(no subject)
For this prompt at the Flash Fic Challenge at jim_and_bones
"When I first met Bones, I added myself as 'sex god' into his comm. After our first year at the Academy, as a not so subtle hint, I personalized my ringtone to the 20th century song, 'Be My Lover.' I then proceeded to call and text him every hour on the hour until he got the idea. Apparently he decided to enact some revenge."
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Jim didn't even notice the change to his comm until he was walking back to his apartment after teaching classes all day and his phone rang. The tune was familiar but the name 'Haggis' was not. Answering hesitantly he said, "Kirk, here."
"Oy, laddie, we still going drinking tonight?"
"Scotty?"
"Yeah, who else would it be?" the voice questioned.
"Sorry man. My phone is a little messed up. Sure. I'm in for going out. I'll meet you at the usual?"
"Perfect. See you later. Scott out." Jim looked at the disconnected comm amused and a little befuddled. Quickly scrolling through his contact list he saw a multitude of foods listed where names used to be. Connecting the dots, he assumed borscht was Chekov and soy sauce was Sulu. Funnily Uhura was still Uhura; apparently Bones wouldn't do anything to piss her off. Plomeek soup was obviously Spock while watermelon gum was Rand, since she was always chewing it off duty.
Peaches... Nodding to himself Jim texted, "I saw what you did."
He was walking up the stairs to his place when his comm ringed him his response. "And what exactly did I do?"
"Don't play coy or I'll have to punish you. ;)" Jim punched him the door code and entered his apartment. Balancing his comm between his lips, he shrugged off his coat and toed off his shoes.
He went slightly cross eyes when he looked down to see the next message, "Maybe I want you to punish me." Jim chuckled and responded, "Yeah? You want me to bend you over my desk? Spank you until your bottom is the color of cadet reds?" Jim stepped further into the apartment, a grin on his face. It grew when he noticed his partner sitting on the couch in the their living room.
"Hey sexy." Jim sat down next to Bones on the couch. Feeling frisky he leaned over the other man, kissing his neck. Leonard had just angled himself to catch Jim's lips when his phone chimed again. "Gonna answer that?" Bones asked an amused look on his face.
Jim only looked at his comm with half and eye before doing a double take. Quickly he looked to Bones who's comm was resting on the coffee table. Narrowing his eyes, he asked, "Who is 'peaches'?" to the doctor's growing smile.
"Pike," Bones replied smugly.
Scrambling off the couch, Jim flipped Bones the bird before rattling off a hundred apologizes to the Admiral.
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"So that is why my status says, 'fuck my life'." I muttered, bringing my beer up to my lips. After several large gulps I looked at my friends faces and nearly choked at their expressions. Slamming my drink down on the table, I glared at them. "You all were in on it weren't you?" Everyone's face was a picture of innocence except poor Pavel who was turning purple colored trying to school his expression into something a Vulcan could be proud of. "Well screw all of you..." I paused. "Please tell me Pike was in on it too?"
No one's gaze would reach my eyes. "Fuck my life..."
"When I first met Bones, I added myself as 'sex god' into his comm. After our first year at the Academy, as a not so subtle hint, I personalized my ringtone to the 20th century song, 'Be My Lover.' I then proceeded to call and text him every hour on the hour until he got the idea. Apparently he decided to enact some revenge."
-------------
Jim didn't even notice the change to his comm until he was walking back to his apartment after teaching classes all day and his phone rang. The tune was familiar but the name 'Haggis' was not. Answering hesitantly he said, "Kirk, here."
"Oy, laddie, we still going drinking tonight?"
"Scotty?"
"Yeah, who else would it be?" the voice questioned.
"Sorry man. My phone is a little messed up. Sure. I'm in for going out. I'll meet you at the usual?"
"Perfect. See you later. Scott out." Jim looked at the disconnected comm amused and a little befuddled. Quickly scrolling through his contact list he saw a multitude of foods listed where names used to be. Connecting the dots, he assumed borscht was Chekov and soy sauce was Sulu. Funnily Uhura was still Uhura; apparently Bones wouldn't do anything to piss her off. Plomeek soup was obviously Spock while watermelon gum was Rand, since she was always chewing it off duty.
Peaches... Nodding to himself Jim texted, "I saw what you did."
He was walking up the stairs to his place when his comm ringed him his response. "And what exactly did I do?"
"Don't play coy or I'll have to punish you. ;)" Jim punched him the door code and entered his apartment. Balancing his comm between his lips, he shrugged off his coat and toed off his shoes.
He went slightly cross eyes when he looked down to see the next message, "Maybe I want you to punish me." Jim chuckled and responded, "Yeah? You want me to bend you over my desk? Spank you until your bottom is the color of cadet reds?" Jim stepped further into the apartment, a grin on his face. It grew when he noticed his partner sitting on the couch in the their living room.
"Hey sexy." Jim sat down next to Bones on the couch. Feeling frisky he leaned over the other man, kissing his neck. Leonard had just angled himself to catch Jim's lips when his phone chimed again. "Gonna answer that?" Bones asked an amused look on his face.
Jim only looked at his comm with half and eye before doing a double take. Quickly he looked to Bones who's comm was resting on the coffee table. Narrowing his eyes, he asked, "Who is 'peaches'?" to the doctor's growing smile.
"Pike," Bones replied smugly.
Scrambling off the couch, Jim flipped Bones the bird before rattling off a hundred apologizes to the Admiral.
-------------
"So that is why my status says, 'fuck my life'." I muttered, bringing my beer up to my lips. After several large gulps I looked at my friends faces and nearly choked at their expressions. Slamming my drink down on the table, I glared at them. "You all were in on it weren't you?" Everyone's face was a picture of innocence except poor Pavel who was turning purple colored trying to school his expression into something a Vulcan could be proud of. "Well screw all of you..." I paused. "Please tell me Pike was in on it too?"
No one's gaze would reach my eyes. "Fuck my life..."