A Subtle Touch of Grace
Title: A Subtle Touch of Grace
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/OFC
Warnings: See Master Post for full list of warnings.
Word Count: 9,980
Summary:There are many sayings for the wants of man: you can't always get what you want, you don't know what you want until it's gone, and most importantly, you don't know what you want until you have it. After averting the Apocalypse, a miracle in the form of an Angel-Human Hybrid and the reorganization of Heaven brings Dean and Castiel both closer together and farther apart than ever before. Dean lives with a broken heart and finds Faith in unexpected places, Sam finds the normal life he's always wanted while on a hunt of all places, and Castiel discovers that God was closer than everyone thought.
One of the last things Dean had wanted to do was to leave Sam alone at Bobby's. However, Sam had managed to break his foot during their last hunt, and in accordance with Murphy's Law, had picked up a nasty bug from the person who'd been hacking away in the Emergency Room while they'd waited their turn.
Monsters were rarely considerate enough to lay off for two weeks. Hell, they barely managed one week at times.
So here Dean was, on his way to Utah, driving off to the ironically named town of Helper. The job seemed pretty straightforward, the typical salt-and-burn mission. The only reason Dean hadn't just put the case on the back burner was because of the vengeful spirit's choice of victim: children - very young children. All the accounted for victims had been between the ages of four and eight. Innocent children being preyed upon trumped pretty much everything in his book. Much as Dean hated leaving his brother... okay, snotty whining Sam he could leave. It was Bobby Dean felt sorry for. Well, maybe. Bobby had suddenly developed a little more tolerance after the odd incident that followed Gabriel's death; Michael had showed up the day after they reached the salvage yard and hauled the old hunter out of his wheelchair then left without a word.
Then there was the little matter of Gina Anelli from Blue Springs, Missouri. The fact that Sam kept her number and actually took her calls spoke volumes to Dean. As far as he knew, the last number from a girl his brother had put into his cell phone had been Jo's, and that was tied to hunting. He was almost positive the last girl who'd been in Sam Winchester's top ten contacts had been Jessica. This was something good, or at least that's what Dean kept telling himself. Three hours of watching the two of them at that Fourth of July picnic and you'd have to be blind not to see the chemistry between them. They hadn't gotten to spend much time together, owing to the way the Winchesters worked. However Dean didn't need to be told what went on when Sam mentioned he'd like to get separate hotel rooms about every other week. The very notion of his little brother having phone-sex with his long distance girlfriend - yes, Dean was going to start calling Gina that - was both amusing and good. At least one of the two of them should be getting some, even if it was just over a phone line. Dean also knew that Sam had sent Gina a gift for her birthday back in September, a silver chain with an anti-possession charm on it. After that whole thing with Ruby and considering that Meg was still out there...
Winchester Rule Number One: Do not, repeat, do not make deals and or get involved with demons. The old Rule Number One, never talk about what we do, was now rule number two. Making deals only caused trouble and agony and the end result was never worth what the deal was for. Looking back on what it caused, Dean wouldn't have made that cross-roads deal to save Sam. He would have killed Azazel and then gone on with life. Somehow, it would have worked out. He might have met Adam. He just might have saved Adam and his mother from those two ghouls. Dean would not have gone to Hell, the First Seal would not have broken and there would have been no Apocalypse. No. No he wouldn't have done that. He might have done a few things differently. But that deal, without that deal...
He wouldn't know Cas.
Dean, for his part, was starting to wish he'd dream about Cas more often. He had no idea what the angel was up to that kept him so busy, but then again, after all Cas had done for the Winchesters, he felt as if he didn't really have any right to complain. Still didn't mean he couldn't miss his angel with a fierce passion. One of the troubling factors about having a romantic relationship with an angel was the fact that when you dreamed about them, you had no way of knowing if it was your own mind or the angel manipulating things inside of your head. Dean figured it might be half-and-half. Either way...
He shook his head to clear it and glanced at his watch. It was almost six in the evening. It was already dark and the snowflakes brushing against the Impala's windshield told him that he'd have to stop for the night. He wasn't about to risk getting stuck in the middle of nowhere in mid-December. Cell phone service was patchy at best in the Rocky Mountains and, given the other ways he's died, freezing to death on the side of the road when he could have stopped was near the top of his list of ways not to go.
The first motel in the next town was more forlorn than anything else. Dean dropped his duffel bag on the single bed, glancing around his accommodations. A table with two chairs, a television that had probably been new ten years ago sitting in a cabinet-dresser combo that was clearly the newest piece of furniture in the room and in the closet, two extra blankets were folded on the shelf. A microwave stood on the counter outside the bathroom next to one of those two-cup coffee pots. The cheapest motel in this town that was a rest-stop on the way to the ski resorts of the Rockies was actually one of the nicer places he'd stayed. But it was still forlorn looking. Probably because every time Dean walked into a single bed room, he felt lonely. Weird, but true.
He was sitting down at the table to his dinner of take-out burger and fries when his phone rang. Dean smiled at the ring-tone of 'Smoke on the Water' and pulled it towards him, hoping and fully expecting to see either Bobby's or Sam's number on screen. It wasn't. It was Sally's. “What the hell?” He took a swig of beer, wincing faintly at the particularly strong taste of hops in his mouth (the only kind he'd found for sale was some local brewery's 'winter ale') and then hit the answer button. “Hey.”
There was a sniffle and then the girl cleared her throat. “Hey Dean. Look, I'm sorry to be bothering you but - ” she coughed, “Gina's been trying to call Sam and he's not answering. She's sort of freaked out.”
Dean smiled faintly and picked up a fry. “Sam's fine. Well, he's got a really, really nasty flu bug. That's probably why he's not answering the phone.”
“You there with him? She's just, well, you know...”
He sighed softly and leaned back in his seat. “He's at our uncle's house. I'm away for a few days.”
Sally let out a deep breath. “So he's fine?”
“Last time I spoke to him, which was this morning. Just the flu and a broken foot.” Dean snorted and munched on his food. “He fell but he'll be okay.”
“He broke his foot?” Dean heard a scuffle for a moment before the panicked voice of Gina screeched in his ear.
“Gina, Sam's fine. He just gets all pissy when he's sick or hurt. Give him another day and he'll be back to normal for him.” Why did his brother have to go for such emotional chicks?
“How did he break his foot?” She was starting to sound a little freaked again. “How...”
“Gina, could you put Sally back on the phone again, please?” Dean was about ready to scream as he took another sip of beer. Telling the exact circumstance in which Sam injured himself wasn't something he was about to do.
“Fine - ” Gina replied and Dean heard a muffled shuffling again.
“Hey.” Sally's voice sounded the way Dean felt.
“Sally, can you do something for me?” He stood up, his eyes focused on the snow whirling outside.
“I think so, what is it?” There was a sound that he guessed was her taking a drink.
“You at your brother's house right now? Down in Peculiar?”
“Yeah.”
“You and Mara... go take Gina out somewhere, get her mind off this. Sam's fine. She doesn't need to worry. He's broken a lot more than his foot in his life. He'll be his usual overgrown puppy self about this time tomorrow.”
“Going to be kind of hard. She doesn't want to turn her cell off in case he calls.” Sally let out a frustrated sigh.
“Well, I know it's kind of low, but you could try guilt tripping her.” Dean smiled at the notion. “Just find something to keep her mind off of Sam.”
“I guess we can try that.” There was a muffled sound and then Sally was back on the phone. “Does Sam like sugar cookies?”
Cookies? Dean bit back a retort. “Yeah. That's one of the few sweet things he'll eat.”
“'K. And Dean? Thanks.” Sally let out a relieved sound. “To tell you the truth, the way she carries on about your brother, it kind of makes me want to hit her with a frying pan sometimes.”
“Considering you work at a steakhouse, I imagine you're quite lethal with one of those.” Dean chuckled, feeling a little better. “And please, don't let her call me back in five minutes asking if I've talked to Sam. I'd sort of like to eat my dinner before it gets cold.”
“Sure.” Sally let out a laugh. “Knowing her, she's liable to make enough cookies for both of you and your uncle. Bye.”
“Take care of yourselves.” Dean pressed the off button on his phone and sat back down at the table. He picked his burger back up and took a massive bite out of it. He focused his attention on the window and the swirling snow outside. It'd been a while since he'd just sat and done something like that. When they were little, he and Sam used to fog up the windows of the motels their dad left them in and draw pictures on the glass. They couldn't waste paper to make snowflakes and other such things. Even though there was usually a pad of paper in every motel room, Dad had usually commandeered them for note taking. But the brothers had drawn swirls and just about anything and when they were done, they'd wipe the art away and just watch the fat flakes fall the same way they'd sometimes just stop and stare at the stars. He swallowed and took a drink of soda. This thing Sam had with Gina was starting to sound more serious than Dean had thought it was. As happy as he was for his little brother - there was no way of getting around it - he was jealous.
Jealous because Sam had someone. Long distance, yes, but it was someone. For them, there was a chance, probably less than fifty percent right now, but a chance. Dean, when it came to him and Cas... well, that had started slipping away months ago.
“Dean?”
He jumped and turned towards the far side of the room. “Cas? What is it?” He rose to his feet, surprised that he'd not heard the angel enter the room.
“I cannot stay very long, Dean.” Castiel closed his arms around the man, stroking his hair slowly as he felt Dean's face settle against his neck.
“What? How'd you find me? The uh...” Dean had thought the sigils on his ribcage kept him shielded from angels.
“It is something I do not have time to explain at the moment.” Castiel guided the two of them over to sit on the bed and he pulled away, taking Dean's face in both of his hands. “It's good to see you.”
“It is good to see you too, Cas.” He swallowed as the angel lowered his hands from his face to clasp his for a moment and then pulled away slightly. “What's wrong?”
The angel looked down at their hands, frowning ever so slightly. “I have missed you, Dean.”
Dean jerked his hands away, feeling foolish. They couldn't go back to that, they never could - they probably shouldn't have started in the first place.
“Do not think like that, Dean.” Castiel wished they could just go back to holding one another. “I would not change what happened between us.” Cas sighed and his shoulders slumped. It was peaceful to just be here, away from the noise of Heaven. While he could still hear it in his head, it was now muted and didn't seem as irritating since he was no longer in the thick of it. “It is late, you should get some rest.”
“Cas, it's just past seven...”
“I know, but you have had a long day.” Cas smiled faintly and leaned over to kiss his forehead. “I will be back soon. I do not want you to wait up for me to return. You need sleep.”
Leaving was one of the last things Dean wanted Cas to do - but before he could voice it, that nagging voice in the back of his mind - the one that always told him not for you, not now, not you, not you ever - silenced him. “So you'll be here in the morning then?”
The angel smiled. “Yes. When are you going to learn this is the one argument you cannot hope to win with me, Dean?”
“Probably when I'm dead and I can't sleep any longer.” He crumpled up the remains of his dinner and threw it into the trash.
Castiel smiled as he watched Dean get up and head to the bathroom. “When you're dead I intend to make it a point to keep you by my side almost always,” he said under his breath, his eyes following the man. “You have no idea what sort of Heaven is waiting for you.”
As Dean stood in the bathroom, scrubbing at his teeth, he tried to remember the last time he'd had a seriously good rest. At least a year, maybe longer than that. He spat a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. “I suppose you're just going to knock me out to make sure I rest.”
“It might come to that.” Castiel stood up and slowly walked towards the bathroom. “I will try not to wake you when I arrive.”
He rinsed his mouth out and went to change into sleep shirt and sweats. “Cas...”
The angel smiled and came over to embrace him tightly. “I want you to rest. Your sleeplessness causes me to worry.”
Dean held onto the angel for dear life, willing himself not to cry. “Don't worry about...”
“Do not tell me what I get to worry about, Dean. You of all people should know what happens when you try and tell me not to do something.”
He let out a weak chuckle. “Tough little nerd angel.”
Castiel squeezed him tighter. “Stubborn, obstinate, irreverent little human.”
“You like it when I'm irreverent.” Dean's voice was muffled against Castiel's neck.
The angel chuckled softly. “I better let go before I am tempted to stay longer. I will be here when you wake.”
“Have to get to Utah in the morning. There's a monster that's targeting kids.”
Castiel didn't need Dean to explain any further. When it came to hunting, anything that was targeting children ranked number one on his priority list. “Where in Utah?”
“Helper.” Dean pulled away, although it was the last thing he wanted to do. “Cas?”
“Rest.” Castiel kissed Dean on the forehead again, not trusting himself to make contact with his lips. “I have told you that I will be here when you wake and now, the problem in Helper will be gone.” A moment later, the angel tapped Dean on the forehead and when he lowered his hand, Dean was sound asleep under the covers of the bed. He leaned down, brushed his fingers through his hair and whispered against the hunter's ear. “I will be bringing someone with me, Dean. Someone who I've wanted you to meet for months now...”
With that, Castiel pulled away and returned to Heaven.
**
The location in Heaven where the fledglings were born and raised was so well protected, so well hidden that attacking it was unfathomable. Very few parents ever left the nests without their young so the nectar that the children fed on was delivered by cherubs who were still in training. Castiel had left his nest only for the span of five minutes, perhaps ten. During that time, he'd not left Liam alone - rather, after using a few contacts, he returned to his home within his home to find things almost exactly as he had left them with Liam sucking placidly on his bottle in the arms of his grandmother, Mary Winchester.
“You're back.” She didn't look up from the child's face; her own face was practically radiating joy.
“Yes.” Castiel carefully folded the raincoat he had worn while on Earth and climbed back into the warm nest. It only vaguely resembled an actual nest, at least, those that were built by birds. At first glance, might resemble a very large cushioned basin. “Were there any difficulties?”
Mary shook her head in reply. “No. He just seems to want to eat.” She looked up at him, her smile bright - and strangely, it made the angel think of Dean. “Although, it is sort of odd, being a grandmother to an angel.”
Castiel settled himself a few feet away from her. “I want to thank you for not...” He thought for a moment, searching for the right words. “I believe the phrase is 'freaking out' when you were asked to come here.”
Mary chuckled. “It wasn't the sort of request I was expecting when that, uh cherub or what exactly?”
“Cherub is the correct rank for Muriel - although most cherubs aren't as... low key as she is.”
“If materializing out of an ornament on a Christmas tree is low key, I'd hate to think what cherubs are normally like.” She shook her head and looked back down at Liam. “I also think you're wrong about him not looking like Dean, he's got Dean's chin. Same damn stubborn chin all the men in the Winchester family seem to have.” She flinched. “Sorry.”
“It is all right.” Castiel smiled faintly. “You think he resembles Dean?”
“A little.” She finally coaxed Liam into giving up the empty bottle. Despite the fact that he was now able to sit up and hold the bottle on his own, he still preferred to be held while he ate. “Children change. Sam and Dean both looked the same when they were born. Same chin, same patch of fuzz on their heads, same chubby cheeks and then...” She leaned back against the side of the nest, studying the child. “well...”
“I know,” he replied. “I believe many people are unable to tell they are brothers at first glance.”
She chuckled. “After seeing them, I can understand that. John's father and uncles were like that too. Unless their mother was with them or they were arguing, you'd never know they were related just by appearances.” She looked up from the child. “You didn't tell him, did you?”
“No.” Castiel let out a sigh and felt his shoulders fall slightly. “I am - I suppose I did not want to leave for very long.”
“Perhaps it was the desire to stay there that kept you from speaking.” Mary shook her head. “You'll be going back soon then?”
“Yes. I will take Liam with me next time.” Castiel knew that it was potentially one of the greatest risks he could take with his child at this point, but Dean needed to see, needed to know before Liam took it into his head he was tired of just watching and exploring their home. There was talk among the angels that the children like Liam wouldn't be put in a garrison together. Some wouldn't even be put into Michael's Legion at all, like many of their parents. As soon as it was determined who would take control of the angels that should be under Gabriel's command, some of the fledglings would be selected to join that group - possibly all of them. The most shocking revelation that had come from this new breed of not-quite angels was this: being half human, they would be able to take on a human form on Earth, freeing them from the burden of finding a vessel.
Mary set the child down, still smiling. “I do hope that you will let me see him again before he grows up.”
Castiel smiled as Liam rolled over from his back to his stomach and then stretched out his wings, overbalanced and was right back on his back again. “Of course, Mary. I do not believe it would be in my power to keep you from him.”
She nodded, bent down and placed a kiss on Liam's forehead. “You be a good boy, sweetie. Don't give either of your dads too much trouble.”
“Thank you again, Mary.”
The woman smiled and climbed out of the nest, ruffling Castiel's hair affectionately, as if he were a puppy. “You're most welcome, Castiel.” She gave Liam one last glance and slowly walked towards the door of the room, where Muriel was waiting to take her back to her own Heaven.
Castiel turned back to Liam, who was studying his hand as he opened and closed it, like it was the most fascinating thing in the entire universe. “Well, little one, guess it's time to get you ready to leave.”
**
Sam wasn't too perturbed about being left behind in South Dakota while Dean went on a hunt in Utah. The pain in his foot he could deal with, it was the insane flu that he was also suffering from that was the true source of his agony. The good news was, he'd stopped throwing up, but that could have been because he'd gone to a straight diet of water and broth this morning. He glanced at the clock and shook his head. It was just after ten at night and from the lack of sound coming from downstairs, Bobby was either deep in research or deep in sleep. He didn't feel horrible anymore, he just felt worn out.
He leaned over, flicked the lamp on and picked up his phone. One call from Dean and ten calls from Gina. Sam wasn't sure if he should laugh at that or not. Dean had no doubt called to just let him know he'd reached the place he was staying for the night safely, which was probably somewhere in Eastern Colorado or Wyoming. Gina, on the other hand was a completely different story. He was actually glad Dean wasn't there to give him a hard time about the 'possessiveness of that Blue Springs chick' - but Sam usually let such remarks slide. Despite the fact that he was still hunting, he actually felt more content these past five months than he had in a very long time. He double checked the time and quickly scrolled through his contacts before hitting the dial button. It only rang twice before it was answered.
“Sam? Sam is that you?” She sounded half panicked, half relieved.
“Yeah, it's me. What's wrong?” Sam grabbed a Kleenex and rubbed his nose.
“I talked to Dean. He said you broke your foot! Are you okay?”
Sam hacked once. “I'm fine, Gina. Little under the weather. I've been hurt worse than this.”
She let out a deep breath. “I was just worried.” She suddenly sounded embarrassed when she said, “You must think I'm a total spaz.”
“No, no it's okay.” Sam coughed again. “Could have done without catching the flu from someone in the ER, but other than that, just fine.”
“Well, I'm glad you called. Sorry if the reception changes; I'm going upstairs. Apart from sick and injured, how are you?”
“Not bad, yourself?” He took a sip of water from the glass that Bobby had left on the table, grimacing slightly at the warm taste.
“I'm at my sister's house. It was just for dinner and then, well it turned into a holiday baking thing I should have known better when she asked me to pick up some flour and sugar on my way here.” She let out a sigh. “What are you doing for the season?”
“Nothing much. At least nothing I that I know of.” Sam rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Dean had to go out of town for a few days. We'll probably just have dinner at our uncle's house and watch some football.”
“I'd invite you down.” There was a pause followed by a crash. “But family, you know.”
“Yeah. What was that?”
“That would be my brother-in-law getting the tree out of storage. Why he wants to do it at ten at night is beyond me.” Sam could almost see the woman's eyes roll through the phone. “It wouldn't be the first time he's done something like this.”
“I bet.” Sam rubbed at his nose again. “So you called Dean?”
“Actually...” He heard the embarrassment in her voice. “Sally called Dean. I was starting to freak her out.”
“Whatever gave her that idea?” He started to chuckle and that shortly turned into a cough.
“Well, you know, I told you about what happened to Justin.”
“Yeah.” Sam took another drink of water. He'd done some researching of his own and discovered that Justin Rawls had been like him - one of Azazel's special children - and had most likely been killed by Ava Wilson. “Sorry to make you worry like that. I guess I'm so used to it just being a few family members that adding a new person to the mix throws me for a loop.” He was starting to feel a lot better, just talking to her. “Seriously, don't worry too much about me.”
“Can't help it, it's a habit of mine. When I was in grade school my best friend had her tonsils taken out and I was freaked the whole time, even though I knew it was a fairly simple operation.”
“You've got a caring personality, that's all.” Sam took another drink of water. “Not keeping you up, am I?”
“I'm good.” There was a round of cursing and then she laughed. “I think Greg just found where he left that rock collection of his.”
“Sounds crazy.” He closed his eyes, leaned back against the headboard and set a pillow in his lap. “Sorry I didn't call earlier this week.”
“No, don't start with that.” He could hear the smile in her voice. “Holidays make everything go insane.” She sighed. “I hate to ask this, but do you know if you'll be able to come by anytime soon?”
Sam let out a long breath. “I dunno, I might be able to.” He and Dean had stuck to the story of being just in town for a few days back in July - no specific job listed. “Have to see what's going on.”
“It just... it sucks, you know?”
“I agree. It totally sucks.” He closed his eyes, wincing faintly. “I'd sort of like to be there right now, but I'd probably give you this nasty flu bug I caught.”
“Well, your brother didn't catch it.”
“I don't think I'd want to do the things with my brother that I'd like to and have done with you, Gin.” He grinned. “And you just went red, didn't you?”
“Sam!” Gina couldn't keep the embarrassed giggle from her voice.
“Sorry.”
“Don't be sorry, just focus on getting better! Maybe you can come down for New Years or something... I don't care if your brother has to tag along.” There was a pause. “I keep forgetting, where does his boyfriend live? Is it Australia or New Zealand?”
“Christchurch. That's in New Zealand,” Sam replied, glad that Dean had developed some sort of cover story for Cas. The only trouble was that when the angel showed up again, they'd have to explain to him what was going on, if needs be. In retrospect, Sam felt that the lie about Castiel's true home was rather justified. Given the looks Sam had seen some women - and even a few men - give his brother in the past few months, which Dean had completely ignored, the angel really didn't have any real reason to object.
“Must be hard for him, but they still get to talk, right?”
“Yeah.” He took another drink of water. “Time zones tend to be a problem now and then.” He coughed as he set the glass back down. “Excuse me.”
“You don't sound all that bad. Or is that the decongestant talking?”
“I sound a lot better than I feel. It's either take the cold medicine for the flu or take the pain meds for the foot. I'm going for the former at this point.” He adjusted himself in bed, flicking the light off and laying back down. “Listen, I'll see if I can talk Dean into going down to KC for New Years. Hell, he and Sally can probably find something to do. She's been a good friend for him.”
“I think you've got that the other way around. Sally was an absolute wreck about Tim until Dean showed up. Quite frankly, I think Tim rather likes the idea of her having someone who she can empathize with while he's gone. Hell, odds are if you do come down here and the two of them find something to do together, Tim would be glad there was someone to keep the guys off of her.”
“Well, if we do manage to make it, 'fraid dancing will have to be off the menu, I'll still be on crutches.”
“Hey, if all we do is sit and play Scrabble and drink wine, I'll be happy.”
Sam smiled. “Gin, I'll do what I can to convince Dean to come down there, but if we can't...”
“I know, I know. I'm just glad you're in the same country. Still don't know how Sally does it.”
“It's late, you should get some sleep.” Sam covered a yawn. “I should get some more sleep myself. See if I can wear this bug out.”
“You take care of yourself, you hear?” Gina answered with a yawn of her own.
“I'll do what I can.” He closed his eyes, feeling pleasantly warm. “Sorry I didn't call you back sooner.”
“Hey, not your fault. I really should learn not to panic.”
“Don't start on that, you've got good reasons.”
“Yeah. G'nite Sam.”
“'Night Gina.” Sam heard her end the call before hitting the off button on his own cell and setting the phone back down on the side table. After blowing his nose, he readjusted himself, grunting as his foot twitched in pain. As he pulled the covers up to his chin, he heard the unmistakable sound of frozen rain lashing against the windows. “Hope the weather's nicer south of here.” He yawned again and fell asleep.
**
The temperature in the motel room was colder than Castiel had expected - sometime during his departure a few hours ago and now, the snowstorm outside had worsened and the heater was doing its best to keep things reasonably warm. He was glad, however, that he'd gotten Liam to sleep before they left. Quietly, he tucked the child into the bed next to Dean, then retrieved the other two blankets from the closet and added them to the bed-covers. He quickly started putting up more wards to keep out more than just what the salt lines and various other charms would. He'd actually gotten rid of the monster in Utah before returning to Heaven earlier this evening, so there was a little more time bought for the three of them. He double checked everything before undressing and sliding into bed on Liam's other side. Even in sleep, the fledgling turned towards him, seeking out the one person he knew best with his Grace. For his part, it wasn't so much the blankets or the extra body heat that was keeping Castiel warm. It was the knowledge that for the first time in months, the family was all together in one place. He moved over until his head rested just a few feet from Dean's and set his hand on Liam's back, the way they almost always slept. Tomorrow would be a lot of firsts for this family. He just hoped that Dean would be able to handle them all.
“Cas?” Dean coughed, having been awoken by the shifting of weight on the bed. “That you?”
“Yes.” The angel moved his hand from Liam's back to the side of Dean's head, rubbing it softly. “Go back to sleep.”
“Don't wanna sleep.” Dean's eyes flicked open. “I've been sleeping. What time is it?”
“It's just after one.” Castiel smiled. “It's better if you sleep.”
“Dude, it was before eight when I went to bed...” Dean rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes. “That's - I don't need that much sleep.”
This wasn't exactly how Castiel had planned all of this. Truthfully, he hadn't planned this out all that clearly in the first place. At least Dean was keeping his voice down. “Humor me.”
Dean chuckled in response. “Fine, fine. I'll stay in bed, but I can't promise to fall asleep.”
It was right then Dean felt a soft kick against his ribs. “What?” He turned back towards Castiel and saw the other figure in the bed. It was too small to be anything but an infant or a very small child. This was... awkward. “Uh, Cas...” Dean swallowed. “Who's your friend?”
The angel let out a low breath and sat up a little. “This is Liam.”
“Liam?” Dean frowned. “I don't suppose you're gonna tell me that...”
“It's complicated, Dean.” Castiel rubbed the infant's back. “I... I was surprised.”
“Surprised?” Dean sat up, almost immediately wanting to sink back into the blankets at the sharp contrast of the cool room against his skin. “You mean...” His mind started working faster than he thought it could without the influence of coffee at this time of the morning. He lay back down rubbing his eyes. “So... wait, wait... how is this even possible?”
Castiel sighed and pulled the blankets back over the three of them. “It... it just happened, Dean. It was not something that could be prevented.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Dean kept his voice quiet, even though he felt like screaming.
“Angels can be conceived in the same way humans are and that is usually how it arises. But sometimes, angels can come into being in other ways. I... this is why I couldn't come and see you sooner than now. It wasn't safe.”
Dean was still trying to process everything. A kid. Cas and I have a kid. This has got to be a dream of some kind - “So Liam...he's what, half human, half angel?”
“Yes.” Castiel sighed. “Although, before you ask, he differs from the Nephilim.”
“How?” Dean couldn't help the way his voice raised slightly.
“The Nephilim were born to human mothers. They came about in the human way. There are other children like Liam. Although not all of their angelic and human parents had carnal relationships.”
“Dude...” Dean covered his eyes with his hand. “Sorry, just hearing that word out of an angel's mouth....”
“I believe you've heard more... I believe your term was 'dirty'... words out of my mouth than carnal. Most of which I will not repeat now because of the presence of a child.” He was certain Dean's ears had turned red. “And now you are stunned that I said that with a straight face.”
“Crap, you can read minds again, can't you?” Dean lowered his hand and turned over to face the angel. “So - I mean - I'm not sure how to handle something like this, Cas. I mean, the closest I've come to this situation before was when I met Ben.”
“The Braeden boy.” Castiel let out a soft breath. “I know of whom you speak. I also know that you still think about his mother from time to time.”
Dean turned his face into his pillow. “Cas, I'm -”
“Do not apologize, Dean. I know of your desire to have a home and a family and you have already realized that won't be entirely possible with me.” Castiel felt his heart lurch at the words. “I am sorry.”
“Don't. Just don't Cas.” He turned back towards the two of them, taking a deep breath. “This isn't the sort of time for us to be all melodramatic and chick-flicky.” He reached out and touched the angel's face with his fingertips. “We have time right now. Let's just enjoy it and save our... lover's quarrels or whatever you want to call this for when I'm dreaming and you're in Heaven.”
Castiel bit off the desire to issue a retort and instead moved a little closer to Dean, so the two of them were almost head to head, with Liam still dozing between them. “Very well.”
Dean tentatively put his hand over Cas' on the boy's back, trying not to think about how very real and yet unbelievable all of this was right now. “Liam huh? Where'd that name come from?”
Castiel slid his hand out from under Dean's and then set it against Dean's face, rubbing his cheekbone with his thumb. “I named him after his father.” He smiled. “The strong-willed warrior.”
*
Dean woke up the next morning to the sensation of someone poking at his face. He absently brushed his hand in front of his face, half asleep. “Stop it Sam, I'm up.” There was a small noise that sounded almost like a chirp and he slowly opened his eyes. A pair of bright green eyes, exactly like his own, were staring back at him, blinking in confusion. “Oh, hello.” He was pretty much at a loss as what to do otherwise. “You're up.” He looked behind him at the table next to the bed. “It's really that late?”
“Yes,” Castiel spoke from his spot in front of the window. “Although most people would not consider seven late.”
Dean sat up in bed and Liam promptly crawled into his lap, still gazing up at him. “He always this affectionate?”
“He is curious.” The angel turned, walked over to the bed and sat down. “Until now, he has only seen human souls. He has never seen one in an earthly body until now.” He smiled. “Although I have told him about you, I am unsure of how much he comprehended.”
“He's a... how old is he exactly?” Dean adjusted the boy on his lap, frowning. “If I went by size alone I'd say... I dunno... seven, eight months?”
“Chronologically, he is five months old. His mental age is about what you guessed although he has not exhibited much desire to move under his own power too often. He would rather sit and observe for the time being.” Castiel smiled and brushed the boy's unruly dark hair down. “Which has been fine with me. I have... it has been a long time, Dean.”
“Yeah...” He sighed as Liam climbed out of his lap and crawled across the bed to climb into Castiel's. “He's beautiful, Cas.” True, it sounded corny the moment he said it, but what else was there to say? “What's the weather like out there?”
“It's still snowing. Even if I was not here with you, I do not believe you would be able to leave this town and head for Utah.” He looked down, sighing. “In truth Dean, I did not have any idea of what would happen when you finally met Liam, nor did I have any plans further than last night's rest.”
Dean coughed and stood up to make some coffee. “Well, it's not like I had any plans other than ganking that monster and getting back to Sioux Falls before Christmas, so there you have it... no plans made pretty much clears our schedules.” He frowned. “Or do you have to go back in just a few hours?”
Castiel smiled. “I can spare a few days. It is not so much the lack of time but the amount of danger involved with having an angel as young as Liam is on Earth.”
“He's not in a vessel, is he?” Dean turned from the coffee pot. “He's...”
“This is his current form, although I have managed to hide his wings in case we are seen. But he will never require a vessel, given his parentage, even when he achieves his true form.”
“True form?” He poured himself a cup of coffee and came back over to the bed, where Liam had crawled from his father's lap and was now peering down at the floor below, looking as if he was contemplating the distance and the best method to get down. “What do you mean by true form? Is that how Raphael was able to knock out the power to the Eastern Seaboard? He was moving in true form? And is that how all those trees in Pontiac got uprooted?”
“Yes.” Castiel lowered Liam to the floor before he could take a nosedive and the child made his way across the room, heading for the table. “But, most likely, that will not come about for many years.”
“Your idea of time or mine?” Dean sat down next to him, taking a drink of coffee.
“Yours.” Castiel tilted his head to the side, frowning. “I would suspect his true form will be close to the same size as mine when he achieves it.”
“Just how big is that, anyway?” He took another sip of coffee.
“Roughly the size of the Chrysler Building.”
Dean hacked on the mouthful of coffee and spluttered. “Are you kidding?”
Castiel tilted his head to the side. “Why would I make something like that up?”
He set the cup down and coughed once or twice, trying to regain his breath. “It's just that's pretty crazy, Cas. Thinkin' of you being that tall.” Dean was marking this day as the strangest he'd had in close to forever. “Wait... wait... forget that for a moment...” His mind had just registered something else. “...You're telling me the kid has wings?”
“Of course he has wings.” Castiel frowned. “Angels are born with them. They are as much of an appendage to us as arms and legs are to you.” He sighed as Liam made his way back over to them and pulled himself to a stand using the bedspread. “I realize this must be daunting for you.”
“That's an understatement.” Dean picked his cup back up and took a gulp of coffee. The truth of the matter was, it wasn't so daunting and hard to believe. However, this was just another way to remind him of the very vast difference between him and Cas. That he was just a human - and a pretty insignificant one at that.
“Can you really think that about yourself, Dean?” Castiel put one hand on his shoulder. This is the way it always was with Dean. The feeling that somehow he didn't deserve the blessings he received , it was one of the things he dearly wished he could get the man to accept, that he was worthy of the fortune and gifts that he was given. “I do not think of you as such.”
“Cas...” Dean wanted to argue the point that really, he wasn't much in this family of three, but still...
“You forget, Dean Winchester, I have seen you out of your mortal coil - I saw what you were before I put you back together and that was nothing insignificant. Even among the light from the angels, your soul was a shining beacon in that unspeakably filthy pit in Hell.”
He was about to issue another retort when Castiel pressed his lips against his. The culmination of nearly eight months apart, meeting only briefly in dreams that Dean still wasn't sure were shared or just in his own head, the desire, the longing, the just plain togetherness that he had missed was there, in that single kiss. He slid a hand behind Cas' head and returned and deepened the kiss, the tip of his tongue grazing along the angel's teeth. The last time he had kissed Castiel, the angel had tasted faintly of peppermint and booze. Now, now he tasted of something akin to honey, something he couldn't entirely place, but yet it was familiar. It's been too damn long. That was about the only completely coherent thought Dean could manage as he slid both hands onto the sides of the angel's face, not wanting to break the touch for anything.
Castiel didn't want to end the kiss either, wanted to just stay there, in that moment - for as long as possible. Reluctantly, almost hesitantly, he pulled back and placed another kiss on Dean's forehead. “Don't ever think you don't deserve to be happy, Dean.”
“I -” His next word was cut off by a yowl of pain and the two of them looked down to see Liam, one hand grasping Castiel's slacks and having managed to grab a hold of some of Dean's skin through his pajama pants. Dean took one look at the child's face and snickered. “Oh no.”
“What is it?” Castiel couldn't imagine what could be wrong.
“That's the exact same look Sam used to get when he was up to no good. And don't go telling me Liam can't cause any trouble. Just because he's a little angel doesn't mean he can't get up to mischief.” He leaned down and pulled the boy into his lap as Castiel's smile suddenly became a little more pronounced and he made a small noise that sounded like an amused huff. “One of these days we're going to get you to laugh, Cas. Might take a long time, but I'm looking forward to making you chuckle someday.”
“You are not funny, Dean.” Castiel made an attempt at looking offended, but then took a second look at the pair - both of them giving him the exact same expectant look, eyebrows raised, green eyes wide. “And I do believe I am outnumbered....”
*
The next few days were probably among the best of Dean's life. Being snowed-in at the motel didn't prove to be too big of a problem, particularly since Cas had no issue in going off to get food. The manager of the place had called all of the rooms, checking on the people who were currently stuck there and the only thing Dean had gotten from the intrepid workers of the place were clean towels and soap. The staff never knew that two more people were staying in the room with him. He'd also gotten hold of Sam and told him what was going on and then told him that unless it was an emergency, he wasn't going to be answering his phone. Sam had pleaded TMI and hung up. Dean didn't know what his brother's problem was. He had caught him and Gina having phone sex once before Sam had the foresight to start getting separate rooms from time to time. He did not tell Sam about Liam however. He wanted to do that in person. Cas had been slightly bemused at the story the Winchesters had fabricated about him, but nonetheless agreed with it.
“Is he still sleeping?” Castiel came in from the bathroom, rubbing at his damp hair with a towel.
“Yeah,” Dean said from his spot on the bed, where Liam was lying down with Dean's leather jacket over him as a blanket. “Does he usually sleep this much?”
“Occasionally.” He leaned down and kissed the top of Dean's head. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Back's a little sore, but a good sore.” He smirked at the angel. “So don't start with your apologies.”
Castiel shook his head and set the towel down by the sink. “I wouldn't dream of it.” He gave Dean a look. “You seemed to enjoy it.”
Dean felt his ears turn slightly pink and he looked back down at Liam. “Well, you got me there.” He sighed. “You have to leave tomorrow, don't you?”
“Yes.” The angel came back to the bed and sat down. “I don't know when it will be possible for me to come back. Again, the trouble isn't me, it's...”
“Cas, we've been through this. I don't want the two of you taking risks you shouldn't for my sake. I'll be fine. Hell, you've got your Grace back, so it's not like we can't talk.”
Castiel slid an arm around Dean's shoulders and hugged him. “I know, but even you do not feel it's the same.”
“It's better than nothing.” He returned the hug. “Still wish there was something I could do for the two of you, I mean...”
“It is not necessary. The things that are needed to rear a fledgling in Heaven are already being provided.”
“I still feel like I should do something.” Dean rubbed the back of his head. “Guess you can chalk it up to my human nature or what-have-you.”
“Keep yourself safe. That is what you can do for the two of us,” Castiel said, his tone turning serious.
“Can't promise that, but I'll try.”
The angel gave him another hug and kissed his cheek. “That's all I ask.”
**
Sam shifted in the backseat of the Impala, adjusting his foot on the pillow across from him. “Dean, I really appreciate this.”
“No problem. Though what you and Gina are going to be doing, I have -” Dean paused. “Wait, I don't think I want to know what you guys are gonna be doing.”
Sam chuckled and made a face at his brother.. “I know you made plans with Sally.”
“Sally's a friend, Sam. You know that. Besides, I told Cas about her. Not to mention the little factor that she's ten years my junior. I was killing werewolves when she was learning to read.” Dean shook his head. “Anyway, she found some theater that's got a special event. They're showing the classic Star Wars trilogy, not all that newfangled stuff they added when we were teens Sam. I'm talking classic, Han shoots first, the old guy's playing Anakin at the end of Jedi, all they did was clean up the print Star Wars.”
“Yeah, and you're not a geek.” Sam snorted.
“Well, she doesn't drink and watching Ryan Seacrest in Times Square isn't exactly our cup of tea. Not to mention she's actually amazed she got the night off...” Dean sighed. “Didn't you say you were going to a movie too?”
“Yeah.” He looked slightly abashed. “Gina's been looking for someone to go see Dawn Treader with and - ” He glared at Dean who'd started to chuckle. “Go ahead, keep laughing.” He snorted. “You're the one going to see Star Wars.”
“And eat dinner while I'm at it.” Dean sighed. “Sorry I didn't get back in time for Christmas. That was horrible.” He shook his head. “Two hours from Sioux Falls and they close the highway.”
“Well, I'd rather you be safe in a motel in Mitchel than freezing to death on I-90.” Sam sighed. “So here we are, heading down to KC two days before New Year's, just because you're worried it will snow again.”
“I seem to recall a certain someone's eyes lighting up followed by the phrase 'I need to get cleaned up' when I agreed to make the journey.” Dean smirked. “Yeah, I'm happy for you Sammy. Gina's a great girl.”
Sam smiled and looked back out the window. “So, we gonna work a case next week?”
“Depends on how well your foot's healed up. Maybe we can find a few easy ones. Nothing more than salt-and-burns until your foot's no longer out of commission.”
“Yeah... sounds good,” he said quietly.
Dean glanced in the rear-view mirror at his brother, thinking. The time between finding hunts was starting to grow longer. It used to be a few days, sometimes a week and if they were really lucky, two weeks. Either the monsters were running to ground following the failed Apocalypse, or the angels had gone on a monster killing spree before going home. Whatever it was he didn't want to admit it, didn't want to say it, but he had to. “Sam - I know that look.”
“What look?” Sam didn't turn from the window.
“That's the look you used to get when you'd think about not hunting.” Dean sighed as he eased the Impala past a semi. “Look...”
“Dean, I...” Sam took a deep breath before speaking again. “...I don't know if- I mean -”
“One of us should get what they want in life, Sam. Adam might have gotten it if there hadn't been those two ghouls. So if it's down to you or me, I'd rather you have it. You've wanted it forever.”
“And you haven't?” Sam voice was incredulous. “I don't -”
“We don't have to make any decisions, Sam. But I know you. 'Sides, I've seen your face when you talk about Gina. You get the same look you had when you used to talk about Jess.”
The younger Winchester let out a long breath. “I do, huh?”
“Yeah.” Dean sighed. “Like I said, it's something we can talk about after this weekend. See how things are after that.”
Sam shrugged. “I just... Fine.” He leaned back against the door. “So, when you going to see Cas again? You pick a time?”
“Don't know... it's not exactly easy for him to slip down here anymore.” Dean sighed. “I try not to think about it, actually.” He reached into his pocket and dug out his phone. “Wanna show you something.” He held it out to Sam. “Scroll through the pictures on that. The ones I want you to see are near the end.”
Sam took the phone, smirking. He figured his brother had snapped some shots of him and Gina back in September and wanted to show him what look he was talking about.“You know...” He started scrawling through thumbnails, most of them weird shots of plates of food, a few badly aimed shots of the Impala - and then he stopped.
The seventh photograph from the end was of a sleeping infant, a fuzz of dark hair wearing an off-white set of pajamas, or a onesie - it was hard to tell with Dean's leather jacket covering his lower half. Along the end of the sleeve were three stripes - red, green and purple - and the child looked to be about seven months old. “Who- ” The next photo was the same kid, different outfit, only this time he was awake and Castiel was holding him. “Is- ” The next photo was the kid alone, sitting on the floor, looking up. “Dean, who's the kid?” He flipped through the rest of the photos - all of them the same kid. The last one was both Dean and the kid, asleep, the boy resting against his brother, both of them the perfect picture of contentment. “Dean?”
“That's Liam.” There was an odd tone in Dean's voice, one Sam couldn't quite place. This was something new; he'd not heard this from his brother before.
“Uh, Dean... you and Cas... I mean...” Sam was rapidly putting two and two together. “Holy shit, Dean.”
“That's about what I was thinking when I found out myself, Sammy.” Sam could place the tone then. It was pride.
“Wow - ” Sam swallowed. “This - is this why Cas won't be back?”
“Something like that, yeah, Sammy.” Dean sighed and held his hand out for his phone and Sam put it back. “Things just got a little more complicated, that's all.”
“Complicated has always been the norm with you two.” Sam folded his arms and returned his gaze to the window. “So I mean, what are the two of you going to do?”
“It's rather dangerous for Cas to bring Liam to Earth.” He shrugged. “So we'll just do the best we can.” He shook his head. “Oh, another thing. Already told Bobby this - apparently before all the angels got called back to Heaven, there was a major demon smack-down. Cleaned out half of the upper echelons of Hell. They haven't found Meg yet, but they got Crowley.”
“Shit.” Sam turned from the window. “Guess that explains why things have been kind of quiet.”
“I don't think it will last, but hey, few less things to worry about.” Dean snorted. “Lousy bastard Crowley. Thank god Cas found that coin the scumbag put in the Impala. Who knows what the fucker could have found out from that.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” Sam remembered when the angel had found the tracking coin tucked carefully under the Impala's rear bumper. They'd burned the thing shortly thereafter. “So I guess I'm an uncle then.”
“Something like that.” Dean smiled. “You want to stop at that diner in Sioux City for lunch?”
Sam thought for a moment. “You mean the one that serves like, the platter of onion rings that's enough for three people?”
“Yup.” Dean grinned. “Come on, Sammy, it's not like you can't brush your teeth before we get to Blue Springs.”
In response, Sam laughed.
Chapter Three
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/OFC
Warnings: See Master Post for full list of warnings.
Word Count: 9,980
Summary:There are many sayings for the wants of man: you can't always get what you want, you don't know what you want until it's gone, and most importantly, you don't know what you want until you have it. After averting the Apocalypse, a miracle in the form of an Angel-Human Hybrid and the reorganization of Heaven brings Dean and Castiel both closer together and farther apart than ever before. Dean lives with a broken heart and finds Faith in unexpected places, Sam finds the normal life he's always wanted while on a hunt of all places, and Castiel discovers that God was closer than everyone thought.
One of the last things Dean had wanted to do was to leave Sam alone at Bobby's. However, Sam had managed to break his foot during their last hunt, and in accordance with Murphy's Law, had picked up a nasty bug from the person who'd been hacking away in the Emergency Room while they'd waited their turn.
Monsters were rarely considerate enough to lay off for two weeks. Hell, they barely managed one week at times.
So here Dean was, on his way to Utah, driving off to the ironically named town of Helper. The job seemed pretty straightforward, the typical salt-and-burn mission. The only reason Dean hadn't just put the case on the back burner was because of the vengeful spirit's choice of victim: children - very young children. All the accounted for victims had been between the ages of four and eight. Innocent children being preyed upon trumped pretty much everything in his book. Much as Dean hated leaving his brother... okay, snotty whining Sam he could leave. It was Bobby Dean felt sorry for. Well, maybe. Bobby had suddenly developed a little more tolerance after the odd incident that followed Gabriel's death; Michael had showed up the day after they reached the salvage yard and hauled the old hunter out of his wheelchair then left without a word.
Then there was the little matter of Gina Anelli from Blue Springs, Missouri. The fact that Sam kept her number and actually took her calls spoke volumes to Dean. As far as he knew, the last number from a girl his brother had put into his cell phone had been Jo's, and that was tied to hunting. He was almost positive the last girl who'd been in Sam Winchester's top ten contacts had been Jessica. This was something good, or at least that's what Dean kept telling himself. Three hours of watching the two of them at that Fourth of July picnic and you'd have to be blind not to see the chemistry between them. They hadn't gotten to spend much time together, owing to the way the Winchesters worked. However Dean didn't need to be told what went on when Sam mentioned he'd like to get separate hotel rooms about every other week. The very notion of his little brother having phone-sex with his long distance girlfriend - yes, Dean was going to start calling Gina that - was both amusing and good. At least one of the two of them should be getting some, even if it was just over a phone line. Dean also knew that Sam had sent Gina a gift for her birthday back in September, a silver chain with an anti-possession charm on it. After that whole thing with Ruby and considering that Meg was still out there...
Winchester Rule Number One: Do not, repeat, do not make deals and or get involved with demons. The old Rule Number One, never talk about what we do, was now rule number two. Making deals only caused trouble and agony and the end result was never worth what the deal was for. Looking back on what it caused, Dean wouldn't have made that cross-roads deal to save Sam. He would have killed Azazel and then gone on with life. Somehow, it would have worked out. He might have met Adam. He just might have saved Adam and his mother from those two ghouls. Dean would not have gone to Hell, the First Seal would not have broken and there would have been no Apocalypse. No. No he wouldn't have done that. He might have done a few things differently. But that deal, without that deal...
He wouldn't know Cas.
Dean, for his part, was starting to wish he'd dream about Cas more often. He had no idea what the angel was up to that kept him so busy, but then again, after all Cas had done for the Winchesters, he felt as if he didn't really have any right to complain. Still didn't mean he couldn't miss his angel with a fierce passion. One of the troubling factors about having a romantic relationship with an angel was the fact that when you dreamed about them, you had no way of knowing if it was your own mind or the angel manipulating things inside of your head. Dean figured it might be half-and-half. Either way...
He shook his head to clear it and glanced at his watch. It was almost six in the evening. It was already dark and the snowflakes brushing against the Impala's windshield told him that he'd have to stop for the night. He wasn't about to risk getting stuck in the middle of nowhere in mid-December. Cell phone service was patchy at best in the Rocky Mountains and, given the other ways he's died, freezing to death on the side of the road when he could have stopped was near the top of his list of ways not to go.
The first motel in the next town was more forlorn than anything else. Dean dropped his duffel bag on the single bed, glancing around his accommodations. A table with two chairs, a television that had probably been new ten years ago sitting in a cabinet-dresser combo that was clearly the newest piece of furniture in the room and in the closet, two extra blankets were folded on the shelf. A microwave stood on the counter outside the bathroom next to one of those two-cup coffee pots. The cheapest motel in this town that was a rest-stop on the way to the ski resorts of the Rockies was actually one of the nicer places he'd stayed. But it was still forlorn looking. Probably because every time Dean walked into a single bed room, he felt lonely. Weird, but true.
He was sitting down at the table to his dinner of take-out burger and fries when his phone rang. Dean smiled at the ring-tone of 'Smoke on the Water' and pulled it towards him, hoping and fully expecting to see either Bobby's or Sam's number on screen. It wasn't. It was Sally's. “What the hell?” He took a swig of beer, wincing faintly at the particularly strong taste of hops in his mouth (the only kind he'd found for sale was some local brewery's 'winter ale') and then hit the answer button. “Hey.”
There was a sniffle and then the girl cleared her throat. “Hey Dean. Look, I'm sorry to be bothering you but - ” she coughed, “Gina's been trying to call Sam and he's not answering. She's sort of freaked out.”
Dean smiled faintly and picked up a fry. “Sam's fine. Well, he's got a really, really nasty flu bug. That's probably why he's not answering the phone.”
“You there with him? She's just, well, you know...”
He sighed softly and leaned back in his seat. “He's at our uncle's house. I'm away for a few days.”
Sally let out a deep breath. “So he's fine?”
“Last time I spoke to him, which was this morning. Just the flu and a broken foot.” Dean snorted and munched on his food. “He fell but he'll be okay.”
“He broke his foot?” Dean heard a scuffle for a moment before the panicked voice of Gina screeched in his ear.
“Gina, Sam's fine. He just gets all pissy when he's sick or hurt. Give him another day and he'll be back to normal for him.” Why did his brother have to go for such emotional chicks?
“How did he break his foot?” She was starting to sound a little freaked again. “How...”
“Gina, could you put Sally back on the phone again, please?” Dean was about ready to scream as he took another sip of beer. Telling the exact circumstance in which Sam injured himself wasn't something he was about to do.
“Fine - ” Gina replied and Dean heard a muffled shuffling again.
“Hey.” Sally's voice sounded the way Dean felt.
“Sally, can you do something for me?” He stood up, his eyes focused on the snow whirling outside.
“I think so, what is it?” There was a sound that he guessed was her taking a drink.
“You at your brother's house right now? Down in Peculiar?”
“Yeah.”
“You and Mara... go take Gina out somewhere, get her mind off this. Sam's fine. She doesn't need to worry. He's broken a lot more than his foot in his life. He'll be his usual overgrown puppy self about this time tomorrow.”
“Going to be kind of hard. She doesn't want to turn her cell off in case he calls.” Sally let out a frustrated sigh.
“Well, I know it's kind of low, but you could try guilt tripping her.” Dean smiled at the notion. “Just find something to keep her mind off of Sam.”
“I guess we can try that.” There was a muffled sound and then Sally was back on the phone. “Does Sam like sugar cookies?”
Cookies? Dean bit back a retort. “Yeah. That's one of the few sweet things he'll eat.”
“'K. And Dean? Thanks.” Sally let out a relieved sound. “To tell you the truth, the way she carries on about your brother, it kind of makes me want to hit her with a frying pan sometimes.”
“Considering you work at a steakhouse, I imagine you're quite lethal with one of those.” Dean chuckled, feeling a little better. “And please, don't let her call me back in five minutes asking if I've talked to Sam. I'd sort of like to eat my dinner before it gets cold.”
“Sure.” Sally let out a laugh. “Knowing her, she's liable to make enough cookies for both of you and your uncle. Bye.”
“Take care of yourselves.” Dean pressed the off button on his phone and sat back down at the table. He picked his burger back up and took a massive bite out of it. He focused his attention on the window and the swirling snow outside. It'd been a while since he'd just sat and done something like that. When they were little, he and Sam used to fog up the windows of the motels their dad left them in and draw pictures on the glass. They couldn't waste paper to make snowflakes and other such things. Even though there was usually a pad of paper in every motel room, Dad had usually commandeered them for note taking. But the brothers had drawn swirls and just about anything and when they were done, they'd wipe the art away and just watch the fat flakes fall the same way they'd sometimes just stop and stare at the stars. He swallowed and took a drink of soda. This thing Sam had with Gina was starting to sound more serious than Dean had thought it was. As happy as he was for his little brother - there was no way of getting around it - he was jealous.
Jealous because Sam had someone. Long distance, yes, but it was someone. For them, there was a chance, probably less than fifty percent right now, but a chance. Dean, when it came to him and Cas... well, that had started slipping away months ago.
“Dean?”
He jumped and turned towards the far side of the room. “Cas? What is it?” He rose to his feet, surprised that he'd not heard the angel enter the room.
“I cannot stay very long, Dean.” Castiel closed his arms around the man, stroking his hair slowly as he felt Dean's face settle against his neck.
“What? How'd you find me? The uh...” Dean had thought the sigils on his ribcage kept him shielded from angels.
“It is something I do not have time to explain at the moment.” Castiel guided the two of them over to sit on the bed and he pulled away, taking Dean's face in both of his hands. “It's good to see you.”
“It is good to see you too, Cas.” He swallowed as the angel lowered his hands from his face to clasp his for a moment and then pulled away slightly. “What's wrong?”
The angel looked down at their hands, frowning ever so slightly. “I have missed you, Dean.”
Dean jerked his hands away, feeling foolish. They couldn't go back to that, they never could - they probably shouldn't have started in the first place.
“Do not think like that, Dean.” Castiel wished they could just go back to holding one another. “I would not change what happened between us.” Cas sighed and his shoulders slumped. It was peaceful to just be here, away from the noise of Heaven. While he could still hear it in his head, it was now muted and didn't seem as irritating since he was no longer in the thick of it. “It is late, you should get some rest.”
“Cas, it's just past seven...”
“I know, but you have had a long day.” Cas smiled faintly and leaned over to kiss his forehead. “I will be back soon. I do not want you to wait up for me to return. You need sleep.”
Leaving was one of the last things Dean wanted Cas to do - but before he could voice it, that nagging voice in the back of his mind - the one that always told him not for you, not now, not you, not you ever - silenced him. “So you'll be here in the morning then?”
The angel smiled. “Yes. When are you going to learn this is the one argument you cannot hope to win with me, Dean?”
“Probably when I'm dead and I can't sleep any longer.” He crumpled up the remains of his dinner and threw it into the trash.
Castiel smiled as he watched Dean get up and head to the bathroom. “When you're dead I intend to make it a point to keep you by my side almost always,” he said under his breath, his eyes following the man. “You have no idea what sort of Heaven is waiting for you.”
As Dean stood in the bathroom, scrubbing at his teeth, he tried to remember the last time he'd had a seriously good rest. At least a year, maybe longer than that. He spat a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. “I suppose you're just going to knock me out to make sure I rest.”
“It might come to that.” Castiel stood up and slowly walked towards the bathroom. “I will try not to wake you when I arrive.”
He rinsed his mouth out and went to change into sleep shirt and sweats. “Cas...”
The angel smiled and came over to embrace him tightly. “I want you to rest. Your sleeplessness causes me to worry.”
Dean held onto the angel for dear life, willing himself not to cry. “Don't worry about...”
“Do not tell me what I get to worry about, Dean. You of all people should know what happens when you try and tell me not to do something.”
He let out a weak chuckle. “Tough little nerd angel.”
Castiel squeezed him tighter. “Stubborn, obstinate, irreverent little human.”
“You like it when I'm irreverent.” Dean's voice was muffled against Castiel's neck.
The angel chuckled softly. “I better let go before I am tempted to stay longer. I will be here when you wake.”
“Have to get to Utah in the morning. There's a monster that's targeting kids.”
Castiel didn't need Dean to explain any further. When it came to hunting, anything that was targeting children ranked number one on his priority list. “Where in Utah?”
“Helper.” Dean pulled away, although it was the last thing he wanted to do. “Cas?”
“Rest.” Castiel kissed Dean on the forehead again, not trusting himself to make contact with his lips. “I have told you that I will be here when you wake and now, the problem in Helper will be gone.” A moment later, the angel tapped Dean on the forehead and when he lowered his hand, Dean was sound asleep under the covers of the bed. He leaned down, brushed his fingers through his hair and whispered against the hunter's ear. “I will be bringing someone with me, Dean. Someone who I've wanted you to meet for months now...”
With that, Castiel pulled away and returned to Heaven.
**
The location in Heaven where the fledglings were born and raised was so well protected, so well hidden that attacking it was unfathomable. Very few parents ever left the nests without their young so the nectar that the children fed on was delivered by cherubs who were still in training. Castiel had left his nest only for the span of five minutes, perhaps ten. During that time, he'd not left Liam alone - rather, after using a few contacts, he returned to his home within his home to find things almost exactly as he had left them with Liam sucking placidly on his bottle in the arms of his grandmother, Mary Winchester.
“You're back.” She didn't look up from the child's face; her own face was practically radiating joy.
“Yes.” Castiel carefully folded the raincoat he had worn while on Earth and climbed back into the warm nest. It only vaguely resembled an actual nest, at least, those that were built by birds. At first glance, might resemble a very large cushioned basin. “Were there any difficulties?”
Mary shook her head in reply. “No. He just seems to want to eat.” She looked up at him, her smile bright - and strangely, it made the angel think of Dean. “Although, it is sort of odd, being a grandmother to an angel.”
Castiel settled himself a few feet away from her. “I want to thank you for not...” He thought for a moment, searching for the right words. “I believe the phrase is 'freaking out' when you were asked to come here.”
Mary chuckled. “It wasn't the sort of request I was expecting when that, uh cherub or what exactly?”
“Cherub is the correct rank for Muriel - although most cherubs aren't as... low key as she is.”
“If materializing out of an ornament on a Christmas tree is low key, I'd hate to think what cherubs are normally like.” She shook her head and looked back down at Liam. “I also think you're wrong about him not looking like Dean, he's got Dean's chin. Same damn stubborn chin all the men in the Winchester family seem to have.” She flinched. “Sorry.”
“It is all right.” Castiel smiled faintly. “You think he resembles Dean?”
“A little.” She finally coaxed Liam into giving up the empty bottle. Despite the fact that he was now able to sit up and hold the bottle on his own, he still preferred to be held while he ate. “Children change. Sam and Dean both looked the same when they were born. Same chin, same patch of fuzz on their heads, same chubby cheeks and then...” She leaned back against the side of the nest, studying the child. “well...”
“I know,” he replied. “I believe many people are unable to tell they are brothers at first glance.”
She chuckled. “After seeing them, I can understand that. John's father and uncles were like that too. Unless their mother was with them or they were arguing, you'd never know they were related just by appearances.” She looked up from the child. “You didn't tell him, did you?”
“No.” Castiel let out a sigh and felt his shoulders fall slightly. “I am - I suppose I did not want to leave for very long.”
“Perhaps it was the desire to stay there that kept you from speaking.” Mary shook her head. “You'll be going back soon then?”
“Yes. I will take Liam with me next time.” Castiel knew that it was potentially one of the greatest risks he could take with his child at this point, but Dean needed to see, needed to know before Liam took it into his head he was tired of just watching and exploring their home. There was talk among the angels that the children like Liam wouldn't be put in a garrison together. Some wouldn't even be put into Michael's Legion at all, like many of their parents. As soon as it was determined who would take control of the angels that should be under Gabriel's command, some of the fledglings would be selected to join that group - possibly all of them. The most shocking revelation that had come from this new breed of not-quite angels was this: being half human, they would be able to take on a human form on Earth, freeing them from the burden of finding a vessel.
Mary set the child down, still smiling. “I do hope that you will let me see him again before he grows up.”
Castiel smiled as Liam rolled over from his back to his stomach and then stretched out his wings, overbalanced and was right back on his back again. “Of course, Mary. I do not believe it would be in my power to keep you from him.”
She nodded, bent down and placed a kiss on Liam's forehead. “You be a good boy, sweetie. Don't give either of your dads too much trouble.”
“Thank you again, Mary.”
The woman smiled and climbed out of the nest, ruffling Castiel's hair affectionately, as if he were a puppy. “You're most welcome, Castiel.” She gave Liam one last glance and slowly walked towards the door of the room, where Muriel was waiting to take her back to her own Heaven.
Castiel turned back to Liam, who was studying his hand as he opened and closed it, like it was the most fascinating thing in the entire universe. “Well, little one, guess it's time to get you ready to leave.”
**
Sam wasn't too perturbed about being left behind in South Dakota while Dean went on a hunt in Utah. The pain in his foot he could deal with, it was the insane flu that he was also suffering from that was the true source of his agony. The good news was, he'd stopped throwing up, but that could have been because he'd gone to a straight diet of water and broth this morning. He glanced at the clock and shook his head. It was just after ten at night and from the lack of sound coming from downstairs, Bobby was either deep in research or deep in sleep. He didn't feel horrible anymore, he just felt worn out.
He leaned over, flicked the lamp on and picked up his phone. One call from Dean and ten calls from Gina. Sam wasn't sure if he should laugh at that or not. Dean had no doubt called to just let him know he'd reached the place he was staying for the night safely, which was probably somewhere in Eastern Colorado or Wyoming. Gina, on the other hand was a completely different story. He was actually glad Dean wasn't there to give him a hard time about the 'possessiveness of that Blue Springs chick' - but Sam usually let such remarks slide. Despite the fact that he was still hunting, he actually felt more content these past five months than he had in a very long time. He double checked the time and quickly scrolled through his contacts before hitting the dial button. It only rang twice before it was answered.
“Sam? Sam is that you?” She sounded half panicked, half relieved.
“Yeah, it's me. What's wrong?” Sam grabbed a Kleenex and rubbed his nose.
“I talked to Dean. He said you broke your foot! Are you okay?”
Sam hacked once. “I'm fine, Gina. Little under the weather. I've been hurt worse than this.”
She let out a deep breath. “I was just worried.” She suddenly sounded embarrassed when she said, “You must think I'm a total spaz.”
“No, no it's okay.” Sam coughed again. “Could have done without catching the flu from someone in the ER, but other than that, just fine.”
“Well, I'm glad you called. Sorry if the reception changes; I'm going upstairs. Apart from sick and injured, how are you?”
“Not bad, yourself?” He took a sip of water from the glass that Bobby had left on the table, grimacing slightly at the warm taste.
“I'm at my sister's house. It was just for dinner and then, well it turned into a holiday baking thing I should have known better when she asked me to pick up some flour and sugar on my way here.” She let out a sigh. “What are you doing for the season?”
“Nothing much. At least nothing I that I know of.” Sam rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Dean had to go out of town for a few days. We'll probably just have dinner at our uncle's house and watch some football.”
“I'd invite you down.” There was a pause followed by a crash. “But family, you know.”
“Yeah. What was that?”
“That would be my brother-in-law getting the tree out of storage. Why he wants to do it at ten at night is beyond me.” Sam could almost see the woman's eyes roll through the phone. “It wouldn't be the first time he's done something like this.”
“I bet.” Sam rubbed at his nose again. “So you called Dean?”
“Actually...” He heard the embarrassment in her voice. “Sally called Dean. I was starting to freak her out.”
“Whatever gave her that idea?” He started to chuckle and that shortly turned into a cough.
“Well, you know, I told you about what happened to Justin.”
“Yeah.” Sam took another drink of water. He'd done some researching of his own and discovered that Justin Rawls had been like him - one of Azazel's special children - and had most likely been killed by Ava Wilson. “Sorry to make you worry like that. I guess I'm so used to it just being a few family members that adding a new person to the mix throws me for a loop.” He was starting to feel a lot better, just talking to her. “Seriously, don't worry too much about me.”
“Can't help it, it's a habit of mine. When I was in grade school my best friend had her tonsils taken out and I was freaked the whole time, even though I knew it was a fairly simple operation.”
“You've got a caring personality, that's all.” Sam took another drink of water. “Not keeping you up, am I?”
“I'm good.” There was a round of cursing and then she laughed. “I think Greg just found where he left that rock collection of his.”
“Sounds crazy.” He closed his eyes, leaned back against the headboard and set a pillow in his lap. “Sorry I didn't call earlier this week.”
“No, don't start with that.” He could hear the smile in her voice. “Holidays make everything go insane.” She sighed. “I hate to ask this, but do you know if you'll be able to come by anytime soon?”
Sam let out a long breath. “I dunno, I might be able to.” He and Dean had stuck to the story of being just in town for a few days back in July - no specific job listed. “Have to see what's going on.”
“It just... it sucks, you know?”
“I agree. It totally sucks.” He closed his eyes, wincing faintly. “I'd sort of like to be there right now, but I'd probably give you this nasty flu bug I caught.”
“Well, your brother didn't catch it.”
“I don't think I'd want to do the things with my brother that I'd like to and have done with you, Gin.” He grinned. “And you just went red, didn't you?”
“Sam!” Gina couldn't keep the embarrassed giggle from her voice.
“Sorry.”
“Don't be sorry, just focus on getting better! Maybe you can come down for New Years or something... I don't care if your brother has to tag along.” There was a pause. “I keep forgetting, where does his boyfriend live? Is it Australia or New Zealand?”
“Christchurch. That's in New Zealand,” Sam replied, glad that Dean had developed some sort of cover story for Cas. The only trouble was that when the angel showed up again, they'd have to explain to him what was going on, if needs be. In retrospect, Sam felt that the lie about Castiel's true home was rather justified. Given the looks Sam had seen some women - and even a few men - give his brother in the past few months, which Dean had completely ignored, the angel really didn't have any real reason to object.
“Must be hard for him, but they still get to talk, right?”
“Yeah.” He took another drink of water. “Time zones tend to be a problem now and then.” He coughed as he set the glass back down. “Excuse me.”
“You don't sound all that bad. Or is that the decongestant talking?”
“I sound a lot better than I feel. It's either take the cold medicine for the flu or take the pain meds for the foot. I'm going for the former at this point.” He adjusted himself in bed, flicking the light off and laying back down. “Listen, I'll see if I can talk Dean into going down to KC for New Years. Hell, he and Sally can probably find something to do. She's been a good friend for him.”
“I think you've got that the other way around. Sally was an absolute wreck about Tim until Dean showed up. Quite frankly, I think Tim rather likes the idea of her having someone who she can empathize with while he's gone. Hell, odds are if you do come down here and the two of them find something to do together, Tim would be glad there was someone to keep the guys off of her.”
“Well, if we do manage to make it, 'fraid dancing will have to be off the menu, I'll still be on crutches.”
“Hey, if all we do is sit and play Scrabble and drink wine, I'll be happy.”
Sam smiled. “Gin, I'll do what I can to convince Dean to come down there, but if we can't...”
“I know, I know. I'm just glad you're in the same country. Still don't know how Sally does it.”
“It's late, you should get some sleep.” Sam covered a yawn. “I should get some more sleep myself. See if I can wear this bug out.”
“You take care of yourself, you hear?” Gina answered with a yawn of her own.
“I'll do what I can.” He closed his eyes, feeling pleasantly warm. “Sorry I didn't call you back sooner.”
“Hey, not your fault. I really should learn not to panic.”
“Don't start on that, you've got good reasons.”
“Yeah. G'nite Sam.”
“'Night Gina.” Sam heard her end the call before hitting the off button on his own cell and setting the phone back down on the side table. After blowing his nose, he readjusted himself, grunting as his foot twitched in pain. As he pulled the covers up to his chin, he heard the unmistakable sound of frozen rain lashing against the windows. “Hope the weather's nicer south of here.” He yawned again and fell asleep.
**
The temperature in the motel room was colder than Castiel had expected - sometime during his departure a few hours ago and now, the snowstorm outside had worsened and the heater was doing its best to keep things reasonably warm. He was glad, however, that he'd gotten Liam to sleep before they left. Quietly, he tucked the child into the bed next to Dean, then retrieved the other two blankets from the closet and added them to the bed-covers. He quickly started putting up more wards to keep out more than just what the salt lines and various other charms would. He'd actually gotten rid of the monster in Utah before returning to Heaven earlier this evening, so there was a little more time bought for the three of them. He double checked everything before undressing and sliding into bed on Liam's other side. Even in sleep, the fledgling turned towards him, seeking out the one person he knew best with his Grace. For his part, it wasn't so much the blankets or the extra body heat that was keeping Castiel warm. It was the knowledge that for the first time in months, the family was all together in one place. He moved over until his head rested just a few feet from Dean's and set his hand on Liam's back, the way they almost always slept. Tomorrow would be a lot of firsts for this family. He just hoped that Dean would be able to handle them all.
“Cas?” Dean coughed, having been awoken by the shifting of weight on the bed. “That you?”
“Yes.” The angel moved his hand from Liam's back to the side of Dean's head, rubbing it softly. “Go back to sleep.”
“Don't wanna sleep.” Dean's eyes flicked open. “I've been sleeping. What time is it?”
“It's just after one.” Castiel smiled. “It's better if you sleep.”
“Dude, it was before eight when I went to bed...” Dean rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes. “That's - I don't need that much sleep.”
This wasn't exactly how Castiel had planned all of this. Truthfully, he hadn't planned this out all that clearly in the first place. At least Dean was keeping his voice down. “Humor me.”
Dean chuckled in response. “Fine, fine. I'll stay in bed, but I can't promise to fall asleep.”
It was right then Dean felt a soft kick against his ribs. “What?” He turned back towards Castiel and saw the other figure in the bed. It was too small to be anything but an infant or a very small child. This was... awkward. “Uh, Cas...” Dean swallowed. “Who's your friend?”
The angel let out a low breath and sat up a little. “This is Liam.”
“Liam?” Dean frowned. “I don't suppose you're gonna tell me that...”
“It's complicated, Dean.” Castiel rubbed the infant's back. “I... I was surprised.”
“Surprised?” Dean sat up, almost immediately wanting to sink back into the blankets at the sharp contrast of the cool room against his skin. “You mean...” His mind started working faster than he thought it could without the influence of coffee at this time of the morning. He lay back down rubbing his eyes. “So... wait, wait... how is this even possible?”
Castiel sighed and pulled the blankets back over the three of them. “It... it just happened, Dean. It was not something that could be prevented.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Dean kept his voice quiet, even though he felt like screaming.
“Angels can be conceived in the same way humans are and that is usually how it arises. But sometimes, angels can come into being in other ways. I... this is why I couldn't come and see you sooner than now. It wasn't safe.”
Dean was still trying to process everything. A kid. Cas and I have a kid. This has got to be a dream of some kind - “So Liam...he's what, half human, half angel?”
“Yes.” Castiel sighed. “Although, before you ask, he differs from the Nephilim.”
“How?” Dean couldn't help the way his voice raised slightly.
“The Nephilim were born to human mothers. They came about in the human way. There are other children like Liam. Although not all of their angelic and human parents had carnal relationships.”
“Dude...” Dean covered his eyes with his hand. “Sorry, just hearing that word out of an angel's mouth....”
“I believe you've heard more... I believe your term was 'dirty'... words out of my mouth than carnal. Most of which I will not repeat now because of the presence of a child.” He was certain Dean's ears had turned red. “And now you are stunned that I said that with a straight face.”
“Crap, you can read minds again, can't you?” Dean lowered his hand and turned over to face the angel. “So - I mean - I'm not sure how to handle something like this, Cas. I mean, the closest I've come to this situation before was when I met Ben.”
“The Braeden boy.” Castiel let out a soft breath. “I know of whom you speak. I also know that you still think about his mother from time to time.”
Dean turned his face into his pillow. “Cas, I'm -”
“Do not apologize, Dean. I know of your desire to have a home and a family and you have already realized that won't be entirely possible with me.” Castiel felt his heart lurch at the words. “I am sorry.”
“Don't. Just don't Cas.” He turned back towards the two of them, taking a deep breath. “This isn't the sort of time for us to be all melodramatic and chick-flicky.” He reached out and touched the angel's face with his fingertips. “We have time right now. Let's just enjoy it and save our... lover's quarrels or whatever you want to call this for when I'm dreaming and you're in Heaven.”
Castiel bit off the desire to issue a retort and instead moved a little closer to Dean, so the two of them were almost head to head, with Liam still dozing between them. “Very well.”
Dean tentatively put his hand over Cas' on the boy's back, trying not to think about how very real and yet unbelievable all of this was right now. “Liam huh? Where'd that name come from?”
Castiel slid his hand out from under Dean's and then set it against Dean's face, rubbing his cheekbone with his thumb. “I named him after his father.” He smiled. “The strong-willed warrior.”
*
Dean woke up the next morning to the sensation of someone poking at his face. He absently brushed his hand in front of his face, half asleep. “Stop it Sam, I'm up.” There was a small noise that sounded almost like a chirp and he slowly opened his eyes. A pair of bright green eyes, exactly like his own, were staring back at him, blinking in confusion. “Oh, hello.” He was pretty much at a loss as what to do otherwise. “You're up.” He looked behind him at the table next to the bed. “It's really that late?”
“Yes,” Castiel spoke from his spot in front of the window. “Although most people would not consider seven late.”
Dean sat up in bed and Liam promptly crawled into his lap, still gazing up at him. “He always this affectionate?”
“He is curious.” The angel turned, walked over to the bed and sat down. “Until now, he has only seen human souls. He has never seen one in an earthly body until now.” He smiled. “Although I have told him about you, I am unsure of how much he comprehended.”
“He's a... how old is he exactly?” Dean adjusted the boy on his lap, frowning. “If I went by size alone I'd say... I dunno... seven, eight months?”
“Chronologically, he is five months old. His mental age is about what you guessed although he has not exhibited much desire to move under his own power too often. He would rather sit and observe for the time being.” Castiel smiled and brushed the boy's unruly dark hair down. “Which has been fine with me. I have... it has been a long time, Dean.”
“Yeah...” He sighed as Liam climbed out of his lap and crawled across the bed to climb into Castiel's. “He's beautiful, Cas.” True, it sounded corny the moment he said it, but what else was there to say? “What's the weather like out there?”
“It's still snowing. Even if I was not here with you, I do not believe you would be able to leave this town and head for Utah.” He looked down, sighing. “In truth Dean, I did not have any idea of what would happen when you finally met Liam, nor did I have any plans further than last night's rest.”
Dean coughed and stood up to make some coffee. “Well, it's not like I had any plans other than ganking that monster and getting back to Sioux Falls before Christmas, so there you have it... no plans made pretty much clears our schedules.” He frowned. “Or do you have to go back in just a few hours?”
Castiel smiled. “I can spare a few days. It is not so much the lack of time but the amount of danger involved with having an angel as young as Liam is on Earth.”
“He's not in a vessel, is he?” Dean turned from the coffee pot. “He's...”
“This is his current form, although I have managed to hide his wings in case we are seen. But he will never require a vessel, given his parentage, even when he achieves his true form.”
“True form?” He poured himself a cup of coffee and came back over to the bed, where Liam had crawled from his father's lap and was now peering down at the floor below, looking as if he was contemplating the distance and the best method to get down. “What do you mean by true form? Is that how Raphael was able to knock out the power to the Eastern Seaboard? He was moving in true form? And is that how all those trees in Pontiac got uprooted?”
“Yes.” Castiel lowered Liam to the floor before he could take a nosedive and the child made his way across the room, heading for the table. “But, most likely, that will not come about for many years.”
“Your idea of time or mine?” Dean sat down next to him, taking a drink of coffee.
“Yours.” Castiel tilted his head to the side, frowning. “I would suspect his true form will be close to the same size as mine when he achieves it.”
“Just how big is that, anyway?” He took another sip of coffee.
“Roughly the size of the Chrysler Building.”
Dean hacked on the mouthful of coffee and spluttered. “Are you kidding?”
Castiel tilted his head to the side. “Why would I make something like that up?”
He set the cup down and coughed once or twice, trying to regain his breath. “It's just that's pretty crazy, Cas. Thinkin' of you being that tall.” Dean was marking this day as the strangest he'd had in close to forever. “Wait... wait... forget that for a moment...” His mind had just registered something else. “...You're telling me the kid has wings?”
“Of course he has wings.” Castiel frowned. “Angels are born with them. They are as much of an appendage to us as arms and legs are to you.” He sighed as Liam made his way back over to them and pulled himself to a stand using the bedspread. “I realize this must be daunting for you.”
“That's an understatement.” Dean picked his cup back up and took a gulp of coffee. The truth of the matter was, it wasn't so daunting and hard to believe. However, this was just another way to remind him of the very vast difference between him and Cas. That he was just a human - and a pretty insignificant one at that.
“Can you really think that about yourself, Dean?” Castiel put one hand on his shoulder. This is the way it always was with Dean. The feeling that somehow he didn't deserve the blessings he received , it was one of the things he dearly wished he could get the man to accept, that he was worthy of the fortune and gifts that he was given. “I do not think of you as such.”
“Cas...” Dean wanted to argue the point that really, he wasn't much in this family of three, but still...
“You forget, Dean Winchester, I have seen you out of your mortal coil - I saw what you were before I put you back together and that was nothing insignificant. Even among the light from the angels, your soul was a shining beacon in that unspeakably filthy pit in Hell.”
He was about to issue another retort when Castiel pressed his lips against his. The culmination of nearly eight months apart, meeting only briefly in dreams that Dean still wasn't sure were shared or just in his own head, the desire, the longing, the just plain togetherness that he had missed was there, in that single kiss. He slid a hand behind Cas' head and returned and deepened the kiss, the tip of his tongue grazing along the angel's teeth. The last time he had kissed Castiel, the angel had tasted faintly of peppermint and booze. Now, now he tasted of something akin to honey, something he couldn't entirely place, but yet it was familiar. It's been too damn long. That was about the only completely coherent thought Dean could manage as he slid both hands onto the sides of the angel's face, not wanting to break the touch for anything.
Castiel didn't want to end the kiss either, wanted to just stay there, in that moment - for as long as possible. Reluctantly, almost hesitantly, he pulled back and placed another kiss on Dean's forehead. “Don't ever think you don't deserve to be happy, Dean.”
“I -” His next word was cut off by a yowl of pain and the two of them looked down to see Liam, one hand grasping Castiel's slacks and having managed to grab a hold of some of Dean's skin through his pajama pants. Dean took one look at the child's face and snickered. “Oh no.”
“What is it?” Castiel couldn't imagine what could be wrong.
“That's the exact same look Sam used to get when he was up to no good. And don't go telling me Liam can't cause any trouble. Just because he's a little angel doesn't mean he can't get up to mischief.” He leaned down and pulled the boy into his lap as Castiel's smile suddenly became a little more pronounced and he made a small noise that sounded like an amused huff. “One of these days we're going to get you to laugh, Cas. Might take a long time, but I'm looking forward to making you chuckle someday.”
“You are not funny, Dean.” Castiel made an attempt at looking offended, but then took a second look at the pair - both of them giving him the exact same expectant look, eyebrows raised, green eyes wide. “And I do believe I am outnumbered....”
*
The next few days were probably among the best of Dean's life. Being snowed-in at the motel didn't prove to be too big of a problem, particularly since Cas had no issue in going off to get food. The manager of the place had called all of the rooms, checking on the people who were currently stuck there and the only thing Dean had gotten from the intrepid workers of the place were clean towels and soap. The staff never knew that two more people were staying in the room with him. He'd also gotten hold of Sam and told him what was going on and then told him that unless it was an emergency, he wasn't going to be answering his phone. Sam had pleaded TMI and hung up. Dean didn't know what his brother's problem was. He had caught him and Gina having phone sex once before Sam had the foresight to start getting separate rooms from time to time. He did not tell Sam about Liam however. He wanted to do that in person. Cas had been slightly bemused at the story the Winchesters had fabricated about him, but nonetheless agreed with it.
“Is he still sleeping?” Castiel came in from the bathroom, rubbing at his damp hair with a towel.
“Yeah,” Dean said from his spot on the bed, where Liam was lying down with Dean's leather jacket over him as a blanket. “Does he usually sleep this much?”
“Occasionally.” He leaned down and kissed the top of Dean's head. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Back's a little sore, but a good sore.” He smirked at the angel. “So don't start with your apologies.”
Castiel shook his head and set the towel down by the sink. “I wouldn't dream of it.” He gave Dean a look. “You seemed to enjoy it.”
Dean felt his ears turn slightly pink and he looked back down at Liam. “Well, you got me there.” He sighed. “You have to leave tomorrow, don't you?”
“Yes.” The angel came back to the bed and sat down. “I don't know when it will be possible for me to come back. Again, the trouble isn't me, it's...”
“Cas, we've been through this. I don't want the two of you taking risks you shouldn't for my sake. I'll be fine. Hell, you've got your Grace back, so it's not like we can't talk.”
Castiel slid an arm around Dean's shoulders and hugged him. “I know, but even you do not feel it's the same.”
“It's better than nothing.” He returned the hug. “Still wish there was something I could do for the two of you, I mean...”
“It is not necessary. The things that are needed to rear a fledgling in Heaven are already being provided.”
“I still feel like I should do something.” Dean rubbed the back of his head. “Guess you can chalk it up to my human nature or what-have-you.”
“Keep yourself safe. That is what you can do for the two of us,” Castiel said, his tone turning serious.
“Can't promise that, but I'll try.”
The angel gave him another hug and kissed his cheek. “That's all I ask.”
**
Sam shifted in the backseat of the Impala, adjusting his foot on the pillow across from him. “Dean, I really appreciate this.”
“No problem. Though what you and Gina are going to be doing, I have -” Dean paused. “Wait, I don't think I want to know what you guys are gonna be doing.”
Sam chuckled and made a face at his brother.. “I know you made plans with Sally.”
“Sally's a friend, Sam. You know that. Besides, I told Cas about her. Not to mention the little factor that she's ten years my junior. I was killing werewolves when she was learning to read.” Dean shook his head. “Anyway, she found some theater that's got a special event. They're showing the classic Star Wars trilogy, not all that newfangled stuff they added when we were teens Sam. I'm talking classic, Han shoots first, the old guy's playing Anakin at the end of Jedi, all they did was clean up the print Star Wars.”
“Yeah, and you're not a geek.” Sam snorted.
“Well, she doesn't drink and watching Ryan Seacrest in Times Square isn't exactly our cup of tea. Not to mention she's actually amazed she got the night off...” Dean sighed. “Didn't you say you were going to a movie too?”
“Yeah.” He looked slightly abashed. “Gina's been looking for someone to go see Dawn Treader with and - ” He glared at Dean who'd started to chuckle. “Go ahead, keep laughing.” He snorted. “You're the one going to see Star Wars.”
“And eat dinner while I'm at it.” Dean sighed. “Sorry I didn't get back in time for Christmas. That was horrible.” He shook his head. “Two hours from Sioux Falls and they close the highway.”
“Well, I'd rather you be safe in a motel in Mitchel than freezing to death on I-90.” Sam sighed. “So here we are, heading down to KC two days before New Year's, just because you're worried it will snow again.”
“I seem to recall a certain someone's eyes lighting up followed by the phrase 'I need to get cleaned up' when I agreed to make the journey.” Dean smirked. “Yeah, I'm happy for you Sammy. Gina's a great girl.”
Sam smiled and looked back out the window. “So, we gonna work a case next week?”
“Depends on how well your foot's healed up. Maybe we can find a few easy ones. Nothing more than salt-and-burns until your foot's no longer out of commission.”
“Yeah... sounds good,” he said quietly.
Dean glanced in the rear-view mirror at his brother, thinking. The time between finding hunts was starting to grow longer. It used to be a few days, sometimes a week and if they were really lucky, two weeks. Either the monsters were running to ground following the failed Apocalypse, or the angels had gone on a monster killing spree before going home. Whatever it was he didn't want to admit it, didn't want to say it, but he had to. “Sam - I know that look.”
“What look?” Sam didn't turn from the window.
“That's the look you used to get when you'd think about not hunting.” Dean sighed as he eased the Impala past a semi. “Look...”
“Dean, I...” Sam took a deep breath before speaking again. “...I don't know if- I mean -”
“One of us should get what they want in life, Sam. Adam might have gotten it if there hadn't been those two ghouls. So if it's down to you or me, I'd rather you have it. You've wanted it forever.”
“And you haven't?” Sam voice was incredulous. “I don't -”
“We don't have to make any decisions, Sam. But I know you. 'Sides, I've seen your face when you talk about Gina. You get the same look you had when you used to talk about Jess.”
The younger Winchester let out a long breath. “I do, huh?”
“Yeah.” Dean sighed. “Like I said, it's something we can talk about after this weekend. See how things are after that.”
Sam shrugged. “I just... Fine.” He leaned back against the door. “So, when you going to see Cas again? You pick a time?”
“Don't know... it's not exactly easy for him to slip down here anymore.” Dean sighed. “I try not to think about it, actually.” He reached into his pocket and dug out his phone. “Wanna show you something.” He held it out to Sam. “Scroll through the pictures on that. The ones I want you to see are near the end.”
Sam took the phone, smirking. He figured his brother had snapped some shots of him and Gina back in September and wanted to show him what look he was talking about.“You know...” He started scrawling through thumbnails, most of them weird shots of plates of food, a few badly aimed shots of the Impala - and then he stopped.
The seventh photograph from the end was of a sleeping infant, a fuzz of dark hair wearing an off-white set of pajamas, or a onesie - it was hard to tell with Dean's leather jacket covering his lower half. Along the end of the sleeve were three stripes - red, green and purple - and the child looked to be about seven months old. “Who- ” The next photo was the same kid, different outfit, only this time he was awake and Castiel was holding him. “Is- ” The next photo was the kid alone, sitting on the floor, looking up. “Dean, who's the kid?” He flipped through the rest of the photos - all of them the same kid. The last one was both Dean and the kid, asleep, the boy resting against his brother, both of them the perfect picture of contentment. “Dean?”
“That's Liam.” There was an odd tone in Dean's voice, one Sam couldn't quite place. This was something new; he'd not heard this from his brother before.
“Uh, Dean... you and Cas... I mean...” Sam was rapidly putting two and two together. “Holy shit, Dean.”
“That's about what I was thinking when I found out myself, Sammy.” Sam could place the tone then. It was pride.
“Wow - ” Sam swallowed. “This - is this why Cas won't be back?”
“Something like that, yeah, Sammy.” Dean sighed and held his hand out for his phone and Sam put it back. “Things just got a little more complicated, that's all.”
“Complicated has always been the norm with you two.” Sam folded his arms and returned his gaze to the window. “So I mean, what are the two of you going to do?”
“It's rather dangerous for Cas to bring Liam to Earth.” He shrugged. “So we'll just do the best we can.” He shook his head. “Oh, another thing. Already told Bobby this - apparently before all the angels got called back to Heaven, there was a major demon smack-down. Cleaned out half of the upper echelons of Hell. They haven't found Meg yet, but they got Crowley.”
“Shit.” Sam turned from the window. “Guess that explains why things have been kind of quiet.”
“I don't think it will last, but hey, few less things to worry about.” Dean snorted. “Lousy bastard Crowley. Thank god Cas found that coin the scumbag put in the Impala. Who knows what the fucker could have found out from that.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” Sam remembered when the angel had found the tracking coin tucked carefully under the Impala's rear bumper. They'd burned the thing shortly thereafter. “So I guess I'm an uncle then.”
“Something like that.” Dean smiled. “You want to stop at that diner in Sioux City for lunch?”
Sam thought for a moment. “You mean the one that serves like, the platter of onion rings that's enough for three people?”
“Yup.” Dean grinned. “Come on, Sammy, it's not like you can't brush your teeth before we get to Blue Springs.”
In response, Sam laughed.
Chapter Three