas are already eaten, but how about petits pois à la française, with pearl onions and lettuce hearts simmered in butter? Or Romanian style, cooked directly in thick fresh cream with a lot of dill. Or folded into an omelette.

Yes, please, write. *smooches*

[bluestocking79]

Damn you, LJ! Notifications seem to be going wonky lately.

But thank you for the suggestions! And no, you're not too late, since I've only used half of them for the muttar paneer, which is simmering right now. :-)

Petits pois a la francaise is a LOVELY suggestion, thank you! Although now I am very, very intrigued by the Romanian suggestion, as I've never had that and it sounds yummy. I have access to fresh dill, too... hmm. (What a delicious dilemma to have!)

[concupiscence66]

I spent two wonderful years as a pure stay at home mom and now I'm still home all day but in grad school and working part time. Even though it's a ton of stress, I feel like myself again. I didn't realize how much of me was tied into being an intellectual and being a helper. Even though I was never alone (not for a second!), I often felt lonely. I started writing fanfic for the sake of making some connections. When I would have a problem with my computer, I would be so devastated because that's where all my friends lived

[bluestocking79]

You know, it's funny that you should say that about being drawn to things in fandom that are about unconditional friendship and love, because I've recently noticed the same thing in myself. I realized that in nearly every fandom I've been in, the relationship I was most drawn to was an odd-couple pairing that was nonetheless full of affection and mutual admiration and unconditional love/friendship, under the surface differences. (See: Mulder and Scully in the The X-Files, Crowley and Aziraphale in Good Omens, Leon and Count D in Petshop of Horrors, and--most of all--Howard and Vince in the Boosh.) I honestly am drawn to that kind of intimacy and understanding and affection; I seek it out, almost without fail. Yes, you CAN learn a lot about yourself through fanfic! Through fiction, period. It's quite amazing what you can uncover in yourself, if you're open to it

[concupiscence66]

So first of all, I wrote a Good Omens fic http://concupiscence66.livejournal.com/tag/good%20omens for queerfest last year! I don't know Petshop of Horrors but I love Mulder and Scully. I love how the show took such a restrained approach in showing their care for one another. It's really what I hope we'll see in the American Sherlock Holmes tv, a male and female who have a real friendship that isn't just leading up to a romance. I hate the saying "just friends" as though friendship were secondary to anything. Like friendship isn't as special as a romantic relationship. The Boosh are such a good example of how love and attraction isn't just restricted to a romantic relationship. Julian is a lucky man to have not one but two beautiful and hilarious wives. I have guy friend who, in another life, might have been romatic partners but their my boys! We're going out Friday and we're going to drink, swear, and talk about our feelings over hot wings

[bluestocking79]

Eeeeee, Good Omens fic! Petshop of Horrors is a manga series that's superficially about a sort of supernatural pet shop where people with personal issues get the pets they most need--or deserve. But mostly, it's about the relationship between the very beautiful and androgynous proprietor of the shop, Count D (who is utterly charming, loves clothes and sweets, and is frequently mistaken for a woman) and the detective who's supposed to be keeping tabs on him, Leon Orcot (who is gruff, scruffy, and emotionally damaged, but essentially kind). I'm pretty sure you can see where that's going. ;-)

Boy, I agree with you about people not giving friendship its due. The love of friendship can be deep--even deeper than romance, sometimes!--and enduring, and very beautiful and moving. I think Mulder and Scully are a great example of that. There was also sexual/romantic awareness there, sure, eventually, but their love for each other was always rooted in friendship first, and it was so big. They did amazing things for one another out of love

[clairvoyant]

*taking and leaving hugs and love and glittery kissesI've been in all those places you described. I've basked in the glow of social interaction at school, work, parties, family gatherings. When I lived on my own (even with roommates), I've suffered dry periods with no social contact, and while a little 'alone time' is a good thing, an entire weekend of it would make me itch for the promise of Monday and its concomitant classes or workplace, just so I could talk to people

[bluestocking79]

Yay! I can't wait for Fangirl Friday, either!! Something tells me we could both do with a good dose of squee. :D

And thank you, as always, my friend, for understanding and being there and just generally being your wonderful self. ~hugs and adores you~ &hearts

Of course you've put your finger on the pulse: that nagging question about whether you're bothering somebody, or whether you have the right to ask for reassurance when you're the one who's usually giving it. It's hard to reach out then, or to admit that you're feeling vulnerable. Or at least it is for me.

But of course, I also agree with you--and I know that you know I do--that we are here for each other, ultimately. I'd never hesitate to offer support to anybody else, and I need to learn that other people probably feel the same way when I'm the one who needs supporting.

You're wise, my friend. And perhaps I'm biased, but I'd never call you a curmudgeon! ~more hugs and glittery kisses~

[lux_astraea]

*squish*

I found you! (and remembered!)

:)

[bluestocking79]

Yay! I'm glad you did! Friended you back, of course. :-)

~squishes~