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[bluntman921]

I have decided to become a better person many times before, but now I am officially posting my plans online. Hopefully my adoring fan base will be able to encourage me to follow through with my high minded goals. After reading McSweeney's post about romanticism, specifically the parts about having unattainable crushes, really inspired me. I wish

Comments

[tyrius]

for starters, way to be all up with self-improvement. seriously, that's cool. but on a significantly less serious note, driving fast does not make you a bad person

[vivianthemighty]

I COMMAND YOU TO FOLLOW THE 12 PROCLAMEDTH RULES OF THEE. there goes trying to sound smart or cool or biblical. i laughed so hard i sneezed when i read you rules. not because they are funny, just because they are so you. the one about drinking more water really got me.

[lostinstories]

Man, Matt, I'm glad about this. I feel like you can never consider me a normal person or a friend because of my friendship with your sister, but I care about you nonetheless. And I hate that you're bitter (etc.) and even more that I can't change that. Basically, I support you fully in this.

(and I can't help but wish that you'd let us be friends and I'd try to make you warmer since it's all I can do for anyone anymore (in general), but I do understand, even though I sort of try not to).

[startobee23]

Don't worry. I don't take any bullshit.