WIP - Untitled Cut & Run FanFic

[bluesylver]

Untitled WIP
Author: bluesylver
Fandom: Cut & Run by Abigail Roux
Characters: Zane & Becky Garrett
Warnings: Swearing, m/f sex, long ass sentences

Comments

[stargazer60]

Hi! I came here via tumblr. Love this! Becky is wonderful, the perfect companion to Zane in every way. Reading this adds so much depth to him and their relationship that you have captured here sets up why he went on such a downward spiral after she died.

Brilliant story!

[bluesylver]

Awww, thanks for the lovely comment. I was really nervous about posting this. I've just been having so many Zane/Becky feels since reading Touch & Geaux and realizing she died not long after that. I just don't buy the whole scenario that Zane was cold and distant until he met Ty. He may have appeared that way, but there's no way he would fall apart like he did if he was truly a cold person. The fact he was still wearing his wedding ring five years after she died, that it hurt him to take it off for his undercover assignment in F&C, that he hoped he would die when he was undercover in Miami, etc., all indicate that he was deeply in love with her. The glimpse we got of them together shows that.

[stargazer60]

I agree with all this. I loved the look into Zane and Becky's marriage in T&G, too.

And yes, while her death had to be devastating for him, there just *had* to be more to his psyche that caused him to fall so far. I think you captured all that brilliantly.

I hope this writing experience is just the beginning for you! There really has been a lot of great fanfic with these characters!

[youbloodysnake]

Jumping in on other people's comments to add that I agree. I don't think that Zane was that cold or distant all the time before Becky. I do think the character of Zane did get jerked around a bit thanks to Abi's co-author leaving and Abi having to start over a bit with him.

What you said is how I interpret Zane as well though, as someone who was deeply in love with his wife, but didn't really know how to socialize with other people and didn't really care to do so. Well done!

[youbloodysnake]

Hi there! This is amirosebooks from Tumblr

[youbloodysnake]

A note on the formatting for the paragraphs and speaking parts, you generally want to put a break between new thoughts or actions. It's a subtle difference, but it makes long scenes easier to read and can add impact to lines that may otherwise get lost in blocks of text. Breaking your lines up like this can also help you see where you might want to add more description, change around words or remove things altogether. I know it helps me when I write.

Try something like thisPressed next to Zane, Becky could feel his heart pounding. She slid her fingers into his hair as he kissed her. It was damp from sweat and long enough to start curling at the ends. She idly wished he would wear his hair like that all the time, but she knew he would cut it short again when their vacation was over. He was so determined to be the ideal agent

[youbloodysnake]

Overall this fic is really sweet and I loved getting this glimpse into Becky's head. I think you've got a solid start here and I really enjoy seeing the aftermath of Zane seeing Ty for the first time when he takes Becky back to the hotel

[bluesylver]

Thanks so much for the advice; this is exactly what I was looking for. Don't worry about the multiple comments; I'm glad you took the time and effort to comment so thoroughly

[youbloodysnake]

I do that too when I'm in a hurry to get my writing posted or sent off, scramble to get things written before I chicken out and don't send or post it. I think that's pretty normal. ;) You should have seen how much changed and was added between the first draft of the fight with Nick's dad that I wrote and the one I actually posted. That's all part of the process, changing everything and adding in all of the ideas you have but couldn't get out the first time you tried to tackle the scene