noughties spam part 5: tv episodes
I'll tell you what - do yourself a favour and marathon these episodes because it'll be the best week of you life
30 Rock - 3x02 - Believe In The Stars
"do you know who I am? Seriously, who am I?"
"Liz, can you please tell Kenneth that Liz wants him?"
"there are only two things I love in this world: everybody and television"
30 Rock - 3x08 - Flu Shot
"look I brought some dinner and monopoly - we can have a fun, low-key night... unless I lose"
"maybe the two of you could go and get the soup?" "I don't understand" "well I'm saying you could get your wallet--" "my what?" "--and go downstairs to the basement--" "no!" "--and then you go the soup place and bring the soup back up here--" "with what, my arms?" "make sure to take your IDs with you" "that would be the worst part!"
"without the crew we'd just be two amazing people succeeding in a vacuum"
"we got you a meat platter" "thanks guys, I am really... going to eat this!"
"I'm so happy the number four the letter U"
"yeah, I get it, you went shopping, I don't need the montage"
"Tracy, I've got it!" "give it to me, it's mine!"
Alias - 1x01 - Truth Be Told
"first of all Danny, the truth is this is just a curtosey call. Like when you say to your neighbour 'we're having a loud party on Saturday night if that's alright with you' what you really mean is 'we're having a loud party on Saturday night'. I will not be used as part of a charming little anecdote you tell your friends at cocktail parties so they can see what a quaint old-fashioned guy Danny really is. Are we clear?" "yes sir" "good. Then welcome to the family"
"hey, this is Sydney, leave me a message... thankyou."
"I just wanna say... start with the teeth in the back if you don't mind"
America's Next Top Model - 4x08 - The Girl Who Gets Bad News
"It's actually a lot more difficult than you think it is so I'm glad I had that experience actually"
"there there anything that's going on with other celebrities and other rappers and singers, you know, like yourself, that, you know, you think they would want to accomplish as well? Is this something that... is this something that... people can go out and say they wanna do this and they wanna do that?"
"well I hope none of you are afraid of tight and confined creepy spaces"
America's Next Top Model - 11x01-02 - The Notorious Fierce Fourteen
"You need this sexy towl it will wash all of the water off your body! Get this towel and you would have a... wet-free body!"
"each cycle I go to at least two or three auditions. When I want something I will pray and pray and I will get off my butt and go and get it done"
Angel - 1x18 - Five By Five
"they gave you a soul... a filthy soul, NO!"
"you feel young, do you Faith? You're looking pretty worn out to me."
"come on Angel, I thought you were bad!"
Angel - 3x13 - Waiting in the Wings
"I saw their production of Gisele in 1890 and cried like a baby... and I was evil!"
"Say, do you like bribes?"
"I don't dance, I echo"
Angel - 5x15 - A Hole In The World
"I am not your friend. I am not your flunky. I am your conduit to the senior partners and they are tired of your insolence, oh yeah, they are not here for your convenience"
"I am not the damsel in distress, I am not some case. I lived in a cave for five years in a world where they killed my kind like cattle, I am not going to be cut down by some monster flu, I am better than that!"
"I'm not scared, I'm not scared. Please. Wesley. Why can't I stay?"
"This will do"
Battlestar Galactica - 1x12-13 - Kobol's Last Gleaming
"Life has a melody, Gaius. A rhythm of notes that becomes your existance once played in harmony with God's plan. It's time to do your part and realise your destiny" "which is what exactly?" "you're the guardian and protector of the new generation of God's children. The first member of out family will be with us soon Gaius. It's time to make your choice" "but I don't understand what you're talking about. Reall, I don't understand" "Gaius - see the face of shape of things to come"
Buffy - 4x22 - Restless
"In just a few moments that curtain is going to open on our very first production. Now everyone that Willow's ever met is out in that audience - including all of us"
"come on, put your back into it! A watcher scoffs at gravity!"
"I think I've figured out a way of steering by gesturing emphatically"
"It's not like anything we've faced before. It seems familiar somehow. Of course. The spell we casted with Buffy must have released some primal evil that's come back seeking - I'm not sure what. Willow, look through the chronicles for some reference to some warrior beast. I've got warn Buffy there's every chance she might be next. And Xander help Willow and try not bleed on my couch I just had it steam cleaned"
"I walk. I talk. I shop. I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods fall back. There are trees in the desert and I don't sleep on a bed of bones"
"be back before Dawn"
Buffy - 5x22 - The Gift
"Blood is life. It's what what keeps you going. Makes you warm, makes you hard, makes you other than dead"
"Sooner or later Glory will re-emerge and make Buffy pay for that mercy and the world with her. Buffy even knows that and still she couldn't take a human life. She's a hero you see. She's not like us."
"the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."
Buffy - 6x07 - Once More, With Feeling
"so Dawn's in trouble - must be Tuesday"
"crawl out of your grave, you find this fight just doesn't mean a thing"
"I lived my life in shadow, never the light on my face. It didn't seem so sad though, I figured that was my place. Now I'm bathed in light, something just isn't right. I'm under your spell, how else could it be anyone notice me?"
"I touch the fire and it freezes me. I look into it and it's black. Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peel. I want the fire back"
"All the twists and bends. Knowing that it ends. Well that depends on if they let you go. On if they know enough to know that when u bow, you leave the crowd... There was no pain. No fear, no doubt, till they pulled me out of heaven. So that’s my refrain, I live in hell 'cause I’ve been expelled from heaven. I think I was in heaven... So give me something to sing about! Please, give me something!"
Community - 1x03 - Introduction to Film
"why are you dressed like an eighties rapist?"
"is that a new camera?" "yeah, it's more expensive but it lets me adjust really specific settings that most people don't notice or think about"
Coupling - 2x03 - Her Best Friend's Bottom
"lets all talk about me! - me, me, me, me, ME!"
"look at these chubby little bastards sitting around, what are they? pets for chairs?"
"I've never had a failure before"
Dexter - Hungry Man
"whatever you did with Rebecca... whatever you're going to do... I don't care, just please I'm begging you don't tell him."
"no one said they were thankful for me. Did you Jonah? Did you say you were thankful for me Jonah?"
"I'm thankful for Dexter!"
"Hi dad"
Doctor Who - 1x13 - Parting Of The Ways
"The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. That you don't just give up, you don't just let things happen, you make a stand, you say no, you have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away"
Doctor Who - 2x13 - Doomsday
"IDENTIFY YOURSELF" "You will identify first" "STATE YOUR IDENTITY" "You will identify first" "IDENTIFY!!!"
"I love you" "quite right too. And I suppose if it's my last chance to say it: Rose Tyler--"
Dollhouse - 2x06 - The Left Hand
"what else would you call it?"
"I'm concerned you may have just tried to tase me"
"we can be who we decide to be"
Firefly - 1x13 - Objects In Space
"have you ever been raped?"
"he's really very gentle and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends"
Futurama - 3x16 - Time Keeps On Slipping
"I may be an old man - in fact, I'm fairly sure I am"
"we appear to be lurching forward randomly in time like a needle skipping on a record player" "what's causing it? is it my outfit?"
"off you go! Apparently."
"just a few... more... hundred... thousand... miles!"
"you're smart, you're beautiful and best of all you'll go out with me... ee?" "Fry, please understand. You're a man, I'm a woman. We're just too different!"
Futurama - 4x02 - Leela's Homeworld
"you all know the orphanarium where leela grew up?" "sure, we talk about it all the time!" "really" "no. BURN!"
"It's a glow-in-the-dark nose you can wear over your regular non-glowing nose"
"wait a second, why aren't you going to kill us anymore?" "yeah, what are you, chicken?" "shut up you two, we can kill ourselves when we get home!"
"she'll never know we're her parents" "that's our gift to her"
Flight Of The Conchords - 1x09 - What Goes on Tour
"let me tell you a little secret Bret, you'll like this. Sometimes late night when I'm driving alone I imagine this is a bus." "yeah?" "Yeah. is that a bit silly is it Bret?" "No, that's cool"
"I'm so livid with you turkeys! you're like couple of cool-looking idiots!"
"that reminds me, keep an eye on Jermaine okay? You're on tour now, it brings out the crazier side of someone like him." "alright well he's having a sleep" "oh is he? Probably not his bed though, eh?" "yes, his bed" "he'd be lying on top of it though, he won't be in it, he'd be on top" "no he's tucked in, it's boring" "is he? probably, yeah... having a rest, getting ready for tonight" "he was watching tv, he wanted to see what the weather was going to be like" "oh wow, probably looking for some thunder storms to rock out in"
"he's got a great sense of humor-- don't joke please"
"I understand what happened, I put the handbread on" "oh in American cars the handbreak's on this side" "I must've just adjusted the seat"
Flight of the Conchords - 2x03 - The Tough Brets
"who were those guys you were dissing? The only one I could make out was Snoopy, what've you got against him?"
"Murray, oh I think you dropped the New Zealand mineral exports for '08/'09"
"Who are these guys?" "Idiots. Official idiots."
"have you ever been made of fun cos of where you were from, have you ever been dissed over the intercom, have you ever found a gift you've given thrown away, have you ever been told you're the wrong shape, have you ever been told you're miss new zealand"
Gilmore Girls - 2x04 - The Road Trip To Harvard
"hmm... they're taller" "not this again" "there's more of them" "mum, the flowers on the wallpaper are not growing or reproducing"
"I sat and forever am at work here"
"wo should probably eat something healthy since we've been eating junk the whole trip" "we had lettuce on our burgers last night" "we picked it off" "but it left its essense!" "there was lettuce essence on our burgers?" "definitely" "and that satisfied our vegetable requirement?" "for the week"
"focus the picture Lorelai" "it is focused, that's how it came out" "it's hurting my eyes!"
"can I ask you stupid questions?" "there is no such thing" "how does ink come out of pens!"
Gilmore Girls - 3x06 - Take The Deviled Eggs
"Lorelai Gilmore, Rory Gilmore, Lorelai Rory Gilmore, Lorelai V Gilmore, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmo, Lorelai Gil and Squeegie Beckenheim"
"I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head" "There we have it, our new town slogan!"
"hey, what do you know about this town loner guy?" "same as everyone, he just skulks around with that backpack - never smiles" "does he also make cheeseburgers and secretly harbour a desire to wear a backwards baseball cap? They're cousins, identical cousins!"
"so where'd you get the money for the car?" "mugged an old lady"
"morgage payment - you mind picking it up this month sweetybabycookiehoney?"
"you're always here Luke - in my heart!"
"sometimes when it's dark and I'm driving like this, I feel the urge to TURN THE WHEEL into oncoming traffic"
"hi, this is Sherry Tinsdale. Looks like there's a tieup on the boulevard, they appear to be moving every building in harvard university so it's now just 1.3 miles from my house. Nice job guys!"
"alright well all we have to do is think of everything that someone could protest that starts with an r" "ragoo!" "ragoo yes, he could be protesting ragoo"
Gilmore Girls - 3x07 - They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They--
"I think I've figured out can be my dance partner for the marathon" "great! who? ... BYE!"
"I can't even open my eyes" "that's okay, there's nothing to see. Kirk's in speedos, Taylor's in a skirt, Al's in assless chaps" "oh my god, stop, I'm never going to be able to close my eyes again"
"do you have a pamphlet?" "yes, I do" "take one to your mother..."
"hey are you talking about me?" "no" "I heard you mention Shane" "Shane isn't you" "Shane concerns me" "Shane concerns me too and all women for that matter"
Gilmore Girls - 3x17 - A Tale Of Poes And Fire
"oh Kirk... you're not selling your laundry again, are ya?"
"welcome and let me assure you there are no human body parts buried in the floor your room to keep you awake tonight. Sound good?" "I guess..."
"you own a restaurant, where's the pen you take orders with?" "I wasn't anticipating taking orders at the Poe reading..."
"what are you doing down there?" "enjoying some air, getting some excercise and freezing!" "well, go home." "home, I have no home! Hunted! Despised!" "What?" "It's from Ed Wood, the movie" "have you gone bonkers?"
Glee - 1x02 - Showmance
"I don't menstrate" "oh yeah? Well neither do I"
"I know you're used to being the cock of the walk around here" "offensive"
"this is where our daughter or gay son will sleep"
"baby, I've got some bad news" "a wealthy relative died?"
Glee - 1x07 - Throwdown
"like that time when I told my house to a nice young couple and I salted the earth in the back yard so that nothing living could grow there in a hundred years"
"I'm about to vomit down your back"
"will you give me my test back!" "I just don't understand anything..."
Grey's Anatomy - 2x16 and 2x17 - It's The End Of The World, As We Know It
"you're the strongest most masculine man I've ever known" "you're smarter than me and you've got really great hair!"
"I can't even remember the last time we kissed. You never the the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't"
"Doctor Milton?" "...I've got kids"
"you know when you don't need to be made fun of? Like when you've got your hand inside a body that's got a bomb in it and a stranger is velcroing a flackjacket to your boob"
House - 4x15 - House's Head
"I'm not a lesbian" "I was rounding up from 50%"
"Amber's in your head?" "you put her in my head, I can't even have a conversation with you in my subconcious without her tagging along" "well she better have her clothes on" "unfortunately ... I didn't mean to say that out loud" "say what out loud?" "I didn't say that out loud? Nothing" "what's going on in there?"
"dance woman!" "you'd rather be diagnosing" "I screamed no" "and your own subconcious ignored you because you'd rather fantasise about finding symptoms. how screwed up is that."
How I Met Your Mother - 2x09 - Slap Bet
"our friend Robin used to do porn -wait for it- ography!"
"you know what the best part about your honesty is? how truthful it is"
"the 80's didn't come to Canada 'till like '93..."
"so just to be clear, you wanted everybody to go to the mall... today?"
"did you have to laugh like that every time?" "... yes."
Legend of the Seeker - 1x08 - Denna
"not even death will end your torture"
"I want you to think of me"
"you taught me how to withstand pain"
Legend of the Seeker - 2x04 - Touched
Lost - 1x24-25 - Exodus
"You are not free. you never have been and you never will be"
"No one's punishing us. There's no such thing as fate."
"Come on, really, what do you think's inside?" "Hope. I think hope's inside"
"only the thing is... we're gonna have to take the boy"
Parks and Recreation - 2x04 - The Practice Date
"all I can say is, I wasn't just having sex - I was making love. To a beautiful woman... and her boyfriend... and a third person whose name I never learned. Furthermore it was wrong of me to say I was building houses for the underprivelidged when I was actually having four-way sex in a cave in Brazil" "I bet cave sex is insane" "why?" "because of the echos - and the humidity"
"and he looked up at me and he said 'thankyou, you've saved my life'" "yeah... hey, I'm really nervous about this date tomorrow night, do you have a first date outfit I could borrow? Like... I don't know, a pair of cargo pants?" "yeah, I wouldn't go with the cargo pants..." "what about like a sexy hat?" "I don't know what that even is"
"Ron has two ex-wives each... named... Tammy" "both of them bitches"
"those are all insane hypotheticals and I promise you they won't happen!" "they have happened. All of these have happened to me"
"I can't think of anything to ask you, I'm sorry my mind is black" "just ask me the first thing that comes into your head" "how big is it?"
Prison Break - 4x12 - Selfless
"actually, there's only one missing piece to the puzzle... and you just brought it to me."
"now what am I gonna do?" "you're gonna run for your life... you idiot!"
Scrubs - 8x01 - My Jerks
"now seal the deal with a follow-up question, but nothing too personal!" "did you deliver vaginally?"
"I want you to run renal functions on Mr. Hicks, can you do that or do you have more questions about my vagina?" "LIE!" "no"
"Dr. Maddox, I think you're a very well-built... sturdy... woman" "like a shed" "not like a shed. Like a naughty..." "like it" "...structure" "structure?"
"oh my god, he's treating you like an equal, QUICK do something equals do!"
Scrubs - 8x04 - My Happy Place
"JD, be sensetive, don't act like you're at a pingpong match between a ninja and bigfoot ... I know that made no sense but he's totally there now in his head"
"now it's time to split before he shares something so personal we're trapped here forever" "well we'd better split" "the last thing I expected was to be an old man with no idea what the hell to do with his life"
"doctor Kelso and I had heard enough of Elliots inspirational stories to know that they invariably end with somebody killing themselves" "but then she moved" "huh maybe not!" "to a better place"
"did you know Elliot's granny panties are actually her granny's panties?"
"do you still let that inner voice of yours control you?" "this is getting too serious! Kick her! Kick her in the head!"
Saturday Night Live - 34x04 - Anne Hathaway
"as my mother would say, god love him but he's a raging manic... and a dear dear friend"
"he wants to know everything about me. He asked about my family, my friends and just yesterday he asked what my social security number was. How sweet is that! Now I know what you're all thinking, 'why is Anne Hathaway so... lucky'"
"you see, I can't have children ... without getting really bad stretch marks"
"supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is a disease of the liver. It's very rare and extremely painful" "goodness, how did you ever learn a word like that Mary Poppins" "I have it! I have the disease" "is it as fun to have as it is to say, Mary Poppins?" "well... no"
Supernatural - 4x16 - On the Head of a Pin
"Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison, ask anyone"
"John Winchester made quite a name for himself. A hundred years. After each session I’d make him the same offer I made you: I’d put down my blade if he picked one up... but he said nein each and every time ... I couldn’t break him. Pulled out all the stops. But John, he was made of something unique, the stuff of heroes. And then came Dean. Dean Winchester. I thought I was up against it again. But, daddy’s little girl, he broke. He broke in thirty. Ah, just not the man your daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean?"
"he's doing God's work" "torturing? That's God's work?"
"there's something caught in my throat ... I think it's my throat"
"God isn't God anymore"
Standoff - 1x18 - Severance
"so that whole fight was just--" "to keep him off balance so we could tactical going through the breach"
"freeze Miss" "are you kidding me? I called you!" "put your hands over your head" "what the hell do I look like to you?"
"you know this woman? she's really his mother?"
"she don't take me serious?" "no no no, we all take you serious ... ly"
"we've been going about this all wrong, we've been trying to split them up easy, we should be trying to get them back together"
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - 1x07 - The Demon Hand
"gone is gone. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When I go, bury me in the earth. Part of me died years ago with Kyle Reese but a part of him lives on in John. If that's not a soul, I don't know what is."
"science now performs miracles like the gods of old, creating life from blood cells or bacteria or a spark or metal but they are perfect creatures and in that way they couldn't be less human. There are things machines will never do. They cannot possess faith, they cannot commune with God. They cannot appreciate beauty, they cannot create art. If they ever learn these things they won't have to destroy us, they'll be us"
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - 2x01 - Samson And Delilah
"they flow from street to street at a particular speed and in a particular direction. Walk the block, wait for the signal, cross at the light. over and over. So orderly. All day I can watch them and know with a great deal of certainty what they will do at any given moment. But they're not orderly are they, up close, any individual, who knows what they're gonna do. Any one of them might dash across the street at their own time and get hit by a car"
"computers are obedient to a fault. Do you know what's extremely rare in the world of computers? Finding one that will cross against the light"
"please, listen to me I don't want to go! I'm good now, listen to me I don't want to go. i'm fixed now, I ran a test. I love you! I love you John and you love me!"
"John I need you to know everything that happened today, everything we did, it was all... it just happened the way it did and there's nothing we can do to change it. Whatever happened, we're alive -- okay, we're alive. I know you need more from me today but... it's gonna have to be enough. Can you hear me? Are you listening" "yeah I'm listening" "Happy Birthday."
The Inside - 1x02 - Old Wounds
"it's generally understood that the submissive is under control" "that's right they can end the game at any time, all they have to do is say the word"
"I shouldn't've been checking up on you, I just didn't expect to find Becky George" "you didn't"
"why do you think they like it? the women who come to see you." "I've been waiting for that question. I bet you've been asking each other, but does anyone think of coming to an expert" "why" "everyone says it's because they want to feel powerless, because they crave weakness but that's wrong. They do it to survive it. They go through something painful and come out whole the other side and they feel stronger because of it - not weaker"
"Why are you doing this? I've never done anything to you" "you've done everything to me! You're in my head. You close my eyes at night. I see your stupid smug face staring back at me every time I make love to my wife"
"you'll feel stronger. believe me"
The Office - 4x14 - Goodbye Toby
"hey, is this dwight?" "yes it is" "oh my goodness, you sound sexy"
"I'm downloading some n3p--" "that's not it" "--music for a cd mixtape" "close"
"pass curvy metal piece, you will"
The Office - 5x17 - Golden Ticket
"When Michael's skirting a phone call he gave me a list of places to say he is: stopping a fight in the parking lot, an Obama fashion show... whatever that is... or trapped in an oil painting! I'm gonna save that one"
"why do you have a diary?" "to keep secrets from my computer"
"would you like to go to lunch with me? just the two of us?" "with all my heart"
"May I have your attention please! I have an announcement. Mr. Dwight Shrute and I just returned from a wonderful stroll together and while I probably won't do it again, I had fun. I really had fun with my best friend Dwight" "these aren't announcements" "yes they are, you just don't care about the information"
"did you come up with toilet buddy? It's a net, a circular net you put inside the toilet that catches you wallet and all of your change from falling into the toilet"
Torchwood - 2x02 - Sleeper
"stop at the first sign of trouble" "or the first sign of exploding..."
"your bedside manner's rubbish" "you should see his manners in bed, they're atrocious"
"by the time they attack they know every thing about the planet"
"do you feel human?" "yes" "yes, then you are. What makes us human, is it our minds or our bodies?"
"mobiles, landlines, tin cans with bits of string, everything, absolutely everthing. No phones. Phones all broken. 'Hello, anybody there?' 'no' cos the phones aren't working"
Tru Calling - 2x04 - Last Good Day
"okay, I've waited a week so to hell with the rules, somebody has got to ask somebody out for a date. how about dinner" "now? it's 9:30 in the morning"
"six sugars, right?" "seven but I'll live"
"this rewind it felt bad. Cold. Like a part of me was dying."
"she doesn't want to suffer through a long slow painful decline! it's her life, it's her death, it's her decision"
"Jack, help me!" "I can't, I'm not strong enough"
Ugly Betty - 3x07 - Crush'd
"this is why I hate women Mark, they're weak" "ugh, look at them throwing themselves at him... although I would love to live in his pants for a year"
"are you wearing my legging as an outfit?" "it's cute, right? and the other leg makes a matching scarf"
"you've got a good job, your own apartment..." "yeah and you're wearing heels sometimes - thank god"
"are you a friend of Betty's" "what? oh god no"
"I should've known when he said I was beautiful he meant on the inside"
Veronica Mars - 1x08 - Like A Virgin
"what'd you score?" "ugh... 91..." "dude, Snow White took it and scored an 89"
"I'm usually so passive... but our bond goes stronger every day He Who had Satellite Dish"
"why are you holding your hands like that?" "so that one day in your memoirs you'll describe me as inscruitable"
"Oh, you don't even want to mess with me on that today. I just about murked my mom's lazy no-rent-paying tenant this afternoon" "That guy is sleazy. So I hope murked means something bad"
We Can Be Heroes - Episode 4
"I don't appreciate it. I don't appareciate you all being inconsiderate. And I basically think you're all slack bitches, really"
"I can imagine a wild dog snapping at your legs would not be pleasant"
"I'm usually a shorts man myself too, days like this. These are the entertaining trousers, Shelly got them. They look like they're a good weave, let you breathe" "comfortable, yeah" "how do you find those around your johnson? I've got a fairly roomy-- fairly big in the front cos I've got a pretty big one"
"I have decided to keep going with my Ph.D, my fa-- it's-- I think it's stupid to go this far and not to finish it... one semester it's... really stupid. And I am spending too much time with Chinene theatre group so um, I feel I need to focus on my studies. I am going to perform for Indigeridoo but that will be my first and my last performance, so I leave it at that. My father says I am Chinese and there are not many roles in Australia for Chinese people and sometimes I forget that I am Chinese"
"Daniel - D: decent, A: good bloke, N: nonetheless nice, I: is giving, E: everlasting good bloke, L: legend"
part #1 : icons
part #2 : wallpapers
part #3.1: photographers
part #3.2: photographers
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part #4: movies
part #6.1: models
part #6.2: models
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30 Rock - 3x02 - Believe In The Stars
"do you know who I am? Seriously, who am I?"
"Liz, can you please tell Kenneth that Liz wants him?"
"there are only two things I love in this world: everybody and television"
30 Rock - 3x08 - Flu Shot
"look I brought some dinner and monopoly - we can have a fun, low-key night... unless I lose"
"maybe the two of you could go and get the soup?" "I don't understand" "well I'm saying you could get your wallet--" "my what?" "--and go downstairs to the basement--" "no!" "--and then you go the soup place and bring the soup back up here--" "with what, my arms?" "make sure to take your IDs with you" "that would be the worst part!"
"without the crew we'd just be two amazing people succeeding in a vacuum"
"we got you a meat platter" "thanks guys, I am really... going to eat this!"
"I'm so happy the number four the letter U"
"yeah, I get it, you went shopping, I don't need the montage"
"Tracy, I've got it!" "give it to me, it's mine!"
Alias - 1x01 - Truth Be Told
"first of all Danny, the truth is this is just a curtosey call. Like when you say to your neighbour 'we're having a loud party on Saturday night if that's alright with you' what you really mean is 'we're having a loud party on Saturday night'. I will not be used as part of a charming little anecdote you tell your friends at cocktail parties so they can see what a quaint old-fashioned guy Danny really is. Are we clear?" "yes sir" "good. Then welcome to the family"
"hey, this is Sydney, leave me a message... thankyou."
"I just wanna say... start with the teeth in the back if you don't mind"
America's Next Top Model - 4x08 - The Girl Who Gets Bad News
"It's actually a lot more difficult than you think it is so I'm glad I had that experience actually"
"there there anything that's going on with other celebrities and other rappers and singers, you know, like yourself, that, you know, you think they would want to accomplish as well? Is this something that... is this something that... people can go out and say they wanna do this and they wanna do that?"
"well I hope none of you are afraid of tight and confined creepy spaces"
America's Next Top Model - 11x01-02 - The Notorious Fierce Fourteen
"You need this sexy towl it will wash all of the water off your body! Get this towel and you would have a... wet-free body!"
"each cycle I go to at least two or three auditions. When I want something I will pray and pray and I will get off my butt and go and get it done"
Angel - 1x18 - Five By Five
"they gave you a soul... a filthy soul, NO!"
"you feel young, do you Faith? You're looking pretty worn out to me."
"come on Angel, I thought you were bad!"
Angel - 3x13 - Waiting in the Wings
"I saw their production of Gisele in 1890 and cried like a baby... and I was evil!"
"Say, do you like bribes?"
"I don't dance, I echo"
Angel - 5x15 - A Hole In The World
"I am not your friend. I am not your flunky. I am your conduit to the senior partners and they are tired of your insolence, oh yeah, they are not here for your convenience"
"I am not the damsel in distress, I am not some case. I lived in a cave for five years in a world where they killed my kind like cattle, I am not going to be cut down by some monster flu, I am better than that!"
"I'm not scared, I'm not scared. Please. Wesley. Why can't I stay?"
"This will do"
Battlestar Galactica - 1x12-13 - Kobol's Last Gleaming
"Life has a melody, Gaius. A rhythm of notes that becomes your existance once played in harmony with God's plan. It's time to do your part and realise your destiny" "which is what exactly?" "you're the guardian and protector of the new generation of God's children. The first member of out family will be with us soon Gaius. It's time to make your choice" "but I don't understand what you're talking about. Reall, I don't understand" "Gaius - see the face of shape of things to come"
Buffy - 4x22 - Restless
"In just a few moments that curtain is going to open on our very first production. Now everyone that Willow's ever met is out in that audience - including all of us"
"come on, put your back into it! A watcher scoffs at gravity!"
"I think I've figured out a way of steering by gesturing emphatically"
"It's not like anything we've faced before. It seems familiar somehow. Of course. The spell we casted with Buffy must have released some primal evil that's come back seeking - I'm not sure what. Willow, look through the chronicles for some reference to some warrior beast. I've got warn Buffy there's every chance she might be next. And Xander help Willow and try not bleed on my couch I just had it steam cleaned"
"I walk. I talk. I shop. I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods fall back. There are trees in the desert and I don't sleep on a bed of bones"
"be back before Dawn"
Buffy - 5x22 - The Gift
"Blood is life. It's what what keeps you going. Makes you warm, makes you hard, makes you other than dead"
"Sooner or later Glory will re-emerge and make Buffy pay for that mercy and the world with her. Buffy even knows that and still she couldn't take a human life. She's a hero you see. She's not like us."
"the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."
Buffy - 6x07 - Once More, With Feeling
"so Dawn's in trouble - must be Tuesday"
"crawl out of your grave, you find this fight just doesn't mean a thing"
"I lived my life in shadow, never the light on my face. It didn't seem so sad though, I figured that was my place. Now I'm bathed in light, something just isn't right. I'm under your spell, how else could it be anyone notice me?"
"I touch the fire and it freezes me. I look into it and it's black. Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peel. I want the fire back"
"All the twists and bends. Knowing that it ends. Well that depends on if they let you go. On if they know enough to know that when u bow, you leave the crowd... There was no pain. No fear, no doubt, till they pulled me out of heaven. So that’s my refrain, I live in hell 'cause I’ve been expelled from heaven. I think I was in heaven... So give me something to sing about! Please, give me something!"
Community - 1x03 - Introduction to Film
"why are you dressed like an eighties rapist?"
"is that a new camera?" "yeah, it's more expensive but it lets me adjust really specific settings that most people don't notice or think about"
Coupling - 2x03 - Her Best Friend's Bottom
"lets all talk about me! - me, me, me, me, ME!"
"look at these chubby little bastards sitting around, what are they? pets for chairs?"
"I've never had a failure before"
Dexter - Hungry Man
"whatever you did with Rebecca... whatever you're going to do... I don't care, just please I'm begging you don't tell him."
"no one said they were thankful for me. Did you Jonah? Did you say you were thankful for me Jonah?"
"I'm thankful for Dexter!"
"Hi dad"
Doctor Who - 1x13 - Parting Of The Ways
"The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. That you don't just give up, you don't just let things happen, you make a stand, you say no, you have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away"
Doctor Who - 2x13 - Doomsday
"IDENTIFY YOURSELF" "You will identify first" "STATE YOUR IDENTITY" "You will identify first" "IDENTIFY!!!"
"I love you" "quite right too. And I suppose if it's my last chance to say it: Rose Tyler--"
Dollhouse - 2x06 - The Left Hand
"what else would you call it?"
"I'm concerned you may have just tried to tase me"
"we can be who we decide to be"
Firefly - 1x13 - Objects In Space
"have you ever been raped?"
"he's really very gentle and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends"
Futurama - 3x16 - Time Keeps On Slipping
"I may be an old man - in fact, I'm fairly sure I am"
"we appear to be lurching forward randomly in time like a needle skipping on a record player" "what's causing it? is it my outfit?"
"off you go! Apparently."
"just a few... more... hundred... thousand... miles!"
"you're smart, you're beautiful and best of all you'll go out with me... ee?" "Fry, please understand. You're a man, I'm a woman. We're just too different!"
Futurama - 4x02 - Leela's Homeworld
"you all know the orphanarium where leela grew up?" "sure, we talk about it all the time!" "really" "no. BURN!"
"It's a glow-in-the-dark nose you can wear over your regular non-glowing nose"
"wait a second, why aren't you going to kill us anymore?" "yeah, what are you, chicken?" "shut up you two, we can kill ourselves when we get home!"
"she'll never know we're her parents" "that's our gift to her"
Flight Of The Conchords - 1x09 - What Goes on Tour
"let me tell you a little secret Bret, you'll like this. Sometimes late night when I'm driving alone I imagine this is a bus." "yeah?" "Yeah. is that a bit silly is it Bret?" "No, that's cool"
"I'm so livid with you turkeys! you're like couple of cool-looking idiots!"
"that reminds me, keep an eye on Jermaine okay? You're on tour now, it brings out the crazier side of someone like him." "alright well he's having a sleep" "oh is he? Probably not his bed though, eh?" "yes, his bed" "he'd be lying on top of it though, he won't be in it, he'd be on top" "no he's tucked in, it's boring" "is he? probably, yeah... having a rest, getting ready for tonight" "he was watching tv, he wanted to see what the weather was going to be like" "oh wow, probably looking for some thunder storms to rock out in"
"he's got a great sense of humor-- don't joke please"
"I understand what happened, I put the handbread on" "oh in American cars the handbreak's on this side" "I must've just adjusted the seat"
Flight of the Conchords - 2x03 - The Tough Brets
"who were those guys you were dissing? The only one I could make out was Snoopy, what've you got against him?"
"Murray, oh I think you dropped the New Zealand mineral exports for '08/'09"
"Who are these guys?" "Idiots. Official idiots."
"have you ever been made of fun cos of where you were from, have you ever been dissed over the intercom, have you ever found a gift you've given thrown away, have you ever been told you're the wrong shape, have you ever been told you're miss new zealand"
Gilmore Girls - 2x04 - The Road Trip To Harvard
"hmm... they're taller" "not this again" "there's more of them" "mum, the flowers on the wallpaper are not growing or reproducing"
"I sat and forever am at work here"
"wo should probably eat something healthy since we've been eating junk the whole trip" "we had lettuce on our burgers last night" "we picked it off" "but it left its essense!" "there was lettuce essence on our burgers?" "definitely" "and that satisfied our vegetable requirement?" "for the week"
"focus the picture Lorelai" "it is focused, that's how it came out" "it's hurting my eyes!"
"can I ask you stupid questions?" "there is no such thing" "how does ink come out of pens!"
Gilmore Girls - 3x06 - Take The Deviled Eggs
"Lorelai Gilmore, Rory Gilmore, Lorelai Rory Gilmore, Lorelai V Gilmore, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmo, Lorelai Gil and Squeegie Beckenheim"
"I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head" "There we have it, our new town slogan!"
"hey, what do you know about this town loner guy?" "same as everyone, he just skulks around with that backpack - never smiles" "does he also make cheeseburgers and secretly harbour a desire to wear a backwards baseball cap? They're cousins, identical cousins!"
"so where'd you get the money for the car?" "mugged an old lady"
"morgage payment - you mind picking it up this month sweetybabycookiehoney?"
"you're always here Luke - in my heart!"
"sometimes when it's dark and I'm driving like this, I feel the urge to TURN THE WHEEL into oncoming traffic"
"hi, this is Sherry Tinsdale. Looks like there's a tieup on the boulevard, they appear to be moving every building in harvard university so it's now just 1.3 miles from my house. Nice job guys!"
"alright well all we have to do is think of everything that someone could protest that starts with an r" "ragoo!" "ragoo yes, he could be protesting ragoo"
Gilmore Girls - 3x07 - They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They--
"I think I've figured out can be my dance partner for the marathon" "great! who? ... BYE!"
"I can't even open my eyes" "that's okay, there's nothing to see. Kirk's in speedos, Taylor's in a skirt, Al's in assless chaps" "oh my god, stop, I'm never going to be able to close my eyes again"
"do you have a pamphlet?" "yes, I do" "take one to your mother..."
"hey are you talking about me?" "no" "I heard you mention Shane" "Shane isn't you" "Shane concerns me" "Shane concerns me too and all women for that matter"
Gilmore Girls - 3x17 - A Tale Of Poes And Fire
"oh Kirk... you're not selling your laundry again, are ya?"
"welcome and let me assure you there are no human body parts buried in the floor your room to keep you awake tonight. Sound good?" "I guess..."
"you own a restaurant, where's the pen you take orders with?" "I wasn't anticipating taking orders at the Poe reading..."
"what are you doing down there?" "enjoying some air, getting some excercise and freezing!" "well, go home." "home, I have no home! Hunted! Despised!" "What?" "It's from Ed Wood, the movie" "have you gone bonkers?"
Glee - 1x02 - Showmance
"I don't menstrate" "oh yeah? Well neither do I"
"I know you're used to being the cock of the walk around here" "offensive"
"this is where our daughter or gay son will sleep"
"baby, I've got some bad news" "a wealthy relative died?"
Glee - 1x07 - Throwdown
"like that time when I told my house to a nice young couple and I salted the earth in the back yard so that nothing living could grow there in a hundred years"
"I'm about to vomit down your back"
"will you give me my test back!" "I just don't understand anything..."
Grey's Anatomy - 2x16 and 2x17 - It's The End Of The World, As We Know It
"you're the strongest most masculine man I've ever known" "you're smarter than me and you've got really great hair!"
"I can't even remember the last time we kissed. You never the the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't"
"Doctor Milton?" "...I've got kids"
"you know when you don't need to be made fun of? Like when you've got your hand inside a body that's got a bomb in it and a stranger is velcroing a flackjacket to your boob"
House - 4x15 - House's Head
"I'm not a lesbian" "I was rounding up from 50%"
"Amber's in your head?" "you put her in my head, I can't even have a conversation with you in my subconcious without her tagging along" "well she better have her clothes on" "unfortunately ... I didn't mean to say that out loud" "say what out loud?" "I didn't say that out loud? Nothing" "what's going on in there?"
"dance woman!" "you'd rather be diagnosing" "I screamed no" "and your own subconcious ignored you because you'd rather fantasise about finding symptoms. how screwed up is that."
How I Met Your Mother - 2x09 - Slap Bet
"our friend Robin used to do porn -wait for it- ography!"
"you know what the best part about your honesty is? how truthful it is"
"the 80's didn't come to Canada 'till like '93..."
"so just to be clear, you wanted everybody to go to the mall... today?"
"did you have to laugh like that every time?" "... yes."
Legend of the Seeker - 1x08 - Denna
"not even death will end your torture"
"I want you to think of me"
"you taught me how to withstand pain"
Legend of the Seeker - 2x04 - Touched
Lost - 1x24-25 - Exodus
"You are not free. you never have been and you never will be"
"No one's punishing us. There's no such thing as fate."
"Come on, really, what do you think's inside?" "Hope. I think hope's inside"
"only the thing is... we're gonna have to take the boy"
Parks and Recreation - 2x04 - The Practice Date
"all I can say is, I wasn't just having sex - I was making love. To a beautiful woman... and her boyfriend... and a third person whose name I never learned. Furthermore it was wrong of me to say I was building houses for the underprivelidged when I was actually having four-way sex in a cave in Brazil" "I bet cave sex is insane" "why?" "because of the echos - and the humidity"
"and he looked up at me and he said 'thankyou, you've saved my life'" "yeah... hey, I'm really nervous about this date tomorrow night, do you have a first date outfit I could borrow? Like... I don't know, a pair of cargo pants?" "yeah, I wouldn't go with the cargo pants..." "what about like a sexy hat?" "I don't know what that even is"
"Ron has two ex-wives each... named... Tammy" "both of them bitches"
"those are all insane hypotheticals and I promise you they won't happen!" "they have happened. All of these have happened to me"
"I can't think of anything to ask you, I'm sorry my mind is black" "just ask me the first thing that comes into your head" "how big is it?"
Prison Break - 4x12 - Selfless
"actually, there's only one missing piece to the puzzle... and you just brought it to me."
"now what am I gonna do?" "you're gonna run for your life... you idiot!"
Scrubs - 8x01 - My Jerks
"now seal the deal with a follow-up question, but nothing too personal!" "did you deliver vaginally?"
"I want you to run renal functions on Mr. Hicks, can you do that or do you have more questions about my vagina?" "LIE!" "no"
"Dr. Maddox, I think you're a very well-built... sturdy... woman" "like a shed" "not like a shed. Like a naughty..." "like it" "...structure" "structure?"
"oh my god, he's treating you like an equal, QUICK do something equals do!"
Scrubs - 8x04 - My Happy Place
"JD, be sensetive, don't act like you're at a pingpong match between a ninja and bigfoot ... I know that made no sense but he's totally there now in his head"
"now it's time to split before he shares something so personal we're trapped here forever" "well we'd better split" "the last thing I expected was to be an old man with no idea what the hell to do with his life"
"doctor Kelso and I had heard enough of Elliots inspirational stories to know that they invariably end with somebody killing themselves" "but then she moved" "huh maybe not!" "to a better place"
"did you know Elliot's granny panties are actually her granny's panties?"
"do you still let that inner voice of yours control you?" "this is getting too serious! Kick her! Kick her in the head!"
Saturday Night Live - 34x04 - Anne Hathaway
"as my mother would say, god love him but he's a raging manic... and a dear dear friend"
"he wants to know everything about me. He asked about my family, my friends and just yesterday he asked what my social security number was. How sweet is that! Now I know what you're all thinking, 'why is Anne Hathaway so... lucky'"
"you see, I can't have children ... without getting really bad stretch marks"
"supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is a disease of the liver. It's very rare and extremely painful" "goodness, how did you ever learn a word like that Mary Poppins" "I have it! I have the disease" "is it as fun to have as it is to say, Mary Poppins?" "well... no"
Supernatural - 4x16 - On the Head of a Pin
"Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison, ask anyone"
"John Winchester made quite a name for himself. A hundred years. After each session I’d make him the same offer I made you: I’d put down my blade if he picked one up... but he said nein each and every time ... I couldn’t break him. Pulled out all the stops. But John, he was made of something unique, the stuff of heroes. And then came Dean. Dean Winchester. I thought I was up against it again. But, daddy’s little girl, he broke. He broke in thirty. Ah, just not the man your daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean?"
"he's doing God's work" "torturing? That's God's work?"
"there's something caught in my throat ... I think it's my throat"
"God isn't God anymore"
Standoff - 1x18 - Severance
"so that whole fight was just--" "to keep him off balance so we could tactical going through the breach"
"freeze Miss" "are you kidding me? I called you!" "put your hands over your head" "what the hell do I look like to you?"
"you know this woman? she's really his mother?"
"she don't take me serious?" "no no no, we all take you serious ... ly"
"we've been going about this all wrong, we've been trying to split them up easy, we should be trying to get them back together"
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - 1x07 - The Demon Hand
"gone is gone. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When I go, bury me in the earth. Part of me died years ago with Kyle Reese but a part of him lives on in John. If that's not a soul, I don't know what is."
"science now performs miracles like the gods of old, creating life from blood cells or bacteria or a spark or metal but they are perfect creatures and in that way they couldn't be less human. There are things machines will never do. They cannot possess faith, they cannot commune with God. They cannot appreciate beauty, they cannot create art. If they ever learn these things they won't have to destroy us, they'll be us"
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - 2x01 - Samson And Delilah
"they flow from street to street at a particular speed and in a particular direction. Walk the block, wait for the signal, cross at the light. over and over. So orderly. All day I can watch them and know with a great deal of certainty what they will do at any given moment. But they're not orderly are they, up close, any individual, who knows what they're gonna do. Any one of them might dash across the street at their own time and get hit by a car"
"computers are obedient to a fault. Do you know what's extremely rare in the world of computers? Finding one that will cross against the light"
"please, listen to me I don't want to go! I'm good now, listen to me I don't want to go. i'm fixed now, I ran a test. I love you! I love you John and you love me!"
"John I need you to know everything that happened today, everything we did, it was all... it just happened the way it did and there's nothing we can do to change it. Whatever happened, we're alive -- okay, we're alive. I know you need more from me today but... it's gonna have to be enough. Can you hear me? Are you listening" "yeah I'm listening" "Happy Birthday."
The Inside - 1x02 - Old Wounds
"it's generally understood that the submissive is under control" "that's right they can end the game at any time, all they have to do is say the word"
"I shouldn't've been checking up on you, I just didn't expect to find Becky George" "you didn't"
"why do you think they like it? the women who come to see you." "I've been waiting for that question. I bet you've been asking each other, but does anyone think of coming to an expert" "why" "everyone says it's because they want to feel powerless, because they crave weakness but that's wrong. They do it to survive it. They go through something painful and come out whole the other side and they feel stronger because of it - not weaker"
"Why are you doing this? I've never done anything to you" "you've done everything to me! You're in my head. You close my eyes at night. I see your stupid smug face staring back at me every time I make love to my wife"
"you'll feel stronger. believe me"
The Office - 4x14 - Goodbye Toby
"hey, is this dwight?" "yes it is" "oh my goodness, you sound sexy"
"I'm downloading some n3p--" "that's not it" "--music for a cd mixtape" "close"
"pass curvy metal piece, you will"
The Office - 5x17 - Golden Ticket
"When Michael's skirting a phone call he gave me a list of places to say he is: stopping a fight in the parking lot, an Obama fashion show... whatever that is... or trapped in an oil painting! I'm gonna save that one"
"why do you have a diary?" "to keep secrets from my computer"
"would you like to go to lunch with me? just the two of us?" "with all my heart"
"May I have your attention please! I have an announcement. Mr. Dwight Shrute and I just returned from a wonderful stroll together and while I probably won't do it again, I had fun. I really had fun with my best friend Dwight" "these aren't announcements" "yes they are, you just don't care about the information"
"did you come up with toilet buddy? It's a net, a circular net you put inside the toilet that catches you wallet and all of your change from falling into the toilet"
Torchwood - 2x02 - Sleeper
"stop at the first sign of trouble" "or the first sign of exploding..."
"your bedside manner's rubbish" "you should see his manners in bed, they're atrocious"
"by the time they attack they know every thing about the planet"
"do you feel human?" "yes" "yes, then you are. What makes us human, is it our minds or our bodies?"
"mobiles, landlines, tin cans with bits of string, everything, absolutely everthing. No phones. Phones all broken. 'Hello, anybody there?' 'no' cos the phones aren't working"
Tru Calling - 2x04 - Last Good Day
"okay, I've waited a week so to hell with the rules, somebody has got to ask somebody out for a date. how about dinner" "now? it's 9:30 in the morning"
"six sugars, right?" "seven but I'll live"
"this rewind it felt bad. Cold. Like a part of me was dying."
"she doesn't want to suffer through a long slow painful decline! it's her life, it's her death, it's her decision"
"Jack, help me!" "I can't, I'm not strong enough"
Ugly Betty - 3x07 - Crush'd
"this is why I hate women Mark, they're weak" "ugh, look at them throwing themselves at him... although I would love to live in his pants for a year"
"are you wearing my legging as an outfit?" "it's cute, right? and the other leg makes a matching scarf"
"you've got a good job, your own apartment..." "yeah and you're wearing heels sometimes - thank god"
"are you a friend of Betty's" "what? oh god no"
"I should've known when he said I was beautiful he meant on the inside"
Veronica Mars - 1x08 - Like A Virgin
"what'd you score?" "ugh... 91..." "dude, Snow White took it and scored an 89"
"I'm usually so passive... but our bond goes stronger every day He Who had Satellite Dish"
"why are you holding your hands like that?" "so that one day in your memoirs you'll describe me as inscruitable"
"Oh, you don't even want to mess with me on that today. I just about murked my mom's lazy no-rent-paying tenant this afternoon" "That guy is sleazy. So I hope murked means something bad"
We Can Be Heroes - Episode 4
"I don't appreciate it. I don't appareciate you all being inconsiderate. And I basically think you're all slack bitches, really"
"I can imagine a wild dog snapping at your legs would not be pleasant"
"I'm usually a shorts man myself too, days like this. These are the entertaining trousers, Shelly got them. They look like they're a good weave, let you breathe" "comfortable, yeah" "how do you find those around your johnson? I've got a fairly roomy-- fairly big in the front cos I've got a pretty big one"
"I have decided to keep going with my Ph.D, my fa-- it's-- I think it's stupid to go this far and not to finish it... one semester it's... really stupid. And I am spending too much time with Chinene theatre group so um, I feel I need to focus on my studies. I am going to perform for Indigeridoo but that will be my first and my last performance, so I leave it at that. My father says I am Chinese and there are not many roles in Australia for Chinese people and sometimes I forget that I am Chinese"
"Daniel - D: decent, A: good bloke, N: nonetheless nice, I: is giving, E: everlasting good bloke, L: legend"
part #1 : icons
part #2 : wallpapers
part #3.1: photographers
part #3.2: photographers
part #3.3: photographers
part #4: movies
part #6.1: models
part #6.2: models
part #6.3: models
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part #6.9: models